Uhambo lokuthethelela luyinqubo ejulile futhi evame ukuba yinkimbinkimbi, kodwa lungakhulula wena kanye nabanye. Kuhilela ukuqaphela ukuhlupheka, ukwamukela imizwa ehlobene nalokho kuhlupheka, bese unquma ukuyeka ukucasuka nokucasuka.
Nazi izinyathelo ezibalulekile ezivame ukuhlotshaniswa nohambo oluya entethelweni:
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Ukuvuma ubuhlungu: Kubalulekile ukuqaphela nokwamukela ubuhlungu obubangelwa ukungabi nabulungisa noma ukuhlupheka. Lokhu kungafaka phakathi ukuveza imizwa efana nentukuthelo, ukudabuka, noma ukudumala.
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Ukuqonda: Ngezinye izikhathi, ukuqonda izisusa zomunye umuntu, noma ngabe azikuthetheleli ukuziphatha kwakhe, kungavula indlela yokuthethelelwa. Kungaba futhi inqubo yokuzicabangela ngamaphutha noma ukulinganiselwa komuntu.
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Ukukhetha ukuthethelela: Ukuthethelela kuyisinqumo esenziwa ngamabomu. Akusho ukuthethelela okwenzekile, kodwa ukukhetha ukuzikhulula emthwalweni wemizwa ohambisana nokukhubekiswa.
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Ukukhulula ulaka: Ukuthethelela kuvame ukuhilela ukuyeka ulaka, intukuthelo, noma umona. Kuthatha isikhathi nokuzijwayeza ukuzikhulula ngempela kule mizwa.
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Ukuphulukiswa kwangaphakathi: Ukuthethelela kusenza sipholise amanxeba angokomzwelo, sithulise ingqondo, futhi siphinde sibe nomuzwa wokuthula. Ngezinye izikhathi, kuyadingeka ukuzithethelela ukuze siqhubekele phambili.
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Ukubuyisana (ongakukhetha): Ukuthethelela akusho ngempela ukubuyisela ubuhlobo. Ngezinye izikhathi kumane nje kuwukudedela ukuze ukwazi ukuqhubeka.
UCristina unikeza iseshini yomuntu ngamunye ukukusiza uphume ekulawulweni okuhlukumezayo futhi wakhe impilo yakho kabusha.
Ukuqashelwa ubuhlungu
- Ukubaluleka Kokuvuma: Ukuvuma ubuhlungu kubalulekile ekuqaleni inqubo yokuphulukiswa kwangempela. Lokhu kuhilela ukuqaphela imizwa emibi umuntu abhekene nayo, njengentukuthelo, ukudabuka, noma ngisho nemizwa yokukhashelwa. Ukungazinaki lezi mizwa kwandisa ukuhlupheka kwangaphakathi.
- Inqubo yokuqaphela: Lokhu kuhilela ukuzivumela ukuthi uzizwe le mizwa ngaphandle kokwahlulela noma amahloni. Ngezinye izikhathi lokhu kungaba nzima, ikakhulukazi uma ujwayele ukucindezela imizwa yakho. Kodwa-ke, ngokubhekana nobuhlungu lapho ungaqala khona ukubuqonda nokubuphulukisa.
- Umphumela wokuvuma: Ngokuqaphela ubuhlungu, inqubo yokukhululwa iqala. Lesi sinyathelo sisenza sikwazi ukucacisa lokho okuye kwenzeka, ukwamukela iqiniso lokuhlupheka, nokuvula indlela eya emizweni eduduzayo kakhudlwana.
I-Compréhension
- Ukuchaza ukuqonda: Ukuqonda ukoniwa akusho ukuthethelela isenzo, kodwa kunalokho ukufuna ukuqonda izisusa eziyisisekelo. Lokhu kungafaka phakathi ukuqaphela ukuhlupheka, ukwesaba, noma ukungaqondani okuholele omunye umuntu ekwenzeni ngale ndlela.
- Ukuthatha isinyathelo sokubuyela emuva: Ngokuvamile kuyadingeka ukuthatha isinyathelo sokubuyela emuva ukuze ugweme ukunqotshwa imizwa yaleso sikhathi. Lokhu kukuvumela ukuthi ubone izinto ngombono ohlukile futhi uqonde ukuthi ngemuva kwesenzo esibuhlungu kuvame ukuba nesilonda esingapholi kumhlaseli.
- Umthelela ekuthetheleleni: Ukuqonda kwenza kube lula ukunciphisa ubukhali bemizwa emibi, njengentukuthelo nenzondo. Kuyasiza ukubona ukukhubeka njengesenzo esizimele, esivame ukuhlotshaniswa nezimo zangaphandle noma ukulwa kwangaphakathi, kunokuba kube ukuhlaselwa komuntu siqu. Lokhu kulungiselela inhliziyo nengqondo ukuthethelela.
Khetha ukuthethelela
- Ukuthethelela njengesinqumo esiqondayo: Ukuthethelela kuyisenzo sentando, isinqumo esihlosiwe sokuzikhulula ebuhlungwini. Akukhona ukuphika ubuhlungu noma ukuthethelela ukoniwa, kodwa kumayelana nokukhetha ukungachazwa yilesi senzo esibuhlungu. Ukuthethelela kuqala ngesinqumo sangaphakathi: esokuzikhulula emthwalweni ongokomzwelo.
- Ukukhululeka komuntu siqu: Ukukhetha ukuthethelela kusenza sikwazi ukuzihlukanisa nesikhathi esidlule futhi sizikhulule emthwalweni wokucasuka. Lokhu kusinika ithuba lokuthola ukuthula kwangaphakathi, lokuphila esikhathini samanje ngaphandle kokukhunjuzwa njalo ngobuhlungu besikhathi esidlule. Ukuthethelela kusivikela futhi ekubuyiseleni ngengqondo ukulimala okuye kwenzeka.
- Isenzo sesibindi: Ukuthethelela ngokuvamile kudinga isibindi, njengoba kuhilela ukunqoba imizwa enamandla yentukuthelo noma impindiselo. Kodwa-ke, kuyisenzo senkululeko yomuntu siqu: inkululeko yokungavumeli abanye noma izenzakalo zilawule imizwa nezenzo zethu.
Khulula emunyu
- Uhlobo Lobumuncu: Ubumuncu umuzwa ovame ukuvela ngemva kokukhashelwa noma ukungabi nabulungisa. Buqala ukumila lapho sibambelela ebuhlungwini nasekungalungini, okusivimbela ukuba siqhubekele phambili. Ubumuncu bungaba uhlobo lobuthi obungokomzwelo, obuthelela bonke ubudlelwano kanye nokusebenzisana kwesikhathi esizayo.
- Umsebenzi wokukhulula: Ukuzikhulula ebuhlungwini kudinga umsebenzi wangaphakathi. Lokhu kungafaka phakathi ukuzijwayeza ukuyeka, ukuzindla, noma ngisho nemikhuba engokomfanekiso, njengokubhala incwadi engathunyelwanga noma ukwenza izenzo zomusa kuwe. Umgomo ukungabe usavumela ubuhlungwini ukuthi bulawule imicabango noma amandla ethu.
- Izinzuzo zokukhulula ulaka: Lapho ulaka lukhululwa, kwakheka isikhala semizwa emihle, njengozwela, ukuthula, nenjabulo. Ukukhulula ulaka kuyisenzo esingagcini nje ngokukhulula umuntu ekuhluphekeni kwangaphambilini kodwa futhi esivula indlela yokukhanya okukhulu ngokomzwelo kanye nempilo yengqondo ethuthukisiwe.
Ukuphulukiswa kwangaphakathi
- Indima Yokuphulukiswa Kwangaphakathi: Ukuphulukiswa kwangaphakathi yisigaba lapho umuntu ebuyisela khona ibhalansi yakhe yemizwa ngemva kokukhubeka. Kuhilela ukuphulukisa amanxeba abangelwe kanye nokwakha kabusha ukuzethemba kuye, kwabanye, kanye nasempilweni jikelele. Lokhu kuhilela ukuzamukela nokwamukela abanye, kanye nomsebenzi wokwakha kabusha ukuzethemba.
- Imikhuba Yokwelapha: Ukuze welaphe ngaphakathi, kuvame ukusiza ukufuna ukwesekwa kwangaphandle, njengokwelashwa, amaqembu okusekela, noma imikhuba engokomoya. Ukwelapha kungenzeka futhi ngemikhuba yokuzinakekela, ukuphumula, noma ukuzindla komuntu siqu. Kuyinqubo ethatha isikhathi kancane kancane edinga isikhathi nesineke.
- Ukubaluleka kokuzithethelela: Ngezinye izikhathi, kuyadingeka futhi ukuzithethelela. Ukuzithethelela kubalulekile ekwelapheni nasekuqhubekeni phambili. Ukuzithethelela ngamaphutha esikhathi esidlule kukuvumela ukuthi ulahle imizwa yecala noma amahloni angangena futhi alimaze ukuthula kwakho kwangaphakathi.
Ukubuyisana (ongakukhetha)
- Kuyini ukubuyisana? Ukubuyisana kuhilela ukubuyisela ubuhlobo ngemva kokuthethelelana, kodwa akusona isinyathelo esiqinisekisiwe. Kungafaka phakathi ukubuyela ekwethembaneni kanye nokuguquguquka okusha ebuhlotsheni. Kodwa-ke, ukubuyisana akwenzeki noma akufiseleki ngaso sonke isikhathi, njengoba kuncike ezintweni eziningi, okuhlanganisa ukuzimisela kwezinhlangothi zombili kanye nobuqotho bobuhlobo.
- Izindinganiso zokubuyisana: Ukuze ukubuyisana kube nokwenzeka, kumele kuhlangatshezwane nemibandela ethile. Womabili amaqembu kumele azimisele ukuxoxa, avume amaphutha awo, futhi akhe kabusha isisekelo sokwethembana. Uma iqembu elilodwa lingakulungele ukushintsha noma ukuzibophezela kule nqubo, ukubuyisana kuba nzima, uma kungenzeki.
- Ukuthethelela ngaphandle kokubuyisana: Kubalulekile ukugcizelela ukuthi ukuthethelela kungaphelela ngisho nangaphandle kokubuyisana. Ukuthethelela kuqala futhi okubaluleke kakhulu isenzo sokuziphulukisa, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi omunye umuntu usabela kanjani noma isimo sakhe sengqondo. Ngezinye izikhathi, ukuthula kwangaphakathi kutholakala ngokumane udedele ukukhubeka, ngaphandle kokuzama ukulungisa ubudlelwano obungaba yingozi noma obulimazayo.
Kungani kunzima kangaka ukuthethelela ukuhlukumezeka?
Ukuhlukumezeka, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ngokomzimba noma ngokomzwelo, kushiya izibazi ezijulile ezingathinti kuphela umuntu okwamanje, kodwa futhi nobudlelwane babo kanye nokuzibona kwabo esikhathini eside. Ukuthethelela ukuhlukumezeka kuyinselelo enkulu ngenxa yezizathu ezimbalwa, ezihlobene nakho kokubili uhlobo lokuhlukumezeka kanye nendlela okuhlela ngayo kabusha izindlela zomuntu zomzwelo nezokuqonda.
Ukushuba kwemizwa ehlobene nokuhlukumezeka
Umthwalo ongokomzwelo: Ukucindezeleka, ikakhulukazi ukuhlukumezeka kobudlelwano (njengokukhashelwa, ukuhlukumeza, noma ubudlova), kuvame ukuhlotshaniswa nokuhlupheka okukhulu ngokomzwelo, okuhlanganisa intukuthelo, amahloni, ukudabuka, noma ukwesaba. Le mizwa kunzima kakhulu ukuyiphatha nokuyidedela ngoba iqiniswa ukungalungi nobukhulu bomonakalo. Ukuthethelela, kulokhu, kungazwakala njengokukhashelwa kwemizwa yakho noma ukusulwa kobuhlungu obuzwiwe.
Indlela yokusinda: Uma umuntu ehlukumezekile, uhlelo lokuphendula ukucindezeleka (ikakhulukazi impendulo “yokulwa noma yokubaleka”) lusebenza kakhulu. Ubuchopho bubhalisa lesi sigameko esibuhlungu njengosongo oluqhubekayo, futhi imizwa efana nentukuthelo noma ukwesaba ivame ukuba yizimo ezizenzakalelayo. Lokhu kusebenza okungapheli kwesimiso semizwa kwenza kube nzima ukuhlukanisa nemizwa engemihle, okwenza ukuthethelela kube nzima nakakhulu.
Ukulahlekelwa ukulawula nokuvikeleka
Umthelela ekuboneni umhlaba: Ukwethuka kungaphazamisa umbono womuntu ngomhlaba nabanye, ikakhulukazi uma umuntu ebe yisisulu sobudlova, ukuhlukunyezwa, noma ukukhashelwa. Ngemva kokuhlangenwe nakho okubuhlungu, umuntu angase azizwe esengozini, engenamandla, futhi engakwazi ukwethemba labo abamzungezile. Ukuthethelela kuvame ukudinga ukungabaza lo mbono omusha ngomhlaba, okungaba nzima kakhulu. Ukuthethelela kungase kubhekwe njengendlela yokuziveza kabusha ekuhluphekeni, okwenza lesi sinyathelo singabekezeleleki kwabaningi.
Ukwethembana nokuvikeleka: Isisekelo sokuthethelela sisekelwe kakhulu ekwakheni kabusha ukwethembana. Ngemva kokwehlelwa yinhlekelele, lokhu kwethemba kuyanyakaziswa noma kubhujiswe ngokuphelele, futhi ukuthethelela kuba nzima ngoba umuzwa wokulondeka uyaphazamiseka. Umuntu ohlukumezekile uvame ukuzibuza, “Uma ngithethelela, ngizophinde ngilimele?” Lokhu kwesaba ukulimala okuphindaphindiwe kwenza ukuthethelela kube nzima, ngisho nokungenzeki ekuqaleni.
Ubunikazi obuthintwa ukuhlukumezeka
Izinguquko ekuzihlonipheni: Abantu abaye babhekana nosizi, ikakhulukazi ukuhlukunyezwa noma ubudlova, bangase bazizwe benamahloni noma benecala. Le mizwa ingaphambukisa indlela abazibheka ngayo futhi ithinte ikhono labo lokuzithethelela. Usizi lungabangela imizwa yokungafaneleki, okwenza kube nzima ukuthethelela, njengoba umuntu engase azibone elimele ngokungafanele noma engafanele ukuqhubeka nempilo.
Ukungabi Nabulungisa Nokuhlushwa: Umuzwa wokungabi nabulungisa ungenye isithiyo esikhulu ekuthetheleleni. Uma umuntu eyisisulu sokulimala, uba nomuzwa ojulile wokungabi nabulungisa ongaholela ekubeni nomuzwa wesikhathi eside wokuhlushwa. Lo muzwa wokuhlushwa uvimbela umuntu ukuba ahlehle emuva futhi aqonde ukuthi ukuthethelela kuyisenzo sokukhululeka komuntu siqu, ngaphandle kokuvuma ukungabi nabulungisa. Ngakho-ke, isisulu sizizwa sibhajwe emjikelezweni wobuhlungu, ukungaqondi, kanye nentukuthelo, okwenza ukuthethelela kube nzima ekuqaleni.
Inkumbulo ebuhlungu nokuphindaphinda
Inkumbulo yokuhlukumezeka: Abantu abahlukumezekile bavame ukuba nezinkumbulo ezicacile, eziphazamisayo, noma ngisho nokubuyela emuva, kokuhlukumezeka. Lezi zinkumbulo zigcwele imizwa enamandla kanye nemininingwane yezinzwa evuselela ubuhlungu ngayo yonke imicabango noma inkumbulo. Inqubo yokuthethelela iba nzima lapho umuntu ezithola ephila njalo ekuhluphekeni ngalezi zinkumbulo. Ngakho-ke ukuhlukumezeka “kubanjiwe” emzimbeni nasengqondweni, futhi yonke imizamo yokuthethelela ibonakala iphikisana nobukhulu benkumbulo yokuhlukumezeka.
Ugibe lokuphindaphinda: Ngaphezu kwalokho, abanye abantu abahlukunyezwe yizimo eziphuthumayo bangase bazizwe benesidingo sokukhumbula lesi sigameko bengazi bezama ukusilawula noma ukusiqonda. Lokhu kuphindaphinda kokuhlukumezeka ezingqondweni zabo (ngendlela yemicabango ephindaphindayo, amaphupho, noma ukuziphatha okuzilimazayo) kwenza indlela eya ekuthetheleleni ibe nzima kakhulu, njengoba umuntu ehlala ebhekene nomhlukumezi wakhe noma isenzakalo esibuhlungu.
Inqubo yokuthethelela njengokuziphendukela kwemvelo
Ukuthethelela, inqubo ehamba kancane kancane: Ukuthethelela akuyona into eyenzeka ngokushesha, futhi kumuntu oye wabhekana nokulimala, kungathatha isikhathi. Akuyona nje into yokuzikhethela, kodwa inqubo eyinkimbinkimbi yemizwa evame ukudinga ukuhamba ngezigaba eziningana: ukuvuma ubuhlungu, ukuveza intukuthelo, ukuqonda, bese ekugcineni udedela. Uma kukhulunywa ngokulimala, le nqubo ingaba yinde nakakhulu, njengoba ihilela izingqimba ezijulile zobuhlungu nokumelana.
Indima yokuphulukiswa komuntu siqu: Ngaphambi kokuba umuntu akwazi ukuthethelela, ngokuvamile kudingeka adlule enkambisweni yokuphulukiswa. Lokhu kuhlanganisa ukwakha kabusha ubuwena bakhe, ukulawula imizwa yakhe, nokuhlola kabusha izinkolelo zakhe ngezwe nabanye. Le nqubo ingafaka phakathi ukwelashwa, imikhuba yokuphulukiswa ngokomzwelo, kanye nokuzihlola. Uma lokhu kuphulukiswa kwangaphakathi sekuqalile, umuntu angathola kancane kancane ithuba lokuthethelela, hhayi ukuze athethelele isenzo, kodwa ukuze azikhulule ekubambeni kwaso empilweni yakhe.
Ukuhlukumezeka kwenza ukuthethelela kube nzima ikakhulukazi ngoba kuthinta izici ezijulile zomphefumulo womuntu: ubuhlungu bomzwelo, umbono wobulungisa, ukwethenjwa, kanye nobuwena. Ngakho-ke kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuthi ukuthethelela esimweni sokuhlukumezeka kuwuhambo lomuntu siqu, ngokuvamile olude futhi olunzima, oludinga isineke, ukusekelwa kanye nozwelo.
Imithi yokwelapha enqubweni yokuthethelela
Inqubo yokuthethelela ingathuthukiswa ngokujulile futhi isekelwe ngezindlela ezihlukahlukene zokwelapha. Lezi zindlela zokwelapha zisiza ukuhlola imizwa, ukunqoba izithiyo ezingokwengqondo, futhi zikhuthaze ukuphulukiswa. Nakhu okufingqiwe kwezindlela zokwelapha ezivame kakhulu ezisetshenziselwa ukusekela ukuthethelela:
I-Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
Inhloso: I-CBT igxila endleleni imicabango yethu ethonya ngayo imizwa yethu kanye nokuziphatha kwethu. Ngokuphathelene nokuthethelela, kusiza ekuboneni nasekushintsheni imicabango emibi nengenangqondo evuselela inzondo nolaka. Isenza sikwazi ukushintsha amaphethini okucabanga avimbela ukuthethelela, njengokuba yisisulu noma umqondo wokuthi kumelwe “siziphindiselele” ukuze sizizwe singcono.
Indlela: I-CBT ikhuthaza abantu ukuthi bacabange kabusha ngezinkolelo zabo mayelana nokwephulwa komthetho futhi bamukele umbono oqondile nolinganiselayo. Isibonelo, umelaphi angase aqondise isiguli ukuthi siphinde sibhale kabusha izenzo zomunye umuntu noma siqaphele ukucwasa kwengqondo okuphazamisa inqubo yokuthethelela. Lo msebenzi wemicabango usiza ekunciphiseni ukushaja ngokomzwelo okuhlobene nesehlakalo, ngaleyo ndlela kube lula ukuthethelela.
Izinzuzo: Ngokushintsha izinkolelo nemibono, i-CBT iyasiza ekunciphiseni intukuthelo nobuhlungu, ivula indlela yokuthethelelana ngokuthula. Iphinde isize ekuqiniseni ukuqina ngokomzwelo, okubalulekile ekugcineni ukuthula kwangaphakathi ngemva kokuthethelela.
I-Trauma Integration Therapy (EMDR)
Inhloso: I-EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) iyindlela yokwelapha esiza abantu ukucubungula ukuhlukumezeka kanye nemizwa ehlobene nezehlakalo ezibuhlungu, okuhlanganisa nalezo ezivela ekuhlukumezekeni okujulile. Lokhu kwelashwa kuwusizo ikakhulukazi lapho ukuhlukumezeka kushiye izibazi ezingokomzwelo ezihlala isikhathi eside noma ukuhlukumezeka okuqhubekayo.
Indlela: I-EMDR isebenzisa ukunyakaza kwamehlo noma ukushukumisa okubili ukusiza ubuchopho ukuthi buphinde bucubungule izinkumbulo ezibuhlungu ngendlela engaphazamisi kakhulu. Ngokuphinda bucubungule izinkumbulo ezibuhlungu, le ndlela inciphisa ukuqina ngokomzwelo okuhambisanayo, okwenza ukuthethelela kube lula ukukuthola.
Izinzuzo: Ngokuvumela ukucutshungulwa kabusha kwezinto ezibuhlungu, i-EMDR isiza ekunciphiseni izimpawu zokucindezeleka ngemva kwenhlekelele, njengokukhumbula izinto ezenzeka engqondweni kanye nokukhathazeka, okungenza kube nzima ukuthethelela. Ikhuthaza ukukhululwa ngokomzwelo futhi ivumela umuntu ukuba athole ukuthula kwangaphakathi okukhulu, okubalulekile ukuze aqhubekele phambili futhi athethelele.
Ukwelashwa Kweqembu
Inhloso: Ukwelashwa kweqembu kungaba usizo kakhulu esimweni sokuthethelela, njengoba kuvumela abantu ukuthi babelane ngolwazi lwabo nabanye abadlula ezimweni ezifanayo. Lokhu kudala isikhala sokusekelana futhi kukhuthaza uzwela nokuqonda.
Indlela Yokwenza: Ekwelashweni kweqembu, ababambiqhaza baxoxa ngemizwa yabo, ubuhlungu babo, kanye nezinselele zabo ezihlobene nokuthethelela. Umeluleki uqondisa izingxoxo, evumela umuntu ngamunye ukuba aqaphele imizwa yakhe futhi ahlole amasu okuphulukisa. Iqembu lingaphinde linikeze imibono yangaphandle, lisize ekubekeni izimo esimweni futhi linikeze amathuluzi okuqhubekela phambili.
Izinzuzo: Le ndlela isiza abantu bazizwe bengabodwa kakhulu enkambisweni yokuthethelela. Inikeza indawo lapho bangasekelana khona, babelane ngamasu okubhekana nesimo, futhi bathole ugqozi ekuthuthukeni kwabanye. Lokhu kungenza ukuthethelela kungabi yinto esabekayo, ikakhulukazi lapho bebona abanye bezikhulula ngempumelelo ebuhlungwini.
I-Art Therapy
Inhloso: Ukwelapha ngobuciko kuvumela ukuvezwa kwemizwa eyinkimbinkimbi futhi okunzima ukuyisho, njengobuhlungu, intukuthelo, noma ukudideka, okuvame ukuhlotshaniswa nokucasula. Lolu hlobo lokwelapha lusebenzisa amasu okudala, njengokudweba, ukudweba, noma ukubaza, ukuvumela ukuhlola imizwa okukhululekile nokungokomfanekiso.
Indlela Yokwenza: Esikhundleni sokugxila emazwini kuphela, ukwelashwa ngobuciko kukhuthaza ukuvezwa kwemizwa ngaphandle kwezwi. Isibonelo, umuntu angamenywa ukuba adale umsebenzi wobuciko omelela ukuhlupheka kwakhe noma izingxabano zangaphakathi. Lokhu kuvezwa kokudala kusiza ukukhipha imizwa ngaphandle futhi kuyibone ngombono ohlukile, okungenza inqubo yokuthethelela ibe lula.
Izinzuzo: Ubuciko buvumela ukukhululwa kwemizwa efihliwe ngendlela engasongeli, okwenza ulwazi lokwelapha lutholakale kalula futhi lungaxabani kangako. Buphinde bunikeze i-catharsis, inqubo yokuhlanza ngokomzwelo, futhi bungasiza ekunciphiseni ubuhlungu obukhulu obuhambisana nokuhlaselwa.
Ukuzindla kanye Nokuqonda
Inhloso: Imikhuba yokuzindla nokuqaphela ihlose ukuhlakulela isikhathi samanje nokuqaphela imicabango ngaphandle kokwahlulela. Ziwusizo kakhulu enkambisweni yokuthethelela, njengoba zisiza ekuhlukaniseni imicabango emibi ephindaphindwayo futhi zigxile ekuthuleni kwangaphakathi.
Indlela Yokwenza: Ukuqaphela kukhuthaza ukuqaphela imizwa ehlobene nokucasulwa, njengentukuthelo noma ukudabuka, ngaphandle kokwahlulela. Esikhundleni sokusabela ngokuphamazela, umuntu ufunda ukuqaphela le mizwa, ayamukele, bese eyidedela idlule. Lokhu kudala ibanga elinempilo phakathi kwemizwa nokusabela, okwenza kube lula ukuyidedela.
Izinzuzo: Ngokuhlakulela isimo sokuzola nokwamukela, ukuzindla nokuqaphela kusiza ekunciphiseni ukuqina kwemizwa emibi ehlobene nokuhlupheka. Lokhu kuvumela ukubekezelela ubuhlungu okukhulu futhi kukhuthaza ukuthethelela okunokuthula, ngaphandle kokunqotshwa yisikhathi esidlule.
I-Narrative Therapy
Inhloso: Ukwelapha ngokulandisa kusiza ukulungisa kabusha umlando womuntu siqu, okuhlanganisa nezindaba ezihlobene nobuhlungu noma ukucasulwa. Le ndlela igxile endleleni esakha ngayo incazelo ngokuhlangenwe nakho kwethu ngezindaba esizitshela zona.
Indlela Yokwenza: Umgomo wokwelapha ngezindaba ukusiza abantu ukuthi baphinde babuke izindaba zabo zomuntu siqu ngombono oqondile nowakhayo. Esikhundleni sokuzibona njengezisulu zesenzo sobugebengu, abantu bangachaza kabusha indaba yabo ukuze ifake izici zamandla, ukuphulukiswa, kanye nokuguqulwa. Lokhu kubavumela ukuthi bashintshe umbono wabo ngesikhubekiso futhi bakhe isikhala sokuthethelela.
Izinzuzo:
Ukwelapha okulandisayo kusiza ekukhipheni ubunjalo bomuntu ekuhluphekeni kanye nokuzikhulula ekubambeni izenzakalo zesikhathi esidlule ezingaba nazo ekuphileni kwamanje. Ngokuphinda abhale indaba yakhe, umuntu angadala ukulandisa okunokuthula nokunamandla, okulungele ukuthethelelwa kanye nokwelapha.
I-EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques)
Inhloso: I-EFT, noma Amasu Enkululeko Yemizwa, iyindlela yokwelapha ehlanganisa izimiso zengqondo yokuqonda kanye nokukhuthaza ngokomzimba (ukuthinta) ukuze kukhululwe ukuvinjelwa ngokomzwelo futhi kuncishiswe ubukhali bemizwa emibi. Le ndlela ivame ukusetshenziswa ukuphatha ukucindezeleka, ubuhlungu ngokomzwelo, kanye nokukhuthaza ukuthethelela ngokukhulula imizwa yentukuthelo, inzondo, nobuhlungu.
Indlela: I-EFT isekelwe emcabangweni wokuthi imizwa emibi, njengaleyo ehlotshaniswa nokuhlaselwa, ingabangelwa ukungalingani kwamandla emzimbeni. Ngesikhathi seseshini, umelaphi uqondisa iklayenti ukuthi lithinte kancane amaphuzu athile emzimbeni (ngokuvamile abizwa ngokuthi “amaphuzu e-meridian”) ngenkathi liphinda iziqinisekiso ezinhle ezihlobene nesigameko esibuhlungu noma ukuhlupheka. Le nqubo isiza ukunciphisa ukuqina kwemizwa emibi ngokulinganisela kabusha amandla omzimba nokushintsha indlela ubuchopho obucubungula ngayo inkumbulo ebuhlungu.
Izinzuzo: I-EFT isiza ukukhulula ukucindezeleka ngokomzwelo futhi inciphise intukuthelo ngokuvuselela izimpendulo zemizwa ezihlobene nokucasulwa. Isiza ukuqeda imizwa ekhungathekisayo ngokubuyisela ukuthula kwangaphakathi. Elinye lamandla amakhulu e-EFT yikhono layo lokunikeza imiphumela esheshayo nephumelelayo, ngendlela ewusizo engasetshenziswa ngokuzimela, ekhaya, noma endaweni yokwelapha. Ngokusiza ekunciphiseni ukuqina kwemizwa engemihle, i-EFT ikhuthaza indawo evumela ukuthethelela, njengoba ivumela abantu ukuthi babhekane nobuhlungu bemizwa ngaphandle kokunqotshwa yibo.
Ukusetshenziswa ekuthetheleleni: I-EFT ingaba usizo kakhulu ekunciphiseni ukuhlupheka okukhulu okubangelwa ukoniwa, ngaleyo ndlela yenze inqubo yokuthethelela ifinyeleleke kalula. Ngokunciphisa ukukhathazeka, intukuthelo, noma ukudabuka okuhambisana nokuhlangenwe nakho okubuhlungu, umuntu uhlonyiswe kangcono ukuqhubekela phambili ekuthetheleleni ngaphandle kokulawulwa yimizwa emibi. Ngakho-ke i-EFT ivumela umuntu ukuthi “avule” ngokomzwelo, idale isikhala lapho ukuthethelela kungabonakala khona ngokwemvelo nangokushelelayo.
I-Ho’oponopono njengendlela yokwelapha ekuxoleleni
Le I-Ho’oponopono umkhuba wasendulo waseHawaii wokuphulukisa nokubuyisana osekelwe embonweni wokuthi sonke sixhumene nokuthi izingxabano, ubuhlungu, noma ukungabi nabulungisa esibhekana nakho kuyizibonakaliso zemicabango nezinkolelo ezingazi lutho. Igama elithi “Ho’oponopono” ngokwezwi nezwi lisho “ukulungisa iphutha” noma “ukubuyisela ukuthula.” Lo mkhuba unikeza uhlaka olunamandla lokuthethelela, ikakhulukazi kulabo abafuna ukwelapha amanxeba ajulile angokomzwelo nokuzikhulula ekuhluphekeni.
Izimiso ze-Ho’oponopono
Isibopho somuntu siqu
I-Ho’oponopono isekelwe embonweni wokuthi sinesibopho sayo yonke into eyenzekayo ezimpilweni zethu, okuhlanganisa izingxabano nokuhlupheka esibhekana nakho. Ngokwale filosofi, akukhona ukusola omunye ngobuhlungu obuzwiwayo, kodwa mayelana nokuqaphela ukuthi, ngandlela thize, sinesabelo somthwalo wemfanelo kulesi simo. Lokhu akusho ukuthi sithethelela umonakalo owenziwe, kodwa kunalokho ukuthi sikhetha ukuzibophezela ekuphulukiseni kwethu.
Imishwana emine ye-Ho’oponopono
Umkhuba we-Ho’oponopono uhlanganisa ukuphinda imisho emine elula kodwa enamandla ehlose ukuphulukisa nokubuyisela ukuzwana ebudlelwaneni:
- “Ngiyaxolisa” – Ukuvuma ukuhlupheka, indlela yokwamukela ukuthi okuthile kubangele ukulimala, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kuwe noma komunye umuntu.
- “Ngixolele” – Isicelo sokuxolelwa, hhayi komunye umuntu kuphela, kodwa nakuwe uqobo, ngokuba negalelo kulesi simo.
- “Ngiyakuthanda” – Isimemezelo sothando olungenamibandela, esihlose ukuqeda izithiyo zemizwa nokubuyisela ukuthula kwangaphakathi.
- “Ngiyabonga” – Ukubonga wena, omunye umuntu, kanye nesimo, ngethuba lokuphulukiswa nokuguquka.
Le mishwana emine iphindwa ngokucabangela, ngenhloso yokukhulula imizwa engemihle, ukususa izinkumbulo ezingokomzwelo, nokubuyisela ukuthula kwangaphakathi.
I-Ho’oponopono Ikugqugquzela Kanjani Ukuthethelela
Ukuhlukana kwemizwelo
Obunye bobunzima obukhulu enqubweni yokuthethelela ukungakwazi ukuzihlukanisa nemizwa engemihle ehambisana nokuhlupheka. I-Ho’oponopono, ngokukhuthaza abantu ukuthi bazibophezele ngemizwa yabo futhi bakhulule ukwahlulela, ibasiza ukuthi bahlukane nokuhlukunyezwa. Kunokuba agxile kumoni noma ukungalungi, udokotela uyamenywa ukuba agxile ekwelapheni kwakhe, okwenza ukuthethelelwa kufinyeleleke kalula.
Ukuhlanzwa kwezinkumbulo ezingokomzwelo
Ngokuka-Ho’oponopono, sonke sinezinkumbulo zezenzakalo ezedlule eziqhubeka nokuba nomthelela esikhathini sethu samanje. Lezi zinkumbulo zingabonakala njengezingxabano, amagqubu noma amagqubu. Umkhuba uhilela ukususa lezi zinkumbulo usebenzisa imisho emine ukuze ukhulule imizwa engemihle. Ngokuphinda le misho, umuntu uvumela ingqondo yakhe engazi lutho ukuba isuse ubuhlungu nemicabango emibi ehambisana necala, ngaleyo ndlela kube lula ukuthethelelwa.
Ukuguqulwa komuntu siqu
U-Ho’oponopono ukhuthaza ukubona ukungqubuzana hhayi njengesiqalekiso, kodwa njengethuba lokukhula komuntu siqu. Ngokubona ukuthi sinamandla okuguqula umbono wethu kanye nezimpendulo ezingokomzwelo, lo mkhuba uguqula inqubo yokuthethelela ibe yithuba lokuphulukiswa kwangaphakathi. Lokhu kudala umuzwa wamandla omuntu siqu kanye nokuzimela ekuthetheleleni, siqaphela ukuthi singakhetha ukukhulula ukuhlupheka kwethu futhi sibuyisele ukuzwana.
Izinzuzo ze-Ho’oponopono ekuthetheleleni
Ukuphulukiswa komphefumulo
I-Ho’oponopono akuyona nje indlela yokuthethelela abanye, kodwa futhi iyindlela yokuzikhulula ebuhlungwini, umuzwa wecala kanye nehlazo umuntu avame ukuthwala ngalo. Ngokuzijwayeza le misho emine, umuntu uqala ukuzikhulula ekubanjweni kwemizwelo yakhe emibi futhi abuyisele isimo sokuthula kwangaphakathi nokucaca.
Ukubuyisana wena nabanye
I-Ho’oponopono isiza ukuphulukisa hhayi kuphela ubudlelwano nabanye, kodwa futhi nobudlelwano esinabo nathi ngokwethu. Ngokuthethelela nokukhulula ukucasuka, umuntu udala isikhala sokubuyisana nokubuyisela ubudlelwano, kungaba umndeni, abangani noma naye uqobo. Lokhu kungaholela ekuvulelekeni okukhulu, uthando olungenamibandela kanye nokuzwana kubo bonke ubudlelwano.
Ukukhululwa komthwalo ongokomzwelo
Imizwelo engemihle, njengentukuthelo, intukuthelo, noma amagqubu, iwumthwalo ongokomzwelo ongaholela ekucindezelekeni ngokomzimba nangokwengqondo. I-Ho’oponopono isiza ekunciphiseni lo mthwalo ngokususa izinkumbulo zemizwa ezihlobene nale mizwelo, okuvumela ukukhanya okukhulu nokuthula enhliziyweni nasengqondweni.
Ukuhlanganisa i-Ho’oponopono empilweni yansuku zonke
Ukuzijwayeza nsuku zonke
Le Ho’oponopono ingahlanganiswa empilweni yansuku zonke ngendlela elula. Noma nini lapho uzwa intukuthelo, ubuhlungu, noma ukukhungatheka, ungasebenzisa imishwana emine ukuzolisa ingqondo yakho futhi uphinde uxhumane nokuthula kwangaphakathi. Lo mkhuba usiza ukugcina isimo sokulinganisela, ngisho nangezikhathi zokucindezeleka noma izingxabano.
Indlela esebenzayo yokuthethelela
Esikhundleni sokulinda izingxabano noma amacala ukuthi axazululwe ngomunye, i-Ho’oponopono ikuvumela ukuthi ube umlingisi ekwelapheni kwakho. Lokhu kuguqula ukuthethelela kube isenzo esisheshayo, esikuvumela ukuthi ungavumeli amagqubu adlule noma ubuhlungu bungcolise impilo yakho yamanje.
Ivesi leBhayibheli mayelana nokuthethelela
Ukuthethelela kuphinde kube yindikimba ewumgogodla eBhayibhelini, futhi eziningana amavesi mayelana nokuthethelela bayakhuluma ngakho. Nanka amavesi eBhayibheli akhuluma ngokuthethelela:
-
Mathewu 6:14-15:
“Ngokuba uma nithethelela abantu iziphambeko zabo, noYihlo osezulwini uyakunithethelela nani; kepha uma ningathetheleli abantu iziphambeko zenu, noYihlo akayikunithethelela iziphambeko zenu. »
Leli vesi ligcizelela ukubaluleka kokuthethelela abanye ukuze bathole intethelelo kaNkulunkulu.
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Kwabase-Efesu 4:32:
“Yibani nomusa komunye nomunye, nihawukele, nithethelelane, njengoba nje noNkulunkulu anithethelela ngoKristu. »
Leli vesi ligcizelela isidingo sokuthethelelana, silandela isibonelo sokuthethelela uNkulunkulu asinikeza kona ngoJesu Kristu.
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KwabaseKolose 3:13:
“Bekezelanani, nithethelelane, uma omunye wenu enensolo ngomunye; njengalokhu uKristu anithethelela, zithetheleleni. »
Lesi siqephu sigcizelela isidingo sokuthethelela njengoba uNkulunkulu esithethelele kuKristu.
-
Luka 17:3-4:
“Uma umfowenu ona, mkhuze; uma ephenduka, mthethelele. Futhi uma ona kuwe kasikhombisa ngosuku, futhi ephendukela kuwe kasikhombisa, futhi ethi, ‘Ngiyaphenduka,’ womthethelela. »
Lapha uJesu ufundisa ukubaluleka kokuthethelela labo abaphendukayo, ngisho nangokuphindaphindiwe.
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Mathewu 18:21-22:
“Khona uPetru weza kuye, wathi: “Nkosi, umfowethu uyakungona kangaki, ngimthethelela na? Kuze kube kasikhombisa?’ UJesu wathi kuye: Angisho kuwe ukuthi, Kuze kube kasikhombisa, kodwa kuze kube kamashumi ayisikhombisa aphindwe kasikhombisa. »
Leli vesi libonisa ukuthi intethelelo kufanele inikezwe ngaphandle komkhawulo, ifanekisela ukuthethelelwa okungenamibandela.
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UMarku 11:25:
“Futhi nxa nimi nikhuleka, thethelelani noma ubani ninamagqubu naye, ukuze uYihlo osezulwini anithethelele iziphambeko zenu. »
Leli vesi lisikhumbuza ukuthi ukuthethelela kubalulekile ukuze silondoloze ubuhlobo obuhle noNkulunkulu, ikakhulukazi ngomthandazo.
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1 Johane 1:9:
“Uma sizivuma izono zethu, uthembekile futhi ulungile ukuba asithethelele izono zethu futhi asihlanze kukho konke ukungalungi. »
Leli vesi likhuluma ngentethelelo uNkulunkulu asinika yona uma siphenduka ngeqiniso ezonweni zethu.
Surahs on Ukuthethelela
Ukuthethelela kuyindikimba ebalulekile eQuran, futhi eziningana Surahs on Ukuthethelela namavesi axoxa ngale ndaba. Nawa ama-surah namavesi agcizelela ukuthethelela:
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ISurah Al-A’raf (7:199):
“Thatha okungokwakho ngobumnene, uyale okuhle, futhi ugweme abangenalwazi. »
Leli vesi lisikhuthaza ukuba sithethelele futhi sibe nesimo sengqondo esiqondile mayelana nokoniwa.
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ISurah Ash-Shura (42:40):
“Ukuphindiselwa ngesenzo esibi kuyisenzo esibi esifanayo. Kodwa noma ubani othethelela futhi abuyisane, umvuzo wakhe ukuAllah. Akabathandi abangalungile. »
Leli vesi ligqamisa ukuthethelela njengesenzo esihle esingavuzwa nguAllah.
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ISurah Al-Imran (3:134):
“Labo abachitha ebunzimeni nasempumelelweni, nalabo ababamba intukuthelo yabo futhi bathethelele abantu – uAllah Uthanda abenza okuhle. »
Leli vesi libiza ukulawula intukuthelo yomuntu nokuthethelela abanye njengemfanelo eyaziswa nguAllah.
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ISurah Al-Furqan (25:63):
“Futhi izinceku zoMusa kakhulu yilabo abahamba emhlabeni ngokuzithoba, futhi lapho abangenalwazi bekhuluma nabo, bathi: ‘Ukuthula.’ »
Lokhu kukhombisa ukubaluleka kokuphendula ukoniwa ngobumnene nangokuthethelela.
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I-Surah At-Tawba (9:71):
“Amakholwa angamadlelandawonye. Bayala okulungile futhi benqabela okubi. Benza umkhuleko, banikeze i-zakat futhi balalele uAllah nesiThunywa saKhe. Laba yilabo uAllah Azobanika umusa waKhe. »
Leli vesi ligcizelela ukubambisana phakathi kwamakholwa nokubaluleka kwesihe nokuthethelela.
Izingcaphuno mayelana nokuthethelela
Nalu uhlu olubanzi lwezingcaphuno ezingu-30 mayelana nokuthethelela ezihlanganisa imibono eyahlukene ngamandla alesi senzo:
- “Ukuxolela akusikho okomunye, kungokwakho. »- Brene Brown
- “Ukuthethelela kuwukhiye ovula iminyango yamagqubu namaketango omunyu. »- UCorrie Ten Boom
- “Ukuxolela kuyisenzo sokukhulula isiboshwa, leso siboshwa nguwe.” »- Lewis B. Smedes
- “Ukuthethelela akukona ukukhohlwa. Ukukhumbula ngaphandle kokukulimaza. »-Paulo Coelho
- “Ukuthethelela akushintshi okwedlule, kodwa kwandisa ikusasa.” »- UPaul Boese
- “Intethelelo yiphunga eliphuma ku-violet esithendeni eliwuchoboza. »- UMark Twain
- “Ukukhulula amagqubu kufana nokugqabula amaketanga. »- Mahatma Gandhi
- “Ukuthethelela kuwukukhetha, kodwa futhi kungaba isipho esikhulu kunazo zonke ongazinika sona. »- Louise L. Hay
- “Ukukhohlwa okwedlule yisimo sokuxolelana. »- UJean-Paul Sartre
- “Ukuxolela akwenzelwa abanye, uzenzela yena. »- Maya Angelou
- “Ukuxolela kuwuphawu lwabanamandla. »- Mahatma Gandhi
- “Othethelelayo uyawukhulula umphefumulo wakhe. »- Nelson Mandela
- “Ukuthethelela kuwuhlobo olukhulu lwenkululeko. »- TD Jakes
- “Ungathetheleli ukuthandwa, kodwa ukukhululeka. »- Ongaziwa
- “Ukuxolela kuwukunikeza ithuba lesibili omunye nakuwe uqobo. »- Ongaziwa
- “Ukuthethelela akusho ukuthethelela lokho okungenazaba. Lokhu kusho ukuthi sikhetha ukukhulula omunye kanye nathi. »- Desmond Tutu
- “Ukuthethelela kungenye yezinto ezinhle kakhulu ongayenza, hhayi nje kwabanye, kodwa nakuwe. »- Ongaziwa
- “Ukuthethelela kuwukuzikhulula kulokho okusicindezelayo. »- Ongaziwa
- “Uma uthethelela, uyaziphilisa. Lapho udedela, uba namandla. »- Ongaziwa
- “Intethelelo yeqiniso ayidingi ukuthethelelwa ngesenzo somunye, kodwa ukuphika ukuziphindiselela. »- Mahatma Gandhi
- “Ukuthethelela kuyisipho esizipha sona ngaphezu kwakho konke. »- Ongaziwa
- “Ukuxolela kuyisenzo sesibindi, hhayi ubuthakathaka. »- Ongaziwa
- “Ukuthethelela akukususi ukungalungi, kodwa kwenza inhliziyo ibe lula. »- Ongaziwa
- “Ukuthethelela kuwubuciko bokulungisa isilonda ngaphandle kokusisula isibazi.” »- Ongaziwa
- “Intethelelo ayinikelwa ngenxa yozwelo, inikelwa ukuphila kahle komphefumulo. »- Ongaziwa
- “Amanxeba enhliziyo alulama kuphela ngokuthethelelwa. »- Ongaziwa
- “Ukuzikhulula emthwalweni wesikhathi esedlule kuqala ngokuxolela. »- Ongaziwa
- “Ukuthethelela kuwuhlobo lokuthula oluqala ngaphakathi kwethu. »- Ongaziwa
- “Ukuxolela kuyisinyathelo sokuqala ekwelapheni amanxeba omphefumulo. »- Ongaziwa
- “Ukuxolela kungamandla angaphakathi, akuncikile komunye kodwa kusinqumo sethu sokuqhubekela phambili. »- Ongaziwa
Izinombolo zocingo ezithi 17, 3114 no-3919 ezishiwo kuleli khasi zisebenza ezinsizeni zaseFrance.
Want to break free from this hold?
The Complete Narcissism Release (PDF book) and the Musc essential oil guide you step by step – at your own pace, at home.
Want to break free from this hold?
The Complete Narcissism Release (PDF book) and the Musc essential oil guide you step by step – at your own pace, at home.
Want to break free from this hold?
The Complete Narcissism Release (PDF book) and the Musc essential oil guide you step by step – at your own pace, at home.
Want to break free from this hold?
The Complete Narcissism Release (PDF book) and the Musc essential oil guide you step by step – at your own pace, at home.