Ubudlelwano nomuntu ohlanekezelekayo we-narcissistic bungafaka owesifazane esimweni sokudideka kwengqondo okujulile. Lokhu kudideka akugcini nje ngokubuhlungu, kodwa futhi kuvimbela inqubo yokuphulukisa. Lesi sihloko sihlose ukusiza abesifazane baqonde ukudideka kwengqondo futhi bathole indlela eya ekwelapheni.
Ukudideka kwengqondo: isikhali esesabekayo se-narcissistic pervert
Ukudideka kwengqondo kungomunye wemiphumela elimaza kakhulu yobudlelwano nomuntu ophendukezela i-narcissistic. Kuzibonakalisa njengomuzwa oqhubekayo wokudideka, ukungabaza kanye nokungaqiniseki ngobuqiniso bezehlakalo abahlangabezana nazo.
I-narcissistic pervert isebenzisa amasu ahlukahlukene ukutshala ukudideka:
UCristina unikeza iseshini yomuntu ngamunye ukukusiza uphume ekulawulweni okuhlukumezayo futhi wakhe impilo yakho kabusha.
- Le ukukhanyisa igesi, okuhlanganisa ukuphika noma ukuhlanekezela iqiniso
- Ukushintshana phakathi kwe-idealization kanye nokwehliswa kwamanani
- Izithembiso eziphuliwe (future fake)
- Ukuqamba amanga nokukhohlisa
- La ukuxolisa, okubandakanya ukubandakanya abanye abantu ebudlelwaneni
Lokhu kudideka akuwona umthelela oseceleni, kodwa isu lamabomu le-narcissistic pervert ukugcina ukulawula kwakhe.
Bona izimpawu zokudideka kwengqondo kuzisulu
Kubalulekile ukukhomba izimpawu zokudideka kwengqondo ukuze ubhekane nakho. Nazi izinkomba ezijwayelekile:
- Ubunzima bokwenza izinqumo, ngisho nezilula
- Ukuzibuza njalo imibono yomuntu siqu
- Ukuzizwa “ukulahlekelwa umqondo” noma “ukuhlanya”
- Ubunzima bokugxila noma ukukhumbula imininingwane
- Ukuthambekela kokuzikhanyisa ngegesi (ukuzikholisa ukuthi inkinga iqhamuka kuwena)
- Ukulahlekelwa ukuzethemba kuwena kanye nokwahlulela kwakho
Ukuqaphela lezi zimpawu kuyisinyathelo sokuqala sokwelapha.
Imithelela yokudideka kwengqondo empilweni yansuku zonke
Ukudideka kwengqondo kuthinta zonke izici zokuphila kowesifazane isisulu somuntu ophendukezela i-narcissistic :
- Impilo yobungcweti: ukwehla kokukhiqiza, ubunzima bokugxila
- Ubudlelwano bomphakathi: ukuzihlukanisa, ukungathembi abanye
- Impilo yomzimba: ukuphazamiseka kokulala, izinkinga zokugaya ukudla, ukukhathala okungapheli
- Impilo yengqondo: ukukhathazeka, ukucindezeleka, izinkinga zokuzethemba
Ukuqonda le mithelela kusivumela ukuthi sikuqonde kangcono ukuphuthuma kokuphuma kulokhu kudideka.
Amasu okuphuma ekudidekeni kwengqondo
Ukuphuma ekudidekeni kwengqondo kuyinqubo ethatha isikhathi nomzamo, kodwa kungenzeka. Nawa amasu asebenzayo:
- Gcina ijenali: ukubhala phansi imicimbi kukusiza ukuthi ulandelele iqiniso.
- Prakthiza ukuzinza: phinde ugxile kwamanje usebenzisa izinzwa zakho.
- Bheka ubufakazi: qoqa ubufakazi obuphathekayo bokuziphatha okuhlukumezayo.
- Zizungeze nabantu obathembayo: yabelana ngolwazi lwakho nabathandekayo bakho abakhathalelayo.
- Bona uchwepheshe: uchwepheshe wezokwelapha anganikeza ukwesekwa okubalulekile.
Lawa maqhinga akuvumela ukuthi uthole kancane kancane umbono ocacile weqiniso.
Ukubaluleka kokuqinisekiswa kwangaphandle ohlelweni lokuphulukisa
Ukuqinisekisa kwangaphandle kudlala indima ebalulekile ekwelapheni. Kuyasiza ukulwa nemiphumela yokukhanyisa igesi futhi kubuyisele ukuzethemba ekwahluleleni komuntu siqu. Lokhu kuqinisekisa kungavela emithonjeni ehlukene:
- Ukuqonda abangani nomndeni
- Amaqembu okusekela izisulu zama-narcissistic perverts
- Ochwepheshe bezempilo yengqondo ezikhethekile
- Ukufundwa ngesihloko (izincwadi, izihloko, ubufakazi)
Ukuqinisekiswa ngakunye kokuhlangenwe nakho kwakho kuyisinyathelo esiya ekwelapheni.
Indima yokwelapha ekwelapheni ukudideka kwengqondo
Ukwelashwa kuyithuluzi elinamandla lokunqoba ukudideka kwengqondo. Umelaphi okhethekile angakwazi:
- Ukusiza ekuhlukaniseni iqiniso namanga kokuhlangenwe nakho okuphilayo
- Ukuhlinzeka ngamathuluzi okuphatha ukukhathazeka nokudangala
- Sebenza ngokuzethemba nokuziqinisekisa
- Ukwesekwa enqubweni yokudabuka yobudlelwano
Kubalulekile ukukhetha umelaphi oqeqeshwe emibhalweni ethile yokuhlukunyezwa kwe-narcissistic.
Misa imingcele enempilo ukuze uvimbele ukudideka okuzayo
Ukuze ugweme ukubuyela ekudidekeni, kubalulekile ukumisa imingcele enempilo:
- Funda ukwenqaba futhi ubeke imingcele ecacile
- Qaphela izimpawu eziyisixwayiso zokukhohlisa
- Prakthiza ukulalela imibono nemizwa yakho
- Gcina ibanga elingokomzwelo kubantu abanobuthi
- Hlakulela ukuzimela kwakho nokuzimela
Le mingcele isebenza njengesihlangu emizamweni ezayo ukuxhaphaza.
Ukubaluleka kokusekelwa komphakathi enqubweni yokwelapha
Ukwesekwa komphakathi kuyinsika yokwelapha. Ikuvumela ukuthi:
- Hlukanisa ukuzihlukanisa okuvame ukubekwa yi-narcissistic pervert
- Thola imibono yangaphandle ngesimo
- Thola induduzo nesikhuthazo
- Yabelana ngezinsiza namasu nabanye abasindile
Ungawabukeli phansi amandla obumbano phakathi kwabesifazane abanolwazi olufanayo.
I-bibliographic reference yokwelapha ukudideka kwengqondo
Nazi izikhombo zebhayibheli zesayensi eziyisikhombisa ngesiFulentshi mayelana nokudideka kwengqondo:
- Chaslin, P. (1912). Ukudideka kwengqondo kwasekuqaleni. Paris: Alcan.
- Eya, H., Bernard, P., & Brissett, C. (1989). Imanuwali yePsychiatry (6th ed.). EParis: Masson.
- Baruk, H. (1958). Ukwelapha ngezifo zengqondo (Umqulu I). EParis: Masson.
- Azorin, J.-M., Dasa, D., Tramoni, V., Peretti, P., & Donnet, A. (1992). “Ukudideka kwengqondo.” EMC – Psychiatry, 37-124-A-10.
- Masson, M. (Umhl.). (2013). “Imibhalo 17 no-18. Ukudideka kwengqondo.” Ku Imibhalo engama-24 yokusungula yezifo zengqondo (amakhasi 283-302). EParis: Armand Colin.
- Gauchet, M., & Swain, G. (1980). Umkhuba womqondo womuntu: isikhungo sokukhoseliswa kanye nenguquko yentando yeningi. EParis: Gallimard.
- Falret, J.-P. (1864). Izifo zengqondo kanye nezindawo zokukhosela ezihlanya: izifundo zomtholampilo kanye nokucatshangelwa okujwayelekile. I-Paris: J.-B. Baillière et fils.
Lezi zincwadi nezindatshana zinikeza umbono ojulile ngokudideka kwengqondo, ngokomlando nangokomtholampilo.
Isiphetho: Sibheke esikhathini esizayo esingenakho ukudideka kwengqondo
Ukudideka kwengqondo okubangelwa yi-narcissistic pervert kuyinto ebuhlungu, kodwa kungenzeka ukuthi ululame kukho. Ngokuqonda izindlela zalokhu kudideka, ukusebenzisa amasu okuphulukisa nokuzizungezile ngokusekelwa, abesifazane abakwazi ukunqoba kuphela lesi simo esibucayi, kodwa futhi bavele banamandla.
Indlela eya ekululameni ingase ibonakale iyinde, kodwa isinyathelo ngasinye sikusondeza ekuphileni ukuphila okwanelisayo nokuyiqiniso.
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Ufuna ukwesekwa komuntu ngamunye?
UCristina unikeza iseshini yomuntu ngamunye ukukusiza uphume ekulawulweni okuhlukumezayo futhi wakhe impilo yakho kabusha.