Ukuphathwa kwengqondo: incazelo, amasu, kanye nezibonelo eziqondile

Ushiya ingxoxo uzizwa sengathi unikezele ngaphandle kokwazi ukuthi kungani. Uxolisa ngezinto ongazenzanga. Ungabaza inkumbulo yakho, imizwa yakho, ngezinye izikhathi ngisho nokubaluleka kwakho. Uma lezi zimo zikuthinta, ungase ubhekane ne- ukuxhashazwa kwengqondo.

Leli gama livame ukusetshenziswa kabi. Kodwa-ke, ngemuva kwalo kukhona indlela eqondile engafundwa futhi iqashelwe. Kulesi sihloko, sizonikeza incazelo ecacile, sibukeze amasu avame kakhulu, sibonise ngalinye ngesibonelo esiqondile, bese sibona ukuthi ungazivikela kanjani.

Ukuphathwa kwengqondo: incazelo elula

Ukukhohlisa kuwukuzama ukuthola okuthile kothile. ngaphandle kokudlula ngemvume yakhe yamahhalaUmkhohlisi akaceli ngokuqondile, futhi akakhohlisi ngezimpikiswano eziqotho: uyagwema ukwahlulela kwakho. Udlala ngemizwa yakho (ukwesaba, umuzwa wecala, amahloni, isidingo sokuthandwa) ukuze ukholwe ukuthi ukhethe ngokukhululeka lokho akuqondisile, empeleni.

Kumelwe sihlukanise phakathi kokukhohlisa kanye nethonya elivamile. Sonke siyathonyana njalo: umngane oncoma incwadi, osebenza naye evikela iphrojekthi yabo emhlanganweni. Umehluko usezicini ezintathu:

• Ukungafihli : ithonya liqondile mayelana nomgomo walo (“Ngingathanda ukuthi uze”), ukukhohlisa kuwukufihla.
• Ukuhlonipha ukwenqatshwa : “cha” iyamukelwa ebudlelwaneni obunempilo; kumuntu okhohlisayo, kubangela ingcindezi, ukucasuka noma isijeziso.
• Inzuzo : ukukhohlisa cishe njalo kufeza izithakazelo zomuntu oyedwa, okulimaza omunye.

Ukuze uhlole lo mqondo kabanzi, ungafunda isihloko sethu ku- umugqa phakathi kwethonya kanye nokukhohlisa.

Ukuphathwa kwesikhashana noma uhlelo lokuphathwa kwesikhashana?

Wonke umuntu angalawula izinto ngolunye usuku, ngokuba namahloni noma ukwesaba. Okufanele kukuxwayise yilokhu uphinda futhi ukuhlelwa kwesistimuUma izindlela ezifanayo ziphindaphindwa ngokungapheli, lapho zikuhlukanisa futhi zikwenza buthaka, akuseyona indaba yokuphambuka kodwa kuyindlela yokuziphatha. Yilokhu isazi sezifo zengqondo uMarie-France Hirigoyen akuchaze njengobudlova obuhlanekezelwe bansuku zonke: ukulandelana kokuhlaselwa okuncane, ngakunye okubonakala kungenangozi, ekugcineni okubhubhisa umuntu oqondiwe.

Uma ufuna ukuqonda kangcono iphrofayili yomuntu osebenzisa lezi zindlela ngokuphindaphindiwe, ikhasi lethu I-Manipulator: Incazelo kanye ne-Portrait Qedela lo mhlahlandlela.

Izinhlobo ezahlukene zokukhohlisa

Izinqubo zokukhohlisa zingahlukaniswa zibe imindeni emine eyinhloko. Zivame ukuhlangana, okwenza kube nzima ukuzibona ngaleso sikhathi.

1. Ukuxhaphaza imizwelo

Udlala ngemizwa yakho ukuze anciphise ukucabanga kwakho. Izinto ezivame kakhulu ukuba nomuzwa wecala (“ngemuva kwakho konke engikwenzele kona …”), ukwesaba (“uma uhamba, ngeke usabona muntu”) kanye namahloni (“awunamahloni yini ngokusabela kanje?”).

Ngokwesibonelo Umemezela ukuthi uzochitha impelasonto kwadadewenu. Umlingani wakho akaphikisi obala, kodwa uyabubula, uthi “bakhathele,” bese ekhuluma ngesizungu sabo. Ugcina usuhoxile, uqiniseka ukuthi kwakuyicebo lakho.

2. Ukulawulwa Kokuqonda

Kuhlasela umbono wakho ngeqiniso. ukukhanyisa igesi Indlela eyaziwa kakhulu yalokhu ukuphika amaqiniso, ukubhala kabusha izingxoxo, ukukwenza ukholelwe ukuthi uyeqisa noma ulahlekelwa yinkumbulo yakho. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ulahlekelwa ukholo ekwahluleleni kwakho. Sihlanganise izibonelo eziningi esihlokweni sethu mayelana imishwana ejwayelekile yokukhanyisa igesi.

Ngokwesibonelo “Angikaze ngisho lokho. Uyaqamba amanga futhi. Kufanele ubonane nodokotela, ngokweqiniso.”

3. Ukuphathwa kabi kobudlelwano

Kuthinta umbuthano wakho wokuxhumana nabantu kanye nendawo yakho eqenjini: ukuhlukaniswa kancane kancane, ukuhlukaniswa (okubandakanya umuntu wesithathu ukudala umona noma umbango), kanye nokululazwa kwalabo abaseduze nawe. Umgomo uwukuthi uthembele kakhulu emthonjeni owodwa wokuqinisekisa.

Ngokwesibonelo : umlingani wakho ulokhu ethi abangani bakho “abakuthandi ngempela” futhi ubika izinto abangazange bazisho.

4. Ukukhohlisa ngokuyenga nomvuzo

Yiyona edida kakhulu, ngoba ifana nothando. thanda amabhomu Ekuqaleni kobudlelwano, ukuncoma ngokweqile kanye nezipho ngemva kwengxabano kuyimivuzo edala ukunamathelana okukhulu kanye nohlobo lwesikweletu esingokomzwelo.

Ngokwesibonelo Ngemva kobusuku bokusola, kufika isixha sezimbali kanye nomyalezo onomusa kakhulu ngakusasa ekuseni. Uzitshela ukuthi, “Izinto zizolunga.”

Amasu okuphatha avame kakhulu

Nazi izindlela ezivame kakhulu ezisetshenziswa abantu abakhohlisayo. Akukho neyodwa kubo eyanele ukubiza othile ngegama. Ukuqongelela kwabo okufanele kuphakamise ifulege elibomvu.

• Ukubopha okuphindwe kabili Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi usabela kanjani, kuzoba kubi. Uma ukhuluma, “uxokozela”; uma uthula, “uyacasuka”.
• Ukungacaci ngamabomu Izimpendulo ezingacacile, izithembiso ezingakaze ziphelelwe yisikhathi, izinguquko zengqondo ngaphandle kwencazelo. Usala ulindile.
• Ukuguqulwa kwendima : uzele ukuzozwakalisa ubuhlungu, bese uhamba usuxolisile.
• Ukuthula okujezisayo Ukungamnaki omunye umuntu amahora noma izinsuku ukuze avume. Sixoxa ngalokhu ngokuningiliziwe esihlokweni sethu mayelana ukwelashwa buthule.
• Ukuhlaselwa okuncane “Amahlaya” amancane, ahlekisayo, ahlazisayo. Ngayinye ibonakala ingabalulekile, kodwa ingqikithi yayo iyabhubhisa. Bheka futhi ukwehla kwenani kwansuku zonke.
• Unyawo emnyango : ukuthola “yebo” omncane, bese kuba mkhulu, bese kuba mkhulu nakakhulu, uze ushiye izinto ezibalulekile ungaqapheli.
• Ukujwayela “Uhlala unjalo,” “Awukaze wenze lutho.” Ukuhlanjalazwa kuba yinto ebonakala sengathi ungubani.

Izici eziyisithupha zomuntu okhohlisayo

Ngaphandle kokuthi banikeza ukuxilongwa, okulandelayo kuvame ukubonwa kuma-manipulators angamahlalakhona:

1. Inkulumo eshintshashintshayo kuye ngokuthi umuntu okhulunywa naye uthini. Kuhle emphakathini, kubanda ngasese.
2. Ukungakwazi ukubona amaphutha omuntu Icala lihlala lilele kwabanye.
3. Ukusetshenziswa kwesu lokuzizwa unecala : uhlala uzizwa unesikweletu.
4. Ukungacabangeli izidingo zakho : imizwa yakho incishisiwe noma iyahlekwa.
5. Isidingo sokulawula : ngemali, ukuphuma, ukuxhumana nabantu, ucingo.
6. Ukuxhumana okungaqondile : izincazelo, imiyalezo edluliselwa ngabantu besithathu, izinto ezingakhulunywa.

Uma lezi zici zihambisana nesidingo sokunconywa kanye nokuntuleka kozwela, ukuziphatha kusondela okuchazwe njengokuphambuka kokuzikhukhumeza. Isihloko sethu umuntu okhohlisayo futhi ozikhukhumezayo Lesi sixhumanisi sinikeza imininingwane.

Lapho ukukhohlisa kuba ubudlova obungokwengqondo

Ebudlelwaneni, ukukhohlisa okuphindaphindiwe kungaba yinto yangempela ukuhlukunyezwa ngokomzweloAbacwaningi babiza lokhu ngokuthi “ukulawula okuphoqelelayo”: isethi yezindlela zokuziphatha (ukuzihlukanisa, ukuqapha, ukuhlazeka, izinsongo) ezibamba isisulu ebuhlotsheni, ngezinye izikhathi ngaphandle kobudlova obungokomzimba. Ukuhlaziywa okwanyatheliswa ngo-2024 kumagazini Ubudlova Kwabesifazane kugcizelela lesi sici sokuvalelwa okuqhubekayo, okungokwengqondo, kwezenhlalo kanye nezinto ezibonakalayo.

EFrance, ukuhlukunyezwa kwengqondo phakathi kwabashadile kuyaqashelwa ngumthetho futhi kungabikwa. Ikhasi elisemthethweni le-Service-Public elizinikele odlameni lwasekhaya lichaza izinyathelo ezingase zithathwe kanye nezinombolo zokuxhumana okufanele zifinyelelwe.

Uma uzizwa usengozini, shayela i- 3919 (Ulwazi Lodlame Lwabesifazane, olumahhala nolungaziwa), 17 (izinsizakalo eziphuthumayo zamaphoyisa) noma 112 (Isimo esiphuthumayo saseYurophu). Ungathumela futhi umlayezo wombhalo ku-114 uma ungakwazi ukukhuluma.

Indlela yokusabela ekuphathweni kabi: izinyathelo ezingu-7

Awukwazi ukushintsha i-manipulator. Kodwa-ke, unganciphisa ukubamba kwayo phezu kwakho. Nansi indlela yesinyathelo ngesinyathelo:

1. Qamba ukuthi kwenzekani. Bhala phansi isimo, amagama aqondile, nalokho okuzwile. Ukukusho ngamazwi sekuyindlela yokubuyisa amandla.
2. Gcina incwadi yezenzakalo. Bhala phansi izinsuku namaqiniso. Lokhu kuzokuvikela ekushisweni yigesi futhi kuzoba usizo uma kwenzeka udinga ukulwela amalungelo akho.
3. Ungazithetheleli zonke izinto. Uma uchaza kakhulu, ubanikeza amandla amaningi. Umusho omfushane wanele: “Angivumelani” noma “Ngizocabanga ngakho.”
4. Zinike isikhathi ngaphambi kokuphendula. Ukukhwabanisa kuncike ekudaleni umuzwa wokuphuthuma. “Ngizokuphendula kusasa” kuyimpendulo efanele.
5. Hlala ugxile emaqinisweni. Ungadonseleki ezimpikiswaneni ezingapheli mayelana nezinhloso noma ubuntu bakho.
6. Yakha kabusha ukuxhumana nomhlaba wangaphandle. Xhumana kabusha nomngane, isihlobo, noma umngane. Umbono wangaphandle uyikhambi elinamandla.
7. Thola umuntu ozohamba nawe. Uchwepheshe wezempilo, ummeli, inhlangano yokusekela izisulu, noma umqeqeshi oqeqeshwe kulezi zimo angakusiza ukuthi uthole ukucaca.

Ukuze ufunde kabanzi, bheka umhlahlandlela wethu. Ungaba kanjani namandla kune-manipulator inikeza izixazululo eziqondile zokusetshenziswa kwansuku zonke.

Kungani kunzima kangaka ukuqaphela lokhu?

Uma uzisola ngokuthi “ungakubonanga” kusenesikhathi, yiba nomusa kuwe. Ukukhohlisa kusebenza kahle ngoba kucashile futhi kuhamba kancane kancane. Kuncike ezimfanelweni ezithile: ukwethembeka kwakho, uzwela lwakho, isifiso sakho sokuba ubuhlobo busebenze. Kuphinde kushintshe phakathi kwezikhathi ezinzima nezithambile, okugcina ithemba liphila.

Kuvamile ukuqaphela isimo kuphela lapho umshini wokulawula uhamba noma uhamba. Uma lokhu kuyindaba yakho, lesi sihloko lapho i-manipulator ihamba ngokuqinisekile uzokwazi ukukusiza uqonde ukuthi ubhekene nani.

Imibuzo fréquentes

Yiziphi izimpawu ezikhohlisayo kakhulu?

Izimpawu eziveza kakhulu ukukhubeka ngokuphindaphindiwe, ukuphika izehlakalo oye wabhekana nazo, ukuguqulwa kwendima (uhlala uxolisa), kanye nokuzihlukanisa nabantu abakuzungezile.

Ingabe ukukhohlisa ingqondo kuyajeziswa ngumthetho?

Ukukhohlisa ngokwakho akulona icala, kodwa imiphumela yako ingaba: ukuhlukunyezwa kwengqondo, okuhlanganisa naphakathi kwababili, kanye nezinye izinhlobo zokuhlukumeza kuyaqashelwa ngaphansi komthetho waseFrance. Ummeli noma inhlangano yokusekela izisulu ingakuqondisa.

Ingabe umuntu okhohlisayo uyazi ukuthi uyakhohlisa?

Hhayi ngaso sonke isikhathi ngamabomu. Abanye abantu bafunda la maqhinga kusenesikhathi futhi bawasebenzise ngokuzikhandla. Lokhu akunciphisi umthelela wawo kuwe, noma ilungelo lakho lokuzivikela.

Ungakwazi yini ukululama ebudlelwaneni obukhohlisayo?

Yebo. Kuthatha isikhathi, kodwa ukuphinda uqiniseke ekwahluleleni kwakho kungenzeka, ikakhulukazi ngokusekelwa okufanele. Uma ubhekene nokukhathazeka, ukuqwasha, noma izimpawu zokucindezeleka, khuluma nodokotela wakho noma isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo.

Ngokufingqa

Ukulawula ingqondo akuyona into engenakugwenywa. Kuncike ezindleleni ezibonakala kalula: ukudlala ngemizwa yakho, ukufiphaza ukuqonda kwakho, ukukuhlukanisa, nokukuvuza ngezikhathi ezithile. Ukuzazi kuyisinyathelo sokuqala sokuzikhulula. Qhubekela phambili ngejubane lakho, zizungeze ngokusekelwa, futhi ukhumbule ukuthi imizwa yakho iyasebenza.

Uma udinga ukwesekwa ukuze uqonde isimo sakho futhi wakhe kabusha isimo sakho, ungathola ukwesekwa okunikezwa izisulu zabahlukumezi abazikhukhumezayo.

Imithombo

• UMarie-France Hirigoyen, Ukuhlukunyezwa kokuziphatha: ubudlova obuhlanekezelwe nsuku zonke, uSyros, 1998.
• UTolmie J. nabanye, “Ukuqonda Udlame Lomlingani Oseduze: Kungani Ukulawula Okuphoqelelayo Kudinga Uhlaka Lokubanjwa Komphakathi Noluhlelekile,” Ubudlova Kwabesifazane2024: I-PMC10666472
• I-Service-Public.fr, “Udlame Lwasekhaya”: isevisi-public.gouv.fr

Izinombolo zocingo ezithi 17, 3114 no-3919 ezishiwo kuleli khasi zisebenza ezinsizeni zaseFrance.