Ukunyakaza kokunqatshwa: indlela yokuvikela ye-narcissistic pervert

Ebudlelwaneni obunobuthi obuhilela i-narcissist, izisulu zivame ukubhekana nokuziphatha okudidayo nokulimazayo. Phakathi kwalokhu kuziphatha, “ukunyakaza kokulahla” kunendawo ekhethekile. Lesi sihloko sihlose ukuhlola ngokujulile umqondo wokwenqaba ukunyakaza, ukuvezwa kwawo, kanye nomthelela wawo kwabesifazane ababanjwe ebuhlotsheni nomuntu ophendukela ku-narcissistic.

Incazelo kanye nemvelaphi yesiphakamiso sokuchithwa

Umnyakazo wokwenqatshwa wukuziphatha lapho umuntu ophendukezela i-narcissistic ephusha isisulu sakhe ngendlela enonya futhi engazelelwe, ngokuvamile ngaphandle kwesizathu esibonakalayo. Lokhu kwenqatshwa kungathatha izinhlobo eziningi, kusukela ekungabini nandaba okubandayo kuya ebutha obusobala. Ukuze uqonde lesi simo, kubalulekile ukuhlola izimpande zayo ezingokwengqondo.

Ukwenqatshwa njengethuluzi lokulawula imizwa kunomsuka wokungavikeleki okujulile kwe-PN. Ayikwazi ukuphatha ukusondelana kwangempela kanye nokwesaba ukulahlwa, i-narcissistic pervert isebenzisa ukwenqaba njengendlela yokuvikela yokuvikela. Ngokulahla omunye, ukholelwa ukuthi ugwema ukwaliwa yena.

Ukubonakaliswa okuphathekayo kwesiphakamiso sokwenqaba

Ukwenqatshwa okuhlelwe yi-PN kungazibonakalisa ngezindlela eziningi:

• Ukuthula isikhathi eside nokwenqaba ukuxhumana
• Ukugxekwa okuqinile nokubeka phansi njalo
• Ukuqhelelana ngokomzimba nangokomzwelo
• Ukuqhathaniswa okungekuhle nabanye abantu
• Ukuthotshiswa esidlangalaleni noma kwangasese

Lezi zindlela zokuziphatha zihlose ukuthunaza isisulu nokudala umuzwa wokungavikeleki unomphela ebudlelwaneni.

Umthelela ongokwengqondo wesiphakamiso sokuchitha izisulu

Imiphumela yalolu hlobo lokuziphatha empilweni yengqondo yezisulu mikhulu:

• Ukulahlekelwa ukuzethemba kanye ukuzethemba
• Ukukhathazeka okungapheli kanye nesimo sokukhathala ukucindezeleka kwangemva kokuhlukumezeka
• Ukucindezeleka nokucabanga ukuzibulala ezimweni ezimbi kakhulu
• Ukudideka ngokomzwelo nangokomqondo (ukukhanya kwegesi)
• Ukuzihlukanisa emphakathini kanye nokulahlekelwa ama-bearings

Isisulu sizithola sisesimweni sokuba sengozini enkulu, sifuna njalo ukuqonda kanye “nokulungisa” ubudlelwano.

Izindlela eziyisisekelo zesiphakamiso sokuchithwa

Ukuze uqonde ngokugcwele ukuguquguquka komnyakazo wokwenqaba, kubalulekile ukuhlola izinqubo zengqondo eziwubhebhethekisayo:

1. Umjikelezo we-idealization-devaluation: Isiphakamiso sokwenqaba ngokuvamile siyingxenye yomjikelezo obanzi wokuqagela kanye nokwehla. I-PN ishintshana phakathi kwezikhathi lapho ebeka isisulu sakhe esinyathelweni kanye nezigaba zokwenqatshwa okunonya. Le phethini idala ukuncika ngokomzwelo kumuntu ohlukunyeziwe, ohlale efuna ukuphinda athathe izikhathi zokucabanga kahle.
2. Ukuqagela kokungavikeleki kwe-PN: Ukwenqatshwa kungabonwa njengokungavikeleki komuntu ophendukezela i-narcissistic. Ngokwenqaba enye, iveza ngaphandle ukwesaba kwakhe ukulahlwa nokungafaneleki, kukwenze kuthwale isisulu sakhe.
3. Isidingo sokulawula namandla: Isiphakamiso sokwenqaba sisebenza futhi ekugcineni ukungalingani kwamandla ebudlelwaneni. Ngokugcina umlingani wakhe esesimweni sokungaqiniseki njalo, i-PN iqinisekisa ukuthi ugcina ukulawula ngokomzwelo nokuthatha izinqumo.

Izici ezikhulisayo zesiphakamiso sokuchithwa

Izinto ezithile zingaqinisa umthelela kanye nemvamisa yokuziphatha okwenqabayo:

• Ukuhlukaniswa nomphakathi kwesisulu: Lapho isisulu sihlukaniswa kakhulu nenethiwekhi yabo yokwesekwa, yilapho sincika kakhulu ku-NP futhi sibe sengozini yokwaliwa.
• Ukuhlukumezeka kwangaphambilini: Abesifazane abanolwazi lwangaphambilini lokulahlwa noma ukwenqatshwa kungenzeka ukuthi bathinteke ngokujulile ngesiphakamiso sokwenqaba i-PN.
• Ubude besikhathi sobudlelwano: Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, imijikelezo yokwenqatshwa ingakhula, ikhulise igebe lomzwelo nelomqondo phakathi kwe-NP kanye nezisulu zabo.

Imiphumela Yesikhathi Eside Yokuchayeka Kusiphakamiso Sokuchitha

Umthelela walokhu kuziphatha okunobuthi awukhawulelwe kubude bobudlelwano. Imiphumela ingase iqhubeke isikhathi eside ngemva kokuphela:

• Izinkinga zobudlelwano ezizayo: Izisulu zingase zihlakulele ukwesaba ukusondelana kanye nobunzima bokuthembela ebudlelwaneni obuzayo.
• Ukuphazamiseka kokunamathiselwe: Ukuchayeka kaningi ekwaliwe kungashintsha unomphela amaphethini okunamathiselwe esisulu, kube nomthelela ebudlelwaneni babo besikhathi eside phakathi kwabantu.
• Izinkinga zempilo yomzimba: Ukucindezeleka okungapheli okubangelwa ukunyakaza kokwenqatshwa kungase kube nomthelela empilweni yomzimba, ikakhulukazi ohlelweni lokuzivikela komzimba kanye nenhliziyo.

Umnyakazo wokwenqaba esimeni somphakathi

Kubalulekile ukubeka lesi simo endaweni ebanzi:

• Imibono yobulili kanye nesiphakamiso sokunqatshwa: Izinkambiso zomphakathi kanye nemibono yobulili ngezinye izikhathi ingenza kube yinto evamile ukuziphatha okuthile okwenqabayo, kukwenze kube nzima kakhulu ukukukhomba nokulwa.
• Umthelela ezinganeni: Emindenini lapho lolu hlobo lokuguquguquka lukhona, izingane zingase zifake ngaphakathi amaphethini obudlelwano angasebenzi, okungenzeka aqhubekisele phambili umjikelezo ebudlelwaneni bazo besikhathi esizayo.

Izinkomba ze-bibliographic ngomqondo wokwenqatshwa

• Baumeister, R. F., & Leary, M. R. (1995). Isidingo sokuba yingxenye: Isifiso sokunamathiselwe phakathi kwabantu njengesisusa esiyisisekelo somuntu. I-Psychological Bulletin, 117(3), 497-529.
• DeWall, C.N., & Bushman, B.J. (2011). Ukwamukelwa nokwaliwa komphakathi: Okumnandi nokubabayo. Izikhombisi-ndlela zamanje kuSayensi Yengqondo, 20(4), 256-260.
• MacDonald, G., & Leary, M.R. (2005). Kungani ukukhishwa inyumbazana kulimaza? Ubudlelwano phakathi kobuhlungu benhlalo nomzimba. Umbiko Wezengqondo, 131(2), 202-223.
• Downey, G., & Feldman, S.I. (1996). Imithelela yokuzwela kokwaliwa kobudlelwane obuseduze. Ijenali Yobuntu Nenhlalakahle Yengqondo, 70(6), 1327-1343.
• Bourgeois, KS, & Leary, MR (2001). Ukubhekana nokulahlwa: Ukubukela phansi labo abasikhethayo ekugcineni. Ukugqugquzela kanye Nemizwa, 25(2), 101-111.
• U-Smart Richman, L., & Leary, M.R. (2009). Ukusabela ekubandlululweni, ekucwaseni, ekucwaseni, kanye nezinye izinhlobo zokwenqatshwa phakathi kwabantu: imodeli ehlanganisa izinto eziningi. Ukubuyekezwa Kwengqondo, i-116 (2), 365-383.

Lolu hlu luhlanganisa izici ezihlukahlukene zokulahlwa, okuhlanganisa imiphumela yalo yengqondo nemizwa, imithelela yalo ebudlelwaneni babantu, namasu okubhekana nokubhekana nokwaliwa.

Isiphetho

Sengiphetha, isiphakamiso sokuthi kuchithwe simele isici esicashile nesilimazayo sobudlelwano nomuntu ohlanekezela i-narcissistic. Ukuqonda le ndlela kuyisinyathelo esibalulekile kwabesifazane abayizisulu zalokhu ukuziphatha okunobuthi. Ngokuhlonza lawa maphethini, bangaqala ukulungisa ithonya elingokwengqondo elenziwa yi-NP futhi baqale inqubo yokuphulukisa. Kubalulekile ukuqaphela ukuthi lokhu kuziphatha akubonisi ukubaluleka kwangaphakathi komuntu ohlukunyeziwe, kodwa kuwumphumela wokungavikeleki okujulile kanye nokungasebenzi kahle kwe-narcissist ngokwakhe.