Ukuhlukumeza ngokwengqondo kuwuhlobo lodlame olucashile olushiya izibazi ezingabonakali kodwa ezijulile. Ngokuvamile ngokungaziwa noma ukubukelwa phansi, kungaba nemiphumela elimazayo empilweni yengqondo kanye nenhlalakahle yezisulu. Lesi sihloko sihlola izici ezihlukene zalesi simo esiyinkimbinkimbi, izimbangela zayo, ukubonakaliswa kwayo kanye nemiphumela yaso yesikhathi eside.
Incazelo nezici zokuhlukunyezwa kwengqondo
Ukuhlukumeza ngokwengqondo kubonakala ngokuziphatha okuphindaphindiwe okuhloswe ukulawula, ukululaza noma ukumehlisa isithunzi somuntu. Kungathatha izinhlobo ezahlukene:
- Ukugxeka okuvamile nokungenasisekelo
- Ukuthotshiswa nokuthukwa
- Ukwenqatshwa okusebenzayo
- Ukungathembeki ngokomzwelo
- Ukuzihlukanisa emphakathini amandla
- Ukulawula ngokweqile
- Ukukhohlisa kwengqondo
Ngokungafani ne- ubudlova obungokomzimbaAkushiyi zimpawu ezibonakalayo. Lokhu kwenza kube nzima kakhulu ukuhlonza nokufakazela. Ukuhlukunyezwa kwengqondo kuvame ukukhula kancane kancane ebudlelwaneni, okwenza kube nzima ukutholakala kwakho yisisulu uqobo.
UCristina unikeza iseshini yomuntu ngamunye ukukusiza uphume ekulawulweni okuhlukumezayo futhi wakhe impilo yakho kabusha.
Izimo ezihlukene zokuhlukunyezwa kwengqondo
Ukuhlukumeza ngokwengqondo kungenzeka ezimeni ezahlukahlukene zobudlelwano:
- Ngaphakathi kwabashadile
- Emndenini (abazali kubantwana noma ngokuphambene nalokho)
- Endaweni yobungcweti (ukuhlukumeza ngokuziphatha)
- Ezikhungweni (ezikoleni, ezindlini zomhlalaphansi, njll.)
- Phakathi kwabangane noma abantu obajwayele
Ingqikithi ngayinye iveza ukuguquguquka nezinselele zayo. Ngokwesibonelo, ukuhlukumeza ngokwengqondo kwabazali kungaba nemiphumela emibi kakhulu ekukhuleni kwengane.
Izimpawu eziyisixwayiso zokuhlukunyezwa kwengqondo
Ukubona ukuhlukumezeka kwengqondo akulula ngaso sonke isikhathi. Nazi ezinye izimpawu ezingakuxwayisa:
- Ukulahlekelwaukuzihlonipha
- Ukukhathazeka nokudangala
- Ukuzihlukanisa emphakathini
- Izinguquko zokuziphatha ezingachazeki
- Ukwesaba noma ingcindezi eduze kwabantu abathile
- Ubunzima bokwenza izinqumo
- Umuzwa wecala owedlulele
Lezi zimpawu aziqondile futhi zingase zibe nezinye izimbangela. Kodwa-ke, ukuqoqwa nokuphikelela kwabo kufanele kucatshangelwe.
Izinqubo zengqondo emsebenzini
Ukuhlukumeza ngokwengqondo kusekelwe ezindleleni eziyinkimbinkimbi:
- Ukuxhaphaza imizwa
- Ukukhanyisa igesi (ukwenza isisulu singabaze umbono waso weqiniso)
- Ukushintshana phakathi kwezinkathi zodlame nokubuyisana
- Ukwakhiwa kwesimo sokwesaba nokungavikeleki
- Ukwehla kwenani okuhlelekile
Lezi zindlela zihlose ukuthunaza isisulu nokugcina ukulawula komhlukumezi. Bakha ukuthembela ngokomzwelo kanye nokulahlekelwa ama-bearings kumuntu okuhlosiwe.
Umthelela wokuhlukunyezwa kwengqondo empilweni yengqondo
Imiphumela yokuhlukumeza ngokwengqondo ingaba mibi futhi ihlale njalo:
- Ukukhathazeka nokucindezeleka
- I-post-traumatic stress syndrome
- Ukuphazamiseka kokulala nokudla
- Izidakamizwa
- Imicabango yokuzibulala
Lezi zinkinga zempilo yengqondo zingaqhubeka isikhathi eside ngemva kokuphela kobudlelwano bokuhlukumeza. Ngokuvamile zidinga ukunakekelwa okuqondile kokwelapha.
Imiphumela yesikhathi eside ekuziphatheni nasebudlelwaneni
Ukuhlukumeza ngokwengqondo kungaba nemiphumela ehlala njalo empilweni yesisulu:
- Ubunzima bokwethemba
- Izinkinga zokunamathisela
- Ukuthambekela kokukhiqiza kabusha amaphethini obudlelwano anobuthi
- Izinkinga zomsebenzi
- Ukuzihlukanisa emphakathini
Le miphumela ingathinta izinga lempilo yomuntu iminyaka eminingi noma ngisho namashumi eminyaka.
Isixhumanisi phakathi kokuhlukunyezwa kwengqondo kanye nobuntu be-narcissistic
Kuvame ukuhlobana phakathi kokuhlukunyezwa ngokomqondo kanye nokuphazamiseka kobuntu, ikakhulukazi i-narcissistic personality disorder. Abantu be-Narcissistic bavame uku:
- Baphathe labo abaseduze kwabo
- Ukungabi nozwelo
- Funa ukulawula abanye
- Ukuba nesidingo eseqile sokutuswa
Lezi zici zobuntu zingabaholela ekusebenziseni uhlobo lokuhlukumeza ngokwengqondo kulabo abasondelene nabo. Kodwa-ke, kubalulekile ukuqaphela ukuthi akubona bonke abahlukumezi abangabahlukumezi, futhi akubona bonke abahlukumezi abangabahlaseli.
Izinto eziyingozi zokuhlukunyezwa kwengqondo
Izici ezithile zingandisa ingozi yokuhlukunyezwa kwengqondo:
- Umlando wokuhlukunyezwa kwezingane
- Iziyaluyalu zobuntu
- Izidakamizwa
- Ingcindezi kanye nobunzima bezenhlalo nezomnotho
- Izinkambiso zamasiko ezithanda ukubusa
- Ukuntula imfundo engokomzwelo
Lezi zici azikuthetheleli neze ukuphathwa kabi, kodwa ukuziqonda kungasiza ekuvimbeleni.
Umthelela womphakathi wokuhlukunyezwa kwengqondo
Ukuhlukumeza ngokwengqondo kunemiphumela edlula umuntu ngamunye:
- Izindleko ohlelweni lwezempilo
- Ukulahlekelwa ukukhiqiza kwezomnotho
- Ukudluliswa kwezizukulwane ngezizukulwane zamaphethini ahlukumezayo
- Ukumiswa kwe ukuziphatha okunobuthi emphakathini
Yingakho ukulwa nalesi simo kuyindaba ebalulekile yezempilo yomphakathi.
Izinselelo zokuqashelwa kwezomthetho nezenhlalo
Ukuhlukumeza ngokwengqondo ngokuvamile kuhlala kunzima ukufakazela nokujezisa:
- Ukuntuleka kobufakazi obuphathekayo
- Ukungaqapheli kwalesi simo emphakathini jikelele
- Ubunzima bokuchaza ngokusemthethweni ukuhlukunyezwa kwengqondo
- Ukungavumelani nokucwasa okuqhubekayo
Lezi zithiyo zenza kube nzima ukunakekelwa kwabahlukumezekile kanye nokuvinjelwa kwalolu hlobo lodlame.
Ukubaluleka kokuqwashisa nokufundisa
Ukuze ulwe ngempumelelo nokuhlukunyezwa kwengqondo, kubalulekile ukuthi:
- Yazisa umphakathi jikelele mayelana nokuvezwa kwayo kanye nemiphumela yako
- Qeqesha ochwepheshe (ezempilo, imfundo, ubulungisa) ekuhlonzeni nasekulashweni
- Hlanganisa imfundo yemizwa nobudlelwano ezinhlelweni zesikole
- Thuthukisa amamodeli obudlelwano obunempilo nobuhloniphayo
Ukuvimbela kudinga ukuqonda okungcono okuhlangene kwalesi simo.
Isiphetho
Sengiphetha, ukuhlukumeza ngokwengqondo kuyinkinga eyinkimbinkimbi enemiphumela efinyelela kude. Imiphumela yako ingaba yingozi kakhulu kwabahlukunyezwayo futhi ibe nomthelela waphakade ezimpilweni zabo. Ukuqonda izindlela zayo, ukubonakaliswa kwayo kanye nemiphumela yayo kubalulekile ukuze kuvinjwe kangcono futhi kusekelwe abantu abahluphekayo. Ukulwa nalesi sihlava kudinga ukuqwashisa ngokuhlanganyela kanye nezenzo ezididiyelwe kuwo wonke amazinga omphakathi.
Ukulungele ukuvula ikhasi unomphela?
Iseshini yobuso nobuso noCristina iyisinyathelo esibalulekile: ukuqonda, ukuthatha isinyathelo, ukuqhubekela phambili. Ku-inthanethi, noma ngabe ukuphi. Iseshini yokuqeqesha yomuntu ngamunye ngevidiyo (Skype noma WhatsApp) — €100 ngeseshini.
Ufuna ukwesekwa komuntu ngamunye?
UCristina unikeza iseshini yomuntu ngamunye ukukusiza uphume ekulawulweni okuhlukumezayo futhi wakhe impilo yakho kabusha.