Ukushoda ngokomzwelo ebudlelwaneni nomuntu ophendukezela i-narcissistic

Ubudlelwano nomuntu ophendukezela i-narcissistic bungalimaza kakhulu, ngokuvamile bushiye isisulu sisesimweni sokuntula okujulile ngokomzwelo. Lesi sihloko sihlola izindlela zalokhu kuntuleka futhi sinikeza izindlela zokuzikhulula kukho.

Izimpawu zokuntula ngokomzwelo ebuhlotsheni obunobuthi

Ukuncishwa ngokomzwelo kuzibonakalisa ngezindlela ezimbalwa ebudlelwaneni nomuntu ophendukezela i-narcissistic:

• Uhlala uzizwa sengathi awulungile ngokwanele
• Izidingo zakho ezingokomzwelo azinakwa noma zihlekwa usulu
• Uvame ukuzizwa uwedwa, ngisho nalapho ukhona umlingani wakho
• Unomuzwa wokuthi hamba ngamagobolondo amaqanda futhi uhlale uvikela
• yakho ukuzihlonipha iwohloke kakhulu kusukela kuqale ubudlelwano

Uma uziqaphela kulezi zimpawu, kungenzeka ukuthi uhlushwa ukuswela ngokomzwelo ngenxa ukuziphatha okukhohlisayo kusuka kumlingani wakho.

I-narcissistic pervert izisebenzisa kanjani izidingo zakho zemizwa?

Umphendukezeli we-narcissistic uyingcweti kubuciko bokubona nokusebenzisa kabi amaphutha emizwa yezisulu zakhe. Nanka amanye amaqhinga akhe:

• Ushintshashintsha phakathi kwezigaba zokuyenga okukhulu kanye nokwenqatshwa ngonya, okwenza kube ukuncika okuthintekayo
• Wenza sengathi unikeza uthando nokuqashelwa okudingayo, ngaphandle kokukunikeza.
• Uyibukela phansi ngokuhlelekile imizwelo nezidingo zakho, akwenze ungabaze ukuba semthethweni kwazo
• Ikwehlukanisa nalabo abasondelene nawe, ibe ukuphela komthombo wakho wokuqinisekisa ngokomzwelo
• Igcina isimo sokungavikeleki ngokomzwelo unomphela, ikugcina usesimweni sokuba sengozini

Lokhu kuxhashazwa kokuntula kwakho ngokomzwelo kumvumela ukuba alondoloze ukulawula phezu kwakho futhi anelise isidingo sakhe esinganeliseki sokunakwa nokutuswa.

Imiphumela edabukisayo yokuntula ngokomzwelo isikhathi eside

Uma kuyekwa kungelashwa, ukuncishwa ngokomzwelo kungaba nemiphumela emibi kakhulu enhlalakahleni nempilo yakho:

• Ukucindezeleka okungapheli nokukhathazeka
• Iziyaluyalu zokudla noma imilutha ehlukahlukene
• Ubunzima bokudala ukuxhumana okunempilo, okuhlala njalo
• Ukulahlekelwa ngokuphelele ukuzethemba kuwena nakwabanye
• Umuzwa unomphela wokungabi nalutho kwangaphakathi nokuphelelwa ithemba

Ngakho-ke kubalulekile ukuthatha isinyathelo ngaphambi kokuba le miphumela ibe engenakuhlehliswa.

Bona futhi ubhuntshise amaqhinga okukhohlisa imizwa

Ukuze uzivikele, kubalulekile ukufunda ukuhlonza amasu okukhohlisa we-narcissistic pervert:

• Ukuqhunyiswa kwamabhomu othandweni: ukunakwa nothando ekuqaleni kobudlelwano
• Ukukhanyisa igesi: okwenza ungabaze umbono wakho weqiniso
• Triangulation: ukudala umona ngokufaka umuntu wesithathu
• Ukwelashwa buthule: ukuzijezisa ngokuthula nokunganaki
• Izithembiso ezingamanga: ukwenza ngaphandle kokugcina izwi lakho

Ngokuqaphela la maqhinga, uyokuhlomela kangcono ukumelana nawo futhi ugcine ubuqotho bakho obungokomzwelo.

Izinzuzo zokwelapha ukuphulukisa izilonda ezingokomzwelo

Ukwesekwa kwezokwelapha kungaba usizo olukhulu ekunqobeni ukushiyeka kwakho ngokomzwelo:

• La Ukwelapha ingqondo-yokuziphatha ukuze ushintshe amaphethini akho okucabanga
• I-EMDR yokwelapha ukuhlukumezeka okuhlobene nobudlelwane obunobuthi
• Ukwelashwa okuhlelekile ukuqonda amandla akho obudlelwano
• Ukwelapha ngobuciko ukuveza imizwa yakho ngendlela yokudala
• Amaqembu okusekela ukwabelana ngolwazi lwakho nabanye abahlukunyeziwe

Zizwe ukhululekile ukuhlola izindlela ezahlukene ukuze uthole leyo ekusebenzela kangcono.

Zikhulule emjikelezweni wokuncika ngokomzwelo

Ukushiya ubudlelwano nomuntu ophendukezela i-narcissistic kungaba ukudonsa kwangempela kwemizwa. Nawa amasu okubhekana nakho:

• Nqamula konke ukuxhumana nozakwethu wangaphambili (akukho othintana naye)
• Thola imisebenzi enempilo ukuze ulawule izifiso nokukhathazeka
• Joyina amaqembu osekelo ku-inthanethi noma mathupha
• Zijwayeze amasu okulawula ingcindezi njengokuphefumula okujulile
• Gxila ekukhuleni kwakho siqu nezinhlelo zesikhathi esizayo

Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi nokubekezela, uzozikhulula kulo mkhuba onobuthi.

Ireferensi ye-bibliographic ekuncishweni ngokomzwelo

Nazi izikhombo zebhayibheli eziyisikhombisa endikimbeni “yokuntula okusebenzayo”:

1. Sroufe, L.A. (1996). Ukuthuthukiswa kwemizwelo: Ukuhlelwa kwempilo yomzwelo eminyakeni yokuqala. Paris: Presses Universitaires de France.
2. Rochette, L. (2011). Ukuncishwa ngokomzwelo kanye nemiphumela yako ekukhuleni kwengane. In I-psychology yengane nentsha (amakhasi 45-67). EParis: Dunod.
3. Bowlby, J. (1980). Ukulahlekelwa nokulila. EParis: Editions Odile Jacob.
4. Lévy, J. (2007). Ukuphazamiseka kokunamathiselwe ezinganeni. I-Paris: Izinhlobo Ezishicilelwe.
5. U-Guillaumin, M. (2014). Izinkinga zokuncishwa ngokomzwelo kumongo wobudlelwane bomzali nengane. Ukubuyekezwa Kwengqondo 2 (1), 33-47.
6. Perrin, J. (2013). Ukuncishwa ngokomzwelo ezinganeni: ukuqonda nokwelashwa. Ubuntwana 1 (3), 203-216.
7. Pichot, P. (2008). I-attachment psychology kanye nezicelo zayo zomtholampilo. Ijenali yesiFulentshi ye-psychology 3 (4), 211-229.

Lezi zithenjwa zizokunikeza isisekelo esiqinile sokuqonda izindaba nemithelela yokuncishwa ngokomzwelo.

Ibheke empilweni egcwalisiwe futhi elinganiselayo engokomzwelo

Ngemva kokunqoba ukuntula kwakho ngokomzwelo, ekugcineni uzokwazi ukwakha ubudlelwano obunempilo nobanelisayo:

• Khetha ozakwethu abakuhloniphayo futhi bazise izimfanelo zakho
• Hlakulela ukuthembela komunye esikhundleni sokusebenzisana
• Khuluma ngokukhululekile mayelana nemizwa nezidingo zakho
• Gcina ukulingana phakathi kothando, ubungane kanye nempilo yomuntu siqu
• Qhubeka nokusebenza ekuthuthukiseni kwakho siqu

Ngokuzinakekela nokuhlala uqaphile, ekugcineni uzokwazi ukuzwa uthando ngendlela enempilo negculisayo.

Khumbula: ufanelwe ukuthandwa, ukuhlonishwa nokuhlonishwa. Ungalokothi uvumele noma ubani akwenze ukholelwe ngenye indlela futhi. Indlela yakho eya ekwelapheni ngokomzwelo ingase ibe yinde, kodwa isinyathelo ngasinye sikusondeza ekuphileni okujabulisayo, nokwanelisayo. Zikholelwe kuwe nasemandleni akho okunqoba lesi silingo. Ikusasa elingcono likulindile.