Bona isondo lemizwa ebudlelwaneni nomuntu ophendukezela i-narcissistic

Ubudlelwano ne-narcissist bungaba nzima kakhulu ukuzulazula, ikakhulukazi uma kuziwa ekuhlonzeni ukuziphatha okuhlukile okukhohlisayo. Enye yezinto eziguquguqukayo ezicashe kakhulu nezicashe kakhulu “isondo lemizwelo,” umjikelezo womzwelo onobuthi ongabamba izisulu iminyaka eminingi.

Liyini isondo lomzwelo?

Isondo lemizwa lisho iphethini yemizwa ephindaphindayo lapho i-narcissistic pervert ishintshana phakathi kokuziphatha okuhlukile ukuze kugcinwe ukulawula. Lo mjikelezo ngokuvamile unezigaba ezine:

1. Idealization: Ekuqaleni kobudlelwano, i-narcissistic pervert ikubeka phezu kwe-pedestal, ikunikeza izincomo, ukunaka nothando. Lesi sigaba sikwenza uzizwe ukhethekile, uthandwa futhi uphephile.
2. Ukwehla kwenani: Kungazelelwe, i-narcissistic pervert iqala ukukugxeka, ikwehlisa isithunzi futhi inciphise impumelelo yakho. Ube usuzizwa udidekile, ulimele futhi ubuzwa.
3. Ukulahlwa/Ukwenqatshwa: Uma usabela ekuziphatheni kwakhe okulimazayo, i-narcissist ingase ihoxise ngokomzwelo noma ngisho ngokomzimba, ikushiye esimweni sokukhathazeka nokwesaba ukulahlekelwa nguye.
4. Ukubuyisana: Ngemva kwesikhathi sokubanda noma ukungabikho, umuntu ophendukezela i-narcissistic uyabuya, axolise futhi akwenze ukholwe ekubuyeleni esigabeni sokucabanga. Kwenza ube nethemba lokuthi izinto zizolunga.

Ukuqonda isondo lemizwa

Nanka amaphuzu okufanele uwacabangele:

1. Umzwelo oyinhloko wokuziqhenya

Uma uphambi komuntu ophendukezela i-narcissistic, umzwelo wokuqala oyinhloko ongakuhlasela yilowo wokuziqhenya. Kungase kubonakale kuyindida, kodwa lokhu kuziqhenya okungafanele futhi okuyihaba kuvame ukuyisisekelo sokuziphatha komlingani wakho.

Akuwona umbuzo wokuziqhenya okunempilo nokulinganiselayo, kodwa kunalokho ukuzikhukhumeza okumcindezelayo ukuthi azibone emkhulu kunabanye. Lesi sidingo esiqhubekayo sokudunyiswa, ukunconywa kanye nokubekwa phezu kwe-pedestal yisici esiyinhloko se-narcissistic pervert. Noma yini esongela lesi sithombe sakho esithophayo sizobonakala njengokuhlasela komuntu siqu.

2. Ukwesaba okufihliwe

Ngemuva kwalolu cala lobuso bokuba namandla onke kukhona ukwesaba okujulile. Umdukisi we-narcissistic uzakhele izindonga ukuze azivikele emhlabeni alibona njengesabisayo. Lokhu kwesaba amadlozi, okuvame ukuvela ebuntwaneni bakhe, kumcindezela ukuba azivikele ngokweqile futhi azivalele kuye.

Engakwazi ukuvulela abanye isifuba ngempela, akakwazi ukudala izibopho ezijulile nezihlala njalo. Uyesaba ukuba sengozini, ukuveza amaphutha akhe, ngoba wesaba ukuthi azosetshenziswa kuye. Lokhu kwesaba yikona okuyimbangela yokufuna kwakhe ukulawula namandla phezu kwalabo abamzungezile.

3.Ukuba wedwa okukhona

Lokhu kungakwazi ukwakha ukuxhumana kwangempela nabanye kuholela umuntu ophambukile othanda ukuzikhukhumeza ohlotsheni lokuzikhukhumeza. ukuhlala yedwa ukuba khona. Naphezu kwenani labangane noma ubudlelwano angaba nabo, akakaze axhumane nabo ngempela. Kuye, abantu bamane nje “bayimithombo yokuzikhukhumeza,” okusho ukondla ubugovu bakhe nokuzizwa engcono.

Akukho ukwabelana kwangempela, izimfihlo, noma ukusondelana kulobu budlelwano. Umuntu ophambukile othanda ukuzikhukhumeza akalokothi avuleke ngokugcwele, ngenxa yokwesaba ukulimala noma ukukhashelwa. Lesi sizungu sangaphakathi, lokhu kungabi nalutho akuzwayo, kuyamkhuthaza ukucasuka maqondana nomhlaba kanye nesidingo sawo sokubusa abanye.

4. Ubuncane obunxeshezelwe

Enhliziyweni yomuntu ophendukezelwe yi-narcissistic umuzwa ojulile wokuzizwa uphansi. Njengoba engakwazi ukwamukela amaphutha neziphambeko zakhe, uzifihla ngemva komfanekiso wokuphelela afuna ukuwenza ngazo zonke izindlela.

Uma le nkohliso iphukile, lapho sizama ukuyibuza, u-narcissistic pervert uzwa ubuqotho bakhe busongelwa. Ube esesabela ngokuhlaselwa, ukugxeka okuqinile noma ukuthula okuneqhwa, emzamweni onzima wokulondoloza ubuqhawe bakhe obuntekenteke.

Umjikelezo wemizwelo

Le mizwa emine eyinhloko – ukuziqhenya, ukwesaba, isizungu kanye nokungabi nalutho – ihlangana ukuze yenze umjikelezo wemizwa oyinkimbinkimbi ku-narcissistic pervert. Ngamunye wale mizwelo uyabhebhethekisa futhi uqinise eminye, udale ukugoqeka okumphushela ekuziphatheni okulimazayo ngokwandayo.

Ukuziqhenya okukhukhumezayo kubangela ukwesaba ukuba sengozini, okuholela ekubeni uzihlukanise nesizungu. Lesi sizungu sondla umuzwa wokuzizwa uphansi lowo ophendukezela i-narcissistic azama ngokuxhamazela ukunxephezela ukubonakala kokuphakeme.

Kukulo mjikelezo wesihogo lapho wena, njengesisulu, uzithola uvaleleke. Uzakwenu one-narcissistic ohlanekezelwe uhlale eguquguquka phakathi kwale mizwelo ehlukene, ekufaka ekuhlaselweni ngamazwi, ukunganaki noma ukuqhuma kwentukuthelo.

Ireferensi yezincwadi zokubona isondo lemizwa

Nazi izikhombo zebhayibheli eziyisikhombisa endikimbeni “yesondo lemizwa”:

1. Plutchik, R. (1980). Umzwelo: I-psychoevolutionary synthesisUHarper & Row.
2. INussbaum, MC (2001). Imizwelo nesizathu: Indlela yefilosofi. Izinhlelo ze-La Découverte.
3. Levine, R. (1999). I-dynamics of emotions: Indlela yokusebenza kwengqondo. Izinguqulo zenhlangano.
4. Le Doux, J. (1999). Ubuchopho bomzwelo: Imizwa kanye nomthelela wayo ekuziphatheni. Odile Jacob.
5. Laforge, G. (2006). Imizwa nokuphathwa kwezingxabano: Imodeli yesondo lemizwa, e Ukulawula ukungqubuzana: Izindlela namathuluzi (amakhasi 25-45). Izinguqulo Quebec America.
6. UMeyer, uM. (2013). Imizwa enhliziyweni yokuxhumana. I-University Presses yaseFrance.
7. Bouchard, S. (2009). Imizwelo kanye nethonya layo ekuziphatheni, e I-Psychology yemizwa (amakhasi 75-90). Izifundo du Mont Royal.

Lezi zithenjwa zihlanganisa izici ezihlukahlukene zemizwa futhi zinganikeza isiqalo esihle sokuhlola umqondo wesondo lomzwelo.

Isiphetho

Ubudlelwano nomuntu ophendukezela i-narcissistic ngokuvamile buphawulwa umjikelezo wemizwa olimazayo, oboniswa “isondo lemizwa”. Le phethini, eyakhiwe izigaba zokucabanga kahle, ukwehlisa inani, ukulahlwa kanye nokubuyisana, igcina izisulu kumjikelezo wokudideka nokuhlupheka. Ukuqonda imizwa eyisisekelo, njengokuzikhukhumeza, ukwesaba, isizungu esikhona, kanye nemizwa yokuzizwa uphansi, kunikeza ukuqonda mayelana nezinqubo zokukhohlisa ekudlalweni. Ekugcineni, ukuqwashisa nolwazi kungamathuluzi abalulekile okubuyisela amandla omuntu siqu nokwakha ubudlelwano obunempilo.