Ukungazinzi ngokomzwelo kwabazali: Ifa elinemiphumela emibi

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Ukungazinzi ngokomzwelo kwabazali kuyisimo esiyinkimbinkimbi esingaba nemiphumela ejulile nehlala njalo ekukhuleni kwengqondo nemizwa yengane. Lokhu kuntengantenga kuzibonakalisa ngezindlela ezihlukahlukene futhi kungaholela ingane ekuthuthukiseni izindlela zokubhekana nesimo, okuthi nakuba ivikela ekuqaleni, ingaba yinkinga lapho isikhulile, ikakhulukazi esimweni sobudlelwane obunobuthi noma nabaphendukezeli be-narcissistic.

Ubukeka kanjani umuntu ongazinzile ngokomzwelo?

Umuntu ongazinzile ngokomzwelo angase abonise izici ezimbalwa:

  • Ukushintsha kwemizwa ngokushesha nokushubile
  • Ukusabela kwemizwa akulingani nezimo
  • Ubunzima bokuphatha ukucindezeleka nokukhathazeka
  • Ukuthambekela kokuthatheka ezinqumweni nasezenzweni
  • Ubudlelwano obunesiphithiphithi noma obushayisanayo
  • a isithombe sakho ukungazinzile noma ukuntuleka komuzwa wobuwena
  • Izinkathi zokucindezeleka noma euphoria
  • a hypersensitivity ukugxekwa noma ukwenqatshwa
  • Ukuziphatha okuzilimazayo

Ukungazinzi ngokomzwelo kungaxhunyaniswa nokuphazamiseka kwengqondo okuhlukahlukene, kodwa futhi kungaba okwesikhashana ngenxa yokucindezeleka.

UCristina unikeza iseshini yomuntu ngamunye ukukusiza uphume ekulawulweni okuhlukumezayo futhi wakhe impilo yakho kabusha.

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Umzali odangele

Ukucindezeleka kwabazali kungaba nomthelela omkhulu ekuguquguqukeni komndeni nasenhlalakahleni engokomzwelo yengane. Lezi zimpawu ezilandelayo zivame ukubonwa kumzali ophethwe ukucindezeleka:

    • Isimo sengqondo esiphansi njalo nokuntuleka kwamandla
    • Ukuhoxa kaningi ngokomzwelo nangokomzimba
    • Izinkulumo zokuphelelwa ithemba noma ukungabi nakuzisiza
    • Ukunganakwa kwemisebenzi yabazali eyisisekelo.

Umzali okhathazekile

Ukukhathazeka kwabazali kungadalela ingane isimo esishubile nesingaqiniseki, kuthonye umbono wayo ngezwe. Nazi izindlela zokuziphatha zomzali okhathazekile:

    • Ukukhathazeka ngokweqile nokuqhubekayo
    • Ukuvikela ngokweqile noma ukuziphatha okulawulayo
    • Ukusabela okungafani ezimweni ezingathi shu
    • Ukudluliswa kokwesaba okungenangqondo ngomlomo nangokungakhulumi.

Umzali ongumlutha wotshwala noma umlutha

Ukulutheka kwabazali kungaholela esimweni sezulu somkhaya esinesiphithiphithi futhi esingalindelekile, kuthinte ngokujulile umuzwa wokulondeka wengane. Izici ezilandelayo zivame ukuba khona kulezi zimo:

    • Ukuziphatha okungalindelekile nokushintshayo
    • Ukushintshashintsha phakathi kwezinkathi zokunethezeka nokudakwa
    • Ukunganakwa kwezibopho zabazali
    • Ukuba khona kwe-taboo yomndeni mayelana nokulutha.

Umthelela wokuqala enganeni: Ukuzivumelanisa nezimo zengqondo nokuziphatha

Umthelela wokuqala enganeni ungaba ujulile, okuholela ekuzivumelaniseni okuphawulekayo kwengqondo nokuziphatha okwakha ukukhula kwayo kwekusasa.

  1. Ukubhekana nomzali odangele:
    • Ukucindezelwa kwezidingo zomuntu siqu ezingokomzwelo
    • Ukuthuthukiswa kwendima “yomzali omncane” noma “umsindisi”.
    • Icala ngenxa yezikhathi zomuntu zenjabulo noma zokunganaki
    • I-hypervigilance ekushintsheni kwemizwa yomzali
  2. Ebhekene nomzali okhathazekile :
    • Ukuthuthukiswa kwe-hypersensitivity kumasignali okucindezeleka
    • Ukufakwa kwangaphakathi kokwesaba nokukhathazeka kwabazali
    • Umkhawulo wokuhlola nokuzimela
    • Ukuzizwa njalo kwengozi noma ukungavikeleki
  3. Ukubhekana nomzali ongumlutha wotshwala noma umlutha :
    • Ukuthuthukisa amakhono “wonwabu olungokomzwelo”.
    • I-hypervigilance emvelweni ukulindela izinkinga
    • Ukufunda ukunciphisa izidingo zakho
    • Ukudideka phakathi kokujwayelekile nokungajwayelekile ebudlelwaneni

Imiphumela engokwengqondo yesikhathi eside yokungazinzi ngokomzwelo kwabazali

Ukungazinzi ngokomzwelo kwabazali kungashiya imithelela ejulile ekukhuleni kwengqondo, okufana nalokhu:

  1. Ukuthuthukiswa komuntu wamanga :
    • Ukudala Umuntu Ovumelana Nezimo ukuze Usinde Ngokomzwelo
    • Ubunzima bokubona nokuveza imizwa nezidingo zangempela
  2. Izinkinga zokuzethemba :
    • Imizwa engapheli yokungafaneleki noma ukungafaneleki
    • Ukuthambekela kokuzibeka icala ngezinkinga zomkhaya
  3. Ukukhathazeka nokudangala :
    • Ukufakwa ngaphakathi kwamaphethini omzali wokungazinzi ngokomzwelo
    • Ubunzima bokulawula imizwa yomuntu siqu
  4. Ukuzimela :
    • Isidingo esiyimpoqo sokunakekela abanye ngokuzilimaza wena
    • Ubunzima bokusungula imingcele enempilo ebuhlotsheni
  5. Izinkinga zokunamathisela :
    • Ukuthuthukiswa kwezitayela zokunamathisela ezingavikelekile (ezikhathazekile noma ezigwemayo).
    • Ukwesaba ukulahlwa noma ukusondelana ebudlelwaneni babantu abadala.

Isixhumanisi sobudlelwano obunobuthi lapho usumdala

Kubalulekile ukuqonda isixhumanisi sokungazinzi ngokomzwelo kwabazali nobudlelwano obunobuthi.

  1. Ukukhiqizwa kabusha kwamaphethini omndeni :
    • Ukukhangwa ongazinzile kozakwethu abangazinzile ngokomzwelo
    • Ukuthambekela kokudlala kabusha indima “yomsindisi” noma “isizinzisi”
  2. Ukwenyuka kokubekezelela ukuziphatha okuhlukumezayo :
    • Ukujwayela kobudlelwano obuyizinxushunxushu noma obungalindelekile
    • Ubunzima bokubona izimpawu zobudlelwano obunempilo
  3. kwencika ngokomzwelo :
    • Isidingo esikhulu sokuqinisekisa nokugunyazwa kwangaphandle
    • Ukwesaba okukhubazayo kokulahlwa okuholela ekubekezeleleni okungamukeleki
  4. Ubunzima bokusungula nokugcina imingcele :
    • Ukudideka phakathi kothando nokuzidela
    • Icala lapho ugcizelela izidingo zomuntu

Ukuba sengozini okukhethekile kwabaphendukezeli be-narcissistic

  1. Ukuphelelisana kwezidingo :
    • Isidingo sengane “sokulondoloza” noma “sokulungisa” umzali ongazinzile sifana nesidingo somqaphi sokunakwa nokuqinisekiswa.
    • I-Codependency Tendency Feza Isidingo Sokuxhashazwa SakwaNarcissist
    • Sicela abantu kuphakela umjolo
  2. Ukujwayelana nokungazinzi :
    • Ukushintsha kwe-narcissist nokuziphatha okungalindelekile kungase kubonakale “kujwayelekile” kumuntu okhule nomzali ongazinzile.
  3. Ukuba sengcupheni ekuphathweni kwemizwa :
    • Ukuqapha ngokweqile ngokomzwelo okuthuthukiswe ebuntwaneni kwenza umuntu azwele kakhudlwana kumasu okukhohlisa e-narcissist
    • Ukuthambekela kokuzigxeka kwenza kube lula ukukhanya kwegesi nezinye izinhlobo zokuxhaphaza ngokwengqondo.
  4. Ukukhangwa ukushuba kwemizwa :
    • Umjikelezo we-narcissist’s idealization/devaluation ungaveza kabusha ukungazinzi okujwayelekile kwemizwa kwasebuntwaneni
    • Ukudideka phakathi kokuqina kwemizwa nokujula kobudlelwano
  5. Ubunzima bokubona ukuhlukumeza :
    • Ejwayele ukubeka izidingo zabanye kuqala, umuntu angase abe nobunzima bokubona lapho kwephulwa imingcele yakhe.
    • Ukuthambekela kokuthethelela noma ukunciphisa ukuziphatha okuhlukumezayo kwe-narcissist

Ireferensi yezincwadi zokungaqini kahle kwemizwa yabazali

Nazi izikhombo eziyisikhombisa zebhayibhili ngendaba yokungaqini kahle kwemizwa yabazali:

  1. U-Gendreau, L., & Bouchard, C. (2007). Imizwa yabazali kanye nomthelela wabo ekukhuleni kwengane. MultiMondes Editions.
  2. Côté, JE, & Leclerc, C. (2012). Imiphumela yokungazinzi ngokomzwelo kwabazali ekulungiseni izingane ezingokwengqondo. Ijenali yePsychology and Psychopathology.
  3. Dufour, S., & Bouchard, C. (2015). Umthelela wemizwa yabazali ku-dynamics yomndeni. Psychology and Development.
  4. Sénécal, J., & Fecteau, S. (2014). Ukungazinzi ngokomzwelo kwabazali kanye nomthelela wako empilweni yengqondo yezingane. Ijenali Yezempilo Yengqondo.
  5. Thibault, M. (2016). Parenting and emotions: ucwaningo lokungazinzi ngokomzwelo kanye nomthelela wako emfundweni yezingane. Psychology Notebooks.
  6. U-Vallée, M., & Lemieux, M. (2018). Indima yemizwa yomzali ekukhuleni kwemizwelo yezingane. Psychology and Childhood.
  7. I-Goulet, L., & Charbonneau, A. (2020). Ukungazinzi ngokomzwelo kubazali kanye nemiphumela yako ekuziphatheni kwezingane: ukubuyekezwa kwezincwadi. Ijenali ekhuluma isiFulentshi ye-Health Psychology.

Lezi zikhombo kufanele zikunikeze isifinyezo esihle socwaningo lokungazinzi kwemizwa yabazali.

Isiphetho

Ukungazinzi ngokomzwelo kwabazali kushiya iminonjana ejulile engaba nomthelela omkhulu empilweni yobudlelwano lapho umuntu esemdala. Idala inhlabathi evundile ikakhulukazi yokuthuthukiswa kobudlelwano obunobuthi, ikakhulukazi nabahlanekezeli be-narcissistic. Kodwa-ke, ukuqaphela lezi zinguquko kuvula indlela yokusebenza ekwelapheni nasekuguquleni komuntu siqu.

Ngokuqonda ukuthi okwedlule kuye kwalolonga kanjani ukuthambekela kobudlelwano bethu, singaqala ukwenza izinqumo eziqaphela kakhulu, ezinempilo. Ukuphulukisa kuyinqubo ethatha isikhathi, isineke kanye nokwesekwa kochwepheshe.

Zonke izinyathelo eziya ekuziqondeni kangcono kanye nokusungula ubudlelwano obunempilo kuwukunqoba hhayi nje komuntu ngamunye, kodwa nasezizukulwaneni ezizayo. Ngokuphulukisa izilonda zethu zobuntwana, sidala ithuba lekusasa lobudlelwano elizinze kakhulu neligculisayo kithina nakulabo abasizungezile.

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