Ukucasuka phakathi kwabesifazane abayizisulu ze-narcissistic pervert

Ngemuva kobudlelwane nomuntu ophendukezela i-narcissistic, abesifazane abaningi bazithola belwa nomuzwa onzima futhi oqhubekayo: ukucasuka. Lo muzwa ojulile, ovame ukudidaniswa nentukuthelo, ungase ugxile ezingqondweni zezisulu, uthonye inqubo yabo yokuphulukisa kanye nombono wabo ngezwe. Lesi sihloko sihlola ama-nuances okucasuka kanye nomsuka wako kumongo wobudlelwane be-narcissistic.

Umehluko phakathi kwentukuthelo nokucasuka

Intukuthelo nokucasuka yimizwa emibili ehlukene edlala indima ebalulekile ekuhlangenwe nakho kwangemva kobudlelwane bezisulu zabahlanekezeli be-narcissistic. Nakuba ngokuvamile ididekile, le mizwa inezici ezihlukahlukene nemithelela:

• Intukuthelo: umuzwa wemvelo futhi ongase ube nokwakha

La intukuthelo kuwukusabela okuvamile ngokomzwelo ekungabini nabulungisa nokukhungatheka. Kungaba amandla ashukumisayo oshintsho nokwelapha lapho kushaneli ngendlela efanele. Intukuthelo ngokuvamile iwumzwelo wesikhashana ongavezwa ngezindlela ezinempilo.

• Ukucasuka: umuzwa ophikelelayo futhi ongase ucekele phansi

Lolu uhlobo lwentukuthelo olubamba isikhathi eside. Kuhilela ukuhlola njalo ububi obenzekile kanye nesifiso sokuziphindiselela. Ukucasuka kungadla umuntu ngaphakathi, kuthiye inqubo yakhe yokwelapha.

Izimpande Zokucasuka Ebudlelwaneni Be-Narcissistic

Intukuthelo ithola indawo evundile ikakhulukazi kumongo wobudlelwano nomuntu ophendukela ku-narcissistic. Kunezici ezimbalwa ezinomthelela ekuthuthukisweni kwayo:

• Ukungabi nabulungisa okubonakele: Izisulu ngokuvamile ziba nomuzwa wokuthi ziye zaphathwa ngendlela engenabulungisa kakhulu. Ukuntula ukuqashelwa noma ukuzisola ngasohlangothini lwe-narcissist kubhebhezela lo muzwa wokungabi nabulungisa.

• Isikhathi namandla atshaliwe: Abesifazane bavame ukubona ukuthi banikele iminyaka yokuphila kwabo ebuhlotsheni obungasebenzi kahle. Umuzwa wokumosha isikhathi namandla akho ungabhebhethekisa intukuthelo ejulile.
• Amathemba amanga nezithembiso eziphukile: Ubudlelwano be-Narcissistic buvame ukubonakala ngemijikelezo yezithembiso nokudumazeka. Ukuqaphela ukuthi lezi zithembiso zazingenalutho kungase kubangele umunyu ojulile.
• Ukungavumeleki ngokomzwelo: Abaphendukezeli be-Narcissistic bavame ukunciphisa noma ukuphika imizwa yomlingani wabo. Lokhu kungasebenzi njalo kungadala ukucasuka okuhlala njalo, ngisho nangemva kokuphela kobudlelwano.

Ukubonakaliswa kokucasuka kobudlelwane bangemva kwe-narcissistic

Ukucasuka kungazibonakalisa ngezindlela ezahlukene kwabesifazane abasinde ebuhlotsheni nomuntu ophendukezela i-narcissistic:

1. Ukukhathazeka nokukhathazeka: Imicabango ekhathazayo mayelana nozakwethu wangaphambili kanye nemicimbi edlule ijwayelekile. Isisulu singase sichithe amahora amaningi sidlala ngokwengqondo izigcawu zobudlelwane, okubhebhethekisa ukucasuka kwaso.
2. Isifiso sokuphindiselela: Isifiso esinamandla sokubona u-narcissist “ekhokha” ngezenzo zakhe singase sikhule. Lesi sifiso sokuziphindiselela singaba yinto ehlala imatasa, sivimbele isisulu ukuba siqhubekele phambili.
3. Kunzima ukungena yekela : Kungagcina isisulu siboshwe ngokomzwelo ebudlelwaneni obudlule. Lobu bunzima bokudedela bungaphazamisa ikhono lokwakha ubudlelwano obusha obunempilo.
4. Ukugxeka nokungathembi: Ukuzizwisa nge-narcissistic pervert kungaholela ekuzisoleni okujulile ebudlelwaneni ngokujwayelekile. Ukungathembi izinhloso zabanye kuvame ukuba yisithiyo esivikelayo, kodwa esizihlukanisayo.

Imiphumela yesikhathi eside yokucasuka

Uma lo muzwa ungalungiswa, ungaba nemithelela ebalulekile ezimpilweni zabesifazane abasinde ebuhlotsheni be-narcissistic:

• Umthelela empilweni yengqondo: Ukucasuka okungapheli kungabangela ukukhathazeka nokucindezeleka. Kungakhulisa izimpawu ze- ukucindezeleka kwangemva kokuhlukumezeka okuhlobene nokuxhashazwa ngokuzikhukhumeza.
• Izithiyo ekwelapheni: Kungavimbela isisulu ukuba sigxile ekwelapheni nasekukhuleni kwakhe siqu. Kugcina isisulu sisesimweni esibi somqondo, sivimbele ikhono laso lokuqhubekela phambili.

• Imithelela ebudlelwaneni obuzayo: Ubunzima bokwethembana bungenza kube nzima ukwakha ubudlelwano obusha, obunempilo. Ingase ibe nomthelela ngokungazi ekusebenzelaneni nabanye, idale amaphethini obudlelwano ayinkinga.

• Umthelela wokuzethemba: Ukucasuka njalo kungase kuqede ukuzethemba, kuqinise ukungabaza okutshalwe umgadli. Kungavimbela isisulu ekuboneni ukubaluleka kwaso namandla.

Ubukhulu besikhashana bokucasuka

Intukuthelo inobudlelwano obukhethekile nesikhathi, obuyihlukanisa kweminye imizwa yangemva kobudlelwane:

• Ukwandiswa kokuhlupheka: Ngenkathi ubuhlobo buphelile, ukucasuka kugcina ukuhlupheka kusebenza. Kwakha uhlobo lwesibopho esingokomzwelo esiqhubekayo nomhlukumezi, ngisho nalapho bengekho.

• Ukuhlanekezelwa kombono wesikhathi: Ukucasuka kungaholela ekugxiliseni ngokweqile esikhathini esidlule. Kungakha umbono wokuthi isikhathi simile, kuvimbele ukuqagela esikhathini esizayo.

• Umjikelezo wokuziphakela: Uma isikhathi sihamba, intukuthelo iyanda uma ingalungiswa. Lokhu kukhuliswa kungakha umjikelezo lapho okwamanje kuhlala kunombala ngenxa yobuhlungu besikhathi esidlule.

Ukucasuka njengendlela yokuzivikela

Okudidayo ukuthi, ukucasuka kwesinye isikhathi kungadlala indima yokuvikela ngokwengqondo kuzisulu zama-narcissistic perverts:

• Ukugcina uhlobo lokulawula: Ukucasuka kungase kunikeze umbono ongaqondile wokulawula isimo. Kungabonakala njengendlela “yobulungisa” yomuntu siqu lapho ebhekene nokungajeziswa okubonwayo kwe-narcissist.

• Ukuvikelwa ekulimaleni okuzayo: Ukucasuka kungase kusebenze njengesithiyo esingokomzwelo, sigcine ubudlelwano obungase bube sengozini busondele. Kungabonakala njengendlela “yokungakhohlwa” izifundo ezibuhlungu ezitholiwe.

• Ukulondolozwa kobunikazi: Kwezinye izisulu, ukucasuka kungase kube ingxenye ebalulekile yobunikazi babo bangemva kobudlelwane. Kungaba yisikhumbuzo esiqhubekayo sesimo sabo “sosindile”, noma ngabe kuphazamisa ukuqhubeka kwabo.

Isimo senhlalo sokucasuka

Ukucasuka phakathi kwabesifazane izisulu zama-narcissistic perverts ayikhawulelwe kumkhakha womuntu, kodwa ingaba nemiphumela ebalulekile yomphakathi:

1. Ukuzihlukanisa emphakathini: Ukucasuka kungase kuholele ekubeni umuntu oyedwa, ngenxa yokwesaba ukuphinde alinyazwe noma aqondwe kabi. Kungakha umgoqo ongabonakali phakathi kwesisulu nalabo abasizungezile, ngisho nabanomusa.
2. Ukuntula ukuqonda kulabo abaseduze kwakho: Ukuqina nobude bokucasuka kungaba nzima ukuthi bakuqonde. Lokhu kungadala ukungezwani ebunganini nasebudlelwaneni bomndeni, kukhulise umuzwa wokuzihlukanisa.
3. Umthelela empilweni yobungcweti: Ukucasuka kungathinta ukugxilisa ingqondo nokukhiqiza emsebenzini. Kungaba nomthelela omubi ekusebenzelaneni kochwepheshe, okungase kuthiye ukuthuthuka komsebenzi.

Ireferensi yezincwadi mayelana nokucasuka

• U-Nietzsche, F. (1887). I-Zur Genealogie der Moral (Uhlu Lozalo Lokuziphatha). Leipzig: CG Naumann.
• Scheler, M. (1912). I-Das Resentiment im Aufbau der Moralen (Ukucasuka ekwakhiweni kokuziphatha). I-Frankfurt am Main: Klostermann.
• Meltzer, B.N., & Musolf, G.R. (2002). Ukucasuka kanye Nokucasuka. I-Sociological Enquiry, 72(2), 240-255.
• Fassin, D. (2013). Mayelana Nokucasuka kanye Nokuzola: Ipolitiki kanye Nezimiso Zokuziphatha Zemizwelo Yokuziphatha. I-Anthropology Yamanje, 54(3), 249-267.
• Angenot, M. (1996). Imibono yokucasuka. I-Montreal: Umshicileli we-XYZ.
• Rey, J.-M. (2000). Ukucasuka: indaba yothando. I-Paris: I-Éditions du Seuil.
• U-Ferro, M. (2007). Ukucasuka Emlandweni: Ukuqonda Izikhathi Zethu. EParis: Odile Jacob.

Isiphetho

Ukucasuka kuwumzwelo oyinkimbinkimbi futhi ojulile ongaba nomthelela ohlala njalo kokuhlangenwe nakho kwabesifazane abasinde ebuhlotsheni nomuntu ohlanekezelekayo we-narcissistic. Nakuba kuqondakala, lo mzwelo obeleselayo ungaba nemiphumela ebalulekile empilweni yengqondo yezisulu, ubudlelwano, kanye nezinga lempilo lilonke.

Ukuqonda izimpande, ukubonakaliswa kanye nemiphumela yokucasuka kuyisinyathelo esibalulekile kwabesifazane abafuna ukuzakha kabusha ngemva kokuhlangenwe nakho okubuhlungu okunjalo. Ukuqaphela umehluko phakathi kwentukuthelo efanelekile kanye nentukuthelo elimazayo kungavula indlela yenqubo yokuphulukisa ephumelela kakhudlwana futhi uphinde ukwazi ukulawula ukuphila komuntu ngokomzwelo.