Ungakhohlwa kanjani i-Narcissistic Pervert? 5 Amathiphu

Uma usebudlelwaneni nomuntu ophendukezela i-narcissistic, yonke into izungeza kuye. Kuyadida futhi kuqeda amandla. Ngolunye usuku, unquma ukuhamba. Nakuba lesi kuyisikhathi esijabulisayo lapho uhamba ngendlela eqondile, kunenkathi enzima yokulungisa ngokushesha ngemva kokuhlukana nodokotela oyi-narcissist.
Ukuthi ukuphathisa okodoti akusho ukuthi kulula ukumkhipha. Lolu hlobo lokuhlukana ngokuvamile lungenye yezinto okunzima kakhulu ukuzinqoba. Ngakho-ke nansi indlela yokukhohlwa umphendukezeli we-narcissistic, unomphela.

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Ungakhohlwa kanjani i-Narcissistic Pervert? 5 amathiphu

Kungase kube nzima ukukhohlwa i-PN, kodwa amathiphu angezansi angasiza:

1. Misa Ukulungisa

Kucishe kungenzeki ukuzama ukuba nobudlelwano ne-narcissist. Ngakho-ke uchithe isikhathi esiningi uhlaziya ukuziphatha kwakhe nomlingiswa wakhe ukuze uzame ukuqonda amabhola ejika abelokhu ewajikijela ngendlela yakho. Ngemva kokushiya ubudlelwano bakho obuhlukumezayo, le phethini evamile yokuhlaziya izoqhubeka uze uyiphoqe ukuthi imise.

Ngaso sonke isikhathi uma ucabanga ukuthi yini engalungile nge-ex yakho, zikhumbuze ukuthi awusenandaba nalowo muntu futhi ngomusa ukhuthaze ingqondo yakho ukuba icabange ngenye into. Kwenze futhi futhi. Iningi longoti lithi kuthatha izinyanga ezintathu ukushintsha umkhuba.

2. Gwema ukuzama ukuthethelela ukuziphatha kwabo

Ukuze udlule kukho konke lokhu, bekufanele ubeke izaba ngokuziphatha kwakhe, unciphise ukuhlukumeza kwakhe, uchaze kabusha amanga akhe, kanye nokukhuluma amazwibela eduze nokukhohlisa kwakhe ukuze ugcine ukuthula futhi ulungise ukuhlala naye. Uma uzikhumbula manje – futhi uzokwenza – uzoqala ukucabangela futhi, uthi, “O, azikubi kangako.”

Ungaweli ngakho. Qhubeka uzikhumbuza ukuthi kungani ushiye ukuze ugweme ukusetshenziswa yi-ex yakho ye-narcissistic noma, okubi nakakhulu, ugcine uthandana nabo futhi.

Indlela engcono kakhulu yokufeza lokhu ukugcina ukungabikho kokuxhumana. Ungafoni, ungathumeli imiyalezo, futhi umvale ezinkundleni zokuxhumana. Kunesizathu sokuthi umthetho wokungathintani uyiseluleko esinikezwa ochwepheshe abaningi.

3. Thola izindlela zokubhekana nokukhathazeka kwakho

I-narcissist yakho kungenzeka ikugcine usonqenqemeni izinyanga noma iminyaka, futhi isimiso sakho sezinzwa cishe sisasebenza ngaleyo ndlela. Ukushiya kungase futhi kubangele ukucindezeleka okusha noma ukwesaba, okwenza ukukhathazeka kwakho kube kubi nakakhulu. Ngaphezu kwakho konke lokho, ubulili bumile, futhi awusenayo i-dopamine ne-oxytocin eyasiza ukugcina ikhanda lakho lingaphezu kwamanzi.

Phefumula kancane futhi ujule, yenza i-yoga, umdanso, ukubhukuda nezinye izinhlobo zokuzivocavoca. Yenza okuthile nsuku zonke, noma nini lapho udinga ukukwenza.

4. Zigcine umatasa ukuze ukhohlwe umuntu ohlanekezela ama-narcissistic

Nge ama-narcissistic perverts, ubuhlobo buhlala bumayelana namandla. Banayo, awunayo. Uphuma endleleni yakho ukuze uzame ukwenza yonke into ibe ngokwejwayelekile, kodwa awufiki lapho ngoba bafuna ukuthi uqhubeke nokuphithizela, ukuze bakwazi ukudonsa iketango lakho noma nini lapho bezwa khona.

Lokho kuzwakala kungathandeki ngempela, futhi kwakunjalo, kodwa kwagcwalisa isikhathi. Manje njengoba kungekho muntu owenza lokhu, kunesikhala esikhulu ezinsukwini zakho. Impilo ayisajabulisi.

Ukuze ubhekane nalesi simo, qhubeka uzama izithakazelo ezintsha kanye nemisebenzi, futhi wenze umzamo wokuhlala uthintana nabangane bakho ngangokunokwenzeka. Lapho uhlezi ekhaya, zindla ukuze uzolise ingqondo yakho. Yazi ukuthi awudingi ukuthi uhlale ubheka ukugcwaliseka ngaphandle; ungakuthola ngaphakathi kwakho.

5. Ungazibeki icala

Manje njengoba usukwazi ukubona ngokucacile i-ex yakho ngenxa ye-narcissistic pervert eyayiyikho futhi uqaphele ukuthi amaphethini owawubambe iqhaza kuwo ayengenampilo kangakanani, cishe uzizwa unamahloni ngokuvumela uboya budonswe phezu kwamehlo akho isikhathi eside. Ungase uzibuze ukuthi kwenzeka kanjani ukuba ube “yizithutha,” “isiphukuphuku,” noma “ukukhohliseka”? Ungase uzizwe unamahloni ikakhulukazi lapho unamalungu omndeni noma abangane abazi kudala ngaphambi kokuba wenze kanjalo.

Zenzele umusa. Ama-Narcissistic perverts angochwepheshe ekuyengeni (umyengi okhohlakele), futhi ungumuntu nje. Ungase ube nezinkinga ezithile nge ukuthambekela kokuxhumana kanye nokuzethemba okuzodinga ukukuhlola uma usesendaweni engcono, kodwa okwamanje, zixolele.

Yazi ukuthi ubumsulwa bakho yinto enhle. Kusho ukuthi unenhliziyo evulekile futhi eyethembayo, okuyinkinga kumlingani wakho omubi we-narcissistic.

6 Imikhuba eyenziwa yi-PN uma unquma ukumshiya

Nazi izindlela zokuziphatha ze-PN uma unquma ukuzishiya:

1. Ukuphika nokuhlukunyezwa

Uma unquma ukusika zonke izibopho futhi ukhohlwe ngomuntu onama-narcissist, empeleni ubatshela ukuthi, “Awubalulekile kimi, futhi ngeke uthole isabelo sakho sokunakwa kimi.” Lokhu kuyinto umuntu ophendukezela i-narcissistic angeke akwazi ukukwamukela. Ngakho-ke, uzoyishaya indiva imingcele yakho (njengoba ayenzile esikhathini esidlule) futhi angakunaki ngokuphelele ukuthi kungenzeka ukuthi ungathintani. Okuwukuphela kwendlela yokulwa nalesi simo ukusiqinisa ngokungaxhumani nabo futhi sibavimbele kuzo zonke iziteshi zokuxhumana ezingaba khona.

2. Ukuphelelwa ithemba kuvela

Cishe kuzo zonke izimo, i-narcissistic pervert engaxhumani nawe incike ekuqhumeni amabhomu othandweni kanye nemizamo enzima yokukunqoba ukuze uthole ukunakwa obekulangazelela kuwe. Uma uzibuza ukuthi bayakukhumbula, bayakukhumbula, kodwa hhayi ngendlela enempilo. Bafuna ukubuyiselwa umthamo wabo wokudumisa, uthando nokutuswa, hhayi wena. Babethanda umqondo wokunconywa, hhayi wena. Ubudlelwano abashodayo, hhayi wena.

3. Intukuthelo enobudlova

Kuzo zonke izinto ezenziwa ama-narcisists uma uwashiya, lokhu kungase kube yiyona ebeka ukuphepha kwakho engozini kakhulu. Qiniseka ukuthi othile ongamethemba uyaziswa ngalesi simo, ukuze ube nomuntu othembele kuye uma kudingeka. Ukungaxhumani nabo futhi ukhohlwe umuntu ophendukezela i-narcissistic kungakubeka engozini, ikakhulukazi njengoba kulindeleke ukuthi babonakale endaweni yakho yokusebenza. Zilungiselele okubi kakhulu, qiniseka ukuthi impendulo isilungile.

4. Ukuzihlukumeza 

Ukuze uthole ukuzwelana kwakho nokwabanye, abahlanekezeli be-narcissistic bavame ukwamukela ukuziphatha kanye nemikhuba ebahlukumezayo. Baqamba izimo eziphuthumayo ukuze bathole uzwela lwakho. Leli iqhinga elivamile lokukhohlisa elisetshenziswa ama-PN ukuze akunxenxe ukuthi ubuyele ebudlelwaneni babo.

Njengoba sishilo, ukusabela kwe-narcissistic perverts ngokungabi bikho kwemingcele enobuthi. Ezimweni ezinjalo, kubalulekile ukwazi ukuthi kulungile ukungaphenduli lapho enza izimo eziphuthumayo noma ethi uyakudinga. Nakuba kulula ukuqonda ukuthi uzwela lungakubangela kanjani ukuba unqamule ukuxhumana, ama-narcissists avame ukuxhaphaza le nqubo ukuze akuhehe. Uzwelo kwakungeyona into ababeyifuna ekuqaleni.

5. Ukukhwabanisa nokukhanyisa igesi

La ukuxhaphaza futhi ukukhanyisa igesi amaqhinga ajwayelekile ozohlangana nawo uma ungasaxhumani ne-narcissist. Bezama ukuthola amandla phezu kwakho, bazozama ukuguqula isimo futhi bakuqinisekise ukuthi nguwe obenze okubi.

Uzosakaza amahlebezi ngawe, akwenze ubonakale njengomuntu omubi. Uma enikezwa ithuba, uzoveza iqiniso elisha lokuhlukumeza okubangele ukuba wenze ngale ndlela, futhi iqiniso lakhe ngokuvamile liyoba elomuntu ohlukunyeziwe.

Uma yenza imizwa yakho ingasebenzi futhi ipenda iqiniso elisha elihlukile kulokho okwenzekile, kubizwa nge-gaslighting. I-narcissist engathintani nayo ivamise ukusebenzisa le ndlela yokukhohlisa okunobuthi ukuze akunxenxe ukuthi ubuye.

6. Bangathola omunye umuntu

Ngokusho kwezinye izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo, akuthathi isikhathi eside ukuthi umuntu ophendukezelwe yi-narcissistic alulame ekuhlukaneni. Angase angabonakali lapho ematasa ngawe futhi ekubhoboza ngothando lwakhe, kodwa ekugcineni, kufanele athole ukulungiswa kwakhe endaweni ethile.

Umuntu ohlanekezela enganakile ngaphandle kokuthintana naye ufuna abanye abantu kuyilapho naye efuna lokho abekwazi nawe. I-PN ayithathi isikhathi eside ukululama lapho ubakhohlwa noma ubashiya, ngoba inkolelo yabo yokuba ngaphezu kwakho ibavimbela ngokoqobo ukuba bakuthathe njengokuyinqaba. Kodwa kuyadingeka ukwazi ukuthi i-PN isahlushwa ukuhlukana.

Ingabe u-FN angashiya isisulu sakhe?

Uma engasakudingi ukuthi udlise i-ego yakhe, i-narcissistic pervert iyakuqeda futhi ikushiye. Ngokunjalo, uma uthatha isinqumo sokuzimela, ubeke imingcele, futhi ucele ukubuyisana, i-narcissist izokwenqaba ngaphandle kokuxolisa, uzwela, noma ukuzisola.

Nokho, isigaba sokulahlwa ngokuvamile asisho ukuthi useqedile ngawe, njengoba ama-narcissists evame ukuphinda lo mjikelezo wokukhohlisa nokuhlukumeza.

Kungani ngisakwazi ukukhohlwa umlingani wami wangaphambili we-Narcissistic Pervert?

Ukuqomisana nomuntu ophendukezela i-narcissistic kungadala izinkinga eziningi. Nokho abantu abaningi bakhangwa ubudlelwano be-narcissistic. Ucwaningo luye lwabonisa ukuthi ama-FN afiseleka kakhulu futhi akhanga njengabangaba ozakwethu. Nokho ngisho nangemva kobudlelwano obunzima, kungaba nzima ukushiya i-narcissist. Singase sibe nomuzwa wokuthi sishiya ingxenye yethu uma sishiya ubuhlobo. Uma sebeyisizinda somhlaba wethu, singazizwa silahlekile ngaphandle kwabo.

Izinkomba ze-bibliographic zokukhohlwa umphendukezeli we-narcissistic

Nazi izikhombo zebhayibheli eziyisikhombisa ezikhuluma ngendikimba ethi “Ungakhohlwa kanjani umuntu ophendukezela i-narcissistic? » :

1. U-Cadiou, M. (2014). “Impetha ye-narcissistic. Indlela yokuyisusa? » Ingxoxo, 2014/3 (no. 205), kk. 85-90.
2. Korff-Sausse, S. (2003). “Umfazi we-narcissistic pervert.” Ijenali yesiFulentshi yePsychoanalysis, 2003/3 (Umqulu 67), kk. 925-942.
3. Cardot, P., & Six, C. (2017). “Ebusweni bokuhlanekezelwa: phunyuka ekubambeni kwayo futhi uthole ukuma okufanele? » IGestalt, 2017/1 (no. 51), kk. 53-65.
4. U-Eiguer, A. (2008). “I-Narcissistic perversion, umqondo oguqukayo”. Ulwazi Lwezengqondo, 2008/3 (Umqulu 84), kk. 193-199.
5. Ksensée, A. (2003). “I-Hysteria ne-perversion: i-narcissistic pervert”. Ijenali yesiFulentshi yePsychoanalysis, 2003/3 (Umqulu 67), kk. 943-958.
6. Wagner, C. (2012). “Ubudlelwano bento ekuphendukeni kwe-narcissistic. Ukusekelana: ukudiliza omunye”. Ulwazi Lwezengqondo, 2012/1 (Umqulu 88), kk. 21-28.
7. Balier, C. (1976). “Ukuhlanekezela kwe-Narcissistic ezikhungweni ze-psycho-geriatric: izinkinga zomtholampilo nezikhungo”. I-Psychotherapies, 2017/1 (Umqulu 37), kk. 45-54.

Lezi zithenjwa zinikeza ukuqonda okujulile kwezinqubo zokuhlanekezelwa kwe-narcissistic namasu okuzikhulula kukho.

Isiphetho

Ukugqashula ekubanjweni ngumuntu ohlukumezayo ozithanda ngokweqile kuyindlela enzima, kodwa akuyona into engenakwenzeka. Ngokusebenzisa amasu aqondile ukuze hlukana ngokuphelele Ngokwakha kabusha ibhalansi yakho yemizwa, kancane kancane ungaphinde uthole ukuzimela kwakho nokuthula. Into ebaluleke kakhulu ukuhlala unesineke futhi ubeke inhlalakahle yakho phambili kulo lonke lolu hlelo.

Ukuze uxhumane: Ungakhuluma kanjani ne-narcissistic pervert?