Ukwakha kabusha ukuzethemba kwakho ngemva kobudlelwane nomuntu ophendukezela i-narcissistic

Ukuzethemba kuvame ukuthintwa ngokujulile ubudlelwano nomuntu ophendukezela i-narcissistic. Lesi sihloko sihlola ukuthi ukuzethemba kungaqedwa kanjani kulobu budlelwano obunobuthi futhi sinikeza izindlela zokubukwakha kabusha. Uma ungowesifazane owake wabhekana nesimo esinjalo, yazi ukuthi ukuphulukiswa kungenzeka.

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Ukuqonda umthelela we-narcissistic pervert ekuzethembeni

Abaphendukezeli be-Narcissistic banokuzethemba okungazinzile futhi okuhlanekezelwe. Lokhu kungazinzi kwemizwa kubathinta kakhulu abalingani babo.

Ebudlelwaneni ne-narcissist, ukuzethemba kwakho kuhlolwa njalo. Ngokuphambene nenkolelo evamile, abesifazane abaningi bangena kulobu budlelwano ngokuzethemba okunempilo ekuqaleni. Yilokhu kanye okungaheha i-narcissist, ekufuneni “ukunikezwa” nesimo.

Nokho, ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ukuziphatha okunobuthi kwe-narcissistic kuqeda ukuzethemba komlingani wakhe:

• Ukwehla kwenani njalo
• Ukungasebenzi kwemizwa nezidingo
• Ukukhanyisa igesi (ukukhwabanisa kwengqondo)
• Ukubikezela ihlazo
• Isidingo esingafinyeleleki sokuphelela.

Izindlela zokucekela phansi ukuzethemba

Ake sibheke kabanzi izindlela ezahlukene umuntu ohlanekezela ama-narcissistic angaqeda ngazo ukuzethemba kwakho:

• Ukulahlekelwa ubuqiniso

Ukuze “uthandwe” futhi ugweme ukungqubuzana, cishe ufunde ukuzisula futhi ube yilokho umgadli okulindeleke kuwe. Lokhu kulahlekelwa kobuqiniso kwenza buthaka kakhulu ukuzethemba. Ngokulahla imvelo yakho yangempela, kancane kancane ulahlekelwa ukuthintana nezifiso zakho kanye nezifiso zakho.

• Ukwenziwa kwangaphakathi kokugxeka

Ngokuzwa izinkulumo ezingezinhle ngawe, kungenzeka ukuthi ugcine uzifake ngaphakathi. Lawa mazwi angaphakathi abalulekile avame ukuphikelela ngisho nangemva kokuphela kwe ubuhlobo obunobuthi. Ziba yimvelo yesibili, njalo zilulaza ukuzethemba kwakho.

• Ukungabaza okuhlala njalo

Ukukhanyisa igesi kanye nokukhohlisa njalo kubangele ukuba ungabaze ukwahlulela kwakho kanye nemibono yakho. Lokhu kungazethembi kwehlisa ukuzethemba. Ungase uzithole ungabaza ngezinqumo ezilula, uhlale wesaba ukuthi uzokwenza ukukhetha okungalungile.

• Icala

I-narcissistic pervert idlula ubuciko bokusola wena ngazo zonke izinkinga. Lomuzwa wecala uqeda ukuzethemba. Ungagcina usukholelwa ukuthi awukufanelanga okungcono, uzivalele umjikelezo wokuzidelela.

Imiphumela yokucekela phansi ukuzethemba

Ukucekelwa phansi kokuzethemba kunemiphumela ejulile ethinta zonke izici zempilo yomuntu. Le miphumela izibonakalisa kumazinga amaningana:

1. Umthelela ongokwengqondo

• Ukukhathazeka okungapheli
  • Ukwesaba njalo ukwahlulelwa kwabanye
  • Ukulindela ngokweqile izimo zomphakathi
  • Ukuhlaselwa kokukhathazeka njalo
• Ukucindezeleka
  • Umuzwa unomphela wokungafaneleki
  • Ukulahlekelwa isithakazelo emisebenzini eyake yajatshulelwa
  • Imicabango emibi ephindaphindayo
  • Ubunzima bokuhlelela ikusasa
• Ukuphazamiseka kwesithombe somzimba
  • Umbono osontekile ngawe
  • Ukunganeliseki okungapheli ngokubukeka komuntu
  • Ukuziphatha okunxephezela okungenampilo

2. Imiphumela emphakathini

• Ukuzihlukanisa
  • Ukugwema izimo zomphakathi
  • Ubunzima bokugcina ubudlelwano obuhlala njalo
  • Ukuhoxa kancane kancane emibuthanweni yobungane nomndeni
• Izinkinga zobudlelwane
  • Ukuncika okusebenzayo
  • Kunzima ukungena setha imikhawulo
  • Ukuthambekela kokwamukela ubudlelwano obunobuthi
  • ukwesaba ukulahlwa

3. Umthelela wochwepheshe

• Ukusebenza kancane
  • Ubunzima bokuthuthukisa amakhono omuntu
  • I-Imposter syndrome
  • Ukungakwazi ukusebenzisa amathuba
• Ukuma kochwepheshe
  • Ukwesaba ukufaka izicelo zezikhundla eziphezulu
  • Ubunzima bokuxoxisana ngomholo
  • Ukuzicekela phansi engazi lutho

4. Imiphumela yokuziphatha

• Izindlela zokunxeshezelwa
  • Ukulindela ukuphelela ngokweqile
  • Ukusebenza ngokweqile ukufakazela ukubaluleka kwakho
  • Ukuziphatha okuluthayo
• Izinkinga zokuziphatha
  • Ukuthukuthela
  • Ukuhlasela kokuzivikela
  • Ukuziphatha okuzilimazayo

5. Umthelela empilweni yomzimba

• Ukubonakaliswa kweSomatic
  • Ukuphazamiseka kokulala
  • Izinkinga zokugaya
  • Ukuqina kwemisipha okungapheli
  • Ukukhathala okuqhubekayo
• Ukunganakwa kwempilo yomuntu
  • Ukudla okungalungile
  • Ukuntuleka kokuzivocavoca umzimba
  • Ukuhlehliswa kokunakekelwa kwezempilo

Izinselelo zokwakha kabusha

Indlela eya ekwakhiweni kabusha ayihlali iqondile. Nazi izinselelo ongase uhlangane nazo:

• Ukubhekana nokubuyela emuva

Kuvamile ukuthi ukungabaza nemicabango engemihle iphinde ivele ngezinye izikhathi. Yamukela lezi zikhathi ngozwelo, ngaphandle kokuzahlulela. Lezi zibuyekezo zingamathuba okujulisa umsebenzi wakho wokuphulukisa futhi uqinise ukuqina kwakho.

• Ukubhekana necala losindile

Njengoba uthuthuka ekwelapheni kwakho, ungase uzizwe unecala elithile. Khumbula ukuthi unelungelo lokuchuma nokujabula. Leli cala ngokuvamile liwuphawu lokuthi uyasuka emaphethini anobuthi, okuyinto enhle.

• Linganisa kabusha imibono yakho

Amazwi angemuhle angaphakathi angase aqhubeke. Funda ukubabona futhi ubabuze ngomusa. Le nqubo yokulungisa kabusha ithatha ukuzijwayeza, kodwa iba lula ngokuhamba kwesikhathi futhi iqinisa ukuzethemba kwakho okusha.

Ukuze uthole ukuzethemba okunempilo nokuzinzile

Ukuzethemba okunempilo akuhambisani nokuzikholelwa ukuthi uphelele noma uphakeme. Kunalokho, yilokhu:

• Zibone ngokwangempela, ngamandla akho nobuthakathaka bakho
• Zamukele futhi uzazise njengomuntu
• Themba ukwahlulela kwakho nemibono yakho
• Yazi ukuthi ungabeka kanjani imingcele enempilo ebudlelwaneni bakho.

Ireferensi yezincwadi ukuze wakhe kabusha ukuzethemba kwakho

Nazi izikhombo zebhayibheli eziyisikhombisa endikimbeni yokwakha kabusha ukuzethemba:

1. Brisset, C. (2017). Ukuzethemba kanye nokuzithuthukisa komuntu siqu: Amasu namathuluzi okuqinisa ukuzethemba. I-Paris: Éditions Eyrolles.
2. U-Morin, A. (2019). Ukuzethemba: Ukubaluleka kokuzibona ekuzithuthukiseni komuntu siqu. EBrussels: De Boeck Supérieur.
3. Meyer, M. (2018). Ukwakha kabusha ukuzethemba kwakho: Izindlela zokwelapha kanye nezinqubo zengqondo. Paris: Éditions Dunod.
4. ULépine, M. (2015). Ukuzethemba: Ukuqonda nokunqoba izithiyo zakho. I-Paris: Editions Leduc.s.
5. Perrin, C. (2016). Ukuzethemba: Indaba yokwelapha. Toulouse: Éditions Erès.
6. U-Fuchs, C. (2020). Umthelela wokuzethemba empilweni yengqondo: Izindlela zengqondo. I-Lyon: I-Éditions Chronique Sociale.
7. U-Leroy, S. (2014). Ukuzethemba nokuqina: Indlela eya ekugcwalisekeni. I-Paris: Izinguqulo ze-Payot.

Lezi zincwadi zinikeza ukuqonda kwesayensi nokusebenzayo ngendikimba yokuzethemba kanye nezindlela zokukuqinisa.

Isiphetho: inqubo yokuphulukisa eyingqayizivele

Umzila ngamunye we ukuphulukiswa ihlukile. Ubude nokuqina kobudlelwano nomuntu ophendukezela i-narcissistic, kanye neminyaka yakho ngesikhathi semicimbi, kuthonya inqubo yokwakha kabusha.

Yiba nesineke futhi ube nomusa kuwe. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ukusekelwa kanye nomsebenzi womuntu siqu, kungenzeka ukubuyisela ukuzethemba okuzinzile nokwanelisayo. Ufanelwe ukuphinde uxhumane nenani lakho langempela futhi uphile impilo eyiqiniso nokuthula.

Khumbula: inani lakho langaphakathi alikaze lishintshe. Kwamane kwasithwa ubuhlobo obunobuthi. Ngokuzinakekela futhi uzizungezile nabantu abakhathalelayo, kancane kancane uzophinde uthole ukukhanya kwakho kwangaphakathi.