Ukuziphatha okuzithobayo kwe-PN: ukuqonda izindlela zayo

Isimo sengqondo sokuzithoba singesinye sezikhali eziyintandokazi zomphendukezeli ebudlelwaneni bakhe. Lokhu kuziphatha okudelelayo nokuqhoshayo kuhloswe ukululaza umlingani wakhe nokusungula ukubusa kwakhe ngokwengqondo. Ukuqonda ukusebenza kwalokhu kuzithoba kungasiza izisulu zesifazane ziqonde kangcono ubuthi obuguquguqukayo lapho zivaleleke khona. Kulesi sihloko sizohlola ukuziphatha okuzithobayo kwe-narcissistic pervert.

I-Condescension, ithuluzi lokugcina lokukhohlisa

I-narcissistic pervert isebenzisa ukuzithoba njengethuluzi elinamandla lokukhohlisa nokulawula uzakwethu. Lesi simo sengqondo sokudelela simvumela ukuthi:

• Ukucekela phansi ukuzethemba komuntu ohlukunyeziwe
• Dala umuzwa wokungabi nalutho kuye
• Ukugcina ukungalingani kwamandla ebudlelwaneni
• Qinisekisa ukugxeka kwakho nokulawula ngokweqile

Ukuzithoba kuzibonakalisa ngamazwi alulazayo, iphimbo elifana nelikababa, ukubukeka okudelelayo noma ngisho nokububula kokucasuka. Ngakho-ke i-narcissistic pervert yenza umlingani wakhe aqonde ukuthi akakwazi, akazi noma akavuthiwe emehlweni akhe. Lesi simo sengqondo esihlala njalo sidala isimo esingokomzwelo esinobuthi lapho isisulu sizizwa sahlulelwe njalo futhi singenele.

Izimpande ezingokwengqondo zesimo sengqondo sokuzithoba

Isidingo esiyimpoqo somphendukezeli we-narcissistic sokuzehlisa sithola umsuka wako ebuthakathakeni bakhe bengqondo:

• Umuzwa ogqitshwe ngokujulile wokuzizwa uphansi
• a ukuzihlonipha engazinzile afuna ukuyinxephezela
• Isidingo se-pathological sokulawula nokubusa
• Ukungakwazi ukuzwela nokubheka abanye njengabalinganayo

Okuxakayo, ngakho-ke ukungazethembi kwakhe ukuthi i-narcissistic ihlanekezela kumlingani wakhe ngesimo sakhe sengqondo sokwedelela. Ngokuhlala emlulaza, uzama ukuzenza aqiniseke ukuthi uphakeme kunaye. Lokhu kuguquguquka kwengqondo okuyinkimbinkimbi kuchaza ukuthi kungani ukuziphatha kokuzithoba kugxilile futhi kunzima ukukushintsha. Umphendukezeli we-narcissistic akakwazi ukubona ubungozi bakhe, okumphusha ukuthi aqhubekisele phambili lo mjikelezo wokwehlisa inani lomunye.

Izinhlobo ezahlukene zokuziphatha kokuzithoba ebuhlotsheni

Isimo sengqondo sokuzithoba somuntu ophendukezela i-narcissistic singathatha izinhlobo eziningi nsuku zonke:

Ukukhuliswa kozakwethu

I-narcissistic pervert iphatha umlingani wayo njengengane engakwazi ukwenza izinqumo noma ukulawula impilo yayo yedwa. Usebenzisa iphimbo lobaba kanye nezinkulumo ezikhulisa izingane. Lokhu kukhuliswa kwezingane kungase kubonakale ezimweni ezihlukahlukene njengokukhethwa kwezingubo zokugqoka, ukuphathwa kwesabelomali noma izinqumo zobungcweti. Umgomo uwukugcina uzakwethu esesimweni sokuncika nokungavikeleki.

Ukwehliswa kobuhlakani

Ubuza ngokuhlelekile ulwazi namakhono obuhlakani bomlingani wakhe. Uzenza uchwepheshe kuzo zonke izifundo futhi uhlekise ngemibono yakhe. Lokhu kwehla kobuhlakani kungadlulela kuzo zonke izindawo, ngisho nalezo lapho uzakwethu enolwazi lwangempela. Ngakho-ke umphendukezeli we-narcissistic ufuna ukunyakazisa ukuzethemba kwesisulu sakhe emakhonweni akhe okuqonda.

Ukudelela izithakazelo zomunye nomunye

Konke okuthakazelisayo noma okuthakazelisayo umlingani wakhe kubhekwa njengokungelutho, okuyisiwula, noma okungafanele ukunakwa. Ululaza izinto azithandayo, okuthandwa yizo, kanye nezifiso zakhe. Lokhu kunganaki njalo izintshisekelo zomlingani wakhe kuhlose ukumncisha imithombo yokwaneliseka komuntu siqu ngaphandle kobudlelwano. Lokhu kuqinisa ukuzihlukanisa kanye… ukuncika okuthintekayo womuntu ohlukunyeziwe.

Isimo sengqondo sokuphakama kokuziphatha

Umuntu ohlanekezela u-narcissistic uziveza njengongasoleki futhi wahlulela kabi izinyathelo ezincane zomlingani wakhe. Uthatha isimo sokuziphatha. Lokhu kuzisholo kokuziphatha okuphakeme kumvumela ukuba athethelele ukulawula kwakhe nokugxeka kwakhe okungapheli. Uzenza umnakekeli wobuhle, kuyilapho ezivumela ukuba aziphathe ngendlela engafanele akwehlisa noma akuphike.

Ukuzithoba mayelana nokubukeka komzimba

Ukhuluma amazwi amaningi angajabulisi ngomzimba womlingani wakhe, okokugqoka noma ukuziphatha, kuyilapho eziveza njengesibonelo sokucwengwa. Lokhu kugxekwa okungapheli kokubukeka kuhloselwe ukubukela phansi ukuzethemba komuntu ohlukunyeziwe futhi kubenze babe sengozini yokukhohliswa. I-narcissistic pervert ingashintshana phakathi kokuncoma ngokweqile nokugxeka okunokhahlo, igcine umlingani wakhe esesimweni sokungavikeleki unomphela.

Izinqubo zengqondo ngemuva kokuziphatha kokuzithoba

Izindlela ezimbalwa zokwenza ngokwengqondo zichaza ukuthi kungani isimo sengqondo sokuzehlisa se-narcissistic pervert sibe nomthelela onjalo kuzisulu zakhe:

Isiprofetho esizigcwalisayo

Ngokuphathwa njengomuntu ongafaneleki, isisulu sigcina sesithatha imikhuba eqinisekisa lesi sithombe esibi ngaye. Lesi senzakalo esingokwengqondo, esaziwa ngokuthi isiprofetho esizigcwalisayo, siqinisa umjikelezo wokuzehlisa. Isisulu, ngokungazi, sivumelana nokulindelwe okungekuhle kwe-narcissistic pervert, okumnika izinhlamvu ezengeziwe ukuze aqhubeke nokuziphatha kwakhe okudelelayo.

I-Imposter syndrome

Umuntu ohlukunyeziwe uba nomuzwa wokuthi akakufanelekeli impumelelo yakhe noma isikhundla sakhe emphakathini. Ngokunembile, i impostor syndrome. Uhlala ngokwesaba njalo “ukumbulwa.” Lesi sifo se-imposter syndrome sibhebhezelwa amazwi okuzibukela njalo ephenduki le-narcissistic. Ngisho nalapho sibhekene nobufakazi obuqondile bamakhono abo, isisulu siyangabaza futhi impumelelo yaso ibangelwa yinhlanhla noma izici zangaphandle.

I-cognitive dissonance

Umehluko phakathi kwesithombe esibi esivezwa ngumhlukumezi oqhoshayo kanye namakhono angempela esisulu udala ukucindezeleka kwengqondo okubuhlungu. i-cognitive dissonance Lokhu kungenza isisulu singabaze umbono waso ngeqiniso. Bangase bagcine befaka ukugxekwa komhlukumezi oziqhenyayo ngaphakathi, noma ngabe lokhu kuphikisana ngokusobala nezinto azenzile ngempela.

Wafunda ukungabi namandla

Ebhekene nokungenzeki kokwanelisa izimfuno ze-narcissistic pervert, isisulu sigcina siyeke wonke umzamo futhi sicwila ekungenzini lutho. Lesi simo sokungabi nalusizo esifundweni sibonakala ngomuzwa wokwesula nokungakwazi ukuguqula isimo somuntu. Isisulu siyayeka ukumelana nokuziphatha okuhlukumezayo, siqiniseka ukuthi izenzo zaso ngeke zibe nomthelela omuhle.

Isixhumanisi phakathi kokuzithoba nezinye izinhlobo zokuhlukumeza

Isimo sengqondo sokuzehlisa somuntu ophendukezela i-narcissistic siyingxenye yephethini ebanzi yokuhlukumeza ngokwengqondo. Kuvame ukuhlotshaniswa nokunye ukuziphatha okunobuthi:

• Ukukhanyisa igesi noma ukukhwabanisa kwengqondo
• Ukuthuka nokululazwa ngamazwi
• Ukulawula nokugada ngokweqile
• Ukudinwa nokuxhashazwa
• Ukungathembeki ngokomzwelo

I-Condescension isebenza njengentambo evamile exhumanisa lezi zinhlobo ezahlukene zokuhlukumeza futhi iziqinise. Isibonelo, ukukhanya kwegesi, okuhlanganisa ukwenza isisulu singabaze umbono waso weqiniso, ngokuvamile kuhambisana namazwi alulazayo mayelana nempilo yaso yengqondo noma inkumbulo. Ngokunjalo, ukulawula ngokweqile kuthethelelwa isimo sengqondo sokubukela phansi ikhono lesisulu lokulawula ukuphila kwakhe ngokuzimela.

Ukuvela kokuziphatha okuzithobayo kwe-narcissistic pervert phakathi nobudlelwano

Isimo sengqondo sokuzithoba se-narcissistic pervert sivame ukuba sibi ngokuhamba kwesikhathi:

1. Ekuqaleni kobudlelwane, bucashile futhi bumbozwe izimpawu zothando. I-narcissistic pervert ingaba ebukekayo futhi inake, ngenkathi ishelela emazwini alulazayo ngaphansi kokucasha kwamahlaya noma iseluleko esinomusa.
2. Ikhula kancane kancane njengoba ithonya lithatha. Ukugxeka kuba njalo futhi kucace kakhulu. I-narcissistic pervert iqala ukungabaza ngokukhululekile amakhono omlingani wakhe.
3. Iba sobala kakhulu futhi inonya uma isisulu sivaleleke. Ukuzithoba kuboniswa ngaphandle kokuzithiba, ngokuvamile kuhambisana nokuhlambalaza nokululazwa emphakathini.
4. Ifinyelela isiqongo sayo phakathi nezigaba zokwehla okukhulu. Lezi zigaba zingashintshana nezikhathi zokuphumula, zidale umjikelezo wokuhlukumeza ngokomzwelo othunaza isisulu ngokujulile.

Lokhu kukhula kancane kancane kuchaza ukuthi kungani izisulu eziningi ziqaphela inkinga sekwephuzile. Imvelo ecashile yokuzithoba, eyakha kancane kancane, yenza kube nzima ukukhomba lokhu kuziphatha njengendlela yokuhlukumeza ngokwengqondo.

Izinkomba Zokuziphatha Okululaza

• Archer, J., & Coyne, S. M. (2005). Ukubuyekezwa okudidiyelwe kobudlova obungaqondile, obuhlobene, kanye nomphakathi. Ukubuyekezwa Kobuntu Nenhlalakahle Yengqondo, 9(3), 212-230.
• Cortina, LM, Magley, VJ, Williams, JH, & Langhout, RD (2001). Ukungabi namandla emsebenzini: Isigameko kanye nomthelela. Ijenali ye-Occupational Health Psychology, 6(1), 64-80.
• Giles, H., & Gasiorek, J. (2011). Izindlela zokuxhumana zezizwe ngezizwe. Ku-KW Schaie & SL Willis (Eds.), Handbook of the Psychology of Aging (7th ed., pp. 233-247). I-Academic Press.
• U-Miner, KN, Settles, IH, Pratt-Hyatt, JS, & Brady, CC (2012). Ukuhlangabezana nokungaphucuki ezinhlanganweni: Imiphumela ephazamisayo yokusekelwa ngokomzwelo nenhlangano. Ijenali ye-Applied Social Psychology, 42(2), 340-372.
• Vescio, T.K., Gervais, S.J., Snyder, M., & Hoover, A. (2005). Amandla nokudalwa kwezindawo ezikhuthazayo: Ukuziphatha okusekelwe embonweni kwabanamandla kanye nomthelela wabo ekusebenzeni kwabesifazane ezizindeni zabesilisa. Ijenali Yobuntu Nenhlalakahle Yengqondo, 88(4), 658-672.
• Wojciszke, B., & Abele, AE (2008). Ukubaluleka kwenhlanganyelo phezu kwe-ejensi kanye nokuhlehla kwayo ekuhlaziyeni. I-European Journal of Social Psychology, 38(7), 1139-1147.

Lolu hlu luhlanganisa izici ezihlukahlukene zokuziphatha okuzithobayo, okuhlanganisa ukubonakaliswa kwazo ezimweni ezihlukene zomphakathi, imiphumela yakhona yengqondo, namandla okuguquguquka ahlobene nakho.

Isiphetho

Sengiphetha, isimo sengqondo sokuzithoba singelinye lamathuluzi acashile futhi alimazayo asetshenziswa umphendukezeli we-narcissistic ukuze asungule ukubusa kwakhe kwengqondo. Kuqeda ukuzethemba komuntu ohlukunyeziwe, kudala umuzwa ongapheli wokuzibona ephansi, futhi kugcine ukungalingani kwamandla ebudlelwaneni. Izimpande ezingokwengqondo zalokhu kuziphatha, okusekelwe ekungavikelekeni komuntu ophendukezela i-narcissistic, zenza le phethini ibe nzima kakhulu ukwephula.

Ukuqonda izindlela kanye nomthelela wokuziphatha okuzithobayo komuntu ohlanekezelwe yi-narcissistic isinyathelo esibalulekile kuzisulu zabesifazane abafuna ukuzikhulula ethonyeni elinobuthi lozakwethu. Ngokubona amafomu ahlukene lokhu kuziphatha okungase kuthathwe futhi kuhlonzwe izindlela ezingokwengqondo emsebenzini, izisulu zingakwazi ukuqala ukuqeda isithombe esibi esibekwe kuzo.