Bafundi abathandekayo, uma nithandana nomuntu ohlanekezela ama-narcissistic, kungenzeka ukuthi senivele nibhekane nokuqubuka noma ukweqisa kodlame okungaba kungazelelwe njengoba lusabisa kakhulu. Lezi zindlela zokuziphatha ngeshwa zivamile kubantu abahlushwa yi-pathological narcissism. Kulesi sihloko, sizohlola lesi simo ngokuningiliziwe futhi sikunikeze amathuluzi okubhekana nakho.
Umehluko phakathi kwentukuthelo nokucasuka: uphawu lokutshela
La intukuthelo kuwumuzwa ojwayelekile futhi kwesinye isikhathi ofanele ezimweni ezithile. Angakwazi ukuveza imizwa yakhe ngendlela enempilo nelawulwayo. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukuthukuthela kuwukubonakaliswa okweqile nokungalingani okuvamise ukuba nezimpawu zabahlanekezeli be-narcissistic. Lo mehluko ubalulekile ekuhlonzeni ukuziphatha okuhlukumezayo.
Amarabi azibonakalisa ngokuthi:
UCristina unikeza iseshini yomuntu ngamunye ukukusiza uphume ekulawulweni okuhlukumezayo futhi wakhe impilo yakho kabusha.
- Ukuqhuma okungazelelwe nokushubile
- Ukusabela ngendlela engalingani kulesi simo
- Ushintsho olubonakalayo ebusweni
- Ukulahlekelwa okuphelele kokulawula imizwelo
Izimpawu eziyisixwayiso: ukufunda ukubona ukusondela kwenhlekelele
Ukuze uzivikele, kubalulekile ukufunda ukubona izimpawu eziyisixwayiso zokuhlaselwa yintukuthelo. Izisulu zivame ukubika ukuthi ziqaphele:
- Ukushintsha kwesimo sobuso okucashile
- Ukushuba okuzumayo emzimbeni
- Ukubukeka okuba kubanda noma okusongelayo
- Ukuthula okukhulu ngaphambi nje kokuqhuma
Ngokunaka lezi zimpawu, uzokwazi ukulindela futhi ufinyelele endaweni ephephile ngaphambi kokuba isimo sishube.
Ukuphazamiseka kwemizwelo: enhliziyweni yenkinga
Abaphendukezeli be-Narcissistic bahlushwa ukungakwazi ukulawula imizwa yabo. Lokhu kungasebenzi kahle kuzibonakalisa kuyo yomibili imizwelo emihle nemibi. Bangakwazi ukusuka kokunye okwedlulele kuye kokunye ngokuphazima kweso, benze ukuziphatha kwabo kungabikezeli futhi kube yingozi.
lokhu ukungazinzi ngokomzwelo Lokhu kungachazwa ngokuthi:
- a hypersensitivity ukugxekwa, noma ngabe kuncane kangakanani
- Isidingo esiqhubekayo sokuqinisekisa kwangaphandle
- Ukuzethemba okuphansi okusithwe yi-facade yokuphakama
- Ukungakwazi ukubhekana nokukhungatheka
I-hypersensitivity ye-narcissist: i-trigger yobudlova
Ama-Narcissistic perverts azwela kakhulu kunoma yiluphi uhlobo lokugxeka noma lokubuza, ngisho nokuncane. Lokhu kuzwela kungadala ukusabela okunodlame okungalingani. Kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuthi:
- Ngisho nokuphawula okungenangozi kungahunyushwa njengokuhlasela komuntu siqu
- Ukuzicabangela kwabo okuntekenteke abakwazi ukubekezelela nokuncane ukuklwebheka
- Babona amacala lapho engekho khona
- Ukusabela kwabo kuhlose ukubuyisela umuzwa wabo osongelwa wokuba phezulu
Izinhlobo ezahlukene zodlame: ngale kokushaywa
Udlame olwenziwa umuntu ophendukezela i-narcissistic akupheleli ekuhlaselweni ngokomzimba. Kungathatha izinhlobo eziningi, ngayinye ilimaza njengokulandelayo:
- Udlame lwamazwi: ukumemeza, ukuthuka, ukululaza
- Udlame olungokwengqondo: ukukhohlisa, ukukhanyiswa kwegesi, ukuhlukumeza ngokomzwelo
- Udlame lomnotho: ukulawulwa kwezimali, ukucekelwa phansi kochwepheshe
- Udlame lomphakathi: ukuzihlukanisa, ukudelelwa kulabo abaseduze kwakho
- Udlame locansi: ukuphoqelela, ukungathobeli imvume
Ukubona lezi zinhlobo ezahlukene zodlame kubalulekile ukuze sazi izinga lokuhlukumeza futhi sithathe izinyathelo zokuzivikela kukho.
Umthelela omubi kuzisulu: ukuqonda imiphumela
Ukuqhuma okunodlame kwe-narcissistic pervert kushiya amamaki ajulile kuzisulu zabo. Imiphumela ingaba miningi futhi ihlale njalo:
- Ukucindezeleka kwangemva kokuhlukumezeka
- Ukudangala nokukhathazeka
- Ukulahlekelwa ukuzethemba kuwena nakwabanye
- Izinkinga zobudlelwano
- Izinkinga zempilo ezingokomzimba ezihlobene nokucindezeleka okungapheli
Kubalulekile ukuqaphela le mithelela ukuqala inqubo yokuphulukisa nokwakha kabusha.
Amasu okuzivikela: ukuzivikela kanjani lapho ubhekene nodlame
Lapho sibhekene ne-narcissistic pervert ethambekele ekubeni nodlame, kubalulekile ukubeka amasu okuvikela:
- Dala uhlelo lokuphepha lwenhlekelele
- Yakha inethiwekhi yokusekela (abangane, umndeni, ochwepheshe)
- Bhala izehlakalo zodlame (izinsuku, amaqiniso, ubufakazi uma kungenzeka)
- Funda ukubeka imingcele eqinile futhi uyigcine
- Cabangela ukushiya ubudlelwano uma ukuphepha kwakho kusongelwa
Khumbula njalo ukuthi ukuphepha kwakho nokuphila kahle kuza kuqala.
Umjikelezo wodlame: ukuqonda ukuze uzikhulule kangcono kukho
Udlame ebudlelwaneni ne-narcissist ngokuvamile lulandela iphethini yomjikelezo:
- Ukukhula kwengcindezi
- Ukuqhuma kodlame
- Isigaba se-Contrition noma “i-honeymoon”
- Buyela kokujwayelekile, bese uqalisa kabusha umjikelezo
Ukubona lo mjikelezo kungakusiza ukuthi ulindele izigaba eziyingozi futhi uqaphele ukuthi izikhathi zokuzola zingezesikhashana.
Ukubaluleka kokusekela kochwepheshe: ungabi wedwa
Uma ubhekene nodlame lomuntu ophendukezela i-narcissistic, kubalulekile ukuthi ungahlali wedwa. Ukwesekwa kochwepheshe kungakusiza:
- Ukuqonda izindlela zokuhlukunyezwa kwe-narcissistic
- Thuthukisa amasu okuvikela asebenzayo
- Sebenzela ukuzethemba nokuzethemba
- Ukunqoba ukuhlukumezeka okuhlobene nodlame olwenzekile
- Lungiselela ukuhlukana okungenzeka ngokuphepha okuphelele
Ungangabazi ukuxhumana nomelaphi onguchwepheshe ukuhlukunyezwa kwe-narcissistic noma ukuxhumana nezinhlangano ezisekela izisulu.
Ukwakha kabusha impilo yakho ngemuva kodlame: indlela eya ekwelapheni
Ukushiya ubudlelwano obuhlukumezayo nomuntu ophendukezela i-narcissistic kuyinqubo ethatha isikhathi nesibindi. Nazi ezinye izinyathelo zokukusiza ngokwakha kabusha kwakho:
- Zinike isikhathi sokululama futhi uzithole
- Zizungeze nabantu abakhathalelayo nabasekelayo
- Sebenzela ukuzethemba kwakho nokuzethemba kwakho
- Funda ukuhlonza nokuhlonipha izidingo nemingcele yakho
- Cabangela ukwelashwa ukusiza kule nqubo yokwelapha
Khumbula ukuthi ufanelwe impilo engenabo udlame nokuthi ukuphulukiswa kungenzeka.
Ukuqhuma noma ukweqisa kodlame: Isiphetho
Sengiphetha, ukuhlaselwa noma ukweqisa kwe udlame lwe-narcissistic pervert ziyizibonakaliso eziyingozi zobuntu obuphazamiseke kakhulu. Ngokuqonda lezi zindlela, ukuqaphela izimpawu eziyisixwayiso nokusebenzisa amasu okuvikela, ungakwazi futhi ukulawula impilo yakho futhi uzikhulule kulobu budlelwano obunobuthi. Ungalokothi ukhohlwe ukuthi unamandla ngaphakathi kuwe okunqoba lesi silingo futhi wakhe ikusasa elingcono. Awuwedwa, futhi usizo luyatholakala. Zinakekele futhi wenze ukuphepha kwakho nokuphila kahle kube yinto eza kuqala kuwe.
Udinga ukukhuluma nomuntu oqondayo?
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Ufuna ukwesekwa komuntu ngamunye?
UCristina unikeza iseshini yomuntu ngamunye ukukusiza uphume ekulawulweni okuhlukumezayo futhi wakhe impilo yakho kabusha.