Ukuhlangana nomuntu onesiphiwo: Indlela entsha yezisulu ze-PN

Ukuhlangana nendoda enesiphiwo kungamela isahluko esisha sabesifazane abaye baba izisulu zama-narcissistic perverts. Iphrofayili yabanesiphiwo, evamise ukubonakala ngokuzwela okukhulu nobuhlakani obukhethekile, inganikeza enye indlela epholile futhi enothisa ngokujulile. Lesi sihloko sihlola ukuthi abantu besifazane, abake baphathwa ama-narcissists, bangazuza kanjani ebuhlotsheni nendoda enesiphiwo.

Ukuqonda iphrofayili yabantu abanesiphiwo

Umuntu onesiphiwo, ovame ukubizwa I-HPI (High Intellectual Potential), ihlukaniswa ngezici ezimbalwa eziyisisekelo ezingathonyi nje kuphela indlela yabo yokucabanga kodwa nendlela yabo yokusebenzelana nabanye. Lezi zici zihlanganisa:

• Ngaphezu kobuhlakani obumaphakathi : Abanesiphiwo banekhono lokuqonda elikhethekile, elibavumela ukuthi baxazulule izinkinga eziyinkimbinkimbi futhi bahlaziye izimo ngokujula okungajwayelekile. Lolu hlobo lobuhlakani lungakha ukuguquguquka kobudlelwano lapho ukushintshana kobuhlakani kwaziswa futhi kukhuthaze.
• Ukuzwela okukhulu ngokomzwelo : Uzwela olukhulu lwabanesiphiwo lubavumela ukuba babone futhi baqonde imizwa yabanye ngendlela enhle kakhulu. Lokhu kuzwela kungase kubenze banake ngokukhethekile izidingo ezingokomzwelo zomlingani wabo, okuwusizo olukhulu kowesifazane olinyazwe umuntu ohlanekezelekayo we-narcissistic.
• I-introspection ephinyisiwe : Abantu abanesiphiwo bavame ukuphendukela emhlabeni wabo wangaphakathi ukuze bacabange, bahlaziye futhi baqonde izehlakalo ezimpilweni zabo. Lokhu kuhlola ngezinye izikhathi kungase kuzwakale njengokuphupha emini, kodwa kubalulekile enhlalakahleni yabo engokwengqondo.
• Isizungu okukhethiwe Ngokungafani ne-ukuzihlukanisa emphakathini Ukuba wedwa okuphoqelelwe, ukuba wedwa okukhethiwe kwabantu abaneziphiwo kuyisidingo sokuzola nokuhoxa, okuvame ukudingeka ukuze kushajwe futhi kucutshungulwe ulwazi abaluqoqayo. Kubalingani babo, ukuqonda nokuhlonipha lesi sidingo kubalulekile ekugcineni ubudlelwano obuhle.

Lezi zici zenza i onesiphiwo ikakhulukazi ukunaka izidingo zomlingani wabo, isici esivame ukungabi khona ebudlelwaneni nama-narcissists, lapho uzwela luntula khona.

Izinselelo ezithile zokuhlobana nomuntu onesiphiwo

Nakuba ubudlelwano nomuntu onesiphiwo bungase bubonakale buhle ngemva kokushiya umuntu ophendukezela i-narcissistic, abunazo izinselele. Lezi zinselele zingabandakanya:

• Ukulawula imizwa ejulile : Abantu abanesiphiwo bavamise ukuzwa imizwa yabo ngamandla athile. Lokhu kungaba kokubili isipho nomthwalo, njengoba bengase bakhungathekiswe imizwa yabo siqu. Kozakwethu, ukufunda ukuzulazula kulawa manzi athinta imizwa kwesinye isikhathi kungase kudide, ikakhulukazi uma bephuma ebudlelwaneni lapho imizwa yabo ibihlala ingavumelekile.
• Ukuthambekela kokuhlaziya ngokweqile : Ukuthambekela kwabanekhono ukuhlaziya isimo ngasinye ngokujulile ngezinye izikhathi kungaholela ekungaqondini. Isibonelo, ukuphawula okulula kungahlukaniswa ngezindlela eziyinkimbinkimbi, ezingadala ukungezwani uma bobabili abalingani bengekho kubude obufanayo be-waveleng mayelana nokuxhumana.
• Isidingo sokuba wedwa : Abanesiphiwo ngokuvamile badinga ukuhoxa ukuze bacabange futhi baphinde bagxile. Kumlingani oke waba yisisulu sokuxhashazwa, lesi sidingo sokuba wedwa singabhekwa njengokulahlwa noma ukuntula uthando. Ngakho-ke kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuthi lobu bodwa buyindlela yabo yokugcina ukulinganisela kwabo ngokomzwelo, hhayi uphawu lokungabi nasithakazelo.

Izinzuzo zokuhlangana nomuntu onesiphiwo kuzisulu zama-narcissistic perverts

Kowesifazane oye wasetshenziswa umuntu ophendukezela i-narcissistic, ubudlelwano nendoda enesiphiwo bunganikeza izinzuzo ezibalulekile. Nasi isizathu:

• Uzwela lwemvelo : Ukuzwela kwabantu abanesiphiwo kubenza bakwazi ukuqonda nokuhlonipha amanxeba angokomzwelo ophathina babo. Ngokungafani ne-narcissist, i-overachiever izofuna ukusiza umlingani wayo ukuthi alulame futhi akhe kabusha, enikeza ukwesekwa kwangempela, okungezona ukuzisiza.
• Ingxoxo ejulile : Abantu abanesiphiwo bavame ukuba nentshiseko ngezingxoxo zobuhlakani nezemizwa. Lokhu kushintshana kungaholela ekucebiseni ukuqondana, ukuvumela umlingani wabo ukuba azizwe ebonwa, ezwiwa futhi ehlonishwa, imizwa evame ukuphikwa ebuhlotsheni nomuntu oyi-narcissist.
• Ukuhlonipha ukuzimela : Ngenkathi umuntu ohlanekezela i-narcissistic efuna ukulawula nokubusa, umuntu ophumelele ngokweqile ngokuvamile uyakwazisa ukuzimela nobuntu bozakwethu. Lokhu kuguquguquka kusivumela ukuthi sakhe ubudlelwano lapho umuntu ngamunye engachuma khona ngokugcwele, ngaphandle kokwesaba ukuncipha noma ukulawulwa.

Ungasondela kanjani ebuhlotsheni nomuntu onesiphiwo ngemuva kokuhlangenwe nakho okunobuthi?

Lapho ushiya ubuhlobo obunobuthi, kubalulekile ukuthatha isikhathi sokuphulukisa ngaphambi kokuzibophezela ebuhlotsheni obusha, ikakhulukazi nomuntu onesiphiwo. Nawa amanye amathiphu okusondela kulobu budlelwano obusha ngendlela enempilo nelinganiselayo:

• Zinike isikhathi sokuzazi : Ngaphambi kokuthi ugxumele ebudlelwaneni obusha, qiniseka ukuthi usupholile ebuhlungwini bakho bangaphambili. Lokhu kusho ukusebenza ngokuzethemba kwakho, ukuqonda ukuthi yini oyifunayo ngempela ebuhlotsheni, futhi ulungele ukuqhubekela phambili ngaphandle kokuhudula izingozi zobudlelwane bakho obudala.
• Khuluma ngokukhululekile : Ukuxhumana kuyisihluthulelo sokugwema ukungezwani. Yiba obala ngalokho okulindele, ukwesaba kwakho kanye nezidingo zakho. Abantu abanesiphiwo ngokuvamile bayakwazisa ukuxhumana okuthembekile nokuqondile ngoba kubavumela ukuba baqonde kangcono abalingani babo futhi bavumelanise ukuziphatha kwabo ngokufanele.
• Ukubekezela nomusa : Bonke ubudlelwano budinga isikhathi ukuze buthuthuke, ikakhulukazi ngemva kokuhlangenwe nakho okubuhlungu. Nikelani isikhathi sokuqonda ukungezwani kwenu futhi nifunde ukukwazisa. Umusa kuwena nakwabanye kubalulekile ekwakheni ubudlelwano obuqinile.

Ukuba wedwa okuzuzisayo: Iphuzu elivamile phakathi kwezisulu kanye nabanesiphiwo

Isici esithakazelisayo sokuhlangana nomuntu onesiphiwo ukuthi bobabili abathintekayo bangajabulela kanjani ukuba yedwa. Lesi sidingo sokuba yedwa singadlala indima ebalulekile ekwelapheni nasekuphileni kahle komuntu. Nansi indlela lokhu okungabonakala ngayo ebudlelwaneni:

• Isikhathi sakho : Abanesiphiwo, njengabantu abaye bahlupheka ngenxa yobudlelwano nama-narcissists, bavame ukuthola induduzo ngokuzola kanye nokuzihlola. Ukuba nesikhathi sakho kuvumela wonke umuntu ukuthi ashaje amabhethri futhi abuyele ebudlelwaneni namandla avuselelwe.
• Ukugwema ukungqubuzana : Ukuhloniphana ngalezi zikhathi zokuba wedwa kunganciphisa ukungezwani nokungaqondi. Uma uzakwethu ngamunye eqonda ukuthi lezi zikhathi zokuhoxa azilona uphawu lokungabi nantshisekelo kodwa ziyisidingo somuntu siqu, lokhu kungagwema izingxabano eziningi.
• Ukuphulukiswa ngokomzwelo : Kuzisulu zama-narcissists, lezi zikhathi zokuba wedwa okwabiwe zingasiza ukwakha kabusha ubunikazi bazo. Ngokuba sebudlelwaneni nomuntu osiqondayo futhi esihloniphayo lesi sidingo, bangagxila ekwelapheni ngaphandle kokucindezela kwangaphandle.

Ukuqondanisa ubuhlakani bomzwelo kanye ne-intellectualism

Esinye sezici ezizuzisa kakhulu zobudlelwano nomuntu onesiphiwo ukuthi kungenzeka ukubuyisana ubuhlakani bemizwa kanye nobuhlakani. Kowesifazane oke waba yisisulu sokuxhashazwa, le nhlanganisela inganikeza indawo evundile yokuthuthukiswa komuntu siqu kanye nobudlelwane.

• Inkulumo ngaphandle kokwahlulela : Abantu abanesiphiwo bavame ukukwazisa ubuhlakani, kodwa futhi bayakuqonda ukubaluleka imizwa. Lokhu kwakha indawo lapho ukukhula komuntu siqu kungakhuthazwa kuphela kodwa kuyaziswa. Abesifazane abaye bathuliswa noma imizwa yabo incishisiwe ebudlelwaneni be-narcissistic ekugcineni bangazizwa bekhululekile ukuveza imizwa yabo ngokugcwele, ngaphandle kokwesaba ukwahlulelwa noma ukubukelwa phansi.
• Ukucebisana : Ikhono lokuxoxa ngezihloko ezihlakaniphile ngenkathi wabelana ngolwazi olujulile lwemizwa lingaqinisa isibopho phakathi kwabalingani. Lokhu kubuyisana phakathi kwekhanda nenhliziyo kusivumela ukuba sakhe ubudlelwano obulinganiselayo lapho wonke umuntu ezwa ezwiwa, ehlonishwa futhi ehlonishwa ngalokho ayikho ngempela.

Isiphetho: Ukuhlangana nomuntu onesiphiwo, indlela entsha eya ekugcwalisekeni

Ukuhlangana nomuntu onesiphiwo kungavula indlela eya ebudlelwaneni obunempilo nobanelisayo kwabesifazane abasinde ekukhohlisweni komuntu ohlanekezelwe yi-narcissistic. Nakuba lobu budlelwano bungafika nezinselele zabo, buphinde bunikeze ithuba eliyingqayizivele lokuphulukisa nokukhula ndawonye. Ngokuhlanganisa ubuhlakani, ukuzwela kanye nokuqondana, le mibhangqwana ingakha ubuhlobo obuqinile, obusekelwe ekuhlonipheni nasekuzweleni.