Udlame Lomzimba – Ikhambi Lokuhlukumeza Ngokomzimba?

Ubudlova obungokomzimba bebulokhu buyinkinga yomphakathi. Isithombe sodlame olungokomzimba njengoba sicatshangwa ngekhodi yokujezisa sihlukile kulokho esikubonile ngaphambili. Ukushushumbiswa kwabantu nobugqila kulinganisa nalokhu. Empeleni zibandakanya ukuhlaselwa ngokomzimba okubi kakhulu kumuntu. Ukuze kunqandwe le nkinga, kuye kwasungulwa izindlela eziningi zokusiza izisulu zibhekane nalesi simo esishaqisayo.

Buyini ubudlova obungokomzimba?

Ubudlova obungokomzimba isenzo noma isenzo esihloselwe ukubangela ubuhlungu noma ukulimala komunye umuntu. Kwenziwa ngamabomu. Ngokuphathelene nalokhu, isihloko soMkhandlu WaseYurophu esiphathelene nobudlova obungokomzimba sicaphuna izenzo ezilandelayo ezihlukene: ukushaya, ukushisa, ukukhahlela, ukuluma, ukucwiya, ukubulala, ngokusebenzisa into noma izikhali.

Udlame obenziwa a ukuphoqa kusho ukucindezela i isisulu kokubili ngokwengqondo nangokomzimba. Eqinisweni, umenzi wobubi uzozama ukwenza isisulu siqonde ukuthi uphakeme kunabo. Futhi ukubonisa lokhu ngokusebenzisa amandla yilokho akubheka njengokungcono kakhulu. Kumhlukumezi ohlale efuna amandla, isisho esithi “ngcono ukwesatshwa kunokuhlonishwa” sigqugquzela ukusetshenziswa kobudlova nengcindezelo.

Umthetho omelene nodlame lomzimba

Ikhodi yokujeziswa yesi-French, nakuba inesigaba esiphelele sodlame, ayinikezi incazelo enembile yodlame lomzimba kuphela. Isuka ku ngokunembe kakhulu ngokuvusa izinhlobo ezahlukene zodlame ezihlokweni 222-7 kuye ku-222-16-3. Ukukhathazeka kwesishayamthetho kuvela endimeni yakhe njengesibani sobulungisa.

Umthetho usebenza njengomhlahlandlela wokunquma ukuthi sikusiphi isimo lapho kunodlame. Lokhu kungase kubonakale kungenasidingo, ngoba umuntu angase athi noma ubani angasho ukuthi ubudlova buyini. Ukuhlonipha umthetho kusengcupheni. Wonke umuntu kufanele ahloniphe umthetho, futhi ukuze uhlonishwe, kufanele ucace futhi ucace.

Lesi yisizathu esenza kube nokunemba okungaka kunikezwa ngezinhlinzeko ezibekwe yikhodi yesijeziso ezindabeni zodlame. Izijeziso ezehlukene ezisetshenziselwa ukucindezela ukuhlasela nazo zizohluka kuye ngokuthi izenzo zomcindezeli zibucayi kangakanani.

Ukuze uxhumane: Ummeli ophikisana ne-narcissistic pervert

Uhulumeni waseFrance uzivikela kanjani izisulu zabangane bomshado abanobudlova?

Ukuze kuqinisekiswe kangcono ukuvikeleka kwalezi zakamuva, uhulumeni wenze izinguquko eziningi. Nokho, siyabona ukuthi lokhu kusekude kakhulu. Amacala okuhlukunyezwa kwabesifazane emakhaya asesekhona. Ngenxa yalokhu, amaketango ahlukene osizo lwezenhlalakahle asungulwa nguHulumeni. Ngaphandle kwemikhankaso eyahlukene yokugqugquzela ukulwa nodlame noma ngabe lunjani.

Udlame lwempetha ye-narcissistic seluvele lukhona ebudlelwaneni bakhe ngaphandle kokwazi

Kweminye imibhangqwana ukuhlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo futhi ukuhlukunyezwa ngokomzimba kukhona ngaphandle kokuba omunye umuntu azi ngakho. Ngezinye izikhathi isizathu sokuthi kungabikho sikhalazo ngakho kungenxa yokuthi umuntu oyisisulu akazi. Ngempela, umlingani angahlukunyezwa engazi. Asisho yini ukuthi, ” uthando lukwenza ube yimpumputhe“, ngenxa yemizwa anayo ngomlingani wakhe, akasiboni isimo sangempela.

Ngempela, lowo muntu uyothambekela ekuthetheleleni noma ekushalazeleni ukuphathwa ngobudlova kuye. I-narcissistic pervert izosebenzisa lokhu ukuze iqinise ukulawula kwakhe isisulu sakhe. Kowakamuva iphutha livame ukuba ngelakhe, angaze eze ezovikela umcindezeli wakhe ngokuthi iphutha lakhe. Uzogcina ethi kujwayelekile futhi uzophika iqiniso.

Ingabe i-narcissistic pervert ingadlulela kubudlova obungokomzimba?

ubudlova obungokomzimba kanye ubudlova bokuziphatha yizona zindlela ezinhle kakhulu zokuphula umuntu. Futhi i-narcissistic pervert ikuqonda kahle lokhu. Lapho umuntu eba buthaka ngokwengqondo nangokomzimba, yilapho ezokhohliswa kalula khona.

Uma ngokuyisisekelo i-narcissistic pervert can sizibophezele ekusetshenzisweni kwe ukuxhaphaza engqondo futhi kuphela udlame olungokwengqondo isimo singaguquka. Umphendukezeli ukuze agcine indlela yakhe ekhohlisayo ngeke ibonise ukusetshenziswa kobudlova obungokomzimba ngaphandle kwe-alibi enhle. Enye yezinto ezinhle kakhulu ngokuvamile utshwala. Uzokwazi ukukusebenzisa njengesizathu salezi zinkinga zodlame. Ngale ndlela, angasebenzisa usongo lobudlova obungokomzimba ngaphandle kokudalulwa obala.

Lapho udlame lwangaphakathi alusanele?

Ngaleso sikhathi lapho ubudlova bokuziphatha bungasenele ukuqinisa ukubamba kwakhe, yilapho umhlukumezi engase afike khona. Ukweqa lo mkhawulo kubonisa ukuthi umuntu uba yingozi ngempela. Ngempela, ukuba nesibindi sokuphakamisa isandla sakho kumuntu kukhombisa ukuthi umuzwa wokucindezelwa ukhona phakathi kobudlelwano. Lapho lo muzwa ukhula, umuntu oyisisulu uzochayeka kakhulu ekulimaleni okubi kakhulu.

Ngokuqinisekile imicabango yakudala, ubaba wekhaya une udlame olusemthethweni. Lokhu kuyiqiniso emasikweni amaningi. Uma inhlamba namagama kungasanele, isibhakela siyavaleka sithathe izintambo.

Ungaluthola Kanjani Usizo Uma Ulimala Emzimbeni? I-SOS

Kunezindlela ezehlukene ezisetshenziswayo ukusiza abantu abachayeke ekulimaleni ngokomzimba:

• Sondela ezikhungweni zosizo ezehlukene ukuthola usizo oludingekayo. Lezi zikhungo zingakusiza nawe ngokukunikeza indawo ephephile kude nomhlukumezi wakho. Kodwa neseluleko sokukukhipha esimweni sakho.

• Ungawungabazi umzwelo wakho wemvelo. Uma unomuzwa wokuthi lokhu akuyona into evamile kuwe, yenza ngokushesha ngangokunokwenzeka. Ngakho-ke ungazivumeli ukuba ubanjwe ebudlelwaneni lapho ushaywa khona.

• Ungawenzi umonakalo ngokwejwayelekile ezingagqokwa emzimbeni wakho. Umlingani wakho akakwazi ukukulimaza ngokukwehlisa isithunzi ngaphandle kwemvume yakho. Noma yiluphi uhlobo lodlame olubhekiswe kuwe luyasoleka.

• Ungathola usizo ngelayini yamahhala ehlukahlukene njenge 147 noma 122.

Yikuphi Okubi Kakhulu: Indoda Enobudlova noma I-Narcissistic Pervert?

Lezi zimbi ezimbili zibhubhisa kakhulu kodwa ngayinye ngendlela yayo. Umuntu onobudlova empeleni angenza ngendlela eqondile kakhulu ngokusebenzisa izindlela ezinonya ukuze afeze izinjongo zakhe. Nokho-ke kulula ukusolwa ngoba izojeziswa ngokushesha emphakathini. Ngokwesibonelo, uzifaka engozini yokuxoshwa emsebenzini ngenxa yobudlova obungokomzimba.

I-narcissistic pervert izokwenza ngobuqili. Izindlela eziningi azisebenzisayo ezengqondo. Lokhu akubali ngaphandle ukusetshenziswa kodlame. Nokho, umthelela okungaba nawo kulowo oyisisulu sawo ujule kakhulu. Ngoba uma umuntu onobudlova ekwazi ukuqopha isilonda enyameni, umuntu ohlanekezelekayo uyokwenza enyameni nasengqondweni.

Ireferensi yezincwadi ngodlame lomzimba

Nazi izikhombo eziyisikhombisa zebhayibhili ngendikimba yodlame lomzimba:

1. UGaltung, uJohan (1996). Udlame: Ukuhlaziywa kanye nemibono. Editions L’Harmattan.
2. Bourdieu, Pierre (1998). Ukubusa kwabesilisa. Editions Seuil.
3. Friedman, Linda (2010). Udlame olubhekiswe kwabesifazane: Ukuqonda nokuvimbela. Editions Cindezela.
4. Lévy, Pierre (2015). Udlame nomphakathi. Izinhlobo ze-PUF.
5. Cohen, Albert (2012). Ukuziphatha okunolaka: Izinto ze-psychology. Izinguqulo zikaDe Boeck Supérieur.
6. Farge, Arlette (2014). Udlame phakathi neminyaka: Umlando womphakathi. Izinguqulo Albin Michel.
7. Hirsch, Pierre (2009). Udlame lwansuku zonke: Inhlolovo ngodlame olungokomzimba nolwengqondo empilweni yansuku zonke. Ama-Editions Autres.

Lezi zithenjwa zizokunikeza isisekelo esiqinile sokuhlola isihloko sodlame olungokomzimba ngezindlela ezahlukene.

Ukuze usize ukululama emiphumeleni yangemva kwemiphumela ebangelwa yilolu hlobo lokuhlangana, kubalulekile ukuba nosizo lukachwepheshe wezengqondo. Izindlela zokwelapha ezehlukene zingasiza umuntu ukuthi azakhe kabusha futhi anqobe ukuhlukumezeka okungenzeka okukhona.