Wake wazizwa uvaleleke ebudlelwaneni obukuqeda amandla? Mhlawumbe uzizwa sengathi uhlala upha ngaphandle kokuthola lutho njengembuyiselo? Uma lezi zimo zihambisana nawe, kungenzeka ukuthi ubhekene nomuntu onezimpawu zobuntu obungalawuleki. Kodwa ungakhathazeki, kunezixazululo zokudlula kulokhu, futhi esinye sazo singase sibe umlaza womndeni.
Uyini umlaza womndeni?
Umlaza womndeni uyindlela yokwelapha ekuvumela ukuthi uhlole ukuguquguquka komndeni kanye nobudlelwano. Kusekelwe esimisweni sokuthi ukuziphatha kwethu kanye nobunzima bethu bamanje kungathonywa amaphethini omndeni adluliselwa ezizukulwaneni ngezizukulwane. Ngokubamba iqhaza ku-constellation yomndeni, ungakwazi ukuqaphela lawa maphethini futhi uqale ukuwaguqula.
Umlaza womndeni ungakusiza kanjani ukuthi ubhekane ne-narcissistic pervert?
Uma usebudlelwaneni nomuntu onama-narcissistic, ungasheshe ulahlekelwe ukuzethemba futhi uzizwe udidekile. Umlaza womndeni ungakusiza:
UCristina unikeza iseshini yomuntu ngamunye ukukusiza uphume ekulawulweni okuhlukumezayo futhi wakhe impilo yakho kabusha.
- Ukubuyela ekuxhumaneni nezidingo zakho nezifiso zakho
- Qonda ukuguquguquka kobudlelwano okukulethe kulesi simo
- Qinisa imingcele yakho yemizwa
- Yakha isithombe sakho sokuzibona esihle futhi esizimele.
Ukuqhubeka kweseshini yomlaza womndeni
Eseshini, uzosebenza nomsizi kanye neqembu labantu. Nansi indlela okwenzeka ngayo ngokuvamile:
- Uyayiveza inkinga yakho
- Ukhetha abameleli babantu ababalulekile empilweni yakho
- Abameleli bazibeka ngendlela enembile emkhathini
- Umgqugquzeli uqondisa inqubo yokuveza amandla afihliwe
- Izixazululo zivela ngokwemvelo, okuvumela ukuhlelwa kabusha kwesistimu
Imilaza yomndeni eku-inthanethi: indlela emisha enamabhokisi ephepha
Imilaza yomndeni ijwayelana nenkathi yedijithali, inikela ngethuba lokuqhuba izikhathi eziku-inthanethi ezisebenza ngempumelelo njengawo mathupha. Indlela ethakazelisayo ikakhulukazi isebenzisa amabhokisi amakhadibhodi alula. Lokhu kuhloswe ukumela amalungu omndeni noma izingxenye zeqoqo lezinkanyezi. Nansi indlela esebenza ngayo:
- Ukulungiselela: Ngaphambi kweseshini ye-inthanethi, lungiselela amabhokisi amaningana ephepha anosayizi ofanayo. Ungasebenzisa amashidi angu-A4 asongwe abe yisigamu noma izingcezu zekhadibhodi.
- Ukumelwa: Bhala ekhadini ngalinye igama noma indima yomuntu noma ingxenye elimele kumlaza womndeni wakho.
- Setha: Beka lawa mabhokisi phansi endaweni ebonakalayo kukhompuyutha yakho noma ikhamera ye-smartphone. Ukuhlelwa kokuqala kungase kube okunembile noma kuqondiswe umsizi.
- Ukuhlola: Phakathi neseshini, ungahambisa amabhokisi ngokwemizwa yakho noma iziyalezo zomfundisi. Lokhu kunyakaza kwembula ukuguquguquka kobudlelwane ngaphakathi kwesistimu yakho yomndeni.
- Ukubhekwa: Umsizi uzokuqondisa ukuthi ubheke futhi uhumushe ukuma nokunyakaza kwamabhokisi, njengakuqoqo lwezinkanyezi olubhekene ubuso nobuso.
- Zizwe: Noma ukude, ungazibeka ebhokisini ngalinye ukuze uzwe amandla nemizwa ehlotshaniswa nendawo ngayinye.
Le ndlela ye- umlaza womndeni ku-inthanethi ngamabhokisi wephepha kunikeza izinzuzo ezimbalwa:
- Ikuvumela ukuthi udale izinkanyezi zomndeni kusuka ekunethezekeni kwekhaya lakho.
- Igcina isici esibonakalayo nesikhala esibalulekile kumaqoqo ezinkanyezi omndeni.
- Inikeza ukuguquguquka okukhulu, okuvumela ukulungisa okulula phakathi neseshini.
- Kwenza izinkanyezi zomndeni zifinyeleleke, kungakhathaliseki indawo okuyo.
Njengomsizi wezinkanyezi zomndeni onesipiliyoni, ngingakuqondisa ngempumelelo kule nqubo eku-inthanethi. Lokhu kungakuvumela ukuthi uzuze ngokugcwele ekuqondeni nasekuphulukisweni okulethwa amaqoqo ezinkanyezi omndeni, noma ukude.
Umlaza womndeni: indlela yokwelapha eguqulayo
La Umlaza womndeni, obizwa nangokuthi Umlaza wesistimu nowomndeni uyindlela yokwelapha eyakhiwe yi UBert Hellinger ngawo-1990. Kusivumela ukuthi sikukhanyisele mayelana nokuguquguquka kokungazi kanye nokuvinjwa kwemizwelo okuzuzwe njengefa ohlelweni lwethu lomndeni. Noma ngabe ku ngamunye noma phakathi Esimisweni seshabhu yeqembu, le ndlela ihlinzeka nge-lever enamandla yokuguqulwa kwangaphakathi.
ngaphezulu Uyini ngempela umlaza womndeni? Kuyindlela ye-psychotherapeutic lapho iklayenti libona ngeso lengqondo noma lilingisa, lisebenzisa imifanekiso, abameleli, noma nje ngemizwa yabo, ubudlelwano phakathi kwamalungu omndeni wabo (abazali, ogogo nomkhulu, izingane zakubo, njll.). Umgomo uwukwenza kubonakale amathonya avame ukungazi lutho angathinta impilo yethu yengqondo, izinqumo zokuphila, noma ubudlelwano. Sivame ukusebenza nabo ingane yangaphakathi, umama, ubaba, futhi ngezinye izikhathi ngisho nezici ezingacacile ezifana nekusasa, ukuhlukumezeka noma izimfihlo zomndeni.
I-constellation yomndeni isebenza kanjani?
a Iseshini yomlaza womndeni ingenzeka ngeqembu noma ngawodwana. Ngamunye. Esilungiselelweni seqembu, iklayenti likhetha abantu abazomela amalungu omndeni walo. Ngamunye, umsebenzi ungenziwa ngemifanekiso, amahange aphansi, noma ngokubuka. Le ndlela ingasetshenziswa futhi ukude, ku-inthanethi. Okuningi nangaphezulu Abelaphi bezinkanyezi zomndeni banikeza izikhathi ngekholi yevidiyo noma mathupha.
Yiziphi izinzuzo zeqoqo lezinkanyezi lomndeni?
Phakathi kwe Phakathi kwezinzuzo zokwelashwa kwezinkanyezi zomndeni ukuqonda kangcono ubunzima bobudlelwane, ukukhululeka ngokomzwelo, ukucaca okukhulu kwangaphakathi, futhi ngezinye izikhathi imiphumela emihle empilweni noma ekwenzeni izinqumo. Ukwelapha okungase kuhambisane nezinye izindlela, njenge… psychology, i umsebenzi we-transgenerational, i ukwelapha amandla nomaukufunda izinkanyezi.
Intengo yomlaza womndeni
Le Intengo yomlaza womndeni iyahlukahluka kuye ngefomethi kanye nomelaphi. Kumaseshini angawodwana, inkokhelo imvamisa… Ama-euro ayi-100 ngeseshini ngayinye, njengoba kwenzeka U-Cristina Balan usebenza ne-dynamics yomndeni, ingane yangaphakathi, nezibalo zabazali ekusebenzeni kweklayenti. Intengo iyafana neyeseshini yokwelapha yendabuko. Ama-workshops eqembu asukela kuma-euro angama-80 kuye kwayi-150 ngeseshini yosuku oluyingxenye noma yosuku olugcwele.
Ungawenza kuphi umlaza womndeni? (IFrance, iSwitzerland, iBelgium, iQuebec, njll.)
Ungenza ifayela le- Umlaza womndeni ezindaweni eziningi: Umlaza womndeni eBordeaux EParis, I-Lyons, Nantes, Montpellier, I-Toulouse, I-Strasbourg, Grenoble, nice Marseilles, Intukuthelo, Ukuvakasha, Caen, Besançon, eClermont-Ferrand, La Rochelle, Bayonne, I-Perpignan, Brussels, Geneva, noma ngisho phakathi Montreal futhi eQuebec. Kukhona nabasebenzi abaningi be-inthanethi, okuhlanganisa Ukuqeqeshwa komlaza womndeni kuyatholakala ukude. Kuzo zonke izimo, lapho ubhukha i-aphoyintimenti kuwebhusayithi yethu, ukwelashwa kwenzeka ku-inthanethi.
Ukuqeqeshwa komlaza womndeni
Uma ufuna ukuba osebenza ezinkanyezini zomndeni, eziningana Izifundo zokuqeqesha izinkanyezi zomndeni zinikezwa eParis, eLyon, eRennes, eGrenoble, eMontpellier, eNantes, eToulouse, eBordeaux, nakwezinye izindawo. I-Brittany, iSwitzerland, noma iBelgium. Abanye bayakufanelekela I-CPF. Ezinye izikole nazo zinikeza izifundo eziku-inthanethi, kwesinye isikhathi ngezitifiketi. Ungakwazi ukuqeqesha nabafundisi ezifana Michelle Duhamel, UMichel Diviné, Frédérique Isnard, noma ngisho Jodorowsky, owasungula inguqulo engokomfanekiso futhi enembile yale ndlela.
Umlaza Womndeni: Ingozi Noma Ithuba?
Njenganoma iyiphi indlela yokwelapha, i Imilaza yemindeni ayinabo abagxeki bayo. Abanye bayakhuluma ingozi, kwe ihlelo, noma Kunezihibe ezingaba khona uma umkhuba ungalawulwa kahle. Ngakho-ke kubalulekile ukukhetha a Umelaphi oqotho, oqeqeshiwe ohlonipha ijubane leklayenti. Izibuyekezo ezingezinhle zikhona, kodwa kufanele zikalwe ngokuqhathanisa neziningi ezinhle. ukubuyekezwa okuhle futhi okuhlangenwe nakho okuguquguqukayo okuphilwa izinkulungwane zabantu emhlabeni jikelele.
Izinzuzo zesikhathi eside zeqoqo lezinkanyezi zomndeni
Ngokubamba iqhaza njalo kumaqoqo ezinkanyezi omndeni, ungaqaphela:
- Ukuziqonda kangcono wena nobudlelwano bakho
- Ikhono elikhulayo lokubeka imingcele enempilo
- Ukukhululwa emaphethini obudlelwano anobuthi
- Inzuzo yokuzethemba nokuzethemba
Ungahlanganisa kanjani umlaza womndeni ohambweni lwakho lokuphulukisa
Iqoqo lezinkanyezi lomndeni lingaba ithuluzi elinamandla, kodwa kubalulekile ukulisebenzisa ngaphezu kwezinye izindlela:
- Ukwelashwa komuntu ngamunye ukuze kusebenze ezindabeni zakho zomuntu siqu
- Amaqembu okusekela ukuxhumana nabanye abasezimeni ezifanayo
- Imikhuba yokuphila kahle njengokuzindla noma i-yoga ukuze uqinise ukuzinza kwakho
Isinyathelo esiya enkululekweni yemizwa
Iqoqo lezinkanyezi lomndeni lingaba isinyathelo esibalulekile ohambweni lwakho oluya ekuphileni okwanelisayo, okhululiwe ethonyeni lobudlelwano obunobuthi. Khumbula ukuthi ufanelwe ukujabula nokuthula. Zonke izinyathelo ezincane zibalulekile, futhi ngokuhamba kwesikhathi nokusekelwa, ungakha kabusha impilo ekufanele ngempela.
Zinakekele, uzibekezelele, futhi ungesabi ukucela usizo. Awuwedwa kulolu hambo, futhi ulindelwe ikusasa elizolile.
Izinkanyezi zomndeni: indlela yokuziphatha ekude nokweqisa kwamahlelo
Izinkanyezi zemikhaya ngezinye izikhathi ziba yisihloko semibuzo mayelana nemvelo yazo kanye nokusebenza kwazo. Kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuthi imilaza yemindeni yangempela, eholwa uchwepheshe oqeqeshiwe nonezimiso zokuziphatha, ayihlanganise lutho nokweqisa kwamahlelo. Ngokuphambene, le ndlela yokwelapha ihlonipha ngokujulile ubuntu kanye nokuzimela kweklayenti. Kuseshini yezinkanyezi zomndeni, sisebenza ngokukhethekile nenkundla yakho yomuntu siqu neyomndeni.
Njengomsizi womlaza womndeni, indima yami ukwakha indawo ephephile futhi ngikuqondise ngemibuzo efanele, ngaphandle kokubeka eyami incazelo. Ingqikithi yamaqoqo ezinkanyezi omndeni ukukuvumela ukuthi ufinyelele eyakho imininingwane neziphetho. Le ndlela egxile kumakhasimende, ewuphawu lwemilaza yemindeni enesimilo, iqinisekisa inqubo yokwelapha eyiqiniso neqondene nomuntu siqu, ukuphikiswa kwanoma yikuphi ukukhohlisa noma ukuchezuka kwehlelo. Izinkanyezi zemikhaya, ezenziwa ngobuqotho, ziyithuluzi elinamandla lokuphulukisa umndeni.
Ifilosofi yamaqoqo ezinkanyezi omndeni namaphayona ayo
Amaqoqo ezinkanyezi omndeni asekelwe kufilosofi ejulile eqaphela ukuxhumana kwamalungu omndeni ezizukulwaneni zonke. Le ndlela, eyasungulwa ngawo-1990 nguBert Hellinger, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo saseJalimane, sisekelwe embonweni wokuthi asizuzi nje kuphela izici zofuzo, kodwa futhi namaphethini angokomzwelo nobudlelwane okhokho bethu. Ifilosofi yamaqoqo ezinkanyezi omndeni ibeka ukuthi kukhona “ukwazi komndeni” okuhlangene okuthonya ukuziphatha kwethu nokukhetha kwethu ukuphila, ngokuvamile ngokungazi.
UBert Hellinger, obhekwa njengoyise wamaqoqo ezinkanyezi omkhaya, wahlanganisa amathonya ahlukahlukene endleleni yakhe yokwenza izinto, kuhlanganise nokwelashwa komkhaya okuhleliwe, isayensi yezinto ezenzekayo, nezici zamasiko ase-Afrika aziqaphela ngesikhathi somsebenzi wakhe wezithunywa zevangeli. Umsebenzi wakhe uthuthukiswe futhi wathuthukiswa abanye ochwepheshe abadumile abanjengalaba:
- UVirginia Satir, iphayona le-systemic therapy yomndeni, “izithombe zomndeni” zakhe zaba nomthelela ekuthuthukisweni kwamaqoqo ezinkanyezi.
- U-Ivan Boszormenyi-Nagy, owaletha umbono “wokwethembeka okungabonakali” ezinhlelweni zomndeni.
- UFrancesca Mason Boring, owahlanganisa ukuhlakanipha kwamasiko endabuko ekwenzeni imilaza.
- UStephan Hausner, owaziwa ngomsebenzi wakhe kumaqoqo ezinkanyezi omndeni maqondana nokugula nokwelapha.
Ifilosofi yezinkanyezi zomndeni isimema ukuthi sicabangele ukuthi ukuphulukiswa komuntu ngamunye kuvame ukubandakanya ukuqashelwa komndeni nokuxazulula izinkinga. Iqokomisa “imiyalo yothando”—izimiso uHellinger akholelwa ukuthi zibusa ubuhlobo bomndeni obunempilo: ilungelo lokuba ngowabanye, ibhalansi phakathi kokupha nokwamukela, kanye nezikhundla phakathi kwesimiso somndeni.
Ifilosofi yothando kumaqoqo ezinkanyezi omndeni
Enhliziyweni yezinkanyezi zomndeni kunefilosofi ejulile yothando, umqondo oyisisekelo oqondisa yonke inqubo yokuphulukisa. NgokukaBert Hellinger, uthando lungamandla ayinhloko ahlanganisa amalungu omndeni ndawonye, kodwa lolu thando ngezinye izikhathi lungabonakaliswa ngezindlela ezihlanekezelwe, ludale amaphethini obudlelwane obungasebenzi. Umsebenzi womlaza womndeni uhlose ukubuyisela ukugeleza kwemvelo kothando phakathi kwesistimu yomndeni, ngokuvumelana nalokho uHellinger akubiza ngokuthi “I-Orders of Love.”
Lezi Ziyalezo Zothando zihlanganisa izimiso ezintathu ezibalulekile:
- Ilungelo lokuba yilungu: Wonke amalungu omndeni anelungelo elingenakuphikwa lokuba yingxenye yohlelo, ngisho nalabo abakhishiwe noma abakhohliwe.
- Ibhalansi phakathi kokupha nokwamukela: Ebudlelwaneni obunempilo, kufanele kube nokulingana phakathi kwalokho okunikezwayo nalokho okwamukelwe.
- I-Pecking order: Kukhona ukuhleleka kwemvelo ezinhlelweni zomndeni, ngokusekelwe esikhathini sokungena ohlelweni. Ngokwesibonelo, abazali beza ngaphambi kwezingane.
Kuqoqo lezinkanyezi lomndeni, sisebenzela ukukhomba lapho le miyalo iphazamiseke khona futhi siphinde siyimise. Lokhu kungase kuhlanganise ukuqaphela amalungu omndeni akhishiwe. Bese uxazulula ukungalingani ebudlelwaneni obuphazanyiswe izehlakalo ezibuhlungu.
Ukubuyela emthethweni wothando kwenzeka ngezinqubo zokuqashelwa, inhlonipho nokubuyisana. Isibonelo, singasebenza kulokhu:
- Qaphela indawo yawo wonke umuntu esimisweni somndeni, kuhlanganise nalabo asebekhohliwe noma abanqatshiwe.
- Ukuhlonipha ubuhlungu nokuzinikela kwezizukulwane ezedlule.
- Ukukhulula ukwethembeka okungabonakali okusibophezela emaphethini omndeni angenampilo.
- Ukuveza imizwa engashiwongo noma ukwenza izenzo ezingokomfanekiso zokuphindisela.
Lo msebenzi usiza ekuvuleni ukugeleza kothando olwaluvimbekile, uvumela umuntu ngamunye ukuba athole ngokugcwele uthando lwamadlozi futhi aludlulisele ezizukulwaneni ezizayo. Ifilosofi yothando emikhakheni yezinkanyezi yomndeni isikhumbuza ukuthi, ngaphandle kwezingxabano nobuhlungu, kukhona uthando olujulile olusibophezela emndenini wethu.
Guqula izibopho ezinobuthi futhi ubonise uthando usebenzisa amaqoqo ezinkanyezi omndeni
Izinkanyezi zomndeni zinikeza ithuluzi elinamandla lokuguqula ubuhlobo obunobuthi, ikakhulukazi nabazali bethu, nokuvumela uthando lubonakale ngokukhululeka ezimpilweni zethu. Nakhu ukuthi le ndlela isebenza kanjani kulezi zici ezibalulekile zenhlalakahle yethu engokomzwelo:
Hlehlisa ubudlelwano obunobuthi nabazali
- Ukuqashelwa kwephethini: Izinkanyezi zisivumela ukuba sibone ngeso lengqondo futhi sazi amaphethini wobudlelwane anobuthi esiwuzuze njengefa kubazali bethu noma kokhokho bethu.
- Ukuqonda Kokuzwela: “Ngokumela” abazali bethu eqoqweni lezinkanyezi, singakwazi ukufinyelela umbono wabo, ngokuvamile siqonde okokuqala izinselele nokuhlukumezeka abahlangabezane nakho.
- Ukukhipha Ukwethembeka Okungabonakali: Sihlonza futhi sikhulule ukwethembeka okuqulekile okusigcina kumaphethini anobuthi ngomqondo ongafanele wesibopho somndeni.
- Ukulungisa Okungokomfanekiso: Ngezenzo zokuphulukisa nemishwana eqondiswa umsizi, singakwazi ukulungisa ukuphuka ebudlelwaneni bomzali nengane.
- Ukuchaza kabusha imingcele: Izinkanyezi zisisiza ukuthi simise imingcele enempilo nabazali bethu, esivumela ukuba sibahloniphe ngaphandle kokuthwala imithwalo yabo.
Ukuvumela uthando lubonakale ezimpilweni zethu
- Ukuvula ukugeleza kothando: Ngokuxazulula amafindo anomdlandla ohlelweni lomndeni, sivula ukugeleza kwemvelo kothando obekuvinjelwe.
- Ukuqashelwa kothando olufihliwe: Izinkanyezi zivame ukusivumela ukuthi sibone uthando ngemuva kokuziphatha okunzima kakhulu. Baphinde bavule indlela yozwelo nentethelelo.
- Ukupholisa Amanxeba Okunamathiselwe: Ngokusebenza ebuhlotsheni bethu nabazali bethu, sivame ukuphulukisa amanxeba ajulile okunamathiselwe. Lokhu kuzosivumela ukuthi sakhe ubudlelwano obunempilo empilweni yethu yabantu abadala.
- Ukuvula Inhliziyo: Inqubo yomlaza ingakha okuhlangenwe nakho okujulile okungokomzwelo. Lesi sakamuva sivula izinhliziyo zethu, sisenze samukele kakhudlwana uthando kubo bonke ubudlelwano bethu.
- Ukuqondanisa nemvelo yethu yangempela: Ngokuzikhulula ekukhawuleni amaphethini omndeni, siqondana kakhulu nemvelo yethu yangempela, siheha uthando olwengeziwe nokuzwana ezimpilweni zethu.
Shintsha amandla anobuthi
- Ukuhlonza Izindima Ezingasebenzi: Izinkanyezi zisikhanyisela ngezindima ezinobuthi esizidlala singanakile ebudlelwaneni bethu. Lena indaba ka i-savior syndrome, isisulu noma umshushisi.
- Ukuhlelwa Kabusha Kwesistimu: Ngokunyakazisa abameleli ngokoqobo kuqoqo lezinkanyezi, singakwazi “ukusetha kabusha” isimiso somndeni wethu sangaphakathi, sakhe amaphethini amasha, anempilo.
- Ukuhlola amandla amasha: Imilaza ihlinzeka ngendawo ephephile yokuhlola izindlela ezintsha zokuhlobana. Singakwazi ke ukuhlanganisa lokhu ekuphileni kwethu kwansuku zonke.
- Isixazululo Sokungqubuzana Kwezizukulwane: Ngokusebenzisana nabamele izizukulwane eziningi, singakwazi ukuxazulula izingxabano ezidluliselwe kwesinye isizukulwane kuye kwesinye ngokungazi.
- Ukuhlanganiswa kwezingxenye ezinqatshiwe: Imilaza isisiza ukuba sibone futhi sihlanganise izingxenye zethu. Zisiza futhi ukuhlanganisa umlando womndeni wethu ebesiwunqabile.
- Ukudala Izindaba Ezintsha: Ngenqubo yeqoqo lezinkanyezi, sidala izindaba ezintsha mayelana nomlando womndeni wethu. Lokhu kufaka esikhundleni sezindaba ezinobuthi ezinomsoco futhi ezinikeza amandla.
Ngokusebenza ngalezi zici kumaqoqo ezinkanyezi omndeni, sidala ushintsho lwangaphakathi olujulile. Lokhu kubonakala ngokwemvelo ebudlelwaneni bethu bangaphandle.
U-Cristina Balan: umsizi oqonda uhambo lwakho
Njengomgqugquzeli wamaqoqo ezinkanyezi omndeni, mina, Cristina Balan, ngiyiqonda ngokujulile indlela oyihambayo. Mina ngokwami ngike ngabhekana nobudlelwano obunobuthi nabahlanekezeli be-narcissistic, futhi ngiyazi ukuthi lokhu okuhlangenwe nakho kungalimaza kangakanani. Uhambo lwami lokuphulukisa lungiholele ekutheni ngihlole izindlela eziningi zokwelapha, okuhlanganisa nezinkanyezi zomndeni, ezidlale indima ebalulekile ekuguqukeni kwami siqu.
Ngakhela phezu kwalokhu okuhlangenwe nakho futhi ngishukunyiswa isifiso sokusiza abanye besifazane abasezimweni ezifanayo, nganquma ukuqeqesha ngokomsebenzi. Namuhla, ngiyaziqhenya ngokuba nediploma kumaqoqo ezinkanyezi omndeni. Ngincoma kakhulu le ndlela yokuphulukisa ngokujulile ubudlelwano bomndeni obungasebenzi kahle kanye namandla anobuthi.
Ulwazi lwami lomuntu siqu, oluhlanganiswe nokuqeqeshwa kwami komsebenzi, lungivumela ukuthi ngidale indawo ephephile neqondakalayo. Kulokhu, ungahlola amaphethini akho obudlelwano. Ngiyazi ukuthi kungaba nzima kangakanani ukubhekana nalezi zinselele, kodwa ngingakuqinisekisa ukuthi ukuphulukiswa kungenzeka. Izinkanyezi zomndeni zinikeza indlela enamandla yokuguqula ubudlelwano bethu nempilo yethu.
Uma usukulungele ukuqala lolu hambo lokuphulukisa, ngingajabula ukukuphelezela. Ungangabazi ukungithinta ukuze uthole ukuthi imilaza yomndeni ingakusiza kanjani.
Kungani wenze umlaza womndeni?
Cishe uyazibuza ukuthi liyini iphuzu lezinkanyezi? Yazi ukuthi lokhu kwelashwa kukuvumela ukuthi:
- Ukuxazulula izinkinga zomshado : kungase kube ukungezwani okubi phakathi kwabashadikazi, ubudlelwano obunobuthi okuphindaphindiwe, isehlukaniso, ukukhohlisa, njll.
- Ukuxazulula izinkinga zomndeni : ubudlelwano obungebuhle phakathi kwabazali, ubudlelwane obunengxabano phakathi komzali nengane, umuzwa wokubandlululwa phakathi kwezingane zakini noma umndeni.
- Zilile : ukufa kungazelelwe, ukuphuphunyelwa yisisu, ukuzibulala,
- Xazulula izinkinga ezithile zobuchwepheshe njengokucindezeleka okuhlobene nomsebenzi, ukungqubuzana phakathi kozakwethu, ukungakwazi ukuthatha izinqumo, ukungakwazi ukugcina umsebenzi isikhathi eside, njll.
- Khomba futhi uxazulule amanxeba athile zezindaba zakho zomuntu siqu nezomndeni eziwumthombo wobunzima obuningi empilweni yakho yansuku zonke.
- Thola ubunzima obuhlobene nezenzakalo ezithile ezenzeka ezizukulwaneni ezedlule futhi okuthinta wena. Ngempela, wonke umuntu uyazi ukuthi amathalenta athile noma ukufana ngokomzimba kudluliswa ezizukulwaneni ngezizukulwane. Kodwa akugcini lapho! Ngisho nezinkumbulo zezenzakalo ezibuhlungu zingadluliselwa ezizukulwaneni ngezizukulwane (ukunukubezwa ngokocansi, impi, izimfihlo, imizwelo, njll.).
- Xazulula izinkinga zokuziphatha : ukuphuza utshwala, ukungazethembi, ukuphazamiseka kokudla, njll.
Iseshini yenkanyezi yomndeni yenzeka kanjani?
Kunezinhlobo ezimbili zeseshini:
- Izikhathi zeqoqo lezinkanyezi
- Izikhathi zomlaza ngamunye
Umlaza womndeni eqenjini
Ngokuvamile kwenzeka ngosuku olulodwa. Phakathi nalesi sikhathi somlaza womndeni weqembu, umbuthano wabantu abazimisele ngokuvamile uyakhiwa. Khona-ke, umelaphi wezinkanyezi womndeni uhlala eduze komlaza (umuntu oza ukuzoxazulula inkinga ethile). Kufanele njalo alethe i-genosociogram yakhe (isifinyezo somndeni ngaphezu kwezizukulwane ezi-4). Ngokusekelwe kulo mbhalo, umelaphi uyobe esebuza umlaza uchungechunge lwemibuzo ukuze amsize athole inkinga yakhe ebalulekile, esekelwe ezenzakalweni ezithile ezibalulekile zomkhaya.
Uma lokhu sekwenziwe, uchwepheshe uzocela umlaza ukuthi asebenzise abantu abathile embuthanweni ukuze amele amalungu omndeni wakhe futhi awabeke ngendlela afuna ngayo. Futhi kuya ngesikhundla ukuthi uchwepheshe uzokwazi ukusebenza kanjani. Umgomo weseshini ukubeka umuntu ngamunye endaweni yakhe, okuzoholela ezinguqukweni ezijulile empilweni yomlaza.
Umlaza womndeni ngamunye
Amaseshini angawodwana angenziwa ku-inthanethi noma mathupha. Futhi njengaseseshini yeqembu, umlaza kumele uhlale une-genosociogram ngesikhathi seseshini.
Umehluko ngalokhu kwelashwa ukuthi uchwepheshe usebenzisa izinto ezithile ukumela amalungu omndeni wenkanyezi (amatshe amatshe, ama-cushions, njll.). Kodwa umgomo uyafana: ukukhulula inkanyezi ekuhluphekeni okuhlukahlukene kanye nemithwalo, ukuze izizwe ilula futhi iqhubekele phambili ngokuthula ekuphileni. Intengo yale seshini yomlaza womndeni ihluka cishe ngama-euro ayi-150.
Umlaza womndeni: izinzuzo ezahlukene
Nazi izinzuzo zeqoqo lezinkanyezi lomndeni:
- Kusiza ukuxazulula izingxabano phakathi kwamalungu omndeni owodwa noma izingxabano phakathi kwabashadile
- Kwenza kube lula ukuqonda imfihlo yomndeni.
- Kuyasiza ukulungisa izinkinga ezithile zobudlelwano.
- Lokhu kwelashwa kusiza ukuxazulula izingxabano zezimali, ezingase zihlobane noma zingahlobani nefa.
- Le ndlela yokwelapha ikuvumela ukuthi uqonde umsuka wezifo zakho futhi ukhulule ukubamba kwesibopho se-transgenerational.
- Izinkanyezi zomndeni zisiza ukuthuthukisa ubudlelwano nawe kanye nabanye.
- Izinkanyezi zomndeni zivumela ukuphulukiswa kwe-transgenerational
- Ikuvumela ukuthi usebenzise okwedlule njengamandla okufeza izinhloso zakho.
- Lokhu kwelashwa kusiza ukuthuthukisa isimo sakho sempilo kanye nezengqondo.
Ingabe umlaza womkhaya unezingozi?
Umlaza womndeni awuwona ukwelapha okuyingozi, ngokuphambene nalokho. Isiza ukuxazulula izingxabano nezinkinga ngaphakathi kwesistimu yomndeni. Nokho, kungase kungakhululeki. Uma ungakhululekile ngemizwa yakho, lo mkhuba ungase ukhathale ngokomzwelo.
Futhi, ukwelashwa komlaza womndeni kungase kube nezinye izingozi. Isibonelo, uma uhlangana nomsizi omubi, angenza izinqumo eziqondene nawe ezingase zikhuphule ukucindezeleka kwakho ngokwengqondo esikhundleni sokukukhulula.
Ungawenza kuphi umlaza womndeni?
Ingabe ufuna lapho ungenza khona umlaza womndeni eFrance? Lokhu kuzoya ngokuthi uhlala kuphi. Uma uhlala e-Annecy, Brittany, Haute Savoie, ungathola umelaphi womndeni wezinkanyezi eduze nawe. Okufanele ukwenze ukungena ku-inthanethi futhi wenze ucwaningo lwakho.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, uma ungakwazi ukuthola i-constellation therapist yomndeni noma isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo eduze nalapho uhlala khona, ungahlala ukhetha ukubonisana nokude. Abanye ochwepheshe banikeza izikhathi zomlaza womndeni ngamunye ku-inthanethi.
Ungamkhetha kanjani umeluleki ozohlanganisa izinkanyezi?
Umsebenzi womlaza awukaqashelwa ngokusemthethweni. Ngakho-ke akulula ukubona umsizi omuhle. Ungahlangana nomelaphi wezinkanyezi womndeni oqeqeshiwe njengoDominique Jacob, u-Idris Lahore, uMaureen Boigen, uMichelle Duhamel. Kodwa futhi ungahlangana nama-scammers nama-charlatans. Ngakho-ke, wenza kanjani ngokuthola umsizi omuhle? Nawa amanye amathiphu:
- buza nxazonke : noma ngabe umndeni wakho, abangani, osebenza nabo noma abanye odokotela, bangancoma udokotela omuhle kuwe.
- Yenza ucwaningo ku-Google : abantu abanelisekile ngesikhathi seseshini yenkanyezi yomndeni nomelaphi bavame ukushiya ubufakazi obuhle nezibuyekezo ku-inthanethi. Ngakho-ke ungabonisana nabo ngaphambi kokukhetha umelaphi wakho.
Ngaphezu kwakho konke, khetha uchwepheshe onolwazi lweminyaka eminingi kulo mkhakha. Ngakho ungaqiniseka ukuthi unokuvuthwa komuntu siqu, isipiliyoni esihle sokuphila kanye nomuntu okwazi ukuhlukanisa imizwa.
Ukuphetha
Yenza i- Ukwelashwa komlaza womndeni kumayelana nokuhlola umlando womndeni wakho ukuze uzikhulule kangcono kulokho okungekona okwakho. Kuyisimemo sokuthula, ukubuyisana kwangaphakathi, nokuvulwa kwamathuba amasha. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ngokwakho, ubudlelwano bakho, izingane zakho, noma ukuze nje uziqonde kangcono, lokhu kwelashwa okuhlelekile kunikeza ithuluzi elibalulekile nelinamandla lokuguqula.
Izikhombo ze-bibliographic ku-constellation yomndeni
Nali izinkomba ezikhethiwe zetimu yamaqoqo ezinkanyezi omndeni:
- UBert Hellinger. Ukuthola imilaza yomndeni: Ukusuka kumbono kuya ekusebenzeni. I-Éditions Jouvence, 2010.
- Gérard Schmit. “Imilaza yomndeni eyinkimbinkimbi”. Impilo yengqondo isebenza, 2005, amakhasi 41-50.
- I-Axel Tai Trinh Cong. “Imilaza yomndeni: izisekelo zesayensi nobufakazi.” Indlela Engokomfanekiso, 2019.
- UJoel Maurel. Izinkanyezi zomndeni: Ukupholisa amanxeba omndeni nokuzikhulula esiphethoni esidlule. Ukwesekwa kwezemfundo, i-Espace Harmonie Association, i-Albi.
- I-French Federation of Practitioners in Systemic Constellations (FFPCS). “Imibhalo nezincwadi”.
- UMuriel Ortmans. “Izinkanyezi Zomndeni kanye ne-Psychogenealogy: Ukuhlola I-Invisible Family Dynamics”. ETSN Blog, 2024.
- UMaureen Boigen. “Imilaza yomndeni”. Imilaza Yomndeni, 2024.
Lezi zikhombo zinikeza ukubuka okujulile kwamaqoqo ezinkanyezi omndeni, kusukela ezisekelweni zawo zethiyori kuya ekusetshenzisweni okungokoqobo, okuhlanganisa izingxoxo zesayensi ezihlotshaniswayo nezibucayi.
Isiphetho
Sengiphetha, umlaza womndeni ubonakala uyindlela yokwelapha emisha nefanelekile yokuhlola ukuguquguquka komndeni nokuxazulula izinkinga ezigxile esikhathini esidlule. Nakuba ukusebenza kwayo kungase kuhluke phakathi kwabantu ngabanye kanye nabasebenzi, le ndlela inikeza amathuluzi athakazelisayo okuqonda kangcono nokuphulukisa amanxeba adlulele kwesinye isikhathi. Kodwa-ke, ukuqapha kuyadingeka ekukhethweni komelaphi ukuze kuqinisekiswe umkhuba ochwepheshe nokunakekela.
I-Bibliography Imilaza Yomndeni
- “Izinkanyezi Zomndeni: Ukuqonda Izindlela Zokugula Komndeni” nguBert Hellinger
- “I-Constellation Yomndeni: I-Psychotherapy kanye Nokuphulukiswa Komphefumulo” nguBert Hellinger
- “Lapho ngivala amehlo ami, ngibona ngokucacile” ngu-Ursula Franke
- “Hawu bokhokho bami! » ngu-Anne Ancelin Schützenberger
- “Ukwethembeka Okungabonakali: Ukuphindaphinda Ekwelapheni Komndeni Kwezizukulwane” ka-Ivan Boszormenyi-Nagy kanye noGeraldine M. Spark
- “Ukwenziwa Kwabantu Okusha” nguVirginia Satir
- “Ithiyetha Yokuphulukisa” ngu-Alejandro Jodorowsky
- “Ngisho noma Kubiza Impilo Yami: Izinkanyezi Ezihlelekile Nokugula Okubi” ngu-Stephan Hausner
- “Ukuxhuma Kokhokho Bethu: Ukuphulukisa Ngemilaza Yomndeni, Umkhosi, kanye Nesiko” nguFrancesca Mason Boring
- “I-Symmetry Efihliwe Yothando: Yini Eyenza Uthando Lusebenze Ebudlelwaneni” nguBert Hellinger, Gunthard Weber & Hunter Beaumont
Want to break free from this hold?
The Complete Narcissism Release (PDF book) and the Musc essential oil guide you step by step – at your own pace, at home.
Want to break free from this hold?
The Complete Narcissism Release (PDF book) and the Musc essential oil guide you step by step – at your own pace, at home.
Want to break free from this hold?
The Complete Narcissism Release (PDF book) and the Musc essential oil guide you step by step – at your own pace, at home.
Want to break free from this hold?
The Complete Narcissism Release (PDF book) and the Musc essential oil guide you step by step – at your own pace, at home.