Iyini imiphumela yangemva kukamama onobuthi oba isisulu?

Ukukhula nomama onobuthi, ohlukumezayo kungashiya amamaki ajulile engqondweni yomuntu. Lawa manxeba asebuntwaneni kwesinye isikhathi angasenza sibe sengcupheni yobunye ubudlelwano obunobuthi njengabantu abadala, ikakhulukazi ngozakwethu one-narcissistic, okhohlakele. Kulesi sihloko, sizohlola ukuguquguquka kobudlelwane obunobuthi bukamama nendodakazi kanye nemiphumela yabo yesikhathi eside.

Izimpawu zezinganekwane zikamama onobuthi nokhohlisayo

Umama onobuthi ohlukumeza ngokuvamile ubonisa izici eziningana zokuziphatha:

• Akayihloniphi imingcele nemfihlo yendodakazi yakhe
• Ugxeka kakhulu futhi akaneliseki ngemizamo yendodakazi yakhe
• Uyakwenza lokho ukuhlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo futhi kwenza indodakazi yakhe izizwe inecala
• Ubeka unxantathu futhi axabanise amalungu omndeni wodwa
• Akabikezeleki ngendlela asabela ngayo ngokomzwelo
• Uyaphika noma anciphise imizwa nezidingo zendodakazi yakhe
• Uhlale ezibeka njengesisulu
• Akakwazi ukuxolisa noma ukuvuma amaphutha akhe

Lezi zimo zengqondo ze umama onobuthi dala isimo somndeni esingazinzile nesingavikelekile sengane.

Umthelela omubi wokuzethemba nokuzethemba

Ukukhula nomama onobuthi nohlukumezayo kungaba nemiphumela emibi kakhulu enganeni.ukuzihlonipha kanye nokuzethemba kwentombazane:

• Umuzwa ongapheli wokungabi muhle ngokwanele
• Ubunzima bokwethemba ukwahlulela komuntu siqu
• Isidingo esiqhubekayo sokuqinisekisa kwangaphandle
• Ukuthambekela kokufuna ukuphelela noma ukuzicekela phansi
• Ukwesaba ukulahlwa nokusondelana ebudlelwaneni
• Ubunzima bokubeka imingcele enempilo

Lamanxeba asebuntwaneni angenza umuntu abe sengozini enkulu yobunye ubudlelwano obunobuthi lapho esemdala.

Isicupho sokukhokhwa kwemizwelo

Umama onobuthi uvame ukudala ubuhlobo obungenampilo bokuncika nendodakazi yakhe. Uzizwa enomthwalo wemfanelo ngenhlalakahle engokomzwelo kanina futhi enecala uma engakwenzi akulindele. Le phethini ingaphinda ivele ngokuhamba kwesikhathi kobunye ubudlelwano, ikakhulukazi nozakwethu one-narcissistic.

Bona futhi ukhiphe amaphethini anobuthi afakwe ngaphakathi

Ukuze uzikhulule ethonyeni likamama onobuthi, kubalulekile ukuqaphela amaphethini obudlelwane angenampilo afakwa ngaphakathi ebuntwaneni:

• Ukuthambekela kokuzidela ukuze ujabulise abanye
• Ubunzima bokuveza izidingo nemizwelo
• Ukwesaba ukungqubuzana nokulahlwa
• Umuzwa wecala unomphela
• Isidingo eseqile sokulawula

Ukuhlonza lawa maphethini kuyisinyathelo sokuqala sokukwazi ukuwakha kabusha futhi esikhundleni sawo ngokuziphatha okunempilo.

Ukushiya indima yokuba isisulu ukuze uphinde uthole amandla akho siqu

Umama onobuthi ngokuvamile ugcina indodakazi yakhe indima eyisisulu esingenakuzisiza. Ukuze uzikhulule kukho, kubalulekile ukuthi:

• Qaphela amandla akho okuzikhethela nokwenza
• Thatha umthwalo wemfanelo ngempilo yakho kanye nenhlalakahle yakho
• Hlakulela ukuzimela kwakho ngokomzwelo nezinto ezibonakalayo
• Zibekele imigomo yomuntu siqu futhi uthathe isinyathelo
• Bungaza ukunqoba kwakho kwansuku zonke okuncane

Kanjalo sibuyisela izintambo zokuphila kwethu, esikhundleni sokuhlupheka okungalindelekile.

Beka imingcele enempilo futhi ufunde ukwenqaba

Ngomama onobuthi, sasivame ukufunda ukuhoxa ukuze sigweme izingxabano. Ukubeka imingcele enempilo kuyisifundo esibalulekile:

• Thola izidingo zakho kanye nemikhawulo yomuntu siqu
• Khuluma ngalokho okulindele ngomoya ophansi kodwa ngokuqinile
• Yamukela ukuthi omunye angase akhungatheke noma angavumelani
• Hlala ungaguquguquki ekusebenziseni imikhawulo yakho
• Zibongele njalo uma unesibindi sokuthi cha

Kancane kancane, sakha indawo yokuphepha nokuhloniphana.

Hlakulela ubudlelwano obunempilo, obukhulisayo

Ngemuva kwengane ephawulwe ubudlelwano obunobuthi, kubalulekile ukuthi:

• Thola izimfanelo zobuhlobo obunempilo nobulinganiselayo
• Alinge ukuvula ukusondelana, naphezu kokwesaba
• Khuluma ngokukhululekile izidingo zakho nalokho okulindele
• Yazi ukuthi uzibona kanjani izimpawu zobudlelwano obunobuthi
• Zizungeze ngabantu abakhathalelayo nabakhuthazayo

Ngaleyo ndlela sakha indawo entsha yobudlelwano enomsoco.

Ukuthola ukwesekwa kokuqhubekela phambili: amaqembu okwelapha kanye nokweseka

Ukuzikhulula ethonyeni likamama onobuthi kuwuhambo olungase lube lude futhi lube nzima. Kubalulekile ukuthi ungabi wedwa:

• Ukwelashwa komuntu ngamunye kukuvumela ukuthi uhlole ngokujulile izinhlungu ezedlule
• Amaqembu okusekela ahlinzeka ngokusekela kontanga nokuqinisekisa
• Ama-workshops okuthuthukisa umuntu akusiza ukuthi uthole amathuluzi amasha

Ukuzizungezile kubalulekile ukuze uphikelele kule nqubo yokuphulukisa.

Zisungule kabusha futhi wakhe impilo oyifunayo ngempela

Once wakhululwa kusukelaithonya elinobuthi, ekugcineni singakwazi:

• Hlola izifiso zakho ezijulile nezifiso
• Isibindi sokuqalisa amaphrojekthi amasha
• Hlakulela izinkanuko zakho nokudala
• Zivumele uphuphe okukhulu ngempilo yakho
• Thatha isinyathelo ukufeza izinhloso zakho

Isiqalo sempilo entsha, ehambisana namagugu nezidingo zakho.

Isixhumanisi phakathi kokuhlukunyezwa kanye nokuhlukumeza i-narcissistic

Ubudlelwano phakathi kokuhlukunyezwa kanye nokuhlukunyezwa kwe-narcissistic bunzima futhi bugxile ekuguquguqukeni kwengqondo yabantu abahililekile. Lesi sixhumanisi sizibonakalisa ngezindlela ezimbalwa:

1. Umjikelezo wokuphatha : AmaNarcissist ahamba phambili ekuphatheni izisulu zabo, azenze zizizwe zinecala, zingafaneleki, noma zinezikweletu. Lo mjikelezo uqhubekisela phambili ukuhlukunyezwa.
2. Ukuguguleka kokuzethemba : Ukuhlukunyezwa kweNarcissistic kwehlisa kancane kancane ukuzethemba komuntu ohlukunyeziwe, kumenze abe sengozini kakhulu futhi ancike kumhlukumezi.
3. ukukhanya kwegesi : Ama-Narcissists avame ukusebenzisa ukukhanya kwegesi, uhlobo lokukhohlisa olubangela isisulu ukuba singabaze umbono waso weqiniso, ngaleyo ndlela kuqinise isimo saso sokuba isisulu.
4. Ukuzihlukanisa emphakathini : Umhlukumezi we-narcissistic ngokuvamile ufuna ukuhlukanisa isisulu sakhe kunethiwekhi yabo yosekelo, akhulise ukuthembela kanye nokuba sengozini.
5. Ukuqagela kokungazethembi : Ama-Narcissists aveza ukungazethembi kwawo kuzisulu zawo, ezibeka icala ngamaphutha azo kanye nokwehluleka kwazo.
6. Ukuqinisa Ububele : Izisulu, ngokuvamile ezizwelayo, zingaxhashazwa ama-narcissists adlala ngozwela lwazo ukuze alondoloze ukulawula.
7. Ukuhlukumezeka nokuphindaphinda : Izisulu zokuhlukunyezwa kwe-narcissistic zingahlakulela ukuhlukumezeka okuzibeke phambili ebudlelwaneni obuhlukumezayo besikhathi esizayo, obuqhubekisela phambili umjikelezo wokuhlukunyezwa.
8. Ukujwayezwa kokuhlukunyezwa : Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, izisulu zingase zijwayele ukuziphatha okuhlukumezayo, zikubone njengengxenye evamile yobudlelwano.
9. ukwesaba ukulahlwa : Ama-Narcissists avame ukuxhaphaza ukwesaba izisulu zawo zokulahlwa, ezigcina ebudlelwaneni obunobuthi ngenxa yokwesaba ukuphetha ngokuthi zizodwa.
10. Isicelo sokuqinisekisa : Izisulu zingase zihlale zifuna imvume kumhlukumezi, ziqinise ngokungenhloso isimo esihlukumezayo.

Ukuqonda lokhu kuxhumana kubalulekile ekwephuleni umjikelezo wokuhlukunyezwa kwe-narcissistic nokusiza izisulu zakhe kabusha izimpilo zazo.

Ireferensi yeBhayibheli ngendikimba: “umama onobuthi ohlukumezayo”

Nazi izikhombo eziyisikhombisa zebhayibheli ezikhuluma ngendikimba yomama abanobuthi kanye nokuhlukunyezwa:

1. Miller, A. (1990). Umama Obheke Phansi: Isibuko Sokuhlupheka. I-Paris: Editions de l’Homme.
2. Dumont, M. (2015). Omama Abanobuthi: Ungakhululeka Kanjani. I-Paris: Editions de l’Archipel.
3. ULévy, M. (2012). Umama Ophelele: Inganekwane Noma Iqiniso? I-Paris: Éditions Eyrolles.
4. Boulanger, D. (2017). Ukulawulwa komama: Ukuqonda ubudlelwano obunobuthi. I-Lyon: I-Éditions L’Harmattan.
5. Cohen, S. (2018). Omama kanye namadodakazi: Umyalelo Wokuphelela. Paris: Éditions Dunod.
6. Gérard, J. (2019). Ukuhlukumezeka kanye Nokukhwabanisa: Omama Abanobuthi Embuzweni. Toulouse: Editions Octave.
7. UFriedmann, A. (2016). Ukuqeda Izindlela Ezisebenzayo Zokusebenzisa Omama Abanobuthi. I-Paris: Editions Okokuqala.

Lezi zithenjwa zingakusiza ujulise ukuqonda kwakho ngesihloko somama abanobuthi kanye nokuhlukunyezwa.

Isiphetho

Sengiphetha, ukukhula nomama onobuthi, ohlukumezayo kushiya imiphumela ejulile nehlala njalo, evame ukubumba ubudlelwano obungenampilo lapho usumdala. Kodwa-ke, kungenzeka ukwephula lo mjikelezo ngokuqaphela amaphethini afakwe ngaphakathi, ukumisa imingcele enempilo, nokufuna ukwesekwa okufanele. Ukuphulukisa kuhilela ukubuyisela amandla omuntu siqu kanye nokwakha ubudlelwano obunomsoco. Ngokuqala le ndlela yokuvuselela, wonke umuntu angafisa ukuphila okuhambisana namagugu nezifiso zabo, ngaleyo ndlela anqobe amanxeba esikhathi esidlule ukuze akhe ikusasa elijabulisayo. Ukuqonda izixhumanisi phakathi kokuhlukunyezwa nokuhlukunyezwa kwe-narcissistic kubalulekile ekukhuthazeni lokhu kuqina nokukhuthaza uguquko oluhle.