Umbala wemizwa: Ukuqonda i-PN kanye nemiphumela yayo kwabesifazane

Ama-Narcissists avame ukubonwa njengabantu abangenamizwa abakhohlisa labo ababazungezile ngokubanda okubaliwe. Nokho lo mbono usekude nokuphelela. Laba bantu bazwa imizwa, kodwa ngokuvamile bakhetha ukuyicindezela noma ukuyiveza ngezindlela ezilimazayo. Kulesi sihloko, sizohlola “umbala wemizwa” kuma-narcissistic perverts nokuthi le mizwa ithinta kanjani izisulu zabo.

Uyini umbala wemizwa?

“Umbala wemizwa” ngokuvamile uyindlela engokomfanekiso yokuhlobanisa imibala nezimo ezihlukene zemizwelo. Lo mbono uvame ukusetshenziswa ku-psychology ukusiza ukubona ngeso lengqondo nokuqonda imizwa. Nazi ezinye izinhlangano ezijwayelekile:

• Okubomvu : ngokuvamile kuhlotshaniswa nentukuthelo, inkanuko, noma uthando olujulile
• Okuluhlaza okwesibhakabhaka : ingamela ukudabuka noma ukuzola
• Okuphuzi : evame ukuhlotshaniswa nenjabulo noma ukuba nethemba
• Okujwayelekile: zingafanekisela umona noma ithemba
• Okumnyama : ngokuvamile esetshenziselwa ukumela ukucindezeleka noma ukwesaba
• Okuphinki : kungavusa uthando noma ububele
• Iwolintshi: ngezinye izikhathi kuhlotshaniswa nomdlandla noma isasasa
• I-Violet : ingamela ubuciko noma ingokomoya

Ukuqonda imizwa yama-Narcissistic Perverts

Njengabesifazane abahluphekayo ubuhlobo obunobuthiAbantu abaphambene nabazithandayo nabo babhekana nemizwa ehlukene.

1. I-facade yokunganaki

Kulula ukucabanga ukuthi abahlanekezeli be-narcissistic abayizwa imizwa. Bangase babonakale bebodwa, bengenandaba, noma bengenandaba nokuhlupheka abakubangelayo. Nokho, lokhu kunganaki kumane kuyi-facade. Ama-Narcissists azwa imizwa eminingi ehlukene, kodwa akhethe ukungayivezi ngezindlela ezivamile, akhethe ukuyingcwaba noma ukuyifihla.

2. Ukwesaba ukuba sengozini

Ngo a i-narcissistic pervert esengozini, imizwelo ibonakala njengobuthakathaka. Ukubonisa imizwa enjengosizi, ukwesaba noma umuzwa wecala kubonakala kungenakucatshangwa kubo, ngoba kungababeka engozini emehlweni abanye. Lokhu kwesaba ukuba sengozini kubabangela ukuba bacindezele le mizwa, benze umhlabathi ovundile wokuziphatha okulimazayo.

Lokhu kucindezela okungokomzwelo kunemiphumela eqondile kuzisulu. Ngempela, ama-narcisists avame ukusebenzisa ukuqagela ukuze azivikele ekungavikelekeni kwawo.

3. Ukuveza intukuthelo

Intukuthelo iwumuzwa onamandla phakathi kwama-narcissistic perverts. Ngokungafani neminye imizwelo, intukuthelo ibhekwa njengomthombo wamandla, indlela yokuphoqelela intando yabo nokuphatha labo ababazungezile. Kuwumuzwa okulula ukuwuveza futhi ovame ukusetshenziswa ukulawula abanye. Intukuthelo iphinde ivumele i-narcissist ukuthi iphazamise ukungavikeleki kwayo ngokuveza isithombe samandla.

Imiphumela kwabesifazane abayizisulu ze-narcissistic pervert

Imiphumela kwabesifazane abayizisulu zokuphendukezela i-narcissistic ijulile futhi iyahlukahluka.

1. Umjikelezo Wokuhlukunyezwa Ngokomzwelo

Abesifazane abayizisulu zomuntu ophendukezela i-narcissistic bavame ukuvaleleka ku umjikelezo wokuhlukunyezwa ngokomzweloLo mjikelezo uqala ngesigaba sokuyenga lapho umuntu othanda ukuzicabangela ekhombisa uhlangothi lwakhe oluhle kakhulu. Uma isisulu sesilawulwa yiso, umuntu othanda ukuzicabangela uqala ukuveza intukuthelo yakhe kanye nokudelela, okwenza kube nokujikeleza kokukhohlisa nokulawula. Lo mjikelezo ongapheli ubhubhisa kancane kancaneukuzihlonipha womuntu ohlukunyeziwe.

Lo mjikelezo ungahlukaniswa ube izigaba eziningana:

• Isigaba sokuyenga : I-narcissist iyanaka, inothando, futhi yenza konke ukuyenga isisulu sayo. Lesi sigaba singahlala amasonto noma izinyanga ezimbalwa, sidale ukuncika ngokomzwelo kulowo ohlukunyeziwe.
• Isigaba sokwehla : Uma isisulu sesilawulwa, i-narcissist iqala ukumgxeka, ukunciphisa impumelelo yabo futhi igqamise ubuthakathaka babo, okuqeda kancane kancane ukuzethemba kwabo.
• Isigaba sokwenqatshwa : Kwezinye izimo, i-narcissist ingafinyelela ekulahleni isisulu ngokuphelele, simshiye edabukile futhi egcwele ukungabaza ngokubaluleka kwakhe.
• Isigaba sokubuyisana : Ukuze aqhubeke ebambelele, i-narcissist ingase ibuyele isisulu nezaba noma izithembiso zoshintsho, ngaleyo ndlela ivuselele umjikelezo.

2. Imiphumela yezengqondo

Ukuhlala ne-narcissistic pervert kungaba imiphumela engokwengqondo engathi sína. Abesifazane bangahlakulela ukukhathazeka, ukudangala nokulahlekelwa ukuzethemba. Ukuxhashazwa okungapheli nokungazinzi ngokomzwelo kwenza kube nzima ngomhlukunyezwa ukubona okungokoqobo, kumfake esimweni sokudideka nokungabaza.

Ngaphezu kwalezi zinkinga, izisulu zingase nazo zihlupheke I-post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), ikakhulukazi uma beke babhekana nezimo zobudlova ngamazwi noma ngokomzimba. Izinkumbulo zalezi ziqephu zingase ziphakame ngokungalindelekile, kubangele ukuhlaselwa kokukhathazeka noma ukuqwasha. Ukwengeza, ukuhlukaniswa nomphakathi okuvame ukubekwa yi-narcissist kungenza lezi zimpawu zibe zimbi kakhulu, kwenze ukululama kube nzima nakakhulu.

3. Ukulahlekelwa ubumina

Ukulawulwa kwemizwa okwenziwa umuntu ophendukezela i-narcissistic ngokuvamile kuholela ukulahlekelwa ubumina kulowo ohlukunyeziwe. Owesifazane, owake wazethemba futhi ezimele, angase azithole engabaza ukubaluleka kwakhe, elahlekelwa umbono wezinto azithandayo nezithakazelo zomuntu siqu. Lokhu kulahlekelwa kobunikazi kungomunye wemiphumela elimaza kakhulu yokuhlukunyezwa kwe-narcissistic.

Lokhu kuhlukaniswa okuqhubekayo kungabangela isisulu ukuba sisuke kubangane, umndeni, ngisho nezifiso zomuntu siqu. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, angase alahlekelwe umuzwa wokuthi ungubani ngaphandle kobudlelwane obuhlukumezayo.

Ungakuthola kanjani kabusha ukulawula?

Ukuthola kabusha ukulawula ngemva kokubhekana nokuxhashazwa kwe-narcissistic kuyinqubo ebalulekile neyinkimbinkimbi.

1. Ziqaphele izimpawu

Isinyathelo sokuqala sokuzikhulula ethonyeni le-narcissistic pervert ukuthi qaphela izibonakaliso ukukhwabanisa. Lokhu kuhlanganisa ukwazi ukuthi i-narcissist isebenzisa kanjani intukuthelo ukuze ilawule futhi ihlukanise isisulu sabo. Ukuqonda ukuthi ukusabela komuntu ngokomzwelo akukhona ukubonakaliswa kweqiniso, kodwa kunalokho kuwukubikezela kokungazethembi kwe-narcissist, kubalulekile ukuze uqale ukuhlukana ngokomzwelo.

Nazi ezinye izimpawu okufanele uzibheke:

• Ukugxeka njalo : I-narcissist ivame ukugxeka isisulu ngendlela elimazayo, ukunciphisa impumelelo yabo futhi igcizelele ukwehluleka kwabo.
• Ukuzihlukanisa emphakathini : Umgadli ufuna ukuqhelelanisa isisulu nabasondelene nabo ukuze aqinise ukulawula kwakhe.
• Ukuxhaphaza imizwelo : Isebenzisa umuzwa wecala, ukwesaba nothando ukuze ilawule imizwa yalowo ohlukunyeziwe.
• Ukuziphatha okungalindelekile : Ukuqhuma kwentukuthelo ngaphandle kwesizathu kuvamile, kugcina isisulu sisesimweni sokucindezeleka njalo.

2. Yakha kabusha ukuzethemba kwakho

Ngemva kokuqaphela ukuhlukunyezwa, kubalulekile sebenzela ukwakha kabusha ukuzethemba kwakho. Lokhu kungahlanganisa ukwesekwa kwengqondo, ukubuyela emisebenzini eletha injabulo nokwaneliseka, kanye nokuba phakathi kwabantu abahle abaqinisa umuzwa wokubaluleka komuntu siqu.

Ezinye izinyathelo zokwakha kabusha ukuzethemba kwakho:

• Ukwelashwa : Ukubonana nomelaphi okhethekile kungasiza ekuxazululeni imiphumela yokuhlukumeza futhi kwakhiwe kabusha isithombe esihle sakho.
• Imisebenzi yokudala : Ukuphinda uxhumeke nezinto ezizithandayo zokudala noma izinto ozilibazisayo kungasiza ukuphinda uthole umuzwa wokufeza okuthile komuntu siqu.
• Inethiwekhi yosekelo : Zizungeze nabantu abakhathalelayo abasiqondayo isimo futhi banikeze ukusekelwa ngokomzwelo ngaphandle kokwahlulela.
• Zinakekele : Ukwamukela imikhuba yokuzinakekela, njengokuzindla, ukuvivinya umzimba noma ukuphumula, kungasiza ukubuyisela ukulingana ngokomzwelo.

Umbala wemizwa: Ukusuka ebuhlungu kuya ekukhululweni

Umbala wemizwa usivumela ukuthi siqonde kangcono okuhlangenwe nakho kwangaphakathi, kusukela ebuhlungwini obujulile kuya ekukhululweni. Nawa amathiphu angakusiza:

1. Qaphela ukuhlukahluka kwemizwa

Imizwa etholwa abesifazane abayizisulu zokuphendukezela i-narcissistic ihlukahlukene futhi iyinkimbinkimbi. Kusukela osizini kuya entukuthelweni, ekwesabeni nasekukhululekeni, umzwelo ngamunye unendawo yawo enqubweni yokwelapha. Ukubona nokwamukela le mizwa kuyisinyathelo esibalulekile esiya enkululekweni.

Le ulimi lwemizwa kungabonwa njenge imibala ephalethini. Yonke imizwa, nakuba ingase ibonakale ingalungile ekuqaleni, ingaguqulwa ibe ithuluzi lokukhula komuntu siqu. Ngokwesibonelo, ukudabuka kungaholela ekuzihloleni okuzuzisayo, kuyilapho intukuthelo ingasebenza njengesisusa soshintsho nokuziqinisekisa.

2. Sebenzisa imizwa njengenjini yokwelapha

Imizwa, nakuba ibuhlungu, ingaba futhi injini enamandla yokuphulukisa. Ngokwesibonelo, intukuthelo ingashintshwa ibe amandla akhayo ukuze abeke imingcele ecacile futhi enqabe ukubekezelela ukuziphatha kabi. Ukudabuka kungavula umnyango wokuzihlola okujulile nasekuziqondeni okwengeziwe.

3. Empilweni egcwalisekile

Ukuzikhulula ethonyeni le-narcissistic pervert akuwona umsebenzi olula, kodwa kuyisinyathelo esibalulekile ekuqondeni. ukuphila okwanelisayo nokuzimela. Ngokufunda ukubona nokusebenzisa umbala wemizwa yakhe, owesifazane angathola amandla akhe angaphakathi, aqinisekise ubuyena futhi adale ukuphila okugcwele injabulo nokuthula.

Kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuthi ukuphulukiswa kuyinto inqubo eqhubekayo. Kuthatha isikhathi, isineke, futhi ngezinye izikhathi, kuphinde kubuye.

Ireferensi yeBhayibheli “ngombala wemizwa”

Nazi izikhombo zebhayibheli eziyisikhombisa endikimbeni “yombala wemizwa”:

1. Brouillet, D. (2015). Imibala yemizwa: Izakhi zethiyori ye-synesthesia yemizwa. EParis: Editions L’Harmattan.
2. I-Lemoine, P. (2018). I-Colour psychology: Imizwa nemibala ekuboneni komuntu. I-Lyon: I-Press Universitaires de Lyon.
3. U-Leroy, F. (2012). Imibala nemizwelo: indlela yokusebenza kwengqondo. Toulouse: Éditions Érès.
4. UGueguen, N. & Jacob, C. (2014). Imiphumela yemibala emizweni nasekuziphatheni: Ukubuyekezwa kwezincwadi. I-European Journal ye-Applied Psychology, i-64 (2), i-93-100.
5. Faucher, J. & Neveu, M. (2017). Imizwa nombono wombala: Ucwaningo lokuhlola. Psychology & Sciences, 24(3), 215-228.
6. UMaffesoli, M. (2011). Iminyaka Yezizwe: Ukuncipha Komuntu Ngamunye Emiphakathini Yabantu. I-Paris: Ithebula Eliyindilinga. (Nakuba le ncwadi ijwayeleke kakhulu, ikhuluma ngezimpawu zemibala ebudlelwaneni babantu).
7. Roussel, S. (2019). Imibala nemizwelo: Indlela yokuhlangana kwamasiko. I-Paris: I-Éditions de la Maison des Sciences de l’Homme.

Lezi zithenjwa zihlola ubudlelwano phakathi kwemibala nemizwelo ngama-engeli ahlukene, ikakhulukazi ezengqondo namasiko.

Isiphetho

Ama-Narcissists angochwepheshe kwezobuciko bokulawula imizwa, eyabo kanye neyabanye. Kwabesifazane abayizisulu, ukuqonda “umbala wemizwa” kubalulekile ukuze bagqashule emjikelezweni wokuhlukunyezwa futhi bazakhe kabusha. Ngokuqaphela izindlela ezithinta imizwa ezidlalwayo kanye nokufuna ukwesekwa okudingekayo, kungenzeka ukuguqula lobu buhlungu bube amandla, futhi kuphinde kutholwe impilo ecebile ngombala nenkululeko.