Ebudlelwaneni banamuhla, igama elithi “ghosting” selivame kakhulu, ikakhulukazi ngokukhula kwezinhlelo zokusebenza zokuxhumana nabantu kanye nokuthandana. Ukuqonda “incazelo ye-ghosting” kubalulekile ekuqondeni ukuguquguquka kobudlelwano besikhathi sethu. Kulesi sihloko, sizohlola ukuthi kusho ukuthini “ghosting”, izimbangela zayo, imiphumela yayo, kanye nokuxhumana kwayo nezinye… ukuziphatha okunobuthi, njengokuhlukumeza ngokuzikhukhumeza.
Kusho ukuthini ukuthi “Ghosting”?
I-Ghosting isho ukumisa kungazelelwe konke ukuxhumana nomuntu, ngaphandle kwencazelo noma isexwayiso. Lokhu kuziphatha kuhumushela ekuthuleni okuphelele: ayisekho imilayezo, izingcingo azisekho, azisekho izimpendulo ezinkundleni zokuxhumana. Umuntu “oyisipoki” uhlala engenazindaba, ngaphandle kwesizathu esizwakalayo futhi engenayo indlela yokuqonda ukuthi kwenzekeni.
Isenzo sesipoki ngokuvamile sibonisa ukuntula ukucabangela imizwa yomunye umuntu. Igama elithi “ghosting” livele ngokukhula kokusebenzelana kwedijithali, kodwa lokhu kuziphatha kokunyamalala ngaphandle kwencazelo bekukhona kusukela kudala ngaphambi kwesikhathi sedijithali.
UCristina unikeza iseshini yomuntu ngamunye ukukusiza uphume ekulawulweni okuhlukumezayo futhi wakhe impilo yakho kabusha.
Izizathu zesipoki
Kungaba nezizathu eziningi zokungenwa yizipoki, futhi izizathu zingahluka kumuntu nomuntu. Ake sibheke ezinye zezimbangela ezivame kakhulu.
1. Ukugwema izingxabano
Kwabanye abantu, ukuxoxa ngezihloko zokuhlukana kunzima futhi akukhululekile. Ukuchazela othile ukuthi ufuna ukuqeda ubudlelwano noma ukusebenzelana kungase kubonakale kunzima. Ngakho-ke, abanye abantu bakhetha ukwenza izipoki ukuze bagweme ukubhekana nesimo, benethemba lokuthi ukuthula kuzokwanela ukwenza izinhloso zabo zicace.
2. Ukuntula ukuvuthwa ngokomzwelo
I-Ghosting ingase futhi ibangele ukuntula ukuvuthwa ngokomzwelo. Abanye abantu abakulungele ukuphatha imizwelo yabanye abantu noma ukuzibophezela ebudlelwaneni. Lokhu kubangela ukugwema nokwenqaba ukubhekana, kushiye omunye umuntu esesimweni sokungaqondi.
3. Ukuziphatha kweNarcissistic
Abantu abanezici ze-narcissistic bavame ukuba yisipoki ngoba kubavumela ukuthi balawule ngaphandle kokubheka imizwa yabanye abantu. I-Ghosting ibanika indlela yokugwema izincazelo, kuyilapho ibeka ukuhlukana okunonya okungashiya imiphumela ehlala njalo kumuntu oyisipoki.
4. Gwema izitayela zokunamathisela
Isitayela sokunamathisela singachaza futhi isenzeko sesipoki. Abantu abanesitayela sokugwema ukunamathela bavame ukufuna ukuzimela futhi bangase bazizwe becindezelwe ngokushesha nje lapho ubudlelwano buthatha ijika elibucayi. Kubo, i-ghosting iyindlela yokugcina indawo yabo yomuntu siqu ngaphandle kokuveza okubakhathazayo noma ukungabaza.
Imiphumela Yengqondo Yokuba Nemimoya
I-Ghosting ishiya amamaki ahlala njalo kulabo abahlangabezana nakho. Lo mkhuba uvame ukuphumela emiphumeleni ejulile engokomzwelo.
1. Ukudideka nokuzethemba
Ukuthola isipoki Ngaphandle kwencazelo, abantu basala bedidekile. Bayazibuza ngendima yabo ebudlelwaneni, bezibuza ukuthi benzeni kabi. Lokhu kungaholela ekulahlekelweni ukuzethemba, njengoba umuntu ophucwe umoya evame ukuthatha ukwenqatshwa njengesahlulelo sakhe.
2. Ukwesaba ukulahlwa kanye nokuhlukumezeka okudala
Kwabanye abantu, ukuphupha ngemimoya kuvula kabusha amanxeba amadala okulahlwa. Labo abane- okunamathiselwe kokukhathazeka Babona lokhu kuhlukana njengokulahlwa ngesihluku, okuqinisa ukungazethembi kwabo futhi kungabangela izimpendulo ezingokomzwelo ezijulile.
3. Umthelela omubi empilweni yengqondo
I-Ghosting ingabangela izimpawu zokucindezeleka nokukhathazeka, njengoba kubangela ukuthi umuntu oyisipoki asihlaziye ngokweqile isimo. Lokhu kuziphatha okuzumayo kubangela imizwa yokulahlwa ephazamisa ukulinganisela kwabo ngokomzwelo nempilo engokwengqondo.
I-Ghosting kanye ne-Narcissism: Isixhumanisi Esinobuthi
Nakuba i-ghosting ingeyona i-narcissistic kuphela, ivame ukuhlotshaniswa nalobu buntu. Ngezinye izikhathi amaNarcisists asebenzisa lo mkhuba ukulawula abalingani babo noma abangani. I-Ghosting ibe ithuluzi lokukhohlisa, ishiya enye esimweni sokuncika ngokomzwelo.
Ama-Narcisists avame ukudala imijikelezo yemizwa ebudlelwaneni babo. Bashintshana phakathi kwezigaba zokwazisa nokulahla, okwenza omunye umuntu angaqiniseki ngokubaluleka kwabo. Ngakho-ke i-Ghosting iyindlela yokubusa evumela ama-narcissists ukuthi alondoloze ukubamba kwawo ngokomzwelo.
I-Ghosting namanethiwekhi omphakathi: Into ekhuliswe ubuchwepheshe
Iminyaka yedijithali kanye nenkundla yezokuxhumana ikhulise umkhuba wokungenwa yizipoki. Ukusebenzisana ku-inthanethi kukhuthaza ukuhlukana okuthile kwemizwelo, okwenza kube lula kwabanye ukunqamula ukuxhumana ngaphandle kwencazelo. Ngokuchofoza okumbalwa nje, umuntu oyedwa angavimba noma azibe omunye, agweme noma yikuphi ukungqubuzana okuqondile.
Isimo sokungenwa yizipoki ebudlelwaneni bedijithali sibeka izinselelo ezihlukile zemizwa. Ukuxhumana ku-inthanethi, ngenkathi kwenziwa, kuvame ukuhlala kukha phezulu futhi kungenamuntu, okufaka isandla ekuveleni kokuziphatha okufana nesipoki.
Izinhlobo Ezihlukene Zokuphefumula
Kunezindlela eziningana zokuphefumula, ezinye zicashile kunezinye.
1. I-Brutal Ghosting
Leli yifomu eliqondile kakhulu: umuntu unyamalala ngobusuku obubodwa, ngaphandle kwencazelo. Lesi sipoki esiphelele sishiya isisulu sithukile futhi sididekile, njengoba singatholi zimpawu zokuhlukana okuzayo.
2. I-Soft Ghosting
I-soft ghosting ihilela ukunciphisa kancane kancane ukuthintana ngaphandle kokunqamula ukuxhumana. Lokhu kudala ukungaqiniseki, njengoba umuntu oyisipoki engazi noma ubudlelwano buphelile noma buyaqhubeka, kodwa ngendlela encane kakhulu.
3. Icala Elikhethekile Lokuthi “Akukho Othintana Naye”
Nakuba ngezinye izikhathi kudidaniswa nesipoki, “akukho ukuthintana” kwehlukile. Kuvame ukusetshenziswa njengesu eliqaphelayo lokuzivikela ngemva kobudlelwane obunobuthi noma obulimazayo. Ngokungafani nesipoki esizumayo, akukho ukuxhumana okuwumphumela wesinqumo esicatshangelwayo futhi esivame ukuthethelelwa.
Ubudlelwano bomndeni kanye nobuchwephesha
Nakuba isipoki sivamile ebudlelwaneni bothando, singathinta nezinye izinhlobo zobudlelwano.
1. Imimoya emndenini
Ubuhlobo bomndeni nabo bungathinteka. Ilungu lomkhaya lingase linqamule ubuhlobo kungazelelwe ngaphandle kwesizathu, okuvame ukubangela izingxabano phakathi kwabantu nokungaqondi emkhayeni.
2. Ukuba nesipoki emsebenzini
Emsebenzini, i-ghosting ingathatha uhlobo lomuntu ongaphenduli ngemva kwenhlolokhono noma umqashi angazinaki abantu abazobhapathizwa ngemva kokuhlangana nabo. Lokhu kudala izimo zokukhungatheka futhi kulimaza ukubonakala nokuthembana ebudlelwaneni bomsebenzi.
I-Ghosting: Ngezinye izikhathi Ukukhetha Okuphephile
Kwezinye izimo, isipoki singaba yisinqumo esiphusile ngenxa yezizathu zokuphepha. Uma othile ezwa ingozi noma usongo ebuhlotsheni obusafufusa, ukunqamula konke ukuxhumana kungaba uhlobo lokuvikela. Lesi sipoki sangaphambi kwesikhathi sigqugquzelwa umzwelo wokusinda futhi akufanele kudidaniswe nokuziphatha kobugovu.
Izikhombo ze-Bibliographic
- Hazan, C., & Shaver, P. R. (1987). Uthando lwamaRoma luthathwa njengenqubo yokunamathisela. Ijenali Yobuntu Nenhlalakahle Yengqondo, 52(3), 511.
- Levy, K.N., & Ellison, W.D. (2011). Izici zobuntu kanye nekhwalithi yobudlelwano: Ingabe i-narcissism iyabuthinta ngempela ubudlelwano? Ijenali Yobuntu Nenhlalakahle Yengqondo, 58(4), 685.
- Twenge, J.M., & Campbell, W.K. (2009). I-Narcissism Epidemic: Ukuphila Esikhathini Sokufaneleka. USimon kanye noSchuster.
- UKernberg, O.F. (1975). Izimo zemingcele kanye ne-pathological narcissism. ENew York: UJason Aronson.
- Pincus, AL, & Lukowitsky, MR (2010). I-Pathological narcissism kanye ne-narcissistic personality disorder. Ukubuyekezwa Konyaka kwe-Clinical Psychology, 6, 421-446.
- UStorr, A. (1989). Ukuba uwedwa: Ukubuyela Kuwena. Cindezela Mahhala.
- Sperber, A., & Luborsky, L. (2005). Incazelo nokusetshenziswa kwesipoki ebudlelwaneni besimanje: Umbono wethiyori yokunamathisela. I-American Journal of Psychotherapy, 53 (3), 273-284.
I-Ghosting: Ubugwala noma ukuntuleka kokuxhumana?
I-Ghosting ivame ukubonakala njengesenzo sobugwala, kodwa kubalulekile ukufaneleka lokhu. Lokhu kuziphatha kungase kubonise ukuntuleka kwamakhono okuxhumana noma ukwesaba ukulimaza omunye umuntu. Akuwona wonke umuntu onezipoki ngempela onama-narcissistic noma anobuthi.
Kwabaningi, isipoki siyindlela yokubaleka, indlela yokuzikhulula ekuphathekeni kabi kokuhlukana. Nokho, imiphumela kumuntu oyisipoki ingaba nkulu futhi ifanele ukucatshangelwa.
Udinga ukukhuluma nomuntu oqondayo?
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Want to break free from this hold?
The Complete Narcissism Release (PDF book) and the Musc essential oil guide you step by step – at your own pace, at home.
Want to break free from this hold?
The Complete Narcissism Release (PDF book) and the Musc essential oil guide you step by step – at your own pace, at home.
Want to break free from this hold?
The Complete Narcissism Release (PDF book) and the Musc essential oil guide you step by step – at your own pace, at home.
Want to break free from this hold?
The Complete Narcissism Release (PDF book) and the Musc essential oil guide you step by step – at your own pace, at home.