Ithonya lothando: Ukuqonda nokuzikhulula ebuhlotsheni obunobuthi

Ukulawulwa ngokomzwelo okwenziwa ngumuntu ohlukumezayo ngokuzikhukhumeza kungaba yinto embi kakhulu kowesifazane. Lolu hlobo ubuhlobo obunobuthi Ngokuvamile kushiya izibazi ezijulile ngokomzwelo nangokwengqondo. Lesi sihloko sihlose ukukusiza uqonde izindlela zokulawula imizwa futhi sikunikeze amathuluzi okugqashula kukho.

Izimpawu ezichazayo zobudlelwano ngaphansi kwethonya le-narcissistic

Ubudlelwano nomuntu ophendukezela i-narcissistic bubonakala ngezimpawu ezimbalwa ezihlukile:

• Isigaba sokuqala sokuyenga okukhulu
• Izinguquko ezisheshayo ekuziphatheni
• La ukuxhashazwa ngokomzwelo
• Ukuhlukaniswa okuqhubekayo kwesisulu
• Ukwehla kwenani njalo
• Ukulawula kanye umona ogulayo

Uma uqaphela lezi zici ebudlelwaneni bakho, kungenzeka ukuthi ungaphansi kwethonya le-narcissistic pervert.

Umjikelezo wethonya lothando: ukuqonda ukuze uzikhulule kangcono kukho

Umthelela wothando ngokuvamile ulandela umjikelezo ochazwe kahle:

• Isigaba sokuyenga: ugibe luyavaleka

Ekuqaleni kobudlelwane, i-narcissistic pervert ibonakala ithandeka, inake futhi inothando. Kukwenza uzizwe uhlukile futhi ukhethekile. Lesi sigaba, esivame ukubizwa ngokuthi “ibhomu yothando,” sidala ukuncika okuqinile ngokomzwelo.

• Ukwehla kancane kancane: ukuzethemba kuyawohloka

Kancane kancane, i-narcissist iqala ukukugxeka, ukungabaza izinqumo zakho namakhono akho. Isebenzisa amasu acashile ukuze iqede ukuzethemba kwakho.

• Ukuzihlukanisa: ukusika ubudlelwano nalabo abaseduze kwakho

Umgilwa ufuna ukukuhlukanisa nabasondelene nawe, ethi akekho okuqonda kahle njengaye. Ngaleyo ndlela udala ukuncika kuye kuphela.

• Ukulawula okuphelele: ukulahlekelwa ukuzimela

Kulesi sigaba, i-narcissist inamandla okulawula kuzo zonke izici zempilo yakho: ezezimali zakho, ubudlelwano bakho, imisebenzi yakho. Uzizwa uvaleleke futhi ungakwazi ukuzenzela izinqumo.

Imiphumela yethonya lothando empilweni yengqondo

Ithonya lezothando lingaba nemiphumela emibi kakhulu empilweni yakho yengqondo:

• Ukucindezeleka okungapheli nokukhathazeka
• I-post-traumatic stress syndrome
• Ukulahlekelwa ngokuphelele ukuzethemba
• Ubunzima bokusungula ubudlelwano obunempilo kamuva
• Izinkinga zokulala noma ukuqwasha nezinkinga zokudla

Kubalulekile ukuqaphela lezi zimpawu futhi ufune usizo lochwepheshe ukuze uzinqobe.

Ithonya lothando: yimiphi imiphumela empilweni yomzimba?

Ithonya lezothando aligcini nje ngokuthinta imizwelo. Iphinde ibe nemithelela ebalulekile empilweni engokomzimba yesisulu.

Ukuphazamiseka kokulala nokukhathala okungapheli

• Ukuvuka njalo ebusuku
• Amaphupho amabi nokwesabeka ebusuku
• Ukukhathala okujwayelekile ngokomzimba

Iziphazamiso zokudla

• Ukulahlekelwa ukudla noma ukudla ngokweqile ngokomzwelo
• Izinkinga zokugaya ukudla (isicanucanu, ubuhlungu besisu)
• Ukushintshashintsha kwesisindo okuphawulekayo
• Ukuntuleka kokudla okunomsoco

Ukubonakaliswa kwe-Somatic kokukhathazeka

• Ukuqina kwemisipha okungapheli, ikakhulukazi entanyeni nasemahlombe
• Ikhanda elibuhlungu njalo kanye ne-migraines
• Izinkinga zokuphefumula kanye ne-hyperventilation
• Ukushaya kwenhliziyo
• Ukuthuthumela nokujuluka ngokweqile

Ukuncipha kwamasosha omzimba

• Ukwanda kokuba sengozini kwezifo
• Izifo ezingapheli ezivamile
• Ukukhathala okujwayelekile komzimba

Umthelela empilweni ye-hormonal

• Ukuphazamiseka kokuya esikhathini kwabesifazane
• Izinkinga ze-Libido
• Izinkinga zokuzala
• Ukuguga ngaphambi kwesikhathi kwamaseli

Ukubonakaliswa kwe-dermatological

• Ukubukeka noma ukuwohloka kwezinkinga zesikhumba (eczema, psoriasis)
• Ibala elifiphele nokulahlekelwa ukukhazimula
• Ukuncipha kwezinwele nokuqothuka kwezinwele
• Izinzipho eziqinile

Amasu okuzikhulula emathonyeni othando

Ukuzikhulula ethonyeni le-narcissistic pervert kuyinqubo enzima kodwa engenzeka. Nawa amasu okufeza lokhu:

• Thola futhi ukuqaphela ukubaluleka kwakho

Qala ngokusebenzela ukuzethemba kwakho. Khumbula ukuthi ungumuntu ofanelwe ukuthandwa nokuhlonishwa, kungakhathalekile ukuthi i-narcissist ikwenze wakholelwa ini.

• Qala kabusha izixhumanisi nalabo abaseduze kwakho

Xhumana kabusha abangani nomndeni wakho. Ukwesekwa kwabo kuzoba usizo olukhulu enqubweni yakho yokwelapha. Ungabi namahloni okucela usizo.

• Funda ukubeka imingcele

Funda ukwenqaba futhi ugcizelele izidingo zakho. Lesi isinyathelo esibalulekile sokubuyisela ukulawula impilo yakho.

• Xhumana kabusha nezifiso nezifiso zakho

Zitholele kabusha ukuthi yini oyithandayo, amaphupho akho kanye nemigomo yakho yomuntu siqu. Gxila ekuthuthukisweni kwakho siqu.

Ukubaluleka kokusekelwa kochwepheshe ohlelweni lokuphulukisa

Ungakubukeli phansi ukubaluleka kokusekelwa kochwepheshe ohambweni lwakho lokuphulukisa. Umelaphi onguchwepheshe bokuhlukumezeka kobudlelwane obunobuthi angakusiza:

• Ukuqonda izindlela zethonya lothando
• Sebenzela ukuzethemba kwakho
• Yakha amasu okubhekana nempilo
• Ukunqoba izimpawu ze-post-traumatic stress
• Yakha kabusha isithombe esihle ngawe kanye nobudlelwano

Ungangabazi ukufuna usizo, kuwuphawu lwamandla, hhayi ubuthakathaka.

Ireferensi yezincwadi zokuqonda ithonya lothando

Nazi izikhombo eziyisikhombisa zebhayibheli endikimbeni yethonya lothando:

1. Sénac, A. (2016). Ukubamba kothando: Lapho uthando luba ugibe. I-Paris: Editions de l’Observatoire.
2. Berthelot, J. (2019). Ubudlelwano obunobuthi: Ukuqonda kanye nokubalekela ithonya lothando. Paris: Éditions du Rocher.
3. Boucher, M. (2018). Uthando nokukhohlisa: Imithombo yokulawula imizwa. I-Lyon: I-Éditions L’Harmattan.
4. Grosjean, F. (2015). I-Psychology of Control: Ukuqonda izindlela zokulawula imizwa. Toulouse: Éditions Erès.
5. UMarty, A. (2017). Lapho uthando luba ubuthi: Ukubalekela ukulawula imizwa. I-Paris: Editions Albin Michel.
6. Lévy, J. (2020). Ukuhlukumeza ngokwengqondo othandweni: Ukuqonda ithonya nokuphuma kulo. I-Brussels: Editions de l’Univers.
7. Roussillon, R. (2014). Ukulawula ngokwengqondo: Ukusuka othandweni kuya ekuxhashazweni. EParis: Editions Odile Jacob.

Le misebenzi kufanele inikeze isiqalo esihle sokuhlola ubukhulu obuhlukahlukene bethonya lezothando.

Isiphetho: Ithonya lothando alinakugwenywa

Ithonya lothando elisetshenziswa umuntu ophendukezela i-narcissistic lingashiya amanxeba ajulile, kodwa alinakugwemeka. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ukwesekwa nokuzikhandla ngokwakho, kungenzeka ukuthi uzikhulule kukho futhi wakhe kabusha impilo eyanelisayo.

Khumbula ukuthi unamandla, uqinile futhi ulufanele uthando. Ukubaluleka kwakho akuncikile embonweni womuntu ophendukezela i-narcissistic. Ngokuqaphela amandla akho, uzungeza abantu abakhathalelayo futhi ufune usizo lochwepheshe uma kunesidingo, ungalunqoba lolu vivinyo futhi uphume kulo unamandla.

Indaba yakho ayigcini ngethonya lezothando. Kuyisiqalo sesahluko esisha, lapho ubuyisela khona ukulawula impilo yakho nalapho uchuma khona ngokugcwele. Khumbula njalo ukuthi ufanelwe ukuhlonishwa, uthando kanye nenjabulo. Uhambo lwakho lokuphulukisa nokunikwa amandla luqala manje.