Ukucabanga ngemuva komhlukumezi oziqhenyayo: indlela yokuyeka imicabango ekhathazayo

Sekuyihora lesithathu ekuseni futhi uphinde uphinda leyo mpikiswano. Usesha amagama obekufanele uwasho, uphinde ufunde imiyalezo emidala, uzibuza ukuthi ngabe ucabanga ngawe, ukuthi ujabule yini ngomunye umuntu, ukuthi ngabe konke bekungamanga kusukela ekuqaleni. Ubudlelwano buphelile, kodwa ingqondo yakho ayiboni sengathi iyakudedela.

I-Ruminate Lo muzwa wokucabanga ngemva kobudlelwano nomuntu ohlukumezayo ozithanda ngokweqile uvame kakhulu. Akuyona inkomba yokuthi “ubuthakathaka” noma ukuthi usamthanda ngempela; kuyindlela eqondakalayo yokusabela kokuhlangenwe nakho okubuhlungu. Kulesi sihloko, sizohlola ukuthi kungani ukucabanga kuqala, ukuthi ungakubona kanjani, futhi, okubaluleke kakhulu, ukuthi ungakuqeda kanjani, isinyathelo ngesinyathelo.

Incazelo: incazelo

Ukuzindla ukucabanga ngendlela ukuphindaphinda, ukungasebenzi, futhi kugxile ezinkingeniImibuzo efanayo iqhubeka ijikeleza (“kungani?”, “kuthiwani uma?”, “angakwenza kanjani lokho?”) ngaphandle kokuholela empendulweni noma esenzweni. Igama ngokwalo livela emfanekisweni wezilwane ezihlafuna ukudla kwazo: “sihlafuna” imicabango yethu.

Kubalulekile ukuhlukanisa phakathi kokucabanga nokuzindla. Ukuzindla ngokwenzekile kungaba usizo: ukuqonda, ukufunda izifundo, ukwenza izinqumo. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukucabanga akukuqhubeki phambili. Ngokuphambene nalokho, ucwaningo luxhumanisa ukucabanga nokwanda kokudabuka nokucindezeleka. I-Inserm (i-French National Institute of Health and Medical Research) nayo igcizelela ukuthi ukucindezeleka kuyisifo esivamile, esingelapheka futhi akufanele kudidaniswe nokuzizwa uphansi nje.

Kungani sigxila kakhulu kumuntu okhohlakele ozithanda ngokweqile?

Ngemva kobudlelwano obujwayelekile, usizi luvame ukuba lukhulu kodwa lusobala: ulahlekelwe othile. Ngemva kobudlelwano nomuntu okhohlisayo, kuba nokwengezwa okukhulu… ukudidekaIzici eziningana zichaza lokhu:

1. Ukungahambisani okungakaze kuxazululwe

Uthe uyakuthanda wabe esekulimaza. Wathembisa ukushintsha wabe esekwenza futhi. Ubuchopho bakho buzama ukuqonda ulwazi oluphikisanayo bese buhamba buzungeza. umjikelezo wokwenqatshwa kokunciphisa i-idealization Lokhu kushiya “izihibe eziningi ezivulekile”.

2. Ukungabaza okutshalwe yigesi

Ngemva kokuzwa izikhathi eziningi ukuthi ubuweqisa noma uqamba izinto, awusakwazi ukuthi kuyiqiniso. Ngakho-ke uphinde udlale lezi zigcawu ngokuphindaphindiwe, ukuze uhlole.

3. Icala

Umkhohlisi wayevame ukukubangela ukuthi uthwale icala lakho konke. Ingxenye yokucabanga ihilela ukufuna “lokho okwenzile okungalungile.” Isihloko sethu se- yeka ukuzizwa unecala kungakusiza ukuthi ubeke imithwalo yemfanelo endaweni yayo efanele.

4. Isixhumanisi esibuhlungu kanye nokuntuleka

Ukushintshana kobubele nonya kudala ukunamathelana okukhulu. Uma ubuhlobo sebuphelile, ubuchopho bufisa lokhu kuxhumana, njengokuhoxa. Ukucabanga ngomunye umuntu kuba yindlela yokuhlala uxhumene.

5. Isidingo sobulungiswa

Ungathanda ukuthi avume umonakalo awenzile, ukuze abanye babone ukuthi ungubani ngempela. Lokhu kulindela okungenamsebenzi kuvame ukukhulisa izimo ezingapheli.

6. Imiphumela yokucindezeleka okuhlangatshezwana nayo

Ucwaningo olwanyatheliswa ngo-2008 ku- Ubudlova Kwabesifazane kukhombisile ukuthi ukuhlukunyezwa kwengqondo emibhangqwaneni kuhlotshaniswa ngokuzimela nezimpawu zokucindezeleka ngemva kwenhlekelele kanye nokucindezeleka kwabahlukunyezwayo. Imicabango ephazamisayo kanye nokucabanga kuyingxenye yalesi sithombe. Uma uzazi kule ncazelo, isihloko sethu mayelana ukucindezeleka kwangemva kwenhlekelele uzokwazi ukukukhanyisela.

Izimpawu zokuthi uyacabanga

• uphinda izigcawu ezifanayo izikhathi eziningana ngosuku;
• Ucabanga ngezingxoxo lapho ekugcineni umphendula khona;
• Uhlola iphrofayili yakhe, amanethiwekhi akhe, lawo obudlelwano bakhe obusha;
• Ubuza imibuzo efanayo ngokungakhathali kubantu obathandayo;
• Unenkinga yokulala noma uvuka unemicabango enjalo;
• Uzizwa ungcono ngemva kwalezi zikhathi, hhayi kangcono.

Leli phuzu lokugcina libaluleke kakhulu: uma ukucabanga ngobuhlobo kungakulethi ukuqonda okusha noma impumuzo, mhlawumbe kuwukucabanga.

Indlela yokuyeka ukuzindla: izinyathelo ezingu-8 eziqondile

Awukwazi “ukunquma” ukuyeka ukucabanga ngento ethile: ukuzama ukususa umcabango kuvame ukwenza ubuye uqine. Umgomo uwukushintsha maqondana kule micabango nokunciphisa lokho okuyiphembelelayo.

1. Thola isikhathi lapho uwela khona. Mane uzitshele ukuthi: “Ngiyacabanga.” Lesi sinyathelo esincane sokubuyela emuva sivame ukwanele ukunciphisa ukuzungeza.
2. Cima imithombo yamandla. Vimba noma ufihle ama-akhawunti abo ezinkundleni zokuxhumana, gcina izingxoxo, futhi ugcine izithombe kude nabantu. akekho oxhumana naye Futhi kuyisivikelo sengqondo yakho.
3. Zinike isikhathi semicabango yakho. Beka eceleni imizuzu eyi-15 nsuku zonke, ngesikhathi esinqunyiwe, ukuze ubhale phansi konke obekulokhu kwenzeka engqondweni yakho. Ngaphandle kwalesi sikhathi, uma kufika umcabango kuwe, ubhale phansi bese uwuphinda ngesikhathi sakho esinqunyiwe.
4. Bhala, bese uphendula. Ekhasini elilodwa, bhala phansi umbuzo okhathazayo. Kwelinye, bhala phansi impendulo eqotho kakhulu, esekelwa amaqiniso. Ngokuvamile, impendulo ithi: “Angisoze ngazi ukuthi kungani, futhi lokho akudingekile ukuze ngiqhubekele phambili.”
5. Thuthukisa umzimba wakho. Ukuhamba, ezemidlalo, ukudansa, kanye nokulima kuphazamisa ukugeleza kwemicabango. Lokhu akuyona into encane: umzimba usiza ingqondo.
6. Zibuyisele esikhathini samanje. Ukuzivocavoca kokuphefumula, ukunaka izinzwa (izinto ezinhlanu ozibonayo, ezine ozizwayo…), ukuzindla okuqondiswayo: lawa masu asiza ukuphuma esikhaleni.
7. Faka imibuzo ephathelene naye esikhundleni sakho. Esikhundleni sokuthi “kungani angenzele lokho?”, zama ukuthi “ngidingani namuhla?”.
8. Thola usizo. Ezinye izindlela zokwelapha zihlose ngqo ukucabanga. Isivivinyo somtholampilo esanyatheliswa ngo-2025 ku BMC Psychiatry Isibonelo, kuye kwaboniswa ukuthi ukwelashwa kokuziphatha kwengqondo kweqembu okugxile ekucabangeni kunciphisa ukuqaphela kanye nezimpawu zokucindezeleka ezigulini ezihlushwa ukucindezeleka okuphindaphindiwe.

Uhlu lokuhlola lwakusihlwa: imibono yobusuku ezolile

Ubusuku buvame ukuba yisikhathi esinzima kakhulu. Nansi inqubo encane ongayizama:

• ☐ Ucingo lubekwe ngaphandle kwekamelo lokulala (noma kwimodi yendiza) ihora elilodwa ngaphambi kokulala.
• ☐ Imizuzu emihlanu yokubhala: okuhlala engqondweni yami, bese kuba yinto enhle kusukela osukwini.
• ☐ Ukuphefumula kancane okumbalwa, okwelula ukuphefumula.
• ☐ Isisho esiqondisiwe esilungisiwe, isibonelo: “Lesi akusona isikhathi esifanele. Ngizocabanga ngaso kusasa ngo-18 ntambama.”
• ☐ Uma ngingalali ngemva kwemizuzu engama-20, ngiyavuka ngenze umsebenzi othule, ngaphandle kwezikrini.

Lokhu kuyasiza futhi esikhathini eside

Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ukucabanga kuyaphela amandla, ikakhulukazi uma uphinde utshale imali empilweni yakho. Ukuthola kabusha amaphrojekthi, ubungane, kanye nezinjabulo ezilula kunikeza ingqondo yakho ezinye izinto ongagxila kuzo ngaphandle kobudlelwano. Ukusebenza ngokuncika okukubophe kulo muntu nakho kuyasiza: uhlelo lwethu lwalokhu ukugqashula ekuxhomekeni ngokomzwelo ingasebenza njengomhlahlandlela wakho.

Zibekezelele. Ukubuyela emuva kuyinto evamile: usuku lokuzalwa, ingoma, izindaba ngaye kungenza izinto ziphinde zihambe. Akusho ukuthi awuthuthuki.

Isilinganiso sempilo Uma ukucabanga kuhambisana nokudabuka okuqhubekayo, ukuphelelwa yisithakazelo, ukuphazamiseka okukhulu kokulala, noma imicabango yokuzibulala, thintana nodokotela noma isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo ngokushesha. 3114 (Inombolo yocingo yokuvimbela ukuzibulala kazwelonke) iphendula izingcingo amahora angama-24 ngosuku, izinsuku eziyi-24 ngesonto, mahhala. Isihloko sethu mayelana imicabango yokuzibulala ngemuva komhlukumezi ozikhukhumezayo futhi ikhuluma ngalesi sihloko. Uma kwenzeka ingozi esheshayo, shayela ucingo ku- 112 noma 17, Futhi 3919 ngobudlova basekhaya.

Imibuzo fréquentes

Kuthatha isikhathi esingakanani ukucasuka ngemva kobudlelwano obunobuthi?

Lokhu kuyahlukahluka kakhulu kuye ngobude bobudlelwano, ukuqina kokulawula, kanye nokusekelwa onakho. Kwabaningi, ukucabanga kwehla kakhulu ngemva kwezinyanga ezimbalwa zebanga, ikakhulukazi ngokusekelwa.

Ingabe kuyinto evamile ukucabanga ngaye nsuku zonke?

Yebo, ikakhulukazi ekuqaleni. Okubalulekile ukuthambekela: uma imvamisa kanye nokuqina kwehla kancane kancane, usendleleni efanele.

Ingabe ukucabanga kusho ukuthi ngisamthanda?

Akunjalo ngempela. Ukucabanga kuvame ukuhlotshaniswa nokudideka, umuzwa wecala, nokulangazelela, ngaphezu kokuthanda. Ungacabanga ngomuntu ngaphandle kokufuna ukubuyelana naye.

Ingabe sidinga ukukhuluma naye ukuze sithole izimpendulo ekugcineni?

Akuvamile ukuba ngumqondo omuhle. Umkhohlisi unikeza izimpendulo ezimbalwa eziqotho, futhi ukuxhumana kuvame ukuqinisa ukulawula. Izimpendulo ozidingayo zizovela kakhulu ekusebenzeni wena.

Isiphetho

Ukugxila kumhlukumezi ozikhukhumezayo kuyimizamo yengqondo yakho yokuqonda okungaqondakali. Akudingeki uxazulule yonke iphazili ukuze uqhubekele phambili. Kancane kancane, ngokunqamula lokho okondla umjikelezo bese utshala kabusha empilweni yakho, ukuthula kuyabuya. Uma ungathanda ukwesekwa phakathi nalesi sigaba, ungathola ukuqeqeshwa kwezisulu zabahlukumezi abazikhukhumezayo.

Imithombo

• Hasani M. et al., “Ukuhlola ukusebenza kahle kokwelashwa kwengqondo nokuziphatha okugxile ekucabangeni…”, BMC Psychiatry2025: I-PMC12211528
• UMechanic MB nabanye, “Imiphumela yempilo yengqondo yokuhlukunyezwa kwabalingani abaseduze: ukuhlolwa okubanzi kwezinhlobo ezine ezahlukene zokuhlukunyezwa”, Ubudlova Kwabesifazane2008: I-PMC2967430
• Inserm, idokhumenti ethi “Ukucindezeleka”: inserm.fr

Izinombolo zocingo ezithi 17, 3114 no-3919 ezishiwo kuleli khasi zisebenza ezinsizeni zaseFrance.