Isimo sokubuya kwemizwa ebudlelwaneni obunobuthi

“Ukubuya ngokomzwelo” kuyinto evamile ebudlelwaneni obunobuthi. Ikhona ikakhulukazi ngozakwethu one-narcissistic ohlanekezelwe. Le nqubo icindezela isisulu ukuba sibuyele kumhlukumezi waso naphezu kokuhlupheka esikutholile. Kungase kubonakale kungaqondakali ngaphandle. Nokho, iyingxenye ye-dynamics ethile yobudlelwane. Ukuqonda lezi zindaba kubalulekile ukuze ubambe inkimbinkimbi yalezi zimo.

Imvelo yomjikelezo wobudlelwane be-narcissistic

Ubudlelwano nomuntu ophendukezela i-narcissistic ngokuvamile bulandela iphethini ephindaphindayo. Lo mjikelezo uyashintshana phakathi kokuqagela, ukwehla nokwenqatshwa. Lokhu ukungazinzi ngokomzwelo kuthuntubeza isisulu. Uzithola ehlala efuna ukuvunyelwa nokuthandwa.

Izigaba zomjikelezo wobudlelwano

1. Ukwenza kahle: I-narcissist ibonakala ibukeka futhi inakekela.
2. Ukwehla kwenani: Ukugxekwa nokukhohlisa kuyaqina.
3. Ukwenqatshwa: I-narcissist iyahoxa, idala igebe elingokomzwelo.
4. Emuva : Umjikelezo uqala futhi ngezithembiso ezintsha.

Le phethini igcina isisulu sincike emoyeni. Kwenza ukubuya ngokomzwelo kube lula ngokuphindaphinda ngakunye.

Izindlela zengqondo zokubuya okuthintekayo

Izinqubo eziningana zengqondo zichaza ukubuya ngokomzwelo. Ziyathandelana emqondweni womuntu ohlukumezekile.

• Okunamathiselwe kwi-traumatic: 

Ukunamathela okubuhlungu kudala isibopho somzwelo esiyindida. Kwakha phakathi komhlukumezi nomhlaseli wabo. Lesi simo sichaza ubunzima bokushiya ubudlelwano obunobuthi. Isisulu sihlala sinamathele nakuba siyibona ingozi.

• La ukuncika okuthintekayo : 

Ukukhohlisa njalo kudala ukuncika ngokomzwelo. Kuzibonakalisa ngesidingo esingenakucindezelwa kwabanye. Ukwesaba ukulahlwa kuba yonke indawo. Umhlukunyezwa udonsa kanzima ukuze acabange impilo yokuzimela.

• Ithemba loshintsho:

Ukubuya kwemizwelo ngokuvamile kusekelwe ethembeni loshintsho. Izethembiso nezikhathi zobubele ziyalondla leli themba. Ngokuvamile kuvela ukuthi kuyinkohliso esikhathini eside.

Izici ezikhuthaza ukubuya kwemizwelo

Izakhi ezimbalwa zandisa amathuba okubuya komzwelo.

• Theukuzihlonipha buthaka: Ukuhlasela kuka-narcissist kwenza umlingani wakhe angazethembi. Lokhu kuncipha kukhulisa ukuncika ekuvunyweni kwayo. Isisulu sibe sesifuna ukuqinisekiswa, ngisho nangemva kokuhlukana.

• Ukuzihlukanisa emphakathini: I-narcissistic pervert ivame ukuhlukanisa isisulu sakhe. Lokhu kuzihlukanisa kuqinisa ukuncika ngokomzwelo. Kwenza kube nzima ukuhlukana kokugcina. Isisulu sizithola singenakho ukwesekwa kwangaphandle.

• Ukwesaba okungaziwa: Ukushiya ubuhlobo obunobuthi kungase kusabise. Ikusasa elingaqinisekile liyethusa. Abanye besifazane bese bencamela ukubuyela esimweni esaziwayo. Noma kuyingozi.

Imiphumela engokwengqondo yokubuya kwemizwelo

Ukubuya kwemizwa kuthinta impilo yengqondo nengokomzwelo yezisulu.

1. Ukuqiniswa kwamaphethini anobuthi: Impendulo ngayinye iqinisa amaphethini obudlelwano angasebenzi. Isisulu sihlobanisa uthando nokuhlupheka nokungazinzi. Lokhu kungase kuthinte ubudlelwano bakhe besikhathi esizayo.
2. Ukwanda kwengcindezi yangemva kokuhlukumezeka: Ukubuyela emuva naphambili kwemizwa kuba kubi kakhulu izimpawu zengcindezi yangemva kokuhlukumezeka. Ukukhathazeka, ukuphazamiseka kokulala kanye nokukhumbula emuva kuyaqina. Umjikelezo ngamunye wokubuya ukhulisa le miphumela.
3. Ukuguguleka kobunikazi: Isisulu sihlala sivumelana nezimfuno ze-narcissist. Kancane kancane ulahlekelwa umuzwa wokuthi ungubani. Lokhu kuguguleka kobunikazi kwenza kube nzima ukushiya ubudlelwano obunobuthi.

Isixhumanisi phakathi kokubuya kwemizwelo kanye nokuphendukezelwa kwe-narcissistic

Ukubuyisela okusebenzayo kuxhumene ne-narcissistic dynamics.

• Ukuxhaphaza imizwa: I-narcissistic pervert iyaphumelela ukuxhashazwa ngokomzwelo. Udlala ngobuthakathaka bomlingani wakhe. Ngaleyo ndlela ulondoloza ukuncika ngokomzwelo. Lokhu kusiza ukubuyisela okulandelanayo.

• Izikhawu zokuqinisa: Imibukiso yothando ye-narcissist ayinakubikezelwa. Lokhu kudala iphethini yokuqinisa ngezikhathi ezithile. Lo mshini uqinisa ukunamathiselwa kwesisulu. Yandisa amathuba okubuya ngokomzwelo.

• Ukuphika iqiniso: I-narcissist iyaphika noma inciphisa ukuziphatha kwayo okuhlukumezayo. Lokhu kuhlanekezelwa kweqiniso kuyamphazamisa isisulu. Uyayingabaza imibono yakhe. Ubuyekeza isinqumo sakhe sokushiya ubudlelwano.

Umthelela wokubuya ngokomzwelo kulabo abaseduze kwakho

Ukubuya ngokomzwelo kuthinta nalabo abasondelene nesisulu.

• Ukungaqondi nokukhungatheka: Izihlobo aziqondi lezi zimbuyiselo eziphindaphindiwe. Babhekana nokukhungatheka. Lesi simo sidala ukungezwani. Kungaholela ekuhlukaneni.
• Ukusekela ukukhathala: Labo abasizungezile bayakhathala lapho bebhekene nemijikelezo yokuhlukana nokubuya. Lokhu kuphelelwa ngamandla kungaqinisa ukuzihlukanisa kwesisulu. Ukwesekwa kuncipha kancane kancane.
• Ukujwayela okungahlosiwe: Ngokubheka le mpendulo, ezinye izihlobo zisilungisa isimo. Bayeka ukungabaza ubuthi bobudlelwano. Lokhu kungaqinisekisa isisulu ekukhetheni kwabo ukuhlala.

Indima yokuhlukumezeka kwangaphambilini

Okuhlangenwe nakho kwesikhathi esidlule kuthonya ukubuya kwemizwelo.

1. Amaphethini omndeni: Amamodeli ahlobene angasebenzi esimweni sobuntwana ukukhetha kwabantu abadala. Benza ukubuyela ebuhlotsheni obunobuthi okungenzeka kakhulu.
2. Amanxeba angapholi Ukuhlukumezeka okungaxazululiwe kuqeda ukuzethemba. Bandisa ubungozi bokukhohlisa kwe-narcissistic. Ukubuyisela okusebenzayo kuba indlela yokuphindaphinda.
3. Imfuno yokulungisa: Isisulu singase sifune “ukulungisa” ukulimala kwesikhathi esidlule singanakile. Ufaka leli themba kumlingani we-narcissistic. Lokhu kondla umjikelezo wembuyiselo.

Izinselele zokuhlukana unomphela

Ukuhlukana nomuntu ophendukezela i-narcissistic kuletha ubunzima obuthile.

• I-Affective withdrawal syndrome: Ukuhlukana kubangela izimpawu ezifana nokuhoxa. Isisulu sizizwa sintula kakhulu. Lokhu kungamcindezela ukuba abuye ngokomzwelo.
• Ukwakhiwa kabusha kobunikazi: Ngemuva kobudlelwano be-narcissistic, isisulu kufanele sichaze kabusha ubunikazi baso. Kuyinqubo ende futhi enzima. Kudinga isineke nokusekela.
• Ukuphatha icala: I-narcissist ivame ukudala umuzwa wecala kusisulu sakhe. Leli cala liyaqhubeka ngemva kokuhlukana. Kungashukumisa ukubuya ngokomzwelo.

Izikhombo ze-bibliographic mayelana nokubuya kwemizwelo

1. Cyrulnik, B. (2004). Amadada amabi. Odile Jacob.
2. Delage, M. (2008). Ukuqina komndeni. Odile Jacob.
3. Lemaire, J.-G. Uthando, umbhangqwana nokubuyisana. I-Payot.
4. I-Neuburger, R. (2003). Imibhangqwana emisha: isifiso sokuqala futhi. I-Payot.

Le misebenzi ikhuluma ngezici ezihlukene zokubuya ngokomzwelo, ukuqina ebudlelwaneni, nokwakhiwa kabusha kwezibopho ngemva kokuhlukana noma isikhathi esinzima.

Isiphetho

Sengiphetha, ukubuya ngokomzwelo kuyinto eyinkimbinkimbi. Iyingxenye ye-dynamic dynamic yobudlelwane be-narcissistic. Ukuqonda izindlela zayo kubalulekile ukuze uzikhulule kukho. Indlela eya ekululameni ingaba yinde. Kodwa ukuqwashisa kuyisinyathelo sokuqala esiholela empilweni enempilo engokomzwelo.