Ukwelashwa kwezithandani nge-narcissistic pervert: Uhambo oluthambile

Ukuba sebudlelwaneni nomuntu ophendukezela i-narcissistic kuyinselele yangempela, kokubili ngokomzwelo nangokwengqondo. Lapho uthatha isinqumo sokuqala ekwelashweni kwabashadile, kubalulekile ukuzilungiselela kahle futhi wazi izingqinamba okungenzeka ubhekane nazo. Lesi sihloko sihlose ukukuqondisa futhi sikuhlomise ukuthi uzivikele kangcono kule nqubo ebucayi.

Ukuqonda izindaba zokwelashwa kwezithandani

Ukwelashwa kwezithandani kuvame ukwethulwa njengesixazululo sokuxazulula izingxabano nokuthuthukisa ukuxhumana phakathi kombhangqwana. Kodwa-ke, uma omunye wozakwethu ephendukezela i-narcissistic, le bhizinisi ingabonakala intekenteke ngokwedlulele, futhi ingakhiqizi.

Ngempela, i-narcissistic pervert inezidingo kanye nezindlela zokusebenza ezihluke kakhulu kulezo zomuntu onempilo. Okubalulekile kwabo akukhona ukuthuthukisa ubudlelwano, kodwa kunalokho ukugcina ukubamba kwabo nokulawula isisulu sabo. Bangase basebenzise ngisho nokwelashwa kwemibhangqwana njengendawo entsha yokusebenzisa ukukhohlisa kwabo.

Ukuthola umelaphi ofanele: isihluthulelo sempumelelo

Isinyathelo sokuqala esibalulekile ukuthola umelaphi oqonda ukuguquguquka kobudlelwano nomuntu oyi-narcissist. Ngeshwa, akubona bonke ochwepheshe abaqeqeshiwe kulezi zinkinga eziyinkimbinkimbi. Nawa amanye amathiphu okuthola umuntu ofanelekile:

• Idinga umelaphi osebenza ngokukhethekileukuhlukunyezwa kwe-narcissistic : Hlola ngokucophelela amakhono nolwazi lwalowo ozoba ngumelaphi. Ungangabazi ukumbuza mayelana nolwazi lwakhe lokuziphatha okujwayelekile kwabahlanekezeli be-narcissistic kanye nekhono lakhe lokuhlonza nokubhekana nabo. Uchwepheshe onolwazi uzokwazi ukusebenzisa amasu afanelekile ukuze akuvikele.
• Themba indlela ozizwa ngayo: Lapho uqala ukuthintana, qaphela imizwa yakho. Uma okuthile kukubekela inselele noma kukwenza ungakhululeki, ungangabazi ukubheka enye inketho. Ukuphepha kwakho kanye nenhlalakahle yakho kufanele kube yinto eza kuqala.
• Cabangela ukwelashwa komuntu ngamunye kusengaphambili: Ukuze uzilungiselele kangcono, kungaba umqondo omuhle ukuqala ngokwelashwa komuntu ngamunye nochwepheshe owazi amandla obudlelwano obunobuthi. Lokhu kuzokuvumela ukuthi uzihlomise futhi uchaze ngokucacile izinhloso zakho ngaphambi kokuqala ukwelashwa kwabashadile.

Zivikele ngesikhathi sokwelashwa

Uma usuthole umelaphi ofanele, kubalulekile ukulungiselela kahle iseshini ngayinye yokwelapha yabashadikazi. Nawa amathiphu okuzivikela:

1. Hlala uqaphile lapho uphatha: Qaphela imizamo yomlingani wakho yokukudicilela phansi noma akwenze ubonakale “unzima” ebudlelwaneni. Ungangabazi ukusetha irekhodi ngokuqinile uma kunesidingo.
2. Thatha amanothi anemininingwane: Bhala amanothi athile mayelana nezehlakalo eziyinkinga, ukuziphatha, nokusebenzisana ofuna ukukulungisa. Lokhu kuzokusiza ukuthi uhlale ugxilile futhi ungakhohlwa lutho phakathi neseshini.
3. Zizwe ukhululekile ukurekhoda izingxoxo: Uma umelaphi wakho ekuvumela, ungesabi ukurekhoda ukuhwebelana. Lokhu kuzokunikeza ukwesekwa okubambekayo ukuze uphinde uvakashele izakhi ezithile futhi uzivikele ekuhlanekeni okungaba khona kweqiniso.
4. Qinisekisa izidingo zakho nemikhawulo: Cacisa ukuthi yini oyifunayo ekwelashweni nokuthi yini ongakalungeli ukuyamukela. Ungangabazi ukuphazamisa isithandwa sakho bese ucela umelaphi ukuthi angenelele.

Hlala uqaphile izingibe ezingaba khona

Ngeshwa, ukwelashwa kwemibhangqwana nge-narcissistic pervert kunezingozi ezinkulu. Nazi ezinye izingibe okufanele uziqaphele:

• Qaphela abelaphi abanganaki: Abanye ochwepheshe, naphezu kwezinhloso zabo ezinhle, bangakhohliswa ukukhohlisa komlingani wakho. Qaphela uma umelaphi ebonakala ethatha uhlangothi noma elulaza okukukhathazayo.
• Ungazivumeli uzizwe unecala: Umlingani wakho angase azame ukwenza wena ubonakale unecala ezinkingeni zombhangqwana. Hlala uqinile ezikhundleni zakho futhi ungangabazi ukuveza amaqiniso ayinkinga nokuziphatha.
• Beka kuqala ukwelashwa kwakho ngakunye: Khumbula ukuthi ukwelashwa kwezithandani akukwazi ukuxazulula izinkinga ezihlobene nobuntu bozakwenu be-narcissistic. Qhubeka nokusebenza kuwe kanye nokuphulukiswa kwakho ngesikhathi esifanayo.
• Lungela ukuqeda ukwelashwa: Uma, naphezu kwayo yonke imizamo yakho, ukwelashwa kwabashadile kubonakala kungasebenzi noma kungenamphumela, ungangabazi ukukuphazamisa. Ukuphepha kwakho nenhlalakahle yakho kufanele kuze kuqala.

Ukwamukela Imikhawulo Yokwelashwa Kwezithandani

Kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuthi ukwelashwa kwabashadile akuyona ikhambi lokubhekana ne-narcissistic pervert. Amandla ayo okushintsha ngokuvamile alinganiselwe kakhulu, noma angabibikho. Nazi ezinye izinto okufanele uzikhumbule:

1. Ukwelashwa akukwazi “ukwelapha” i-narcissistic pervert: Naphezu kwemizamo emihle kakhulu, umlingani wakho we-narcissistic cishe ngeke ashintshe. Ukwelapha imibhangqwana akuhloselwe ukuhlasela ubuntu bomuntu.
2. Gxila ekwelapheni kwakho: Kunokuba ugxile ekushintsheni okungenakwenzeka komlingani wakho, beka phambili uhambo lwakho lomuntu siqu. Ukwelashwa okukhethekile komuntu ngamunye kungakusiza ukuthi wakhe kabusha impilo yakho.
3. Cabangela amathuba okuhlukana: Uma, naphezu kwemizamo yakho emihle kakhulu, ukwelashwa kwabashadile kungenampumelelo, ungesabi ukucabangela ukuhlukana. Ukuphepha kwakho kanye nentuthuko yomuntu siqu kubalulekile.

Zinakekele

Ukudlula ekwelashweni kwezithandani nge-narcissist kungakhandla futhi kuqede amandla. Ungangabazi ukuzungeza inethiwekhi yokwesekwa eqinile, thintana nomelaphi ukuze uzinike izikhathi zokuphefumula kanye nokushajwa kabusha. Inhlalakahle yakho ibalulekile ukuze udlule kulobu bunzima.

Khumbula ukuthi awuwedwa kulesi simo. Abesifazane abaningi bake babhekana nalo mzabalazo futhi baphuma benamandla. Ngamathuluzi afanele nokusekelwa, nawe ungakwenza. Ikusasa lakho likufanele ukulwela.

Isiphetho: Ukwelashwa kwabashadile, ithuluzi okufanele liphathwe ngokucophelela

Ukwelashwa kwezithandani kungaba uhambo olunzima noluyinkimbinkimbi, ikakhulukazi uma usothandweni nomuntu ophendukezela i-narcissistic. Kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuthi inhlalakahle yakho kufanele ihlale iseqhulwini. Ungalokothi uzizwe unecala ngokuqeda ukwelashwa kwabashadile uma unomuzwa wokuthi akukunikezi ukwesekwa okudingayo noma okubi nakakhulu, ukuthi kwenza isimo sibe sibi nakakhulu. Into ebaluleke kakhulu ukuzivikela futhi uzungeze ochwepheshe abanekhono abaqonda ngempela ukuguquguquka okuhlanekezelwe kanye nomthelela wako kuwe.

Ekugcineni, kungenzeka ukuthi indlela engcono kakhulu eya phambili iwukuhlehla ebuhlotsheni futhi ugxile ekwelashweni ngakunye ukuze wakhe kabusha ukuzethemba kwakho, ukuzethemba, nokuzimela. Ungalinge ulahlekelwe umbono weqiniso lokuthi ufanelwe ukuphila ngaphandle kokuxhashazwa nokuhlupheka. Unelungelo lokufuna injabulo ngaphandle kwalokhu ubuhlobo obunobuthi futhi lichume ngokugcwele, likhululeke emaketangeni ethonya elibhubhisayo.