Umona Ogulayo: Ungayibona kanjani futhi uyiqede?

Umona, uma umnene futhi ngezikhathi ezithile, ukhumbuza abashadile ukuthi bangathathi kancane. Kodwa uma kunobuthi futhi kungenangqondo, kuthinta ukuzinza kobudlelwane bothando. Umhawu ongenampilo uyacekela phansi futhi uholela kwezinye izingxabano. Kulesi sihloko, thola izimpawu zomona onobuthi, imiphumela owubangelayo nokuthi ungawuphatha kanjani.

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Umona Ogulayo: kuyini?

Umhawu ongenampilo wumuzwa ongenampilo ongavela kuzo zonke izinhlobo zobudlelwane obuseduze. Isondela ku-paranoia ngokuziqhathanisa nabanye futhi uzizwe ukhungathekile, uphansi futhi udangele. Umgomo lapha uwukulawula ngokugcwele ubudlelwano. Yingakho ihaba, ukuzidabukela, amanga, izinsongo kanye/noma ukukhohlisa kuvame ukusetshenziswa umlingani onomona ongapheli.

Yiziphi izimpawu zomona ongenampilo? Ukuncika Kwemizwelo

Nazi ezinye izimpawu ezingakutshela mayelana nenkinga yesikhwele esingenampilo kumlingani onomona:

1. L uyesaba ukulahlekelwa uthando lomunye
2. Ukuzizwa uphansi futhi ukungazethembi
3. Isifiso sokulawula abanye nokuba yisisekelo sempilo yabo

1 er uphawu: ukwesaba ukulahlekelwa uthando lomunye

Njengengxenye ye umhawu okunobuthi, ukwesaba ukulahlekelwa uthando lwabanye kuwuphawu lokuncika ngokomzwelo. Umlingani omlutha uyesaba ukushiywa isithandwa sakhe. Uyesaba ukwephula isibopho sokunamathelana esimbophela kumlingani wakhe. Lokhu kwesaba okungenampilo kokulahlekelwa uthando lomunye umuntu kuxhumene nemizwelo ejulile yokungakwazi ukuphila ngaphandle kwalo mlingani.

2 e uphawu: ukuzizwa uphansi kanye nokulahlekelwa ukuzethemba

Bonke abantu abathembele ngokomzwelo bathuthukisa imizwa yokuzenyeza ngokomzwelo. Banesimo sengqondo esinjalo. ukuzenyeza futhi uqhubekele phambili ebudlelwaneni bothando nokuncipha kokuzethemba. Ukuzithanda kungumthombo wokuzinza ngokomzwelo. Kuyisisekelo sentuthuko yokuzikhukhumeza okuthi uma ikhona ngesilinganiso esifanele, bese kuvumela ukuthuthukiswa kokuzethemba okuqinile.

Lokhu kukusiza ukuthi uzazise futhi uzizwe ufanelwe ukuthandwa. Nokho, umlingani othembele ngokomzwelo akazivezi ngaso sonke isikhathi izici zomuntu ofanelwe ukuthandwa. Akaqiniseki neze ngothando nokutshalwa kwezimali kothandiweyo wakhe. Uzizwa sengathi akabufanele ubuhlobo noma akakufanelekele ukuthandwa.

3 e uphawu: isifiso sokulawula abanye nokuba maphakathi nezimpilo zabo

Ukuze alondoloze ukuzethemba kwakhe kusezingeni eliphakeme, othembele ngokomzwelo udinga ukunconywa abanye. Idinga ukubukeka kwayo okuhle, uthando lwayo nokuzithoba kwayo ukuze ivuselele ukuzethemba kwayo okuhlulekayo. Ngoba akunakwenzeka ukuba akholelwe ebukhoneni bakhe ngaphandle kokuba khona emehlweni abanye, uzofuna konke ukunakwa komlingani wakhe. Ngaphezu kwalokho, uzohlakulela umona ongenasizathu kunoma yikuphi ukutshalwa kwezimali okwenziwe ngomunye umuntu ongaphandle kobudlelwane.

Isikhwele esinobuthi: imiphumela empilweni yomshado

Umona oqaphile ngokuvamile unomthelela omubi kukhwalithi iyonke yobudlelwano:

1. Kuholela ekuthembeleni ngokomzwelo kanye nokuntula ukuzethemba phakathi kwabalingani. Umlingani onomona angase abe ne-paranoia ngenxa yomona onobuthi.
2. Kuphinde kubangele ukuphazamiseka kwengqondo nokuziphatha kumuntu onomona. Umlingani onomona, isibonelo, angaba nobudlova ngokomzimba noma ngamazwi. Kungabangela ukukhathazeka, ukungazethembi nokuzethemba. Ngokufanayo, angakwazi ukwenza izenzo zobuhlanya ezingase zimfake obishini. 
3. Ukwethembeka kozakwethu kuyabuzwa futhi uba isisulu sokumangalelwa ngamanga. Lezi zinsolo ezicatshangwayo ziyamethusa umlingani wakho. Okulandelayo wukuhlukana nokuphela kobudlelwano.
4. Umhawu ongenampilo udala nezinkinga ezithile zomzimba ezibonakala ngazo izimpawu ezifana nokushaya ngamandla ngenxa yokukhathazeka, umfutho wegazi ophakeme, ukuphazamiseka kokulala nokuqwasha, ubuhlungu bekhanda nobuhlungu besisu, ukungasebenzi kahle kwamasosha omzimba, ubuhlungu besifuba, ukukhuluphala noma ukuncipha, ukungakuthandi ukudla.

Ingabe umuntu ogulayo onomona angashintsha?

Yebo, umuntu onomona ngokweqile uyakwazi ukushintsha futhi alulame. Kunezindlela eziningana zokufeza lokhu. Ngaphezu kwakho konke, umuntu onomona kufanele aqaphele lesi sici somlingiswa anobuthi kubo nakumlingani wabo. Lokhu angakwenza kuphela ngaphakathi kohlaka lokuxhumana okungagwegwesi nokungahlungiwe nomlingani wakhe womshado.

Indlela yokubhekana nomlingani we-hyper jealous?

Manje njengoba usukwazi ukubona isikhwele esingenampilo, nazi ezinye izincomo zabo bobabili abashadile, noma ngabe ungumuntu oshade naye onomona omkhulu.

Uma unomuntu othandana naye onomona

• Zinqumele ukuthi wenza into evusa umona
• Misa lo msebenzi noma ukubamba iqhaza isikhathi esithile ukuze ubonise owakwakho ukuthi uzibophezele kubambiswano lwakho lomshado
• Bonisa uthando lwakho kumlingani wakho
• Khuluma ngokukhululekile ngenkinga nowakwakho
• Buza umbono wabo njalo futhi nibheke izixazululo ndawonye

Uma ungumlingani onomona omkhulu

Uyafuna ukwazi ukuthi ungawelapha kanjani umona ongenampilo? Landela lawa macebiso:

• Xoxa nabangani obathembayo futhi ubalalele 
• Umona oboniswayo ungase uqhamuke kuwe hhayi kumlingani wakho
• Thembeka kuwe ngokwakho futhi wenze i-introspection ukuze uthole ukuthi yini ebangela le mizwa
• Zindla futhi wenze izenzo zokupha
• Bheka owakwakho ngendlela eyakhayo
• Tshela umlingani wakho ukuthi uzizwa kanjani
• Vuma umona wakho futhi ube neqiniso ngaphandle kokusola noma ukukhohlisa.

Isixhumanisi phakathi komhawu ongenampilo kanye nokuhlukunyezwa kwe-narcissistic

Umhawu ongenampilo kanye nokuhlukunyezwa kwe-narcissistic kuvame ukusondelana, okwenza umjikelezo ononya obhubhisayo ebudlelwaneni. Abantu abane-Narcissistic bangase babonise umona oweqile kumlingani wabo. Lo mhawu uba yithuluzi lokuxhaphaza ngokomzwelo, okuvumela umgadli ukuthi agcine ukulawula kwakhe omunye.

Ngesikhathi esifanayo, umona we-pathological ungaba umhlabathi ovundile lapho ukuziphatha okuhlukumezayo kuthuthukiswa khona. Ukungazethembi okujulile okubhebhezela umona kucindezela umuntu ukuthi aqhubeke efuna ukunakwa nokutuswa, izici ezivamile ze-narcissism. Ngakho-ke, lezi zici ezimbili ezingokwengqondo ziyadlana, okudala isimo sobudlelwane obunobuthi lapho ukwethembana kozakwethu, ukuzimela, nokuzethemba kwehliswa ngendlela ehlelekile.

Izikhombo zemibhalo ekhuluma ngomhawu ongenampilo

1. Marazziti, D., Di Nasso, E., Baroni, S., et al. (2003). “I-Neurobiology of Pathological Jealousy.” »
   I-World Journal ye-Biological Psychiatry, 4 (1), 55-61.
2. I-Djerada, S. (2019). “Umhawu kanye ne-psychopathology: Umona ebuhlotsheni bomshado. »
   Ijenali ye-Clinical and Therapeutic Psychopathology, 35 (2), 77-89.
   Ukuhlaziywa okujulile komona we-pathological kanye nezixhumanisi zawo nokuphazamiseka kwengqondo okuhlukile ebudlelwaneni bombhangqwana.
3. Limosin, C., & Azorin, J.-M. “Umhawu ongathandeki: Izindlela zokwelapha nezokwelashwa. »
   I-Psychiatry yabantu abadala, Indiza. 7, 103-120.
   Le ncwadi ikhuluma ngezinhlobo ezahlukene zomona ongenampilo kanye nokwelashwa okungenzeka.
4. USilva, H., & Leite, P. (2017). “Umhawu we-Pathological: Izimpawu, izimbangela, kanye nezinketho zokwelapha.” »
   I-Journal of Clinical Psychiatry, 68 (3), 512-518.
   Ukubuyekezwa okuphelele kwezimpawu nezimbangela zomona we-pathological, ngokubukezwa kwezinketho zokwelashwa.
5. Dutton, DG, & Painter, S. (1981). “I-Criminal Jealousy Syndrome: Okuvela Kubasebenzi Besistimu Yezobulungiswa Bobugebengu.” » Ijenali Yamazwe Ngamazwe Yezomthetho Nezengqondo, 4 (2), 201-210.
   Lolu cwaningo lugxile emiphumeleni yobugebengu yomona we-pathological, ikakhulukazi ezimeni zodlame lwasekhaya.
6. Mullen, PE (1990). “Umhawu: I-Pathology of Passion.” » Ijenali yaseBrithani Yezengqondo, 157 (5), 593-601.
7. Easton, JA, Schipper, LD, & Shackelford, TK (2007). “Isikhwele esibi kanye nodlame olusondelene nozakwethu. » Ukuhlukumezeka nokuziphatha okunodlame, 12 (3), 364-375.

Umona ogulayo njengejele

Kafushane, isikhwele esingenampilo kwabesifazane noma kwabesilisa siqhelelene nokuba yindawo yokuthula kumbhangqwana. Yijele lapho isiboshwa kufanele silandele khona imithetho nokungavikeleki konogada noma sibhekane nesijeziso. Asikho isikhala noma ukucatshangelwa ukuzethemba, okwangempela noma ukukhula komuntu siqu. Ngenhlanhla, zikhona izixazululo ezingasiza umbhangqwana ukuba ukunqoba umona.