Kunoma ibuphi ubudlelwano – kungakhathaliseki ukuthi bezothando, bomndeni, obungane, noma umsebenzi – ukubeka imingcele enempilo kubalulekile ekugcineni inhlalakahle yomuntu, ukuzihlonipha, kanye nezindinganiso. Uma uke wachayeka kubantu abakhohlisayo noma abanobuthi, ukufunda ukubeka leyo mingcele kubaluleke nakakhulu. Kodwa singakwenza kanjani lokhu ngokusebenza?
Uyini umngcele womuntu siqu?
a umkhawulo umthetho wangaphakathi esiwubekele wona Ukuchaza ukuthi yini eyamukelekayo noma engamukeleki ekusebenzelaneni kwethu nabanye. Kuyindlela yokuxhumana ngezidingo zethu, okulindelwe kanye nezindinganiso zethu. Imingcele ingaba ngokomzwelo, ngokomzimba, ngokwengqondo, izinto noma ngisho okwesikhashana. Isibonelo:
UCristina unikeza iseshini yomuntu ngamunye ukukusiza uphume ekulawulweni okuhlukumezayo futhi wakhe impilo yakho kabusha.
- Okungokomzwelo: Ukungavumi ukuhlaziswa noma ukuphathwa kabi ngokomzwelo.
- Okubonakalayo: Ukuchaza indawo yokusondelana umuntu angafuni ihlaselwe ngaphandle kwemvume.
- Ingqondo: Gcina isikhala sakho sokucabanga kanye nelungelo lakho lemibono ehlukene.
- Okwesikhashana: Ukuvikela isikhathi sokuphumula somuntu kanye nokulinganisela phakathi komsebenzi nokuphila kwakhe.
Imingcele: Isenzo Sokuzihlonipha
- Ukubeka imikhawulo kwabanye kanye nawe : Ukusetha imikhawulo kuyachaza lokho esikwamukelayo kanye Lokhu kubonisa lokho esikwenqabayo ekusebenzelaneni kwethu nabanye. Sitshela abanye lokho esikulindele nalokho esizimisele ukukubekezelela. Kodwa le mingcele ayigcini nje ngokuphathelene nabanye: ithinta nalokho esizivumela kona, ikakhulukazi ngesikhathi, amandla, kanye nemizwa. Isibonelo, ukunciphisa inani lomsebenzi esiwamukelayo, noma ukuzivumela ukuthi siphumule ukuze silondoloze impilo yethu yengqondo.
- Imikhawulo iwuhlobo lwe ukuzinakekela, futhi zisivumela ukuthi sithi “cha” kulokho okungasiqeda amandla noma kusiqede amandla.
- Umthelela wokungabikho kwemikhawulo : Uma ungenayo imingcele ecacile, kuba lula ukuzifihla ukuze uhlangabezane nokulindelwe abanye. Lokhu kungaholela ku- ukulahlekelwa ubuwena, lapho singasaziboni khona, ngoba sizivumela ukuba sichazwe kuphela yilokho abanye abakulindele kithi. Ngokwengqondo, lokhu kungaholela emizweni yokukhungatheka, intukuthelo, noma ngisho ukucindezeleka, ngoba siphila esimweni sokuzithoba njalo noma ukuntuleka kokuqashelwa komuntu siqu.
Ngokombono ongokwengqondo, asikho ngaphandle kwemingcele.
- Ukungabi bikho kwemingcele kanye nokulahlekelwa ubumina : Ngokombono wengqondo, Ukubeka imingcele kubalulekile ukuze umuntu abe ngumuntu ohlukile. Ngaphandle kwemingcele, sizibeka engcupheni yokulahlekelwa yizifiso kanye nokulindelwe abanye, futhi siyeke ukuziveza njengezinto ezizimele. Lokhu kungaholela ku- ubuhlobo obunobuthi naye, lapho umuntu ehlala ezizwa engaphansi kwengcindezi noma ebambeke ezindimeni ezingamfanele.
- Imingcele isisiza ukuthi siqinisekise ubuthina : bayasisiza sazi singobani, lokho esikuzwayo, kanye lokho esikufunayo ebudlelwaneni bethu. Bakha indawo ephephile yangaphakathi, lapho singathuthuka khona ngaphandle kokucindezelwa yizinto ezilindelwe ngaphandle.
- Ubunikazi bakhelwa ngemikhawulo: Ukubeka imikhawulo nakho kuyindlela ukuzichaza. Ngokwenqaba lokho okungavumelani nezindinganiso noma izidingo zethu, siyaqinisekisa ukuba khona kwethu. Ngakho-ke imingcele iba ithuluzi lokukhula komuntu siqu, ngoba liyasisiza ukuthi ukuzivikela thina, thina ngokwethu ukuhlonipha, nakithi ukuze kufezwe ngokugcwele.
Izinzuzo Zengqondo Zokubeka Imingcele
- Ukuqinisa ukuzethemba : Ukubeka imikhawulo kuqinisa ukuzethemba, ngoba kusho ukuthi siyaqaphela ukubaluleka kwethu nokuthi siziqinisekisa. Ngokubeka imingcele ecacile, sithumela umyalezo wokuthi Sinelungelo lokukhetha okuhle kithi, futhi asibophekile ukuzidela ukuze sijabulise abanye.
- Ukuvikelwa ekukhathaleni ngokomzwelo : Imikhawulo isebenza njenge-a indlela yokuzivikela ekukhathaleni ngokomzwelo. Zisivumela ukuthi ukuphatha amandla ethu, ukuzivikela emathonyeni amabi, nokugwema ukukhathala ngenxa yezibopho noma ukuziphatha esingakwamukeli.
- Ukwakha Ubudlelwano Obunempilo : Imingcele ibalulekile ebudlelwaneni obulinganiselayo. Zisivumela ukuba sisho ngokucacile lokho esikulindele kwabanye kanye nalokho esingakunikeza. Lokhu kunciphisa ingozi ukukhohlisa, ubudlova obungokomzwelo noma Ukuntuleka kwenhlonipho. Ubudlelwano bube sebuba ngcono okuyiqiniso, okusekelwe ekuhlonipheni izidingo zomunye nomunye.
Kusho ukuthini ukuba nemingcele enempilo?
des Imikhawulo enempilo yile:
- Claires: Siyazi ukuthi sifunani futhi sikuveza ngokucacile.
- Ukungaguquguquki: Izenzo zethu zilandela amazwi ethu; sihlala singaguquguquki.
- Inhlonipho: Sibeka imingcele yethu ngaphandle kokuhlasela noma ukukhombisa indelelo kwabanye, futhi siyabahlonipha nababanye.
Ukuba nemingcele enempilo akunjalo hhayi ubugovu noma ubudlova. Kuyisenzo sothando kuwena nakwabanye, ngoba kuvumela ubudlelwano okuyiqiniso kakhulu futhi okulinganiselayo.
Kungani imingcele enempilo ibalulekile?
Imingcele enempilo:
- Qinisa ugqhozu lwakho,
- Nyusa ubudlelwano obulinganiselayo,
- Londoloza wethu amandla kanye ne- ukuthula,
- Sivikele ekuhlukunyezweni, ekuxhashazweni noma ekuxhashazweni,
- Sivumele ukucacisa yethu okulindelwe kanye nokunciphisa ukungaqondani.
Ngaphandle kwemingcele ecacile, sisengozini yokuzizwa ukukhathala, ukukhungatheka, ngisho ukucindezelwa yizidingo noma ukuziphatha kwabanye.
Kungani kunzima kangaka ukubeka imingcele?
Kunezizathu ezimbalwa zokuthi kungani lobu bunzima bungachazwa:
- Ukwesaba ukudumaza noma ukulahlekelwa uthando lomunye.
- Icala lokuqinisekisa izidingo zomuntu.
- Ukukhuliswa lapho imingcele yayingamukeleki noma ijeziswa.
- Umkhuba wokuba sesimweni sokulawula noma ukuhlukumeza ngokomzwelo.
Ukuqaphela lokhu kuvinjwa kuyisinyathelo sokuqala sokuzikhulula kukho.
Cacisa izidingo zakho namagugu
Ngisho nangaphambi kokuveza imingcele yakho kwabanye, kubalulekile ukuba qonda ukuthi uzizwa kanjani nokuthi yini oyidingayo.
Ukubeka imingcele esebenzayo kuqala ngokuzazi kahle.
Thatha isikhashana ucabange:
- Yini engenza ngingakhululeki?
(Isibonelo: ukuphazanyiswa njalo, ukuthola ukugxekwa okulimazayo, ukuphawula ngokubukeka kwami.) - Yikuphi ukuziphatha engizimisele ukukubekezelela?
(Isibonelo: Ngingakwamukela ukungaboni ngaso linye ngenhlonipho, kodwa hhayi ukumemeza noma ukuthuka.) - Yiziphi izinto eziza kuqala kimi njengamanje?
(Isibonelo: ukulondoloza isikhathi sami sokuphumula, ukugxila emsebenzini othile, ukuchitha isikhathi nomndeni wami.)
Ukwazi izinto eziza kuqala kuwe kanye nemingcele yakho kukuvumela ukuba wenze kanjalo beka imingcele ecacile, ngaphandle kokuvumela ukuthi unqotshwe yizidingo noma okulindelwe abanye.
Icebiso elincane eliwusizo:
Bhala phansi encwadini noma ocingweni lwakho ukuthi yini ekukhathazayo noma ofuna ukuyivikela.
Lapho ucaca ngokwengeziwe kuwe, uzoqiniseka ngokwengeziwe ekubekeni imingcele yakho ngokwemvelo.
Kungani lesi sinyathelo sibaluleke kangaka?
👉 Ngoba asikwazi ukufuna ukuthi abanye bahloniphe lokho esingakazichazi ngokwethu.
👉 Ngoba ukwazi okufunayo kukuvimbela ukuthi ungavumeli ukucindezelwa noma umuzwa wecala.
Khuluma ngokucacile nangokuqondile
Uma usuzicacisile izidingo zakho namagugu, isinyathelo esilandelayo uku Xoxa ngemingcele yakho ngokucacile nangokuqondile. Lesi sinyathelo sibalulekile, ngoba noma ngabe uyazi ukuthi yini oyifunayo noma ongayifuni, kuzoba nomthelela kuphela uma ukwazi. Khuluma ngokusobala. Umgomo ukugwema noma yikuphi ukungaqondakali, okungaholela ekungaqondani noma ukwephulwa kwemingcele yakho.
Lapho uzwakalisa izidingo zakho, kwenze lokho ngaphandle kokungabaza futhi ngaphandle kokuzithethelela ngokweqile. Liyeke icala elingase likwenze uxolise ngokubeka umngcele. Isibonelo, uma othile ekucela ukuthi wenze okuthile okungaphezu kwamandla akho noma izinto eziza kuqala kuwe, esikhundleni sokuphendula ngokungacacile ukuthi “Anginasiqiniseko” noma “mhlawumbe,” “Cha, angikwazi ukuzibophezela kulokho njengamanje” kusebenza kakhulu. Ukuxhumana okucacile kufana nokuhlonipha wena nabanye. Unelungelo lokuveza izidingo zakho ngaphandle kokuthi uphendule zonke izinqumo. A Impendulo eqondile, njengokuthi “Ngingathanda sixoxe ngalokhu kamuva” noma “Akuyona into engingayamukela,” ikhombisa ukuthi uqinile ngaphandle kokuba nolaka. Lokhu kudala indawo lapho imingcele yakho ihlonishwa khona, futhi uqinisekisa ilungelo lakho lokuba ubudlelwano obunempilo nokulinganiselayo.
Xoxa ngokukhululekile ngalokho okulindele
Ukulindela okufanayo kusenhliziyweni yanoma ibuphi ubuhlobo obunempilo. Zinike isikhathi sokuxoxa Okulindelwe umlingani ngamunye mayelana nezici ezibalulekile zokuphila kombhangqwana:
- La Ukuxhumana: Ufisa ukuxhumana kanjani, ikakhulukazi ngezikhathi ezinzima noma ezicindezelayo?
- La Ukwethembeka nokuzibophezela: Yini elindelwe maqondana nokwethembeka nokusekelwa?
- Izindima: Yimiphi imithwalo yemfanelo yomlingani ngamunye ebudlelwaneni? Isibonelo, ingabe kukhona okulindelwe okuhlobene nokuhlela umndeni, ukuphathwa kwezezimali, noma ukukhulisa izingane?
Umqondo awukona ukwakha imithetho eqinile, kodwa ukuvumela umuntu ngamunye ukuba aveze lokho akulindele komunye umuntu ukuze ubuhlobo busebenze ngokuzwana.
Veza izidingo zakho ngokucacile
Uma okulindelekile kusethiwe, kubalulekile Ukubeka amazwi ezidingweni zakho. Wonke umuntu unezidingo ezingokomzwelo, ezingokwengqondo nezingokwenyama. Ukuveza lezi zidingo kugwema ukukhungatheka nokungaqondani. Isibonelo, ungathi:
- “Ngidinga izikhathi zokuba ngedwa ukuze ngiphinde ngishaje amabhethri ami.”
- “Ngidinga ukuthi ungisekele kakhulu kumaphrojekthi ami ochwepheshe.”
- “Ngizizwa ngidinga ukusondelana ngokomzwelo okukhulu njengamanje.”
Lezi zicelo ngokuvamile zilula, kodwa kufanele zivezwe ngokucacile ukuze omunye uzakwethu aziqonde futhi aziphendule ngendlela efanele.
Misa imithetho yokusebenza
Uma okulindelwe kanye nezidingo kuvezwa, kuyasiza uku Yakha imithetho yokusebenza evumela ubudlelwano ukuthi buchume. Le mithetho kufanele iguquguquke futhi ivulekele ukuhlolwa kabusha ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Nazi ezinye izibonelo:
- Ukuhlonipha isikhala somuntu siqu: “Sihlonipha izikhathi lapho omunye wethu efisa ukuba yedwa, ngaphandle kokungenelela.”
- Isikhathi esisezingeni eliphezulu: “Sichitha okungenani ubusuku obubodwa ngesonto ndawonye, ngaphandle kweziphazamiso zangaphandle (akukho cingo, akukho thelevishini).”
- Ukuxhumana okuvulekile: “Sizibophezele ekuthembekeni komunye nomunye, ngisho noma iqiniso lingase libe nzima ukulizwa.”
- Ukuphathwa kwezingxabano: “Sithembisa ukuthi ngeke siphakamise amazwi ethu futhi sizolalela omunye umuntu ngaphambi kokuphendula.”
Ukuhlolwa kabusha njalo kwemithetho nezidingo
Kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuthi Ubudlelwano buyashintsha ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Izidingo, okulindelwe, kanye nemithetho yokusebenza kumele kube njalo Bahlolwa kabusha njalo ukuze bazivumelanise nezinguquko empilweni, emndenini, emsebenzini, noma ezifisweni zomuntu siqu. Isibonelo, umbhangqwana unganquma ukubuyekeza imithetho yawo yokusebenza ngemva konyaka noma ngemva kwesenzakalo esibalulekile ebudlelwaneni (ukuthutha indlu, ukufika komntwana, inkinga yomsebenzi, njll.).
Kungani “inkontileka” yombhangqwana ibalulekile?
Ukwakha Inkontileka yombhangqwana akuyona into ebandayo, kodwa yinto yangempela Ukuzibophezela kokubili ekusekeleni nasekuhlonipheni wonke umuntu. Lokhu kusenza sikwazi:
- Cacisa okulindelekile futhi ugweme ukungezwani.
- Dala indawo ye ukuzethemba kanye ukuphepha.
- Nyusa kangcono ukuxhumana kanye ukuqonda izidingo zabanye.
- Qinisa iukusondelana ngokomzwelo kanyeibhalansi ebudlelwaneni.
Izibonelo ze imithetho embalwa:
- Ukuhlonipha izikhathi zokuthula: “Uma omunye wethu efuna isikhathi sokuthula nokuthula ngemva kosuku olumatasa, omunye uzosihlonipha leso sidingo ngaphandle kokungabaza.”
- Isikhathi sobabili kanye nesikhathi sodwa: ”Sizibophezele ekudleni isidlo sakusihlwa ndawonye okungenani kabili ngesonto, kodwa wonke umuntu angaba nesikhathi sodwa sokuvuselela amandla.”
- Ukuphathwa kwezezimali: “Sinquma ndawonye kuzo zonke izinto ezinkulu ezithengiwe futhi siba nengxoxo yanyanga zonke mayelana nezimali zethu.”
Kafushane, a inkontileka yombhangqwana kanye Imithetho ecacile ivumela ukwakhiwa kobudlelwano obungcono. okuqinile nokugculisayo. Lokhu kunikeza uhlaka lapho bobabili abalingani bengachuma khona ngenkathi behlonipha izidingo zabo ngabanye. Khumbula ukuthi isihluthulelo siseku ukuxhumana okuqhubekayo kanyeukulungiswa okusekelwe ezinguqukweni ebudlelwaneni.
Yenqaba ukuphazanyiswa ngesikhathi sokuphumula
Ukunaka isikhathi sakho sokululama kubalulekile empilweni yengqondo nengokomzimba. “Ngizinika isikhathi manje. Ngizokuthinta ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. » 🧘♂️ Ukuphumula kwakho sekuphelile. Kuyisidingo esibalulekile, hhayi ukunethezeka. Ukusivikela kuyisenzo sokuzihlonipha.
- Ngamagama alula naqondile: “Ngiphumule. Ngicela ungangiphazamisi.”
- Ngesibonakaliso sesikhathi: “Ngidinga isikhathi sokuthula. Ngizobuyela kuwe ngemuva kwehora.”
- Ukubeka umngcele ocacile ngaphambi kokuba uphumule: “Sengizophumula manje. Ngaphandle uma kuyisimo esiphuthumayo, ngicela ungangiphazamisi.”
- Uma othile ephikelela noma kunjalo: “Ngiyaqonda ukuthi udinga ukukhuluma, kodwa njengamanje, into yokuqala engiyibekele ukuphumula. Lokhu sizokuxoxa ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.”
- Ngenhlonipho kodwa ngokuqinile: “Ngiyasihlonipha isidingo sakho sokukhuluma, kodwa okwamanje ngidinga ukuthula ukuze ngilulame.”
- Uma ufuna ukuvimbela nokugwema noma yikuphi ukuphazamiseka: “Ngicisha ucingo lwami/ngilufake ku silent ngoba ngiphumule ngizotholakala ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.
Ukufuna ukuphathwa ngenhlonipho, ngaphandle kwenhlamba noma ukululazeka
Ukungabekezeleli ukuziphatha okunobuthi kusiza ukulondoloza ukuzethemba. “Angivumi ukuthukwa. Uma lokhu kuqhubeka, ngizoyishiya inkulumo. » 💬 Uma ufuna ukuhlonishwa, Asikho isidingo sokuphakamisa izwi lakho noma ukuchaza kabanzi.
Ukuzola nokuqina kungamandla akho amakhulu.
- Ngamagama alula naqondile: “Kungifanele ukuphathwa ngenhlonipho. Angilwamukeli lolu hlobo lwenkulumo.”
- Uma othile ekuthuka noma ekuhlambalaza: “Akwamukelekile lokhu oqeda kukusho. Ngiyala ukuthukwa.”
- Ukusetha umkhawulo osheshayo: “Uma uqhubeka nokungangihloniphi, ngizoyiqeda le ngxoxo.”
- Ngokuthula kodwa ngokuqinile: “Angikubekezeleli ukugxekwa okuyihlazo. Uma ufuna ukukhuluma, kwenze ngenhlonipho.”
- Uma umuntu enciphisa noma ethethelela ukuziphatha kwakhe: “Noma ngabe uhloseni, ngicela ukhulume nami ngenhlonipho.”
- Uma kwenzeka amahlaya angafanele noma ukuhlaselwa okufihliwe: “Ngisho ihlaya, angikutholi kwamukelekile lokhu. Ngicela niyeke.”
- Uma unquma ukudala ibanga ngemva kokungahloniphi: “Ngikhetha ukuhamba ngoba ngenqaba ukuphathwa ngale ndlela.”
Ithi cha kwezinye izibopho
Ukwenqaba izibopho ezengeziwe uma usuvele uthwele kanzima, ngaphandle kokuzizwa unecala. Ngiyasiqonda isidingo sakho, kodwa angikwazi ukukusiza kulokhu.
- Kulula futhi kuqondile: “Ngiyabonga ngokungicabangela, kodwa angikwazi ukwamukela noma yiziphi ezinye izibopho ngalesi sikhathi.”
- Ngokubeka umkhawulo ngaphandle kokuzithethelela: “Cha, angitholakali ngalokho.”
- Ngokubonga, kodwa ngaphandle kokuvuma: “Kuhle ukunikeza, kodwa kufanele ngenqabe ukugcina ibhalansi yami.”
- Uma ufuna ukuphakamisa okunye: “Angikwazi ukuzinikela manje, kodwa ngingase ngikwazi ukusiza ngokuhamba kwesikhathi uma isimo sami sivuma.”
- Ubhekene nokucindezeleka okuqhubekayo: “Ngiyaqonda ukuthi lokhu kubalulekile kuwe, kodwa impendulo yami ihlala ingucha.”
- Uma uzizwa sengathi usuvele ugcwele ngokweqile: “Ngincamela ukwethembeka: Sengivele ngizinikele ngokuphelele kwenye indawo futhi angikwazi ukuthatha izibopho ezintsha.”
- Uma kwenzeka isimo esiphuthumayo noma uzama ukwenza umuntu azizwe enecala: “Ngiyazwelana, kodwa kufanele ngihloniphe imingcele yami ukuze ngihlale ngisebenza kahle futhi nginempilo.”
Cela indawo yomuntu siqu lapho uzizwa ucindezelekile ngokomzwelo noma ngokomzimba. Isibonelo
- Uma othile ehlasela indawo yakho ebonakalayo (esondela kakhulu, akuthinte ngaphandle kwemvume): “Ngidinga ukuthi uhloniphe ibhamuza lami lomuntu siqu, ngicela uhambe kancane.”
- Uma othile ephikelela ekukhulumeni uma ungatholakali ngokomzwelo: “Ngiyaqonda ukuthi ufuna ukukhuluma ngakho, kodwa okwamanje ngidinga isikhathi ngedwa ukuze ngiphinde ngigxile.”
- Uma othile ekuphoqa ukuthi uveze imizwa ongakakulungeli ukuyabelana ngayo: “Kungcono ngikugcine kimi lokho okwamanje. Ngiyabonga ngokuhlonipha ijubane lami.”
- Uma othile ekuphazamisa njalo uma udinga ukuthula nokuthula: “Ngidinga isikhathi ngaphandle kokucela ukuphumula. Ngizobuyela kuwe uma sengilungile.”
- Uma ubhekene nokucindezeleka okukhulu ngokomzwelo (isibonelo, ukugxekwa, ukulindela okungenakwenzeka): “Lesi simo siyangihlula kancane. Ngidinga ukuthatha ibangana ukuze ngicacise lokho engikuzwayo.”
- Uma othandekayo ephazamisa kakhulu, ngisho noma enezinhloso ezinhle: “Ngiyazi ukuthi ufuna ukungisiza, kodwa njengamanje engikudinga ngempela ukuba ngedwa ukuze ngicabange.” »
Isibonelo – Qeda ingxoxo uma iba nendelelo noma inolaka.
- Uma umuntu eqala ukukuhlambalaza noma ukukuhlazisa: “Angivumi ukuphathwa ngale ndlela. Le ngxoxo iphelela lapha.”
- Uma ithoni iba nolaka noma ikhohlisa: “Ngeke ngiqhubeke nokuxoxa ngalokhu kuze kube yilapho inhlonipho isibuyile. Ngiyahamba.”
- Uma umuntu ezama ukukwenza uzizwe unecala noma ekuthuka ngobuqili: “Lokho okushoyo akuhloniphi. Ngiqeda le ngxoxo ukuze ngizivikele.”
- Uma ekuphoqa ukuba uphikisane ukuze ulahlekelwe ukuzibamba: “Ngiyenqaba ukuzibandakanya empikiswaneni engenamsebenzi. Ngithanda ukuqeda le ngxoxo.”
- Uma ephendula isimo ngokumelene nawe ngokukusola: “Ngiyabona ukuthi le ngxoxo iya ngokuba yingozi. Ngikhetha ukungabe ngisahlanganyela.”
Indlela yokubeka imingcele?
- Ukuhlonza izidingo zomuntu: ukulalela umzimba nemizwa yakhe ukuze kuhlonzwe ukuthi yini engasifanele.
- Veza imingcele yakho ngokuthula: sebenzisa imisho yokuqinisekisa (“Ngithanda…”, “Angifisi…”).
- Lungela ukugcina imingcele yakho: bakhumbuze uma kudingeka futhi uthathe isinyathelo uma bengahlonishwa.
- Ukuzijwayeza ukuzizwela: ukubeka umkhawulo akusikho ukuba nobugovu, kuwukuzihlonipha.
Ungasho kanjani ngokugomela?
Ukwenqaba akusho ukudelela noma ukungabi nandaba nezidingo zabanye. Kunalokho, kumayelana nokuthola ukulingana phakathi kokuhlonipha nokuhlonipha izidingo zakho. Nawa amanye amathiphu wokuthi cha ngendlela yokugomela nenomusa:
- 1. Khuluma ngokuqondile, kodwa ube nenhlonipho: Ukucaca kubalulekile. Asikho isidingo sokushaya indlwabu. Yenqaba kalula nangokuqondile, kodwa ngenhlonipho. Isibonelo: “Ngiyabonga ngesipho sakho, kodwa angikwazi ukwamukela kulokhu.”
- 2. Sebenzisa ulimi oluhle: Zama ukusho ukwenqaba kwakho ngendlela eyakhayo ukuze ungashiyi umbono ongemuhle. Isibonelo: “Ngiyajabula ukuthi ungicabangele, kodwa kufanele ngenqabe lesi sipho.”
- 3. Ungaxolisi ngokweqile: Nakuba kuheha ukuxolisa kakhulu, kubalulekile ukungachazi ngokweqile noma ukungathetheleli impendulo yakho. Ukwenqaba okucacile nokunenhlonipho akudingi incazelo eningiliziwe. Isibonelo: “Angikwazi ukuhlanganyela kulo msebenzi, kodwa ngikufisela inhlanhla.”
- 4. Nikeza okunye uma kungenzeka: Uma kufanele, ungakunikeza okunye. Lokhu kubonisa ukuthi ufuna ukusiza ngaphandle kokuzibophezela ngokuqondile. Isibonelo: “Angikwazi ukunakekela lokho, kodwa ngiyazi othile ongakujabulela ukukusiza.”
- 5. Hlala uqinile futhi ungaguquguquki: Abanye abantu bazophikelela noma bazame ukukukholisa ukuthi ushintshe umqondo wakho. Kubalulekile ukuma uqinile futhi ungavumeli ukucindezelwa. Unelungelo lokuthi cha ngaphandle kokuzithethelela noma ukuzizwa unecala.
Yima uqine lapho ubhekene nokusabela okungekuhle: Hlala uzolile futhi uqine
Kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuthi uma uqala ukubeka imingcele, kungase kubangele ukusabela okunamandla okungokomzwelo, ikakhulukazi kulabo ababekujwayele njalo ukuthi yebo noma uvumela isimilo sishelelezi obungakuphathanga kahle. Laba bantu bangase bazizwe behlazekile, baze bahlaselwe, ngokwenqaba kwakho. Ngenxa yalokho, bangase basabele ngokucasuka, ukugxeka okungokomzwelo, noma umuzwa wecala. Kubalulekile ukuhlala uqinile futhi uzolile lapho ubhekene nalokhu kusabela.
Kungani lokhu kusabela kwenzeka?
Lapho uqala ukubeka imingcele, labo ababesebenzisa ngokunenzuzo ukuntula kwakho imingcele bangase bazizwe benqatshiwe, bekhungathekile, noma bedayisiwe. Lokhu kungase kubangele intukuthelo noma usizi kubo, njengoba bengasenandawo lapho bezizwa bekhululekile. Abanye bangasebenzisa amasu afana ukusongela ngokomzwelo, izinsongo ezingabonakali noma ngisho ukuzisola ukuze uzame ukukukwenza ucabange kabusha ngesinqumo sakho.
Izibonelo zezimpendulo ezivamile:
- Intukuthelo: “Uyangilahla, awungikhathaleli!”
- Ukungisongela ngokomzwelo: “Ukube ubungithanda ngempela, ubungenza lokhu ngenxa yami.”
- Ukuzizwa unecala: “Uma ungakwamukeli, uzongilimaza imizwa yami.”
Ungasabela kanjani kulokhu kusabela?
- Hlala uzolile futhi ugxile: Ukusabela okungekuhle kungakuphazamisa, kodwa kubalulekile ukuhlala uzolile. Phefumula kakhulu futhi ungavumeli ukucindezelwa okuvela komunye umuntu kushintshe umqondo wakho. Khumbula ukuthi imingcele yakho isemthethweni nokuthi unelungelo lokuyibeka.
- Ungazivumeli ukuthi ukhohliswe: Imizamo yokulawula imizwa, njengokusongela imizwa noma ukukhubeka ngecala, iyizindlela zokulawula. Hlala uqaphele lokhu futhi wenqabe ukudonseleka kule midlalo. Phendula ngokuqiniseka kodwa ngomoya ophansi: “Ngiyaqonda ukuthi udumele, kodwa isinqumo sami sisafana.”
- Veza imizwa yakho ngaphandle kwecala: Ungachaza izizathu zakho ngaphandle kokuzizwa unecala. Isibonelo: “Ngifisa sengathi ngabe ngikusizile, kodwa ngidinga ukunakekela izinto eziza kuqala kanye nenhlalakahle yami.” Lokhu kukhombisa ukuthi uyamhlonipha omunye umuntu ngenkathi uhlala uqotho ezidingweni zakho.
- Phinda ukuma kwakho uma kudingeka: Uma umuntu ephikelela, ngezinye izikhathi kuyadingeka ukuphinda isinqumo sakho ngokuthula. Ungathi: “Ngichazile ukuthi kungani ngingenakukwamukela lokhu. Ingqondo yami isinqumile, futhi ngithemba ukuthi uzoyihlonipha.”
- Ungachazi ngokweqile: Akudingeki uziphendulele noma unikeze incazelo ende. Ngezinye izikhathi, ukuthi “Cha, angikwazi” kwanele. Akudingeki unikeze isizathu esiningiliziwe sokwenqaba ngakunye. Imingcele yakho iyasebenza, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ichaziwe noma cha.
Zivikele ezingcindezini zangaphandle
Esinye sezizathu ezenza kube nzima ukwenqaba ukwesaba ukwenqatshwa noma ukungavunyelwa abanye. Nokho, kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuthi ukwenqaba akusho ukuthi ungumuntu omubi, noma ukuthi wenqaba omunye umuntu. Kusho nje ukuthi unezinto eziza kuqala, izidingo, nemingcele okufanele uyihloniphe ukuze uhlale ulinganisele futhi unempilo.
Uma ukusabela okungekuhle kuqhubeka futhi umuntu eqhubeka nokukukhohlisa, kungase kusize ukuhlola kabusha ubuhlobo. Ubuhlobo obunempilo busekelwe ekuhloniphaneni, kuhlanganise nokuhlonipha imingcele yomuntu siqu. Uma lo muntu engakwazi ukwamukela imingcele yakho, angase angakulungeli ukuba nobuhlobo obunempilo, obulinganiselayo nawe.
Ukunqoba Icala Lokuthi Cha: Indlela Yokuzihlonipha kanye Nenkululeko Yemizwa
Ukwenqaba kungenye yezinto ezinamandla kakhulu ongayenza ukuze uvikele inhlalakahle yakho, kodwa futhi kungenye yezinto ezinzima kakhulu, ikakhulukazi uma kuhambisana nomuzwa wecala. Ngempela, abantu abaningi bazizwa benecala ngemva kokubeka umngcele, obavimbela ukuba bazinakekele futhi ngokuvamile ubaholela ekubeni bazidele ngenxa yabanye. Ukunqoba leli cala kubalulekile ekwakheni ubudlelwano obunempilo nokugcina impilo yengqondo.
Kungani uzizwa unecala uma uthi cha?
Icala lokwenqaba ngokuvamile livela emithonjeni eminingana ejulile:
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Isimo somphakathi
Kusukela sisebancane, sivame ukuba nesimo sokukholelwa ukuthi ukuthi yebo kufana nomusa nokunakekela, kuyilapho ukuthi cha kungase kubonakale njengobugovu noma okunonya. Lo mbono uqiniswa yimikhuba yamasiko nenhlalo yomphakathi lapho ukucabangela nokuzidela kuyaziswa. Kungenzeka ukuthi ukhulele endaweni lapho kwakungamukeleki khona ukwenqaba isicelo, okungadala imizwa yecala lapho uthatha isimo sengqondo esihlukile.
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Ukwesaba ukwaliwa
Ukwenqaba kungahlotshaniswa nokwesaba okujulile ukwaliwa. Ungase ube nomuzwa wokuthi ukwenqaba isicelo kuzoholela ekudumazekeni noma ekuwohlokeni kobuhlobo. Lokhu kwesaba kungaba namandla ikakhulukazi uma uke waphila esimweni lapho ukwamukelwa abanye bekubalulekile kuwe. Ukwenqaba ukufeza okulindelwe abanye abantu kungase kubonakale kuwusongo ekuzethembeni kwabo, ngisho noma kungenjalo.
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Ukufuna ukuphelela
Abantu abathanda ukuphelela bavame ukuba nenkinga yokuthi cha ngoba bafuna ukubonwa njengabantu abanekhono abangakwazi ukufeza noma yini futhi bahlangabezane nakho konke okulindelekile. Ukufuna ukuphelela kungakwenza ukholelwe ukuthi kumelwe uhlale uthi yebo ukuze ubonise ukubaluleka kwakho, okuholela ekubeni nemizwa yecala lapho ukhetha ukuzibeka kuqala.
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Uzwela oludlulele
Uma ungumuntu onozwela ngokukhethekile, cishe uyazizwela izidingo zabanye. Ukuthi cha kungaholela ekungqubuzaneni kwangaphakathi: uyaqonda ukuthi omunye uyakudinga, kodwa kufanele futhi uhloniphe nezidingo zakho. Lokhu kushuba kungaholela ekubeni necala elikhulu.
Ungalinqoba kanjani leli cala?
1. Inselele izinkolelo ezinomkhawulo
Icala lokuthi cha ngokuvamile libangelwa izinkolelo ezingenangqondo ezifakwe kithi. Enye yalezi zinkolelo ukuthi ukwenqaba kuwubugovu. Kubalulekile ukuqaphela lokho Ukuzinakekela akusikho ubugovu noma akulungile. Unelungelo lokuvikela isikhathi sakho, amandla, kanye nenhlalakahle yakho. Umbono wokuthi kufanele uthi yebo njalo ukuze waziwe noma uthandwe ungamanga futhi unciphisa amandla akho.
Isivivinyo esisebenzayo: Cabanga ngezikhathi lapho wathi yebo ngenxa yecala bese uqaphela imiphumela. Ingabe wawukhathele? Ingabe wehlisa izindinganiso zakho? Lokhu kungakusiza ubone ukuthi, empeleni, ukuthi cha kuvame ukukuvikela ezimweni ezimbi.
2. Yamukela ukuthi awukwazi ukujabulisa wonke umuntu
Ukwesaba ukwenqatshwa noma ukudumaza abanye kuvamile, kodwa kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuthi awukwazi ukuhlangabezana nakho konke okulindelekile. Uma uthi yebo kukho konke, uchitha amandla akho futhi ngeke ukwazi ukuba lapho ngempela kulabo ababalulekile. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ngokuzinakekela, ubekela abanye isibonelo ngokubaluleka kokuhlonipha imingcele yakho.
Ukuzivocavoca okusebenzayo: Qaphela ukuthi noma umuntu ophambi kwakho ephoxekile ekuqaleni, ekugcineni uzohlonipha isikhundla sakho, futhi lokhu kuzoqinisa ubuhlobo ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Ngokuzinakekela, uba qotho futhi utholakale kakhudlwana kwabanye.
3. Qaphela ukuthi izidingo zakho zivumelekile
Kungokwemvelo ukufuna ukuzinakekela. Ukuba nezidingo nezinto ezibalulekile akubona ubuthakathaka, kodwa amandla. Ukuthi cha kuyindlela yokuthi izidingo zakho zihlonishwe ngaphandle kokudebeselela izidingo zabanye. Ubaluleke njengalabo abakuzungezile, futhi izifiso zakho, imizwa, nemingcele ifanele ukulalelwa futhi ihlonishwe.
Ukuzivocavoca okusebenzayo: Zinike isikhathi nsuku zonke ukuhlola izidingo zakho ezingokomzwelo, zomzimba nezengqondo. Bhala phansi ukuthi uzizwa kanjani nokuthi kungani udinga ukubeka imingcele. Lokhu kuzokusiza ukuthi uthethelele izinqumo zakho kalula futhi unciphise umuzwa wecala.
4. Shintsha umbono wakho ngecala
Kunokuba ubone umuzwa wecala njengomzwelo ongemuhle, zama ukukubona njengophawu. Kungaba yinkomba yokuthi uphambuka ezidingweni zakho noma uthonywa ngokweqile okulindelwe abanye. Kunokuba ubalekele, kusebenzise njengethuba lokuphinda uhlole izinto eziza kuqala kuwe futhi ulungise imingcele yakho.
Ukuzivocavoca okusebenzayo: Uma uzizwa unecala, zibuze: “Yini engenza ngizizwe nginecala?” Bese uqaphela ukuthi unelungelo lokuthi cha kuwe, ngenkathi uhlala uhlonipha futhi uqotho kwabanye.
5. Zijwayeze ukuzizwela
Ukuba nomusa kuwena kubalulekile ohlelweni lokunqoba icala. Kwesinye isikhathi kuba nzima ukwamukela ukuthi awukwazi ukujabulisa wonke umuntu ngaso sonke isikhathi, kodwa khumbula ukuthi ungumuntu futhi unemingcele. Ukuzihawukela kumayelana nokuziphatha ngomusa nokuqonda okufanayo ongakunikeza umngane osesimweni esifanayo.
Ukuzivocavoca okusebenzayo: Noma nini lapho uzizwa unecala, shintsha imicabango engemihle ngemibono emihle. Isibonelo: “Kulungile ukuhlonipha imikhawulo yami. Ngifanele ukuzinakekela.”
Ukuzikhulula ecaleni kuwukuzikhulula.
Ukunqoba icala lokuthi cha kuyinqubo edinga isineke nokuzijwayeza. Ngokufunda ukuqaphela izidingo zakho nokuhlonipha imikhawulo yakho, uthatha isinyathelo esikhulu esiholela ekuphileni okulinganiselayo nokwanelisayo. Okubaluleke kakhulu okumele ukukhumbule ukuthi ukwenqaba akusona isenzo sobugovu, kodwa isenzo sokuzinakekela. Unelungelo lokuthi cha, futhi lapho ukwenza ngokwengeziwe, uzozizwa ukhululekile futhi uvumelana nawe.
Zizungeze Ngabantu Abanenhlonipho: Ukubaluleka Kokuhlakulela Ubudlelwano Obunempilo, Obulinganiselayo
Ubudlelwano babantu budlala indima ebalulekile enhlalakahleni yethu engokomzwelo nangokwengqondo. Nokho, akubona bonke ubudlelwano obuzuzisayo, futhi kubalulekile ukuqaphela ukubaluleka kokuzizungezile nabantu abahlonipha imingcele yakho. Kungaba nzima ukunqamula ubuhlobo nabantu abangazihloniphi izidingo zethu noma abafuna ukulawula imizwa yethu, kodwa ukugqashula kulobu budlelwano obunobuthi kubalulekile ukuze silondoloze impilo enhle engokwengqondo nengokomzwelo. Ukukhetha ukuzihlanganisa nabantu abahloniphayo kuyisenzo sokuzinakekela futhi kuyindlela yokuqinisa inhlalakahle yakho.
Kungani kubalulekile ukuba phakathi kwabantu abahloniphekile?
1. Ukuziqinisekisa
Abantu abahloniphekile yilabo abakuqinisekisa njengomuntu ngamunye. Baqaphela futhi bahloniphe imizwa yakho, izidingo zakho kanye nemingcele yakho. Bakukhuthaza ukuba ube nguwe, ngaphandle kokwesaba ukwahlulela. Ukuba phakathi kwabantu abanjalo kuyasiza ekwakheni ukuzethemba futhi kukhuthaze umuzwa wokulondeka ngokomzwelo.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, abantu abangayihloniphi imingcele yakho bangakwenza ungabaze, uzizwe ungaziwa, noma ungezwakali. Lokhu kungadala isimo esingokomzwelo esinobuthi esilimaza ukuzethemba kwakho.
2. Ukulondoloza inhlalakahle yakho engokomzwelo
Uma uzungezwe abantu abahloniphayo, uzizwa usekelwe futhi uqondwa. Lobu budlelwano bukhuthaza indawo lapho ungaveza khona imizwa yakho ngaphandle kokwesaba ukwaliwa noma ukuncishiswa. Ubudlelwano obusekelwe ekuhloniphaneni bukuvumela ukuthi uzizwe ukhululekile ukuba sengozini, ngaphandle kokuthi uhlale uzivikela.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ubuhlobo nabantu abangayihloniphi imingcele yakho bungabangela ukucindezeleka, ukukhathazeka, ngisho nokucindezeleka. Laba bantu bangakuphatha kabi, bakwenze uzizwe unecala, noma bakwenze uzizwe ungakufanelekeli ukuhlonishwa.
3. Ukukhula komuntu siqu
Ubudlelwano obunempilo buyasiza ekukhuleni komuntu siqu. Banikeza indawo ephephile yokuhlola imibono emisha, ukuzibekela inselele futhi ukhule njengomuntu ngamunye. Abantu abahloniphayo bakhuthaza izifiso zakho, bayakweseka ezinhlelweni zakho futhi bakunikeza izeluleko ezakhayo.
Ebudlelwaneni lapho imingcele yakho ingahlonishwa, kunzima ukukhula ngendlela enempilo. Ungase uzithole uphila esimweni sokushuba noma sokukhungatheka, okuvimbela ikhono lakho lokukhula nokuchuma.
Ungabubona kanjani ubudlelwano obunenhlonipho?
Kunezimpawu ezimbalwa ezikusiza ukuthi ubone ukuthi uzungezwe abantu abahloniphayo noma cha:
- Imikhawulo iyahlonishwa
Abantu abahloniphayo bayaqonda ukuthi unezidingo nemingcele. Abazephuli noma bakusunduzele ukuthi wenze izinto ongafuni ukuzenza. Bayazihlonipha izinqumo zakho, ngisho noma bengaqondi ngokugcwele ngaso sonke isikhathi. - Ukulalela okugcwele
Ebudlelwaneni obuhloniphayo, ukulalela kuyasebenza futhi kuqotho. Umuntu uyakulalela ngempela, ngaphandle kokuphazamisa, futhi uzinika isikhathi sokuqonda umbono wakho. Akayinciphisi imizwa yakho noma azame ukuphoqelela i-ajenda yakhe kuwe. - Ukuxhumana okuvulekile nokwethembeka
Ubudlelwano obunenhlonipho bubonakala ngokukhulumisana okucacile nokukhululekile. Zombili izinhlangothi zizizwa ziphephile ukuveza imicabango nemizwa yazo ngaphandle kokwesaba ukwahlulelwa noma ukuziphindiselela. Uma kuphakama inkinga, bobabili abantu babhekana nesimo ngenhlonipho, ngaphandle kokuhlambalaza, ukukhohlisa, noma umuzwa wecala. - Ukusekelana
Umuntu onenhlonipho uyakweseka kumaphrojekthi akho, amaphupho akho kanye nezifiso zakho. Uyakukhuthaza futhi akusize uqhubekele phambili nemigomo yakho ngaphandle kokukuvimba ekuphishekeleni okubalulekile kuwe. Lokhu kusekelwa kuyahambisana: futhi unikeza ukwesekwa kwakho lapho omunye ekudinga. - Ukungabi bikho kokukhohlisa noma ukunukubezwa ngokomzwelo
Ebudlelwaneni obunempilo, ayikho imizamo yokukhohlisa imizwelo, inkohliso, noma ukukhubeka. Ukhululekile ukwenza izinqumo zakho ngaphandle kokwesaba imiphumela emibi ebudlelwaneni. Abantu abahloniphayo abakuphoqi ukuthi wenze izinto ngokuphambene nentando yakho noma udele izidingo zakho ngenxa yabo.
Indlela yokuhlakulela ubudlelwano obunenhlonipho?
- Yiba nguwe futhi ugomele imikhawulo yakho
Ukuze uhehe abantu abahloniphayo, kubalulekile ukuba yiqiniso futhi umele izidingo nemingcele yakho. Uma ungayihloniphi imingcele yakho, ngeke ulindele ukuthi abanye bayihloniphe. Cacisa ngalokho okulindele kwabanye futhi ungesabi ukwenqaba uma kudingeka. - Zizungeze nabantu abanezimiso ezifana nezakho
Bheka abantu ababelana ngezimiso zakho ezibalulekile futhi bahloniphe lokho okubheka njengokubalulekile. Laba bantu kungenzeka baqonde izidingo zakho futhi bahloniphe imingcele yakho. - Gwema ubudlelwano obunobuthi
Ukusika ubuhlobo nabantu abanobuthi kungase kube nzima, kodwa kuyadingeka ukwenza kanjalo ukuze ube nempilo enhle. Ubudlelwano obunobuthi yibo obukuqeda amandla emoyeni, bulimaza ukuzethemba kwakho, futhi obungahloniphi imingcele yakho. Ungalinge uvume icala futhi ungesabi ukuhambela kude nabantu abangakuhloniphi. - Zifundise ukuzihlonipha
Ukuze uhehe ubuhlobo obuhloniphekile, kubalulekile ukuzihlonipha. Lokhu kusho ukuzinakekela, ukuqaphela ukubaluleka kwakho, nokuphatha ngesithunzi. Ngokuzihlonipha, uthumela umyalezo kwabanye wokuthi nawe ufanelwe ukuphathwa ngenhlonipho. - Khuthaza ukubuyisana
Ubudlelwano obunenhlonipho busekelwe ekufaneni. Abachemi ohlangothini olulodwa. Uma unikeza umuntu okuningi, kodwa angakubuyiseli noma angahloniphi izidingo zakho, yisikhathi sokuhlola kabusha lobo budlelwano. Qiniseka ukuthi ubudlelwano bakho bulinganisela futhi buzuzisa ngokufanayo.
Isiphetho: Ukwakha indawo enenhlonipho
Ubudlelwano obunempilo nenhlonipho buyisihluthulelo senhlalakahle yakho. Ngokuzizungezile nabantu abaqondayo nabahlonipha imingcele yakho, udala indawo evumela ukukhula, ukuthula kwangaphakathi, nokwaneliseka komuntu siqu. Yize ungeke ukwazi ukushintsha abanye abantu, ungakhetha ukuthi uchitha nobani isikhathi sakho. Khetha abantu abakuphakamisayo, abakuhloniphayo, nabakusekelayo, futhi uzothola umhlaba wobudlelwano obunomvuzo nobulinganiselayo.
Want to break free from this hold?
The Complete Narcissism Release (PDF book) and the Musc essential oil guide you step by step – at your own pace, at home.
Want to break free from this hold?
The Complete Narcissism Release (PDF book) and the Musc essential oil guide you step by step – at your own pace, at home.
Want to break free from this hold?
The Complete Narcissism Release (PDF book) and the Musc essential oil guide you step by step – at your own pace, at home.
Want to break free from this hold?
The Complete Narcissism Release (PDF book) and the Musc essential oil guide you step by step – at your own pace, at home.