Ukuhlukumeza ngokomzwelo kuyindlela ukuhlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo Lokhu kuhlukunyezwa okunobuqili nokubhubhisayo kuvame ukushiya izibazi ezijulile ezisulwini zakho. Ebudlelwaneni nomuntu ohlukumezayo ozithanda ngokweqile, lokhu kuhlukunyezwa kuthatha izinhlobo eziyingozi kakhulu futhi okunzima ukuzibona. Lesi sihloko sihlose ukusiza abesifazane abahlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo ukuthi babone izimpawu, baqonde umthelela wazo, futhi bathole izindlela zokuzikhulula.
Izindlela zokukhohlisa zemizwa ze-narcissistic pervert
Umphendukezeli we-narcissistic usebenzisa amasu anhlobonhlobo ukuze alawule imizwa phezu kwesisulu sakhe:
- Le ukukhanyisa igesi Kwenza isisulu singabaze umbono waso ngeqiniso, sisenze sikholelwe ukuthi siyayiqisa noma sicabanga ngezinto.
- Ukuqagela: Uveza amaphutha akhe kanye nokuziphatha okuyinkinga kusisulu sakhe.
- Ukungathembeki ngokomzwelo: Usongela ngokuzilimaza noma ukuhamba ukuze athole lokho akufunayo.
- Ukugxekwa okungapheli: Umelula ngokuphindaphindiwe futhi edelela umlingani wakhe ukuze alulaze ukuzethemba kwakhe.
- Izithembiso eziphukile: Uthembisa izinguquko ezingeke zenzeke.
- Ukushintshana phakathi kwezikhathi zobubele nonya: Lokhu kuziphatha okungazinzile kugcina isisulu sididekile.
Imithelela elimazayo yokuhlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo ekuzethembeni
Ukuhlukumeza ngokomzwelo okuphindaphindiwe kunemiphumela emibi kakhulu ekuzethembeni nasekuphileni kahle kwengqondo yomuntu ohlukunyeziwe:
UCristina unikeza iseshini yomuntu ngamunye ukukusiza uphume ekulawulweni okuhlukumezayo futhi wakhe impilo yakho kabusha.
- Ukulahlekelwa ukuzethemba kuwena kanye nokwahlulela kwakho
- Uzizwa sengathi uyahlanya noma ulahlekelwe umqondo
- Ukunamathela okukhathazekile kanye nokucindezeleka okungapheli
- Ukuhlukaniswa nomphakathi kanye nokulahlekelwa ukuzimela
- Icala elingapheli kanye namahloni
- Ubunzima bokwenza izinqumo
- Ukulahlekelwa ubuwena
Umhlukunyezwa ugcina efake ngaphakathi ukugxekwa futhi azibone engafaneleki, engafanele ukuthandwa.
Bona izimpawu zobudlelwano obuhlukumezayo nomuntu ophendukezela i-narcissistic
Kubalulekile ukufunda ukubona izimpawu zobudlelwano obuhlukumezayo:
- Uhlala uzizwa uzivikela futhi ukhathazekile eduze kwakhe
- Uzizwa sengathi uhamba ngamagobolondo amaqanda ngaso sonke isikhathi
- Imibono nemizwa yakho ayisebenzi ngokuhlelekile noma yenziwe inhlekisa
- Uyaphika noma anciphise ukuhlupheka kwakho lapho uzama ukukhuluma ngakho
- Uyenqaba ukuthatha umthwalo wemfanelo futhi uhlale ekusola
- Uzizwa sengathi ulahlekelwa ubuwena kanye nama-bearings akho
- Abaseduze kwakho bayakhathazeka ngawe kodwa uyabavikela
Uma uzibona kwezinye zalezi zimpawu, kungenzeka ukuthi uyisisulu sokuhlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo.
Ukuqonda umjikelezo wokuhlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo ukuze uzikhulule kangcono kukho
Ukuhlukumeza ngokomzwelo ebudlelwaneni ne-narcissist ngokuvamile kulandela umjikelezo obikezelwayo:
- I-Honeymoon: Ekuqaleni, uyathandeka futhi uyakuqaphela ukukuyenga.
- Ukushuba okukhulayo: Uya ngokuya ecasuka futhi akugxeke.
- Ukuqhuma: Isigameko sidala inkinga lapho ekuhlasela khona ngamazwi nangokomzwelo.
- Ukubuyisana: Uyaxolisa futhi uthembisa ukushintsha ukuze akunqobe.
- Ukuzola: Kuqala inkathi yokuzola ngaphambi kokuba umjikelezo uqale futhi.
Ukuqonda lo mjikelezo kukuvumela ukuthi uhlehle futhi ubone ukuthi izikhathi zokuphumula ezesikhashana.
Amasu okubuyisela ukulawula impilo yakho yomzwelo
Ukuze uzikhulule ekulawuleni imizwa ye-narcissistic pervert, kungabekwa amasu amaningana:
- Gcina idayari ukugcina ithrekhi yezigameko futhi ungangabazi inkumbulo yakho
- Phinda uthintene nemizwa yakho nezidingo zakho
- Qala kabusha izixhumanisi nalabo abaseduze kwakho futhi ubalekele ukuzehlukanisa
- Beka imingcele ecacile futhi uyisebenzise
- Funda ukwenqaba futhi uzigomele
- Zijwayeze ukuzizwela lapho ubhekene nokugxekwa kwangaphakathi
- Xhumana nomelaphi ogxile ekuhlukumezeni i-narcissistic
Isihluthulelo siwukuba kancane kancane uphinde uthole ukuzethemba kuwe kanye nokwahlulela kwakho.
Lungiselela ukuphuma ebudlelwaneni obuhlukumezayo ngokuphepha
Ukushiya ubudlelwano obuhlukumezayo kudinga isibindi nokuzilungiselela:
- Yakha inethiwekhi yokwesekwa eqinile (abangane, umndeni, izinhlangano)
- Lungiselela uhlelo lokuphepha oluphuthumayo
- Beka imali eceleni uma kungenzeka
- Qoqa amadokhumenti akho abalulekile
- Thola indawo ephephile ongaya kuyo
- Ungazivezi izinhloso zakho kusenesikhathi
- Nquma bonke othintana nabo ngemva kokuhamba
Ukuphepha kufanele kube yinto ehamba phambili. Ungangabazi ukufuna usizo kochwepheshe.
Ukuzakha kabusha ngemva kokuhlukunyezwa: inqubo yokuphulukisa yesikhathi eside
Ukwelapha kuthatha isikhathi kodwa kungenzeka:
- Zinike ilungelo lokuzwa yonke imizwa yakho ngaphandle kokwahlulela
- Zitholele kabusha ukuthi ungubani, amanani akho kanye nezifiso zakho
- Funda ukuzethemba futhi
- Sebenza kumanxeba akho okunamathiselwe ekwelashweni
- Zizungeze nabantu abakhathalelayo nabasekelayo
- Zibekele imigomo engokoqobo futhi ubungaze ukuqhubeka kwakho
- Yiba nesineke futhi uzixolele
Kancane kancane, uzophinde uthole amandla akho angaphakathi kanye nenjabulo yakho yokuphila.
Ukunqamula ukuthula: ukubaluleka kokufakaza ukuze uqwashise
Ukukhuluma ngolwazi lwakho, lapho uzizwa ukwazi, kukuvumela ukuthi:
- Zikhulule esisindweni semfihlo nehlazo
- Siza abanye abahlukunyeziwe ukuthi bazibone endabeni yakho
- Ukuqwashisa umphakathi ngeqiniso lokuhlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo
- Faka isandla ekushintsheni isimo sengqondo nemithetho
Izwi lakho linenani futhi lingenza umehluko wangempela.
Ukwakha kabusha ikhono lakho lokwethemba nothando
Ngemuva kobudlelwane obuhlukumezayo, kuvamile ukwesaba ukuhileleka futhi:
- Zinike isikhathi sokuzakha kabusha ngaphambi kokucabangela ubudlelwano obusha
- Funda ukubona izimpawu eziyisixwayiso ze ubuntu obunobuthi
- Sebenza emaphethini akho obudlelwano nomelaphi
- Hamba ngejubane lakho futhi uhloniphe imikhawulo yakho
- Khetha umlingani ohlonipha isidingo sakho sokuzimela
- Khuluma ngokukhululekile mayelana nokwesaba kwakho nalokho okulindele
Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi nokusebenza ngokwakho, kungenzeka ukuthi uphinde uthole ukuzethemba othandweni.
Ukuhlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo kushiya izibazi ezijulile, kodwa ukuphulukiswa kungenzeka. Ngokuqaphela izindlela zokusebenza, ezizungezile nokuzinika isikhathi esidingekayo, ungazikhulula ethonyeni le-narcissistic pervert futhi uphinde ulawule impilo yakho. Khumbula njalo ukuthi ufanelwe ukuhlonishwa, uthando kanye nenjabulo. Amandla akho angaphakathi makhulu kakhulu kunalokho okucabangayo.
Udinga ukukhuluma nomuntu oqondayo?
UCristina ubelokhu esekela izisulu zokuhlukunyezwa ngokuzikhukhumeza iminyaka eminingi. Uhlelo oluqondile lwesenzo lusungulwa kusukela esimisweni sokuqala. Izikhathi zokuqeqesha ngazinye ziyatholakala ngevidiyo (Skype noma WhatsApp) — €100 ngeseshini.
Ufuna ukwesekwa komuntu ngamunye?
UCristina unikeza iseshini yomuntu ngamunye ukukusiza uphume ekulawulweni okuhlukumezayo futhi wakhe impilo yakho kabusha.