Emphakathini wethu wanamuhla,ukuzidela Ukuzinikela kuvame ukubhekwa njengobuhle. Kodwa-ke, uma kuba ngokweqile, kungaguquka kube ukuziphatha okuyinkinga okwaziwa ngokuthi “ukujabulisa abantu.” Lo mkhuba wokubeka izidingo zabanye phambili njalo ngaphezu kwezakho ngeke nje kulimaze umuntu kodwa futhi kumenze abe sengozini yokukhohliswa ngabahlukumezi abazikhukhumezayo. Ake sihlole izici ezicacile zokuzinikela ngokweqile, ukuxhumana kwakho okujulile nokujabulisa abantu, nokuthi kungaba kanjani indawo evundile yobudlelwano obunobuthi.
Ukuqonda I-Altruism Ngokweqile
Ukucabangela ngokweqile kuzibonakalisa njengesidingo esiphoqelelayo sokuzinikela kwabanye, ngokuvamile esilimaza inhlalakahle yomuntu siqu. Ngokungafani ne-altruism enempilo evumela ukulingana phakathi kokupha nokuzigcina, ukuzidela ngokweqile kuholela ekuzideleni njalo.
Izimpawu ze-altruism ngokweqile:
- Ubunzima bokuthi cha, ngisho nalapho ubhekene nezicelo ezingenangqondo
- Ukuzizwa unecala lapho uzinika isikhathi sakho
- Ukuthambekela kokungazinaki izidingo nezifiso zomuntu
- Ukuhlala ufuna ukugunyazwa kwabanye
- Ukukhathala okungapheli ngokomzwelo nangokomzimba
Isixhumanisi phakathi kwe-altruism ngokweqile kanye nabantu abajabulisayo
I-altruism eyeqile ihlobene eduze nabantu abajabulisayo. Eqinisweni, umuntu angasho ukuthi abantu abajabulisayo bawukubonakaliswa kokuziphatha kokuthanda ngokweqile. Abantu abajabulisa abantu ngokuvamile bangabantu abangazicabangeli ngokujulile abaye bafunda ukucindezela ezabo izidingo ukuze banelise izidingo zabanye.
UCristina unikeza iseshini yomuntu ngamunye ukukusiza uphume ekulawulweni okuhlukumezayo futhi wakhe impilo yakho kabusha.
Lokhu kuthambekela kuvame ukuthola umsuka wako ebuntwaneni:
- Isimo abazali : Abazali abakwazisa ngokweqile ukuzidela bangase bakhuthaze ukunganaki ngokweqile ngokungazi.
- Iqhaza “lokuthula” emndenini : Izingane ezinesibopho sokugcina ukuzwana komndeni zingase zibe nokuthambekela okujabulisa abantu.
- Okuhlangenwe nakho kokulahlwa noma ukulahlwa : Ukwesaba ukulahlekelwa uthando noma ukuvunyelwa kungaholela ekuthandeni ngokweqile njengesu lokusinda ngokomzwelo.
Ukukhanga okubulalayo kwama-narcissistic perverts
Ukuzinikela okweqile kanye nabantu abathokozisayo okuvela kukho kudala ubungozi obuthile kubaphendukezeli be-narcissistic. Laba bantu, ababonakala ngokuntula uzwela kanye nesidingo esinganeliseki sokunakwa nokutuswa, bakhangwa abantu abangenangqondo ngokweqile ngenxa yezizathu eziningana:
- Umthombo ongashi wokunakwa : Isidingo esiqhubekayo somuntu ojabulisa abantu sokujabulisa sinikeza i-narcissist ukunaka azondla ngakho.
- Ukuphatha kalula : Ukungakwazi ukwenqaba kanye nesifiso sokugcina ukuzwana ngazo zonke izindlela kwenza abantu basebenziseke kalula.
- Ukwenyuka kokubekezelela ukuziphatha okuhlukumezayo : Ejwayele ukungazinaki izidingo zakhe, “ojabulisa abantu” angakwazi ukubekezelela ukuziphatha okunobuthi isikhathi eside.
- Ukuhlangabezana nesidingo sobukhulu : Umuntu ozinikele ngokweqile, ngokuzidela njalo, ubhebhethekisa umuzwa wokuziphakamisa we-narcissist.
- Ukuphelelisana kwezidingo ezingokomzwelo : Isidingo somuntu ojabulisa abantu sokugunyazwa sifanelana kahle nesidingo sokutuswa kwe-narcissist.
Amandla anobuthi ebudlelwaneni
Uma ubudlelwano sebumisiwe, i-dynamic ebhubhisayo ingena:
- Umjikelezo wokwehliswa kwamanani/ukuqina : I-narcissist iyashintshana phakathi kwezikhathi zokugxeka okunzima nokuncoma ngokweqile, okugcina abantu bejabule besesimweni sokungavikeleki njalo.
- Ukuxhashazwa ngokomzwelo : Ukuzicabangela ngokweqile “kokujabulisa abantu” kusetshenziswe ngaphandle kwemingcele, okuholela ekukhathaleni ngokomzwelo.
- Ukulahlekelwa ubuwena : Ngokuzivumelanisa nezimfuneko ezishintshayo ze-narcissist, umuntu othanda ukucabangela kancane kancane ulahlekelwa umuzwa wakhe wobunikazi.
- Ukuzihlukanisa emphakathini : I-narcissist ingahlukanisa isisulu sayo kancane kancane, iqinise ukuncika kwayo kanye nesidingo sayo sokujabulisa.
- Umuzwa wecala owedlulele : Noma yimuphi umzamo wokuziqinisekisa uvinjwa ngokushesha umuzwa wecala obangelwa i-narcissist.
Ukunqamula Umjikelezo Woku-Altruism Okudlulele
Ukuze uzikhulule kuleli phethini elilimazayo, kubalulekile ukuthi:
- Thuthukisa ukuzazi : Ukufunda ukuqaphela izidingo zakho kanye nemizwa yakho kuyisinyathelo sokuqala esiholela ekucabangeni okulinganiselwe.
- Misa imingcele enempilo : Qala ngokwenqaba okuncane futhi usebenze ngendlela yakho uze ufike emikhawulweni emikhulu.
- Hlakulela ukuzethemba : Sebenza ngenani lomuntu siqu elingancikile ekuvunyelweni abanye.
- Zijwayeze ukuzizwelan: Ziphathe ngomusa obungawunikeza umngane wakho.
- Hlola kabusha ubudlelwano : Thola ubudlelwano obunobuthi futhi uthathe izinyathelo zokuzivikela kubo.
- Funa ukwesekwa kochwepheshe : Ukwelashwa kungasiza ukuqonda izimpande zokudela ngokweqile futhi kuthuthukise amasu okukunqoba.
Ukubheka i-altruism elinganiselayo
Umgomo awukona ukuqeda i-altruism ngokuphelele, kodwa ukuthola ibhalansi enempilo. I-altruism elinganiselayo ikuvumela ukuthi:
- Siza abanye ngokweqiniso, ngaphandle kokukhathala
- Gcina ubudlelwano obunempilo, obufanayo
- Hlonipha ezakho izidingo ube unake ezabanye
- Ukumelana nokukhohlisa kwabantu abanobuthi
Isiphetho
Ukuzicabangela ngokweqile, nakuba kunenjongo enhle, kungaba nemiphumela elimazayo, ikakhulukazi uma kuholela abantu ukujabulisa kanye nobudlelwano nama-narcissistic perverts. Ukuqaphela lokhu kuthambekela kuwena kuyisinyathelo sokuqala sokuthola impilo elinganiselayo kanye nobudlelwano obunempilo.
Ngokufunda ukulinganisa ukuzinakekela nokunakekela abanye, asigcini nje kuphela ukumelana nokukhwabanisa, kodwa futhi sakwazi ngokwengeziwe ukwethembeka nokungathembeki okuhlala njalo. Khumbula, ukuzinakekela akubona ubugovu; kuyisisekelo esidingekayo sokukwazi ukuba khona ngempela kwabanye ngendlela enempilo negculisayo.
Udinga ukukhuluma nomuntu oqondayo?
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Ufuna ukwesekwa komuntu ngamunye?
UCristina unikeza iseshini yomuntu ngamunye ukukusiza uphume ekulawulweni okuhlukumezayo futhi wakhe impilo yakho kabusha.