Ukuba Nomkhwekazi Okhohlakele Oyi-Narcissistic – Kuzwakala Kanjani?

Inganekwane yomamezala ononya ebhekise kumkhwenyana noma umalokazana wakhe ngokuvamile iye yehliselwa ezingeni lefilimu nochungechunge lweskripthi. Ngempela, ukuba khona kwe-a umama ongamzali onarcissistic ohlanekezelwe izokukhombisa ukuthi uyini umuntu wase Machiavellian futhi okhohlisayo.

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Indlela yokubona umamezala onobuthi?

Ukwazi kanjani ukubona umamezala okhohlisayo? Kufanele ngabe uyazi ukuthi uyini umkhwekazi ohlanekezelwe. Ungumuntu wase Machiavellian ozozama ukuzibophezela empilweni yomlingani noma umlingani wengane yakhe. Ngokwezibalo u-25% womalokazana uthi awuzwani noninazala. Futhi u-60% uze ube nobudlelwane obubi kakhulu nomama womlingani wabo.

Ngokuvamile lizocasha ngezaba ezifana nalezi: “Ngichichima uthando ngawe,” “ngikusho lokhu ukuze kuzuze wena”. Nazi izindlela zokuyibona:

• Uzofuna ukunikeza umbono wakhe, noma aze awuphoqelele kubashadikazi kukho konke abakwenzayo.
• Umkhwekazi ohlanekezelwe yi-narcissistic naye uzoba nenkinga yokwamukela ukugxekwa.
• Ebantwaneni, uzozibonakalisa engonamandla kakhulu, aze enze izindlela ezinonya zokubeka a ukuhlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo.
• Angabonisa umlingiswa onodlame lapho ekhuluma nalabo abaseduze kwakhe.

Izikhali ezi-5 zokukhohlisa umamezala weNarcissistic Pervert 

Ukuze afeze umgomo wakhe, umamezala onama-narcissistic angakwazi ukuxhaphaza ngezindlela ezihlukahlukene. Uzozisebenzisa ukuze azisungulele owakhe umbono. Amandla ayo ingxenye enkulu yawo ancike esiteji.

Izindlela ezifana ne-blackmail zivame kakhulu, ngakho-ke nazi izibonelo:

1. Izinyembezi zengwenya: Umamezala angase abonakale esesimweni esidabukisayo. Uzoqinisekisa ukuthi indodana nomalokazana wakhe bayathinteka ngesimo sakhe ukuze bamzwele. Izigcawu ezikhala izinyembezi ezikhumbula amanga adlule, aklanywe kahle. Uzonikeza ukulingisa kwakhe okuhle kakhulu ukuthambisa inhliziyo yakho.
2. Ukusetshenziswa kwengcindezi yezezimali: Umamezala angase azame ukubayenga ngosizo lwezimali. Kodwa lokhu kuvame ukuxhunyaniswa ne-quid pro quo yokwenza lokho akushoyo ngaso sonke isikhathi.
3. Ukungathembeki ngokomzwelo: Lesi sikhali siwusizo ngempela kuye lapho ezwa ukuthi isimo singaphezu kwamandla akhe. Kodwa futhi, lapho umbhangqwana kubonakala kunzima ukuthonya. Usingamama ohlanekezelwe ohlanekezelwe uzojikisa izingane kumzali wazo. Lesi sikhali sivumela umamezala ukuthi abe namandla amakhulu phezu kwabashadikazi njengoba umkhohlisi womzwelo.
4. Shintshela icala kubabhangqwana: Le ndlela yaziwa kakhulu ngabantu abaziphatha kabi ngokwedlulele. Iqukethe ukwenza umuntu azizwe enecala Isisulu sibhekene nesimo somhlukumezi. Ngakho-ke izingane zikamama wesibili zizozizwa zinecala. Angase asebenzise ngisho namagama abuhlungu, azibize ngokuthi azibongi futhi azinanhliziyo.
5. Sebenzisa indima yakho njengomama: Angasebenzisa le ndlela enganeni yakhe ukuze akujikise yona. Lokhu kusho ukuthi ngeke usasekelwa umyeni noma umkakho.

Umthelela wokuziphatha kukamamezala one-narcissistic kusisulu sakhe

Ukuziphatha kukasingamama onganakwa kungaba nemithelela ejulile nehlala njalo kusisulu sakhe, ngokuvamile umalokazana noma umkhwenyana wakhe. Nakhu ukuhlaziya okuningiliziwe kwale mithelela:

1. Ukuwohloka kokuzethemba

• Ukugxeka njalo : Umkhwekazi othanda ukubhuqa uvame ukuhlale egxeka isisulu sakhe, okungase kuqede isithunzi somuntu ohlukunyeziwe.
• Ukuqhathanisa okungekuhle : Angase aqhathanise isisulu sakhe ngokungafanele nabanye abantu, aqinise imizwa yokungafaneleki.
• Ukungavunyelwa kwemizwa : Ngokunciphisa noma ukuphika imizwa yesisulu sakhe, angenza isisulu singabaze imibono nemizwa yaso.

2. Ukukhathazeka okungapheli nokucindezeleka

• Ukuhamba ngamagobolondo amaqanda : Umhlukunyezwa angase abe nokukhathazeka okungapheli, njalo esaba ukubangela ukusabela okungekuhle kumamezala.
• Ukulindela izingxabano : Ukucindezeleka kokulindela imibuthano yomkhaya kungase kube okungaphezu kwamandla.
• Ukuzilibazisa : Ukukhathazeka kungazibonakalisa ngezimpawu zomzimba ezifana nekhanda elibuhlungu, izinkinga zokugaya ukudla noma izinkinga zokulala.

3. Ukuphazamiseka kobudlelwane bomndeni

• Ukushuba kwesimo kwabashadile : Ubudlelwano phakathi kwesisulu nophathina wakhe bungaphazamiseka, ikakhulukazi uma uphathina engaboni noma engayiphathi kahle indlela yokuziphatha kamama wakhe.
• Ukuhlukaniswa nomndeni : Umhlukumezi angase aziqhelelanise nomndeni ukuze agweme ukuxhumana nomamezala ononya.
• Umthelela ezinganeni : Uma isisulu sinezingane, zingase zichayeke ezintweni ezishintshayo zomndeni ezingenampilo noma zisetshenziswe njengama-pawn ezenzweni zikamamazala.

4. Ukuzithanda nokudideka

• ukukhanya kwegesi : Umkhwekazi one-narcissistic angase asebenzise amasu okukhohlisa ngokwengqondo, okuholela isisulu ukuba singabaze iqiniso laso siqu.
• Ukuphelelwa ukuzethemba ekwahluleleni komuntu : Ngokuzibuza, isisulu singalahlekelwa ukuzethemba emandleni abo okwenza izinqumo.
• Ukudideka ngokomzwelo : Isisulu singase sibe nemizwa engqubuzanayo, siguqe phakathi kwesifiso sokwamukelwa kanye nentukuthelo ngenxa yokuphathwa kabi.

5. Imithelela yempilo yengqondo yesikhathi eside

• Ukucindezeleka : Ukuchayeka isikhathi eside endaweni enobuthi kungaholela eziqephuni ezicindezelayo.
• I-post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) : Ezimweni ezimbi kakhulu, isisulu singase sibe nezimpawu ze-PTSD.
• I-Generalized Anxiety Disorder : Ukukhathazeka okungapheli kungadlulela ekubeni isifo sokukhathazeka emhlabeni wonke, esithinta izici ezihlukahlukene zokuphila.

6. Izinkinga zobudlelwane

• Ukungathembani okusabalele : Isisulu singase sibe nobunzima bokwethemba abanye, kuhlanganise nobuhlobo obungaphandle komkhaya.
• Ukukhiqizwa kabusha kwemidwebo : Ngaphandle kokuqwashisa nomsebenzi wokwelapha, kunengozi yokukhiqiza kabusha amandla anobuthi kobunye ubudlelwano.
• Ubunzima bokubeka imingcele : Umhlukumezi angase abe nobunzima bokusungula nokugcina imingcele enempilo ebudlelwaneni obuzayo.

Indlela yokulondoloza ngempumelelo ubuhlobo bakho kusukela ekubanjweni komkhwekazi we-narcissistic?

Ukuze ulondoloze ubuhlobo bakho, udinga ukwazi lokho Ukujabulisa umamezala wakho akusona isisombululo. Ungaziphoqi ukuthi ube yilowo nalowo alingisayo. Awusoze waba lo afuna ukumbona nengane yakhe. Zama ukumjabulisa ngazo zonke izindlela uzoqinisa kuphela ukubambelela anakho phezu kwakho futhi akhiphe ngisho nangaphezulu ubuntu obunobuthi.

Indlela engcono kakhulu wukuvula amehlo omlingani wakho ukuthi umamezala wakho uyisikhohlakali esinamazwi. Ngempela, kubalulekile ukuthi okwakamuva kube ngasohlangothini lwakho. Kuyokwenzeka ke ukuthi nihlangane niyeke lento efunwa umamezala wakho. Uma ungenaye ohlangothini lwakho, kuyoba nzima ukusindisa noma ukulondoloza ubuhlobo bakho.

Kungenzeka yini ukubalekela ithonya likamamazala we-Pervert Narcissistic?

Yebo, kungenzeka ukubalekela ithonya likamamazala ohlanekezelwe we-narcissistic. Kukuwe ukuthi ulwe ukuze uzikhulule ethonyeni lawo. Lokhu kudinga isineke namandla. Inganekwane kasingamama omubi iyovame ukuvela futhi ungase uxabane nomlingani wakho. Nokho, kubalulekile ukuxazulula ukushiya lesi simo esinobuthi ngazo zonke izindleko.

Ireferensi yebhayibhiliyoni yomkhwekazi we-narcissistic

Nalu uhlu lwezikhombo eziyisikhombisa zebhayibhili ngendikimba ethi “umamezala onganaki”:

1. Racamier, uPaul-Claude (1986). “Phakathi kobuhlungu bengqondo, ukuphika kwengqondo kanye nokuhlanekezela kwe-narcissistic”. Ijenali yesiFulentshi yePsychoanalysis, indiza. 50, no.
2. UJoly, uMarc noRoquebert, uCorentin (2021). “Kusuka kumama onobungane kuya kumlingani okhohlakele.” Zilsel: Isayensi, ubuchwepheshe, umphakathi.
3. Fromm-Reichmann, Frieda (1948). “Amanothi ngokuthuthukiswa kokwelashwa kwe-schizophrenics nge-psychoanalytic psychotherapy”. I-Psychiatry, indiza. 11, no.
4. Nosali, Serge (2020). Ukuquleka kanye ne-narcissism engcupheni yezifunda zomngcele: ukuya esihlokweni sesithathu. Ithisisi yobudokotela, HAL.
5. Diguer, Louis et al. (2010). “Ukuqinisekiswa kwenguqulo ekhuluma isiFulentshi ye-Pathological Narcissism Inventory”. I-Pathological Narcissism Inventory.
6. Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo.net (2024). “Omama abanolaka bazikhohlisa futhi balimaze kanjani izingane zabo? “.
7. Durand, G. (2020). “(Ukuze) sicabange ngesithombe sikamamazala ongenangane emodeli yomndeni ehlanganisiwe.” Iphephandaba laseQuebec le-Psychology.

Lezi zithenjwa zihlinzeka ngohlaka lokuqonda ukuziphatha kwe-narcissistic phakathi kobudlelwane bomndeni kanye namandla nomamazala.

Isiphetho

Sengiphetha, ubudlelwano nomama ongamzali okhohlakele bungaba nomthelela omkhulu enhlalakahleni yengqondo, yemizwa, kanye nobudlelwano yezisulu zakhe. Ukuxhashazwa ngokomzwelo, ukugxekwa okungokomzwelo kanye nokugxeka njalo kungabangela ukuwohloka kokuzethemba, ukukhathazeka okungapheli, kanye nokungezwani ebudlelwaneni. Kodwa-ke, kuyenzeka ukuthi uzikhulule kuleli thonya ngokuqaphela ukukhohlisa nokuthola ukwesekwa kumlingani wakho. Ukuxhumana okucacile kanye nemingcele eqinile kubalulekile ukugcina ubudlelwano bunempilo futhi ugweme ukuwela emjikelezweni onobuthi.