I-PN Trap: Ukuqonda Nokunqoba “Ukufuthela Okushisayo Nokubandayo”

Ubudlelwano ne-narcissist buvame ukuphawulwa nge-roller coaster yemizwa. Indlela ebhubhisayo ikakhulukazi esetshenziswa yilaba bantu yaziwa ngokuthi “ukuphefumula kushisa nokubanda.” Lesi sihloko sihlose ukusiza abesifazane abayizisulu zalokhu kuziphatha okunobuthi ukuthi baqonde okwenzeka kubo futhi bathole izindlela zokukubalekela.

Umjikelezo ononya “wokushisa nokubanda”: Ukucacisa ukukhohlisa okuphambene

“Ukushaya kushisa nokubanda” kuyisu le ukuxhashazwa ngokomzwelo lapho ukuhlanekezela kwe-narcissistic kushintshana phakathi kwezikhathi zokunaka okukhulu kanye nezikhathi zokubanda noma zokungabi nandaba. Le nqubo ilimaza kakhulu ngoba igcina isisulu sisesimweni esiqhubekayo sokungaqiniseki nokungalingani ngokomzwelo.

Phakathi nesigaba “sokushisa”, i-narcissist ingase ibe nokunakekela, uthando, futhi ngisho nothando. Kukwenza uzizwe ukhethekile futhi uthandwa. Kodwa-ke, lesi sigaba silandelwa ngokushesha yinkathi “ebandayo” lapho eba kude, ukungabi nandaba noma ngisho nonya. Lokhu kuhluke ngokuphelele kushiya isisulu sididekile futhi sifisa ukuphinde sithole ukunakwa nothando esiluthole kafushane.

Izimpawu Ze-Telltale “Zokushisa Nokubandayo”: Funda Ukuzibona

Ukuze uzivikele, kubalulekile ukukhomba izimpawu zalokhu kuziphatha okukhohlisayo. Nazi ezinye izinkomba:

1. Ukushintshana okungalindelekile phakathi kothando nokunganaki
2. Izikhathi ezinde zokuthula noma zokungabikho zilandelwa izikhathi ezimfushane zokunaka okukhulu
3. Umuzwa oqhubekayo wokuba semzweni
4. Isidingo esiqhubekayo “sokufakazela” uthando noma ukubaluleka kwakho
5. Ukuphrinta hamba ngamagobolondo amaqanda ukugcina ukuvumelana ebudlelwaneni

Uma uqaphela lezi zimpawu ebudlelwaneni bakho, ungase ube yisisulu “sokufutheka okushisayo nokubanda” komhlukumezi we-narcissistic.

Umthelela omubi wokuzethemba: Ukuqonda umonakalo ongokwengqondo

Le ndlela yokukhohlisa inemiphumela ejulile empilweni yengqondo nengokomzwelo yomuntu ohlukunyeziwe. Kungaholela kokuthi:

• Ukulahlekelwa ukuzethemba
• Ukukhathazeka nokucindezeleka
• Umuzwa oqhubekayo wokungazethembi ebudlelwaneni
• Ukuncika ngokomzwelo kumkhohlisi
• Ukulahlekelwa ukuzethemba komuntu siqu kanye nemibono yomuntu siqu

“Ukuphefumula kushisa nokubanda” kancane kancane kuqeda umuzwa wakho weqiniso kanye nokuzethemba kwakho, kukwenze ube sengozini yokukhohliswa.

Amasu okuphendukela kwe-narcissistic ukuze embule amaqhinga akhe

Ukuze alondoloze ukubambelela kwakhe, i-narcissistic pervert isebenzisa amasu ahlukahlukene ngaphezu “kokushisa nokubanda”:

• Le ukukhanyisa igesi : Kuphika ukuba ngokoqobo kokuhlangenwe nakho kwakho, kukwenza ungabaze umbono wakho siqu.
• Unxantathu: Wethula umuntu wesithathu ebudlelwaneni ukuze avuse umona nokungazethembi.
• Uthando lwamabhomu: Ukweqa ngothando ekuqaleni kobudlelwane ukuze akwenze uncike.
• Ukwelashwa buthule: Akakunaki ngokuphelele ukuze akujezise noma akulawule.

Ukuqonda lawa maqhinga kuyisinyathelo sokuqala sokuzivikela kuwo futhi uphinde ulawule impilo yakho.

Phula umjikelezo wokuncika ngokomzwelo futhi uphinde uthole ukuzimela kwakho

Ukuze ubalekele ithonya le-narcissistic pervert, kubalulekile ukunqamula umjikelezo wokuncika ngokomzwelo awudalile. Nazi ezinye izinyathelo zokufeza lokhu:

1. Bona ukukhohlisa: Vuma ukuthi uyisisulu sokuziphatha okunobuthi.
2. Misa kabusha imingcele yakho: Funda ukwenqaba futhi izidingo zakho zihlonishwe.
3. Yakha kabusha ukuzethemba kwakho: Gxila ezimfanelweni zakho siqu kanye nempumelelo.
4. Hlakulela ukuzimela kwakho: Thuthukisa izinto ozithakaselayo nobudlelwano obungaphandle kwalobu budlelwano obunobuthi.
5. Funa usekelo: Zizungeze nabantu abakhathalelayo futhi ucabangele ukwelashwa.

Ukuphulukiswa “Kokushisayo Nokubandayo”: Indlela Eya Ekwakhiweni Kabusha Komuntu Siqu

Indlela eya ekululameni ingase ibe yinde, kodwa kungenzeka. Nazi ezinye izinyathelo zokukusiza ngale nqubo:

• Zinike isikhathi sokuphulukisa: Ukwakha kabusha kuthatha isikhathi, yiba nesineke nawe.
• Zijwayeze ukuzizwela: Ziphathe ngomusa ofanayo ongawunikeza umngane wakho.
• Funda ukuthemba futhi: Kancane kancane, zivulele ebudlelwaneni obusha obunempilo.
• Hlola ukwelashwa: Uchwepheshe angakusiza unqobe ukuhlukumezeka.
• Chaza kabusha amanani nemigomo yakho: Gxila kulokho okubaluleke ngempela kuwe.

Amathuluzi okuzivikela esikhathini esizayo futhi uthuthukise ukukhuthazela ngokumelene nama-manipulators

Ukuze ugweme ukubuyela ebudlelwaneni obunobuthi, kubalulekile ukuthuthukisa amathuluzi okuvikela:

1. Funda ukubona amafulegi abomvu kusukela ekuqaleni kobudlelwano
2. Sebenzela ukuzethemba kwakho kanye nokuzethemba kwakho
3. Misa imingcele enempilo futhi ufunde ukuyigcina
4. Hlakulela ukuzimela kwakho ngokomzwelo nangokwezimali
5. Hlala uqaphile ebusweni be ukuziphatha okukhohlisayo.

Ukubaluleka kosekelo: Ukuthola usizo lokubalekela ukulawula i-narcissistic

Ukuphuma ebudlelwaneni nomuntu ophendukezela i-narcissistic kuyinselelo okungadingeki ubhekane nayo uwedwa. Ukwesekwa kubalulekile kule nqubo:

• Zizungeze nabangane nomndeni okhathalelayo.
• Joyina amaqembu okusekela izisulu zama-narcissists.
• Bona umelaphi ogxile ekuhlukumezeni i-narcissistic.
• Funda ubufakazi nezinsiza mayelana nesihloko.
• Ungangabazi ukufuna usizo lochwepheshe uma uzizwa usengozini.

Ukwakha kabusha impilo yakho ngemuva kwe-narcissist ekufezeni ikusasa elijabulisayo

Ukuphela kobudlelwane obunobuthi nakho kuyisiqalo sempilo entsha. Nansi indlela yokubheka ikusasa ngokuqiniseka:

1. Zitholele kabusha izinkanuko zakho kanye namaphupho akho ebekelwe eceleni.
2. Zibekele imigomo emisha yomuntu siqu neyomsebenzi.
3. Funda ukujabulela ukuba neyakho.
4. Hlakulela ubudlelwano obunempilo nobulinganiselayo.
5. Gubha zonke izinyathelo ezincane eziya ekuzimele kanye nenjabulo yakho.

Isiphetho

“Ukuphefumula kushisa nokubanda” kuyindlela ekhohlisayo esetshenziswa abahlanekezeli be-narcissistic ukugcina ukulawula kwabo. Ngokushintshana phakathi kothando olujulile nokunganaki, bakha ukuncika ngokomzwelo okunzima ukukunqamula.

Kodwa-ke, awunasibopho salokhu kuziphatha okunobuthi futhi ungazikhulula kukho. Ukuqaphela izimpawu, ukuqonda izindlela zokukhohlisa nokusebenza ngokuzethemba kwakho kubalulekile ukuze unqobe lolu vivinyo.

• Zizungeze nabantu abakhathalelayo, funa usizo lochwepheshe uma kunesidingo, futhi ukholelwe ekubalulekeni kwakho. Ufanelwe ubuhlobo obunempilo nobulinganiselayo.
• Okuhlangenwe nakho kwakho akukuchazi. Ngokukunqoba, uzothola amandla angaphakathi angasoleki, okuvula indlela yobudlelwano obanelisayo.
• Khumbula: unamandla, unekhono, futhi ufanelwe okungcono kakhulu. Isinyathelo ngasinye sikusondeza empilweni yamahhala futhi egcwele uthando lwangempela.