Ezweni eliyinkimbinkimbi lobudlelwano phakathi kwabantu, umhlangano phakathi kwabantu ababili abazwela kakhulu ungabonakala, ekuqaleni, njengokuvumelana okuphelele. Kodwa-ke, lapho abantu ababili abazwela kakhulu behlangana, isimo singaba nzima ngokushesha, ikakhulukazi uma omunye wozakwethu ebonisa izici zokunganaki. Lesi sihloko sihlola ukuguquguquka okuyinkimbinkimbi okungathuthuka ebuhlotsheni obunjalo.
Umdanso obucayi we-hypersensitivity kanye ne-narcissism
Thehypersensitivity, njengoba kuchazwe uDkt. Elaine Aron, kuyisici esithinta cishe i-15-20% yabantu. Abantu abazwela kakhulu (i-HSP) basabela kakhulu ekushukunyisweni kwemvelo nangokomzwelo. Bavame ukucubungula ulwazi ngokujule kakhudlwana, babe nozwela, futhi bezwe imizwa ngokujule kakhulu.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, i-pathological narcissism yisifo sobuntu esibonakala ngesidingo eseqile sokutuswa, ukungabi naluzwela kanye nokuthambekela kokuxhaphaza abanye. Lapho umuntu ozwela kakhulu engena ebudlelwaneni nomuntu ophuza utshwala, imiphumela ingaba mibi kakhulu.
UCristina unikeza iseshini yomuntu ngamunye ukukusiza uphume ekulawulweni okuhlukumezayo futhi wakhe impilo yakho kabusha.
Izimpawu ze-Telltale zobudlelwano obunobuthi phakathi kwe-hypersensitive kanye ne-narcissist
Ukuqaphela izimpawu ze- ubuhlobo obunobuthi kubalulekile kwabesifazane abazwela kakhulu. Nazi ezinye izinkomba okufanele uziqaphele:
- Ukungavumeleki njalo kwemizwa
- Ukuxhaphaza imizwelo njalo
- Ukusebenzisa Ukuzwela Njengobuthakathaka
- Imijikelezo yokwehla kwenani kanye nokwenza kahle
- Ukungabi nozwelo ngezidingo ze-PHS
Umthelela omubi wokuzethemba kwabesifazane abane-hypersensitive
Abesifazane abazwela kakhulu ebudlelwaneni nama-narcissists bangalimala kakhulu ukuzethemba kwabo. I-narcissist ivamise ukusebenzisa uzwela nokuzwela komlingani wakhe, okumenza azingabaze yena kanye nemibono yakhe. Lokhu kuguquka kungaholela kokuthi:
- Ukulahlekelwa ukuzethemba
- Ukwanda kokukhathazeka nokucindezeleka
- Ukuzizwa ungafaneleki njalo
- Ubunzima bokusungula imingcele enempilo
Ugibe lokuzwelana: Kungani abantu abazwela kakhulu besengozini kuma-narcisists?
Abantu abazwela kakhulu, ngenxa yesimo sabo sozwela nesifiso sokujabulisa, bangaba izisulu ezilula zama-narcissists. Ukuthambekela kwabo koku:
- Izwa ngokujulile imizwa yabanye
- Zama ukugwema ukungqubuzana
- Ukufuna “ukulungisa” noma “ukusindisa” umlingani wabo
zingabenza babe sengcupheni ikakhulukazi kumaqhinga akhohlisayo ama-narcisists.
Ukunqamula Umjikelezo: Amasu Wokugqashula Ebudlelwaneni Obunobuthi
Kwabesifazane abazwela kakhulu ababanjwe ebudlelwaneni ne-narcissist, ukwephula umjikelezo kungase kubonakale kungenakunqotshwa. Nawa amasu okuqalisa ukukhululeka:
- Qaphela Amaphethini Anobuthi
- Misa Imingcele Eqinile Futhi Uyigcine
- Hlakulela Inethiwekhi Yokusekela Eqinile
- Zijwayeze ukuzizwela nokuzinakekela
- Funa usizo kuchwepheshe ogxile ekuhlukumezekeni kobudlelwano
Ukwakha kabusha ubuwena: Indlela eya ekwelapheni kwe-hypersensitive
Ngemva kokuzikhulula ebuhlotsheni obunobuthi, inqubo yokuphulukisa nokuzitholela kabusha ingaqala. Lolu hambo lubandakanya:
- Ukuhlangana kabusha nezidingo zakho nezifiso zakho
- Ukufunda ukuziqinisekisa okunempilo
- Ukugubha ukuzwela komuntu njengamandla
- Ukuthuthukiswa kobudlelwane obunempilo nobulinganiselayo
Izinzuzo Ezifihliwe Ze-Hypersensitivity ekubuyiseleni
Nakuba i-hypersensitivity ingase ibonakale isengozini, empeleni ingaba usizo olukhulu enqubweni yokwelapha. Abantu abane-Hypersensitive bavame ukuba:
- Umthamo omkhulu wokuzihlola
- I-intuition ebukhali
- Uzwela olujulile olungaqondiswa kabusha kuyena
- Ubuciko obungadluliselwa ekukhulumeni nasekuphulukiseni
Ukuzulazula Ebudlelwaneni Besikhathi Esizayo: Izifundo Zokuthola Okubucayi Kakhulu
Kwabesifazane abazwela kakhulu abaye basinda ebuhlotsheni nomuntu osebenzisa i-narcissist, ukusondela ebudlelwaneni obusha kungase kusabise. Nawa amanye amathiphu okuqhubekela phambili:
- Thatha isikhathi sokuphulukisa ngaphambi kokuzibophezela futhi
- Funda ukubona izimpawu eziyisixwayiso kusenesikhathi
- Xhumana ngokucacile ngezidingo zakho kanye nemikhawulo
- Khetha ozakwethu abazisa futhi abahloniphe ukuzwela
Ukubaluleka kokusekelwa kochwepheshe ohlelweni lokuphulukisa
Indlela yokululama ebuhlotsheni obunobuthi imvamisa iyinkimbinkimbi futhi igcwele imizwa. Yingakho ukusekelwa kochwepheshe kubalulekile. Umelaphi okhethekile angasiza:
- Yelapha ukuhlukumezeka ama-emotion
- Thuthukisa amasu okubhekana nesimo esinempilo
- Qinisa ukuzethemba
- Funda ukwakha ubudlelwano obunempilo.
Isiphetho: Yamukela ukuzwela kwakho ngenkathi uzivikela
Ukuba ngumuntu ozwela kakhulu emhlabeni ongasiqondi ngaso sonke isikhathi lesi sici kungase kube nzima, ikakhulukazi ngemva kokuba nobudlelwane obunobuthi nomuntu osebenzisa izidakamizwa. Kodwa-ke, ngokusekelwa okufanele, ukuqonda kanye namathuluzi, kungenzeka ukuthi ungagcini nje ukubuyisela esimweni esinjalo, kodwa uphumelele.
Okubalulekile wukubona ukuthi ukuzwela kwakho kungamandla, akuwona ubuthakathaka. Ikuvumela ukuthi uphile futhi uthande ngokujulile, udale futhi ube nengqondo. Ngokufunda ukubeka imingcele enempilo, uzigomele, futhi ukhethe ubudlelwano obondla umphefumulo wakho kunokuwuqeda, ungakha ukuphila okucebile, okwanelisayo.
Khumbula, lapho abantu ababili abazwela kakhulu behlangana, kungaba yinto enhle – inqobo nje uma bobabili abalingani bephilile ngokomzwelo futhi bekwazi ukuzwelana. Uhambo lwakho lokuphulukisa alulungiseleli nje kuphela ubudlelwano obungcono besikhathi esizayo, kodwa futhi nobudlelwano obujulile, obunothando kakhulu nawe.
Ukulungele ukuvula ikhasi unomphela?
Iseshini yobuso nobuso noCristina iyisinyathelo esibalulekile: ukuqonda, ukuthatha isinyathelo, ukuqhubekela phambili. Ku-inthanethi, noma ngabe ukuphi. Iseshini yokuqeqesha yomuntu ngamunye ngevidiyo (Skype noma WhatsApp) — €100 ngeseshini.
Ufuna ukwesekwa komuntu ngamunye?
UCristina unikeza iseshini yomuntu ngamunye ukukusiza uphume ekulawulweni okuhlukumezayo futhi wakhe impilo yakho kabusha.