I-Attachment Disorder: Ukuqonda Nokuphulukisa Ngemva Kobudlelwane Obunobuthi

Ubudlelwano ne-narcissist bungaba nomthelela omkhulu endleleni esihlobana ngayo nabanye. Lesi sihloko sihlola ukuthi lokhu kuzizwisa kuwathinta kanjani amaphethini ethu okuphazamiseka kokunamathiselwe futhi kuphakamise izindlela zokwakha kabusha ubudlelwano obunempilo.

Kuyini ukunamathela futhi kungani kubalulekile?

Okunamathiselwe kubhekisela emandleni ethu okudala izibopho eziqinile zemizwa nabanye. Amabhondi ethu okunamathiselwe okuqala, ngokuvamile nabazali bethu noma izibalo zabazali ngesikhathi sobuntwana, alolonga lokho esikulindele nokuziphatha kwethu kukho konke ukuphila kwethu.

Ukunamathiselwe okuvikelekile kukuvumela ukuthi uzizwe uqiniseka ebudlelwaneni bakho, ukuxhumana ngezidingo zakho futhi ube nokuzethemba okuhle. Ngokuphambene, imizwa yokuqala engemihle ingaholela emaphethini okunamathiselwe angavikelekile abonakala lapho esekhulile.

Ngabe ubudlelwano ne-narcissistic buhlanekezela kanjani okunamathiselwe?

Ama-Narcissistic perverts avame ukudala ubudlelwano obunesiphithiphithi nobungazinzile. Ukuziphatha kwabo okukhohlisayo, ukungabi naluzwela, nokuhlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo kungawubukela phansi kakhulu umuzwa wokulondeka nokwethenjwa kwabalingani babo.

Lokhu kungenza kusebenze kabusha noma kubi nakakhulu ukulimala okunamathiselwe osekuvele kukhona, noma kudale amaphethini amasha okunamathiselwe angasebenzi kahle. Izisulu zingase zithuthuke:

• Ukukhathazeka kokulahlwa
• Ukwesaba ukusondelana
• Ukungabethembi abanye ngokweqile
• Ukuzethemba okuphansi futhi ukuzidela
• Ubunzima bokuveza izidingo zabo

Izitayela zokunamathisela ezihlukene nokuba sengozini kwazo kuziphendukezeli ze-narcissistic

Kubalulekile ukuhlola izitayela zokunamathisela ezihlukene kanye nokuba sengozini kwazo kubahlanekezeli be-narcissistic. Nazi izibonelo:

Ukunamathela okukhathazekile

Abantu abanesifo sofubaokunamathiselwe kokukhathazeka Banesidingo esikhulu sokuqinisekiswa nokuqinisekiswa ebudlelwaneni babo. Bavame ukwesaba ukushiywa futhi bangaba “abanamathelayo”.

Lesi sitayela sibenza babe sengcupheni ikakhulukazi kwabaphendukezeli be-narcissistic abashintshana phakathi kwe-idealization kanye nokwenqatshwa. Umjikelezo wethemba nokudumazeka ubagcina bebambelele ebudlelwaneni obunobuthi.

Gwema okunamathiselwe

Ngokuphambene, abantu abanenkinga yokugwema ukunamathela bavame ukubalekela ukusondelana ngokomzwelo futhi bahlale bekude. Bakwazisa ukuzimela kwabo futhi bakuthola kunzima ukwethemba.

Okudidayo ukuthi, bangase bakhangwe abahlanekezeli be-narcissistic ngoba ibanga labo lokuqala elingokomzwelo limelela inselele. Uma “sebenqotshiwe”, bakuthola kunzima ukuhamba naphezu kokuhlukunyezwa.

Okunamathiselwe okungahlelekile

Lesi sitayela sihlanganisa ukukhathazeka nokugwema. Abantu bayazulazula phakathi kwesifiso esinamandla sokuxhumana nokwesaba okukhubazayo kokusondelana.

Ubudlelwano nomuntu ohlanekezelekayo we-narcissistic kwandisa lokhu kungaboni ngaso linye kanye nesiyaluyalu semizwa. Umjikelezo wokwenza kahle/wokwehlisa uhambisana nokulindelwe kobudlelwane obushayisanayo.

Vikela okunamathiselwe kwi-imeyili

Nakuba kuyivelakancane, kuyenzeka ukuthi abantu abanenkinga yokunamathela evikelekile bazithole besebudlelwaneni nomuntu ophendukezela i-narcissistic. Ukuzethemba kwabo kanye nokuvuleleka kwabo ngokomzwelo kungase kuqale kuhehe i-narcissist.

Kodwa-ke, mancane amathuba okuthi bahlale bebambeke ebudlelwaneni obuhlukumezayo isikhathi eside, benekhono elingcono lokubona ukuziphatha okunobuthi futhi kusukela lapho.

Imiphumela yokuphazamiseka kokunamathiselwe

Imiphumela ye-attachment disorder ingaba miningi futhi ihluke, ithinte izici ezihlukahlukene zokuphila komuntu. Nansi imithelela eyinhloko:

1. Ubudlelwano phakathi kwabantu:
   • Ubunzima bokusungula nokugcina ubudlelwano obuzinzile
   • Ukuthambekela ekuzihlukaniseni nomphakathi noma ubudlelwano obukha phezulu
   • Izinkinga zokwethemba abanye
2. Ukulawulwa kwemizwa:
   • Ubunzima bokulawula imizwa
   • Ukuthambekela ekushintsheni kwemizwa
   • I-Hypersensitivity noma, ngokuphambene, ukuhlukana kwemizwelo
3. Ugqhozu lwakho:
   • Ukuzethemba okuphansi
   • Ukuzizwa ungafaneleki noma ukungafaneleki ukuthandwa
   • Ubunzima bokubona ukubaluleka komuntu siqu
4. Ukuziphatha:
   • Ukuziphatha okuyingozi noma okuzilimazayo
   • Ukuncika ngokomzwelo noma ukugwema ubudlelwano obuseduze
   • Ubunzima bokuzivumelanisa nezimo ezimweni zenhlalo ezehlukene
5. Impilo yengqondo:
   • Ukwanda kwengozi yokuba nokukhathazeka noma iziyaluyalu zokucindezeleka
   • Ukuba sengozini yokulutheka
   • Amathuba okuthuthukisa ukuphazamiseka kobuntu
6. Ukuthuthukiswa kwengqondo nokufunda:
   • Ubunzima bokugxila nokufunda
   • Izinkinga zenkumbulo, ikakhulukazi ezihlobene nakho okungokomzwelo
   • Ukubambezeleka okungaba khona ekuthuthukisweni kolimi
7. Ubuzali:
   • Ingozi yokudluliselwa kwezizukulwane ngezizukulwane zokuphazamiseka kokunamathiselwe
   • Ubunzima bokuhlangabezana ngokwanele nezidingo ezingokomzwelo zezingane zakho siqu
8. Impilo yobungcweti:
   • Ukungazinzi kochwepheshe
   • Ubunzima bokusebenza eqenjini noma isiphathimandla sokuphatha
   • Izinkinga zokulawula ingcindezi emsebenzini

Kubalulekile ukuqaphela ukuthi le miphumela ingahluka ngokuqina nangokubonakala kuye ngabantu ngabanye kanye nolwazi lwempilo.

Indlela yokuphulukisa amanxeba okunamathiselwe ngemva kobudlelwane be-narcissistic?

Nazi izinyathelo okufanele uzilandele ukuze ukwazi ukuphulukisa kulokhu kuphazamiseka kokunamathiselwe:

• Yazi amaphethini akho obudlelwano

Isinyathelo sokuqala ukuhlonza amaphethini akho okunamathiselwe nokuthi angaba nomthelela kanjani ekubeni uhlale ebudlelwaneni obunobuthi. Ngaphandle kokuzibeka icala, kumayelana nokuqonda ubuthakathaka bakho ukuze uzivikele kangcono kubo esikhathini esizayo.

• Sebenza ngokuzethemba

Ama-Narcissistic perverts ahamba phambili ekwehliseni ukuzethemba kozakwethu. Ukwakha kabusha isithombe esihle somuntu siqu kubalulekile ekudaleni ubudlelwano obunempilo. Lokhu kuhlanganisa ukuzizwela, ukuziqinisekisa kanye nokwazisa izimfanelo zomuntu.

• Funda ukubeka imingcele enempilo

Izisulu eziningi zinenkinga yokusungula nokugcina imingcele ecacile ebudlelwaneni babo. Ukwazi ukuthi cha, veza izidingo zakho futhi ungakubekezeleli ukuziphatha okungenanhlonipho kubalulekile ukuze ugweme ukubuyela ezintweni ezinobuthi.

• Thuthukisa ukuzimela kwakho ngokomzwelo

Ukungabe kusancika ekuqinisekisweni kozakwethu ukuze uzizwe ubalulekile kuwumgomo obalulekile. Lokhu kuhlanganisa ukufunda ukuzilawula ngokomzwelo kanye nokuthola eminye imithombo yenhlalakahle nokwaneliseka.

• Xhumana kabusha nemizwa nezidingo zakho

Ubudlelwano beNarcissistic buvame ukuholela ekuzihlukaniseni nemizwa yakho ukuze uphile. Ukufunda ukukhomba nokuveza imizwa nezidingo zangempela kubalulekile ekudaleni ukuxhumana okunempilo.

• Prakthiza ukuqaphela

Izindlela zokuzindla nengqondo zingasiza ekudambiseni ukukhathazeka kokunamathiselwe, uhlale uzinzile okwamanje, futhi uthole umbono kumaphethini obudlelwano obuzenzakalelayo.

Nini ukubonisana nochwepheshe?

Phila kusuka ukulimala Ukunamathelana okujulile akulula ngaso sonke isikhathi kukodwa. Ukubonana nomelaphi okhethekile kungase kube usizo uma:

• Uhlala ukhiqiza amaphethini wobudlelwano obunobuthi obufanayo
• Unenkinga yokwethemba noma ukuzibophezela ebudlelwaneni obusha
• Uhlushwa ukukhathazeka, ukudangala noma ingcindezi yangemva kokuhlukumezeka kulandela ubudlelwano bakho nomuntu ophendukezela i-narcissistic
• Udinga usizo lokuthuthukisa ukuzethemba kwakho kanye namakhono okuqinisekisa

Uchwepheshe angakusiza uhlole amaphethini akho okunamathiselwe ngokujulile futhi uthuthukise amasu amasha, anempilo yobudlelwano.

Ireferensi ye-bibliographic yokuqonda ukuphazamiseka kokunamathiselwe

Nazi izikhombo eziyisikhombisa zebhayibheli esihlokweni sokuphazamiseka kokunamathiselwe, ezikhuluma ngemibono eyahlukene ngale ndaba:

1. Main, M., Solomon, J. (1986). Ukunamathela okungahlelekile nokuziphatha kwabazali.
2. ULyons-Ruth, K., Bronfman, E., & Attwood, G. (1999). Kuphazamiseke amaphethini okuxhumana okuthinta kanye nokungahleleki kokunamathiselwe.
3. I-APA (2000). I-DSM-IV-TR: I-Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.
4. UGilbert, F., kanye noDaffern, M. (2011). Iziyaluyalu zobuntu nobudlova.
5. Bouchard, M., kanye no-Gingras, J. (2007). Izici ze-Psychic kanye nokuphazamiseka kobuntu.
6. Moss, E., Cyr, C., et al. (2005). Ushintsho ukusuka ekungahlelekile kuya ekulawuleni okunamathiselwe ezinganeni zasenkulisa.
7. Inethiwekhi Kazwelonke Yokuhlukumezeka Kwengane Yezingane (nd). Ukuphazamiseka kokunamathiselwe kanye nokuhlangenwe nakho okuhlukumezayo empilweni yokuqala.

Lezi zihloko nezifundo kufanele zikunikeze isisekelo esiqinile sokuhlola isihloko sokuphazamiseka kokunamathiselwe ngaphakathi kohlaka lwesayensi.

Isiphetho: sibheke kokunamathiselwe okusha okuvikelekile

Ukuphulukisa amanxeba akho okunamathiselwe ngemva kobudlelwane nomuntu ophuza i-narcissist kuyinqubo ethatha isikhathi, isineke kanye nokuzihawukela. Ukuqonda ukuthi isipiliyoni sethu sangaphambilini siyilolonge kanjani indlela esihlobana ngayo kuyisinyathelo sokuqala soshintsho.

Ngokuzisebenzela futhi uzijwayeze ukuziphatha okusha kobudlelwane, kungenzeka ukwakha okunamathiselwe okuphephe kakhudlwana. Lokhu kuvula indlela yobudlelwano besikhathi esizayo obunempilo, obugculisayo futhi obusekelwe ekwethembaneni.

Khumbula ukuthi ufanelwe ubudlelwano obunenhlonipho nobunothando. Ngomsebenzi nokusekelwa, kuyenzeka ukuthi unqobe umthelela wobudlelwano be-narcissistic futhi udale ukuxhumana okujulile, okuyiqiniso okulangazelelayo.