Ukukhulelwa ngesikhathi sokukhulelwa nomuntu othanda ukuzitika ngokweqile: ukuziphatha, izingozi kanye nokuvikelwa

Ukukhulelwa kufanele kube yisikhathi lapho uzizwa uzungezwe, uvikelekile, futhi ufunwa. Kodwa-ke, kwabesifazane abaningi abasebudlelwaneni nabahlukumezi abazikhukhumezayo, kuphambene kakhulu: isikhathi lapho ubudlelwano buba nzima. Amazwi abuhlungu ayanda, kungena ukunganaki, futhi ngezinye izikhathi nokwesaba.

Uma ukhulelwe futhi ungasamazi umlingani wakho, noma ngokuphambene nalokho, uma umqaphela kahle kakhulu, lesi sihloko singesakho. Sizokusiza uqonde okwenzekayo, uthole izimpawu eziyisixwayiso, futhi ubeke isivikelo esiqinile endaweni yakho kanye nengane yakho.

Kungani ukukhulelwa kushintsha ubudlelwano nomuntu ohlukumezayo

Umuntu othanda ukuzikhukhumeza udinga ukuba yisizinda sokunaka. Ukunaka kwakho, amandla, kanye nokunconywa “kumelwe” ngandlela thile kuye. Ukukhulelwa kuphazamisa lokhu kulinganisela.

• Awusatholakali ngokugcwele. Ukukhathala, isicanucanu, ukubonana nodokotela: umzimba nengqondo yakho kumatasa ngento ehlukile kuwe.
• Labo abakuzungezile baphendukela kuwe. Abathandekayo bayakuhlola, bakuhalalisele, futhi bakuvikele. Akaseyona indawo yokunaka.
• Kufika okwesithathu. Ingane engakazalwa ibhekwa njengembangi kunokuba ibhekwe njengesidalwa okufanele sivikelwe.
• Uba ngumuntu othembela kakhulu kwabanye. Ngokwezimali, ngokomzimba, ngokomzwelo, ukukhulelwa kungakwenza ube sengozini enkulu. Umuntu okhohlisayo ukuzwisisa kahle lokhu.

Ngakho-ke akulona iphutha ukuthi izisulu eziningi zithi “konke kwashintsha” lapho kumenyezelwa ukukhulelwa. Kwezinye izimo, ukukhulelwa kuza ngemuva kwesigaba sokucabanga kahle futhi kusebenza “ukubopha” umlingani, ngaphambi kokuba kuqale ukwehla kwenani.

Ukuziphatha okuvamile ngesikhathi sokukhulelwa

Isimo ngasinye sihlukile, kodwa ukuziphatha okuthile kuvame ukwenzeka.

Ukunganaki noma ukungabi nandaba

Akafiki ku-ultrasound, akabuzi mibuzo, futhi ushintsha indaba uma ukhuluma ngomntwana. Noma, ngokuphambene nalokho, ubonisa isithakazelo emphakathini, ngenxa yokubonakala.

Ukugxekwa komzimba wakho

“Usuzuze amakhilogremu amangaki?” “Awusenzi mzamo.” Umzimba wakho oshintshayo uba yisisulu. Lawa mazwi ayingxenye yendlela yokuphila ukwehla okuhlose ukuzethemba kwakho.

Ukunciphisa izidingo zakho

Ubuhlungu bakho bubhekwa “njengezinhlungu,” ukukhathala kwakho “njengobuvila.” Usolwa ngokweqisa ukuze uthole ukunakwa. Abanye besifazane bayayeka ngisho nokufuna usizo lwezokwelapha ngoba besaba ukuhlekwa usulu.

Ukuthula nokuhoxa

Uyanyamalala ubusuku bonke, ayeke ukuphendula, futhi akujezise ngokuthula. Le ndlela ichazwe kabanzi esihlokweni sethu mayelana ukwelashwa buthule.

Ukulawula

Unquma ngokunakekelwa kwakho kwezokwelapha, ukuphuma kwakho, izindleko zakho, nokuthi ubani ozombona. Angaphinde acindezele ukuthi uzoqhubeka yini nokukhulelwa noma cha.

Ukwanda kobudlova

Kwezinye izimo, ukuhlukumeza ngamazwi kuba ngokomzimba noma ngokocansi. Akukaze kube “yinto eyenzeka kanye nje.” Uma ubona ukuphathwa kabi, izinsongo, noma izinto eziphukile, funda isihloko sethu mayelana umuntu ophambukile onobudlova oziqhenya ngokweqile futhi uthathe lezi zimpawu ngokungathi sína.

Izingozi kuwe nakumntanakho

Ubudlova basekhaya ngesikhathi sokukhulelwa akuyona into encane.I-World Health Organization Kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuthi ubudlova obuhambisana nomlingani bunemiphumela emibi empilweni yabesifazane engokomzimba, engqondweni, ngokocansi kanye nokuzala.

Ukuhlanganiswa kwezincwadi ezishicilelwe ku- Ijenali Yezempilo Yabesifazane (Alhusen et al., 2015) ihlobanisa lezi zenzo zobudlova nezingozi ezengeziwe kumama (ukucindezeleka, ukucindezeleka, ukunakekelwa okunganele kokubeletha) kanye nosana olusanda kuzalwa (ukuzalwa ngaphambi kwesikhathi, isisindo esiphansi sokuzalwa).

Udlame olungokwengqondo nalo lubalulekile. Ukucindezeleka okungapheli, ukwesaba okuqhubekayo, kanye nokuzihlukanisa kulimaza impilo yakho kanye nekhono lakho lokuzinakekela. Akudingeki ulinde ukuhlukunyezwa ngokomzimba ukuze ube nelungelo lokusiza.

Uhlu Lokuhlola: Ukuzivikela ngesikhathi sokukhulelwa

Nazi izinyathelo ezithile eziqondile. Akudingeki wenze konke ngesikhathi esisodwa: khetha lokho ongakwenza namuhla.

1. Khuluma nombelethisi wakho, udokotela wezifo zabesifazane, noma udokotela. La Iziphathimandla Eziphakeme Zezempilo Kunconywa ukuthi ochwepheshe bezempilo babuze zonke iziguli ngodlame ngendlela ehlelekile. Ungayiphakamisa wena le ndaba: baboshwe yimfihlo yezokwelapha.
2. Cela ingxoxo ngaphambi kokubeletha. Yisikhathi sokuxoxa nombelethisi noma udokotela, lapho ungaxoxa khona ngesimo sakho sempilo, hhayi nje ngempilo yakho yomzimba.
3. Gcina ukuxhumana okungenani nomuntu oyedwa omethembayo. Umngane, udadewethu, isihlobo. Cabanga ukuvumelana ngegama eliyimfihlo elizobonisa ingozi.
4. Gcina amadokhumenti akho ephephile. Ikhadi lomazisi, ikhadi lomshuwalense wezempilo, incwajana yokubeletha, incwadi yamarekhodi omndeni, izitatimende zasebhange: yenza amakhophi azo bese uziphathisa umuntu omethembayo.
5. Gcina amarekhodi. Imiyalezo, ama-imeyili, izithombe, izitifiketi zezokwelapha, amanothi anosuku. Zigcine kude naye.
6. Thola ulwazi ngamalungelo akho. Ezimweni zobudlova, ijaji lenkantolo yomndeni lingakhipha isinqumo umyalelo wokuvikelwakufaka phakathi ngaphambi kokuba kufakwe noma yisiphi isikhalazo, kanye nezinyathelo ezinjengokususa umlingani ohlukumezayo ekhaya.
7. Lungisa uhlelo lokuhamba, noma ngabe awuhambi manje. Ukuya kuphi, nobani, nokuthi yini. Izinhlangano ezikhethekile zingakusiza ukuthi wakhe.
8. Cabanga ngalokho okwenzekayo ngemva kokuzalwa. Isikhathi sangemva kokubeletha naso siyingozi. Hlela ukwesekwa okuseduze nawe phakathi namasonto ambalwa okuqala.

Futhi ngemva kokuzalwa?

Abesifazane abaningi banethemba lokuthi ukubeletha “kuzolungisa konke.” Ngezinye izikhathi kuyenzeka ukuthi ukuziphatha komlingani kushintshe isikhashana, ikakhulukazi lapho kukhona umndeni. Kodwa uma ubuhlobo babusekelwe ekulawuleni ngaphambi kokuzalwa, akuvamile ukuba bunyamalale ngemva kwalokho.

Ingane ingaba yisibambiso: into yokuziqhenya ngokuyibukisa, imbangi, noma indlela yokukulawula. Sizokhuluma ngalesi sihloko esibucayi esihlokweni sethu Kungani abantu abaziphatha kabi bengazithandi izingane zabofuthi uzothola ezinye izindlela zokuzivikela ku vikela indodakazi yami kuyise oqhoshayo.

Uma uzibuza ngephrofayela yomlingani wakho, isihloko sethu Umyeni wami ungumuntu othanda ukuzikhukhumeza. kuzokusiza ukuthi uhlole.

Ingabe kufanele uhambe ngesikhathi sokukhulelwa?

Ayikho impendulo eyodwa. Ukuhamba ukhulelwe kungabonakala kungenakunqotshwa: ukukhathala, imali, indawo yokuhlala, ukwesaba ukuphuca ingane uyise. Ukuhlala nakho kungaba yingozi.

Okubalulekile ukungabhekani nalesi sinqumo wedwa. Izinhlangano zokusekela izisulu ziyazazi lezi zimo. Zingakusiza ukuthi uhlole ingozi, uqonde amalungelo akho, futhi uthole indawo yokuhlala uma kudingeka. Iwebhusayithi kahulumeni i-arretonslesviolences.gouv.fr ibala oxhumana nabo abawusizo eduze kwakho.

Futhi khumbula: ukuvikela ingane yakho kuqala ngokuzivikela wena.

Uma ukungabaza kungena: ezinye izinkomba zakho

Ngesikhathi sokukhulelwa, ama-hormone, ukukhathala, nokukhathazeka ngezinye izikhathi kungaqinisa imizwa. Umlingani okhohlisayo usebenzisa lokhu kalula: “Ama-hormone akho,” “Ubona konke ngendlela engemihle.” Ugcina ungabaza ukwahlulela kwakho.

Imibuzo embalwa elula ingakusiza ukuthi ubone izinto ngokucacile:

• Ingabe ngizizwa ngiphephile noma ngingaphephile kangako uma esekhaya?
• Ngingalokotha yini ngimtshele uma ngingazizwa kahle, ngaphandle kokwesaba ukuthi uzosabela kanjani?
• Ingabe ngifihla izinto ezithile kubathandekayo bami ukuze ngibavikele, noma ukuze ngigweme ukuzizwa nginamahloni?
• Ingabe ngisazibona njengowesifazane engibe nguye kusukela ekuqaleni kobudlelwano?

Izimpendulo zakho akudingeki zibe ziphelele. Ziyindawo yokuqala yokukhuluma nochwepheshe noma umuntu omethembayo. Imizwa yakho ingase ibe namandla kakhulu njengamanje, kodwa isanikeza ulwazi olubalulekile ngalokho obhekene nakho.

Imibuzo Evame Ukubuzwa

Kungani umlingani wami eshintshile selokhu ngakhulelwa?

Ukukhulelwa kushintsha ukunaka kuwe kanye nengane, kukwenze uthembele kakhulu. Kumuntu onenkinga yobuntu obuzithanda ngokweqile, lokhu kushintsha kungabangela umona, ukunganaki, noma isidingo esikhulu sokulawula. Akulona iphutha lakho.

Ngingakhuluma nombelethisi wami ngobudlova?

Yebo. Ababelethisi nodokotela baqeqeshwe kulezi zindaba futhi baboshwe yimfihlo yobungcweti. Bangakuqondisa, bakunikeze isitifiketi sezokwelapha, futhi bakuxhumanise nezinhlangano ezifanele.

Ingabe umuntu othanda ukuzikhukhumeza angaba ubaba omuhle?

Angase abonise isithombe sikababa omuhle ezweni langaphandle. Kodwa indlela yokulawula neyokungabi nazwela ivame ukubonakala ebuhlotsheni bakhe nengane. Kunconywa ukuhlola kochwepheshe uma ukuhlukana sekuseduze.

Yini okufanele ngiyenze uma ngesaba ukuphepha kwami?

Uma kwenzeka ingozi esheshayo, shayela ku-17 noma ku-112. Ungathumela futhi umlayezo wombhalo ku-114. Ukuze uthole ukwesekwa kanye nesiqondiso, i-3919 imahhala, ayidalulwanga futhi iyatholakala amahora angama-24 ngosuku, izinsuku eziyi-24 ngesonto.

Ekuphethweni

Ukukhulelwa ngumuntu ohlukumezayo ozithanda ngokweqile kuvame ukusho ukuzwa injabulo yokulindela umntwana kanye nesizungu sobuhlobo obubuhlungu. La maqiniso amabili angahambisana. Unelungelo lokufuna usizo ngaphambi kokuba isimo sibe nzima kakhulu.

Zihlanganise nochwepheshe bezempilo, izinhlangano, kanye nabantu abathembekile. Futhi uma udinga isikhala ukuze uthole ukucaciseleka mayelana nokuhlangenwe nakho kwakho, ukwesekwa okuzinikele kwabahlukunyeziwe ingakusiza ngalokho.

Lesi sihloko asithathi indawo yokunakekelwa kwezokwelapha: umbelethisi wakho noma udokotela wakho uhlala engumuntu oyinhloko oxhumana naye. Ngezindaba zomthetho, cela iseluleko kummeli noma enhlanganweni. Uma kwenzeka ingozi: 3919 (Ulwazi Lobudlova Babesifazane), 17, noma 112.

Imithombo

• Igunya Eliphezulu Lezempilo (2019). Ukuhlonza abesifazane abayizisulu zodlame lwasekhaya.
• I-World Health Organization. Udlame olubhekiswe kwabesifazane (isikhumbuzo).
• U-Alhusen JL nabanye (2015). Udlame Lomlingani Oseduze Ngesikhathi Sokukhulelwa: Imiphumela Yomama Neyezingane Ezisanda KuzalwaIjenali Yezempilo Yabesifazane.
• Isevisi-public.fr. Isicelo ejajini lenkantolo yomndeni: ukukhishwa kwe-oda lokuvikelwa.

Izinombolo zocingo ezithi 17, 3114 no-3919 ezishiwo kuleli khasi zisebenza ezinsizeni zaseFrance.