INTOMBI EMUBI & IT GIRL – Lapho isisulu se-PN sishintsha

“Bad Girl”, “IT Girl”: ingabe lezi zinkulumo ziyakuthakasela? Ngemuva kokusinda ebuhlotsheni nomuntu onama-narcissist, ungaziguqula futhi ube ngowesifazane onamandla, ogcwalisekile. Thola ukuthi uhambo lwakho lokuphulukisa lungaholela kanjani ekuzalweni kabusha kwangempela komuntu siqu, ngaphandle kokulahlekelwa ubuqiniso bakho.

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Ubani Intombazane Ebi?

“Intombazane embi” isisho esivamile, esivame ukusetshenziswa esiNgisini kodwa kwesinye isikhathi sithathwe kwezinye izilimi, ukuchaza intombazane noma owesifazane osemusha othi:

1. Unesimo sengqondo sokuhlubuka noma sokungavumelani
2. Ibekela inselele imikhuba yezenhlalo noma okulindelwe ngokwesiko
3. Angase ahlanganyele ekuziphatheni okubhekwa njengokuvusa inkanuko noma okuyingozi
4. Ngokuvamile kubonisa ukuzethemba nokuzimela
5. Kungase kubhekwe njengokukhangayo noma okuthakazelisayo ngenxa yalesi simo sengqondo

Lesi sisho sivame ukusetshenziswa esikweni elidumile, okuhlanganisa umculo, amamuvi, nemfashini. Kubalulekile ukuqaphela ukuthi leli gama lingaba nezincazelo ezinhle noma ezimbi kuye ngomongo kanye nombono womuntu ngamunye.

Kungani amadoda ethanda amantombazane amabi?

Izizathu ezenza amanye amadoda akhangwe “amantombazane amabi” ziyinkimbinkimbi futhi ziyahlukahluka kumuntu nomuntu. Nazi ezinye izincazelo ezingase zibe khona:

1. Isikhalazo sabanqatshelwe: Uhlangothi oluhlubukayo lungabonakala njengolujabulisayo noma olujabulisayo.
2. Inselelo : Amanye amadoda abona “amantombazane amabi” njengenselele okufanele anqobe noma “athonywe.”
3. Ukusiqhenya : Isimo sengqondo sokuzethemba “samantombazane amabi” singakhanga kakhulu.
4. Phuma esimisweni: Banikeza okunye ubudlelwano obujwayelekile.
5. Ukuqagela kwamaphupho: Isithombe “sentombazane embi” sivame ukuhlelwa kahle kwabezindaba.
6. Isifiso sezinto ezintsha: “Amantombazane amabi” abonakala enikeza okuhlangenwe nakho okunamandla noma okuhlukahlukene.
7. Ukwenqatshwa kwezinkambiso zomphakathi: Amanye amadoda ayakwazisa lokhu kubuzwa kwemihlangano emikhulu.

Kubalulekile ukuqaphela ukuthi lezi zindawo ezikhangayo ngezinye izikhathi zingasekelwe emibonweni engaguquki noma imibono ecatshangwe ngaphambili. Wonke umuntu uhlukile, ngaphandle kwamalebula athi “intombazane embi.”

“Ukuvuka kukaSophie”

USophie, 35, wazalwa onozwela. Iminyaka eminingi, wayezinikele ngomzimba nomphefumulo kumngane wakhe, uMarc, indoda enothando kodwa efuna ngenkani. UMarc, i-narcissistic pervert, wasebenzisa umusa ka-Sophie. Wameyisa ngobuqili, efuna ukunakwa njalo, futhi emhlukumeza ngokomzwelo. USophie, ekholelwa emandleni akhe okushintsha, wayehlale enikela okwengeziwe.

Usuku nosuku, uSophie wayeqala ukukhathala. Wamukela ukucasuka kukaMarc, waxolisa ukuziphatha okunobuthiWazishaya indiva izidingo zakhe. Ubuyena bakhe babuphela kancane kancane. Ngobunye ubusuku, ngemva kwenye inkinga lapho uMarc emsola khona ngokuba nobugovu ngokubona umngane, kwavela okuthile ngaphakathi kuSophie.

“Sekwanele,” kusho yena, izwi lakhe liqhaqhazela kodwa liqinile.

UMarc, emangazwe yilokhu kuphikisa okungalindelekile, wazama ukumkhohlisa futhi. Kodwa kulokhu, uSophie wabambelela. Emasontweni alandelayo, uSophie washintsha. Waqala ukubeka imingcele, ukuveza izidingo zakhe, ukwenqaba izicelo ezingenangqondo zikaMarc. Amandla akhe angaphakathi, acindezelwe isikhathi eside, ekugcineni avela. UMarc, ephazamisekile ngenxa yalolu shintsho, waphazamiseka phakathi kwemizamo yokuthola kabusha nokumangalelwa. Wambiza ngokuthi “intombazane embi.” Kepha uSophie wayevule amehlo akhe ekuguquguqukeni okunobuthi kobudlelwano babo.

Ekugcineni, uSophie wathola isibindi sokushiya uMarc. Kwakungekhona ngokuba “intombazane embi”, kodwa kunalokho ukuzikhulula nokuthola ukuthi ungubani ngempela, eqinile futhi ezimele. Lo Sophie omusha kwakungewona umphumela wokukhohlisa, kodwa umvuthwandaba weuhambo olude oluya ekuziqiniseni nasekukhululekeni a ubuhlobo obunobuthi.

IT Girl – Kuyini?

“Intombazane ye-IT” igama elisetshenziselwa ukuchaza owesifazane osemusha ohlanganisa isitayela esithile esihle, ukuthakazelisa nokuduma ngesikhathi esithile. Nazi izici eziyinhloko “zentombazane ye-IT”:

1. I-Trendsetter : Uvame ukuba phambili kwezemfashini futhi wethula izitayela ezintsha.
2. Ithonya lemidiya : Udonsa ukunaka okukhulu kwabezindaba kanye nezinkundla zokuxhumana.
3. Isitayela esiyingqayizivele : Unesitayela somuntu siqu esihlukile esikhuthaza abanye.
4. I-Charisma : Une-charisma yemvelo eheha abantu.
5. Connections : Uvame ukubonakala emibuthanweni yezokuxhumana “esemfashinini” noma nosaziwayo.
6. Umsebenzi onezici eziningi : Amantombazane amaningi e-IT asebenza emikhakheni eminingana njengemfashini, icinema, noma ibhizinisi.
7. Intsha : Ngokuvamile, leli gama lisebenza kwabesifazane abasebasha, ngokuvamile abaneminyaka engamashumi amabili noma ekuqaleni kweminyaka engamashumi amathathu.
8. zeitgeist : Umelela ngendlela ethile umoya wesikhathi sakhe.
9. Ukuphefumulelwa : Indlela yakhe yokuphila ivame ukubonakala njengefiselekayo noma ekhuthazayo kwabaningi.
10. Okwesikhashana : Isimo sentombazane ye-IT ngokuvamile singokwesikhashana futhi singashintsha ngokushesha.

INTOMBAZANE ngemuva kobudlelwano nomuntu okhohlakele

Ngemva kokusinda ebudlelwaneni nomuntu osebenzisa i-narcissist, nazi izinguquko zangaphakathi ongadlula kuzo ukuze uziguqule futhi ube “intombazane ye-IT”:

1. Ukwakha kabusha ukuzethemba kwakho:
   • Usuka ekubeni nombono ongemuhle ngawe uye ekwaziseni ukubaluleka kwakho.
   • Ufunda ukuzezisa ngaphandle kwemibono yabanye.
2. Ukugomela :
   • Uthuthukisa ikhono lokuveza izidingo nezifiso zakho ngaphandle kokuba necala.
   • Ufunda ukubeka imingcele ecacile ebudlelwaneni bakho.
3. Ukuthola kabusha ubuwena :
   • Uhlola okuthandayo, izinkanuko nezifiso, okucindezelwe isikhathi eside.
   • Uhlakulela isitayela somuntu siqu esiyingqayizivele, esibonisa ubuntu bakho obusha.
4. Ukuthuthukiswa kwe nokuqinisela :
   • Uguqula umuzwa wakho obuhlungu ube amandla angaphakathi.
   • Ufunda ukuhlehla ezinseleleni nokugxekwa.
5. Ukuthuthukisa ubuhlakani bakho bemizwae:
   • Uqaphela kakhulu imizwa yakho neyabanye.
   • Usebenzisa lokhu kuqonda ukuze uzulazule ngekhono ubudlelwano bomphakathi.
6. Hlakulela charisma yakho :
   • Uguqula ukuba sengozini kwakho kube amandla akhangayo.
   • Uthuthukisa ubukhona bukazibuthe obususelwe ebuqiniso.
7. Ukulawula Ukuxoxa Indaba Yakho :
   • Uphinda ulawule umlando wakho womuntu siqu.
   • Ufunda ukuzethula ngendlela eyakhayo nekhuthazayo.

Ireferensi yeBhayibheli ethi “Bad Girl” kanye “IT Girl”

Nazi izikhombo zebhayibheli eziyisikhombisa endikimbeni ethi “Bad Girls” kanye “IT Girls”:

1. UMurray, C. (2014). Amantombazane Amabi: Intombazanyana embi esikweni lanamuhla. I-Paris: Editions de la Sorbonne.
2. U-Jouët, M. (2016). Intombazane ye-IT: Isithombe seqhawekazi elisha lesimanje. I-Lyon: I-Éditions L’Harmattan.
3. Vignola, M. (2018). Amantombazane Amabi, Amantombazane Alungile: Ukuhlaziywa kwezenhlalo yabantu besifazane. Paris: Presses Universitaires de France.
4. ULévy, D. (2017). Ubunikazi bobulili enkathini yedijithali: Amantombazane Amabi Namantombazane E-IT ezinkundleni zokuxhumana. Bordeaux: Éditions Epsilon.
5. Roche, T. (2015). Izibalo zowesifazane wesimanje: Amantombazane amabi namantombazane e-IT kwezemfashini nomculo. Paris: Editions du CNRS.
6. Durand, C. (2019). Ukumelwa kwabesifazane kwabezindaba: phakathi kwe-IT Girl kanye ne-Bad Girl. IStrasbourg: Éditions du Rhin.
7. I-Lemoine, A. (2020). Isiko lamantombazane elibi: Phakathi kwenkululeko kanye nokucwaswa. Paris: Éditions Michalon.

Lezi zithenjwa kufanele zikunikeze isiqalo esihle sokuhlola le miqondo.

Uguquko noma Uvuko

Ngemva kobudlelwane nomuntu ophendukezela i-narcissistic, ukuguqulwa okujulile kwenzeka. Amandla ayekade enikelwe kowayenguzakwethu aqondiswa kabusha kuyena, okuholela ekwakhiweni kabusha komuntu okuhlaba umxhwele. Siphinde sathola izinto esizithandayo kanye nengqikithi yethu eyingqayizivele, siheha ukunaka okuvela kulabo abasizungezile.

Umbuthano womphakathi uyathuthuka, futhi amathuba amasha ochwepheshe ayacatshangelwa. Lolu vivinyo luyaqinisa futhi lukuvumela ukuthi ufeze okungajwayelekile, wakhe impilo engcono kunokucatshangwa. Yinkathi yokukhula nokuzibona.