I-Parental alienation syndrome: ukuqonda nokubhekana nayo

Njengomuntu wesifazane oke waba nobudlelwano nomuntu ohlanekezela ama-narcissistic, kungenzeka ukuthi ubhekane nezinselelo eziningi. Okunye okubuhlungu kakhulu kungaba yi-parental alienation syndrome (PAS), isimo lapho owake wathandana naye ezama ukujikisa izingane zakho kuwe. Lesi sihloko sihlose ukukusiza ukuthi uqonde lesi simo nokuthi ungabhekana kanjani nakho.

Iyini i-parental alienation syndrome?

I-syndromeukuhlukana kwabazali ibhekisela esimweni lapho omunye umzali ekhohlisa ingane ukuba ilahle omunye umzali, ngaphandle kwesizathu esizwakalayo. Esimweni sokuhlukaniswa nomuntu ophendukezela i-narcissistic, imvamisa kuba owakamuva ozama ukuhlukanisa izingane ngokumelene nawe.

Ukuziphatha okujwayelekile kufaka:

• Uhlale ululaza omunye umzali phambi kwengane
• Vimbela ukuthintana phakathi kwengane nomunye umzali
• Vuza ingane lapho igxeka omunye umzali
• Ukwesula omunye umzali empilweni yengane.

Indlela yokubona izimpawu zokuhlukaniswa kwabazali?

Nazi ezinye izimpawu ezingase zibonise ukuthi owake wathandana naye uzama ukuhlukanisa nezingane zakho:

• Izingane zakho ziyakwenqaba kungazelelwe ngaphandle kwesizathu
• Baphinda ukugxeka kwalowo owakwakho ngawe izwi nezwi
• Banqaba noma yikuphi ukuxhumana nawe noma umndeni wakho
• Ukuziphatha kwabo kushintsha kakhulu ngemva kokubona omunye umzali
• Babonakala benombono wezwe omnyama nomhlophe mayelana nabazali babo

Kungani ama-narcissistic perverts esebenzisa ukuhlukaniswa kwabazali?

Abaphendukezeli be-Narcissistic bavame ukuphendukela ekuhlukaniseni kwabazali ngezizathu eziningana:

• Ukuzilawula ngokusebenzisa izingane
• Ziphindiselele ngokuhlukana kwenu
• Londoloza isithombe sabo ngokukuveza “njengomzali omubi”
• Ukwanelisa isidingo sabo sokunakwa nokutuswa yizingane.

Imiphumela yokwehlukana kwabazali ezinganeni

Ukuhlukaniswa kwabazali kungaba nemiphumela elimazayo yesikhathi eside ezinganeni:

• Izinkinga zokuzethemba nokuzethemba
• Izinkinga zobudlelwano lapho usumdala
• Ingozi eyengeziwe yokucindezeleka nokukhathazeka
• Umuzwa we icala njengomuntu omdala
• Ubunzima bokwethemba kanye nokusondelana

Ungazivikela kanjani izingane zakho ekuhlukaniseni abazali?

Nawa amasu okuvikela izingane zakho:

1. Gcina ukukhulumisana okuvulekile nokwethembeka nabo
2. Ungamgxeki uyise phambi kwabo noma kunzima
3. Bakhuthaze ukuthi babe nombono wabo
4. Chitha isikhathi esihle nabo uma unabo
5. Bhala phansi zonke izigameko zokuhlukana kwabazali
6. Cabangela ukwelashwa komndeni

Amakhambi angokomthetho wokuhlukaniswa kwabazali

Uma ubhekene nesimo sokuhlukaniswa nomzali, izinketho ezimbalwa ezingokomthetho zitholakala kuwe:

• Cela ukuguqulwa kwesinqumo sokugcina
• Shayela umlamuli womndeni
• Cela ubuchwepheshe bezengqondo
• Faka isikhalazo sokungameli ingane uma kunesidingo

Ungangabazi ukuxhumana nommeli womndeni mayelana nezinketho zakho.

Ungazinakekela kanjani kulesi simo?

Ukubhekana nokuhlukaniswa kwabazali kungaba nzima kakhulu. Nawa amanye amathiphu ongazinakekela:

1. Zizungeze nabantu abakhathalelayo
2. Bona umelaphi ukuze akusize ulawule imizwa yakho
3. Joyina iqembu lokusekela labazali abahlukanisiwe
4. Prakthiza imisebenzi eshajwa kabusha amabhethri akho
5. Hlala unethemba futhi uhlale unesineke – iqiniso livame ukuvela ekugcineni

Ukwakha kabusha ubuhlobo nezingane zakho ngemva kokuhlukana kwabazali

Uma izingane zakho zihlukene nawe, ukwakha kabusha ubuhlobo bakho kuzothatha isikhathi nesineke. Nawa amanye amathiphu:

1. Ungabaphoqi ukuthi bakhethe phakathi kwabazali babo
2. Lalela imizwa yabo ngaphandle kokubahlulela
3. Bonisa ukungaguquguquki nokwethembeka
4. Dalani izinkumbulo ezintsha ezinhle ndawonye
5. Banike isikhathi sokuphulukisa ngejubane labo

Ukubaluleka kokubhala phansi ukuhlukaniswa kwabazali

Kubalulekile ukugcina amarekhodi azo zonke izigameko zokuhlukaniswa kwabazali:

• Bhala phansi izinsuku, izikhathi kanye nemininingwane yesigameko ngasinye
• Gcina imilayezo noma ama-imeyili afakazela ukukhohlisa
• Rekhoda izinguquko ekuziphatheni kwezingane zakho
• Landelela ukuvakasha okuphuthelwe noma okukhanseliwe

Lobu bufakazi bungaba wusizo uma kufanele uye enkantolo.

Ungakuchaza kanjani ukuhlukana kwabazali ezinganeni zakho?

Ukuxoxa ngale ndaba nezingane zakho kudinga ubuhlakani. Nazi ezinye iziphakamiso:

• Inkulumo yakho ivumelane neminyaka yabo
• Bachazele ukuthi bobabili abazali bayabathanda naphezu kwezingxabano
• Bakhuthaze ukuthi baveze imizwa yabo
• Baqinisekise ukuthi akulona iphutha labo
• Gwema ukwenza idemoni komunye umzali, ngisho noma kulinga.

Izinganekwane namaqiniso mayelana ne-parental alienation syndrome

Kunemibono eminingi eyiphutha mayelana neSAP. Nazi ezinye izinganekwane ongazakha:

• Inganekwane : I-SAP ayikho.
• Iqiniso : Nakuba kunempikiswano, lesi simo sibonwa ochwepheshe abaningi.
• Inganekwane : Obaba kuphela abahlukanisa izingane.
• ngokoqobo : Kokubili omama nobaba kungabangela ukuhlukana kwabazali.
• Inganekwane : Izingane ezilahliwe azikwazi ukuphinde zixhumane nomzali owaliwe.
• Iqiniso : Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi nokusekelwa okufanele, ubudlelwano bungakhiwa kabusha.

Indlela yokuphatha amaholide omndeni kanye nemicimbi esimweni sokuhlukaniswa kwabazali?

Izikhathi zamaholide zingaba nzima kakhulu. Nawa amanye amathiphu:

1. Lungiselela ngokomzwelo kusengaphambili
2. Dala amasiko amasha nezingane zakho uma zinawe
3. Hlala uvumelana nezimo ngezinsuku zokugubha
4. Thumela amakhadi noma izipho ezincane ngisho noma izingane zakho zikude
5. Zizungeze nabathandekayo bakho abakhathalelayo ngalezi zikhathi.

Theukuhlukana kwabazali eyenziwa ngumama

Theukuhlukana kwabazali, lapho kwenziwa umama, kungaba nomthelela omkhulu endleleni intombazane ebona ngayo amadoda futhi yakhe ubuhlobo bayo njengomuntu omdala. Kulo mongo, umama angakwazi, ngenhloso noma cha, ukwakha iphethini yokwehla kwenani likababa, okuholela indodakazi ukuba ibalekele imodeli kababa futhi ifune abalingani abafana nonina. Nansi indlela le mishini esebenza ngayo:

Ukwehla kwenani likababa

Uma umama omehlukanisayo ehlambalaza noma edelela uyise, lokhu kufaka endodakazini umbono ongemuhle ngendoda. Ngokuhlobanisa izici zobudoda nokuziphatha okubonakala njengokuhluleka, okulimazayo noma okungathenjwa, intombazane ingaba indlela yokuzivikela okumphusha ukuthi anqabe konke okumkhumbuza uyise. Lokhu kwenqatshwa kungase kushukunyiswe isifiso sokuzikhulula kumuntu wesilisa obhekwa njengokungazinzile noma okulimazayo, bese efuna ukugwema ukuzithola esesimweni esifana naleso abhekana naso ebuntwaneni bakhe. Lokhu kuguquguquka kungakha iphethini yemizwa lapho owesilisa ebonakala njengosongo, okumenza afulathele izibonelo zabesilisa.

Ukuhlobana nomama

Ngokuvumelana nemibono kanina mayelana noyise, indodakazi ingathuthukisa a ubunikazi obuqinile kumagugu kanye nokuziphatha komama. Lokhu kungase kuphumele ekuhlobaneni okujulile nomama, kuqinise umqondo wokuthi owesilisa kufanele abonakale ngelensi yesifazane, ngokuvamile ehlotshaniswa nezici zobumnene, ububele, noma ukulawula. Kulokhu okuguquguqukayo, intombazane ifunda ukubona amadoda hhayi njengezibalo zegunya noma amandla, kodwa njengabalingani abangase bakhiqize kabusha ukuziphatha komama. Lokhu kungase kumholele ekufuneni amadoda anezici ezifanayo zesifazane noma zomama, njengokuzwela, isidingo sokuvikelwa, noma indlela yokuxhumana emnene.

Ukufuna ukulondeka ngokomzwelo

Le ukwenqaba imodeli kababa kungase futhi kube ukusabela esidingweni esingazi lutho sokulondeka ngokomzwelo. Intombazane, njengoba ike yavezwa imodeli yomndeni engazinzile, ingase izizwe iphephile kunamadoda abonisa izici ezihlobene nonina. Ngokufuna abalingani abafana nomama wakhe, uzama ukuphinda adale isimo esijwayelekile somzwelo, nakuba lokhu kungase kusho ukuziba izinkinga ezingaba khona ezihlobene nalokhu kuguquguquka. Lesi sidingo sokulondeka okungokomzwelo singase simholele ekukhetheni amadoda amnika uhlobo oluthile lokududuza, esikhundleni sobaba afake amamodeli omama amaningi, okungase kubhekwe njengokusongela kancane.

Ukuphindaphinda kwamaphethini

Ngokubheka amadoda afana nonina, intombazane iphinde ibe sengozini yokuwela e iphethini ephindayo lapho ezithola esebudlelwaneni obungaphilile noma obungalingani. Amadoda awakhethayo angase abe nezici, nakuba zijwayele, ezingahambelani nezici ezinhle nezinelisayo. Ngakho angakwazi ukukhiqiza kabusha amaphethini obudlelwane angasebenzi, adale amandla lapho ezizwa edlala indima yokusekela noma yokuzithoba, kuyilapho egwema ngamabomu noma yikuphi ukuziphatha kowesilisa okubonakala kunesici. Lokhu kuphindaphinda kungaholela ebuhlotsheni obungenakulinganisela, lapho indodakazi ifuna ukunakekela abalingani bayo, ithatha isimo somama, kuyilapho ibalekela ukungqubuzana noma ukungqubuzana okungamelwe indoda efana noyise.

Inkinga engokomzwelo

Ngokubalekela imodeli kababa nokufuna abalingani abafana nonina, indodakazi ingabanjwa ku inkinga engokomzwelo. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ulangazelela ukusungula ubuhlobo obunempilo obusekelwe othandweni nasenhloniphoni, kodwa ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukhangwa amamodeli angase angahlangabezani nalokho akulindele ngokomzwelo. Lokhu kungqubuzana kwangaphakathi kungadala umthombo wokukhungatheka kanye nokudideka, lapho ehlangana khona phakathi kokukhanga amadoda ahlanganisa inguqulo yomama kanye nesidingo sokuzimela kanye nokuzimela ahlulekile ukukuhlakulela ekuqaleniukuhlukana kwabazali.

Isiphetho

Ekuphetheni, ukubhekana nesifo sokuhlukaniswa kwabazali lapho umuntu eke waba isisulu somuntu ophendukezela i-narcissistic Lokhu kuyinselele enkulu. Kodwa-ke, ngesineke, ukwesekwa, kanye namasu afanele, kungenzeka ukuvikela izingane zakho nokulondoloza ubuhlobo bakho nazo. Khumbula ukuthi awuwedwa kulesi simo nokuthi izinsiza ziyatholakala ukukusiza. Hlala unethemba futhi ugxile othandweni onalo ngezingane zakho—yisikhali sakho esingcono kakhulu sokulwa nokuhlukaniswa kwabazali.