Ubuntwana be-Narcissistic Pervert – Kwenzeka kanjani?

Theubuntwana bomuntu ophendukezela i-narcissistic kuyisihogo esingenalo uthando lweqiniso. Abantu ababa ngabazithandayo bona baba yizisulu zabazali babo futhi baye bahlupheka kakhulu, kwaze kwaba yilapho umphefumulo wabo wonakala ngokuphelele, futhi umuntu usephenduke waba yizithandani, ephoqelekile ukwanelisa izidingo zakhe nganoma iyiphi indlela.

Ukuntuleka Kothando Olungenamibandela – I-Emotional Void ye-PN

• Isixhumanisi phakathi kokuntuleka kothando olungenamibandela kanye nokuthuthukiswa kwezici zokunganaki kuyinkimbinkimbi, kodwa kunobufakazi obusikisela ukuthi okuhlangenwe nakho kobudlelwane bangaphambi kwesikhathi kudlala indima ebalulekile ekwakhiweni kobuntu, okuhlanganisa nengozi yokuthuthukisa izici ze-narcissistic.
• Abantu abaphambene nabazithandayo, ababonakala ngesidingo esikhulu sokuqashelwa, ukungabi nazwelo, kanye nokukhohlisa abanye ukuze bafeze imigomo yabo, kungenzeka ukuthi bathuthukise lezi zimfanelo njenge indlela yokuzivikela Uma ubhekene nokuhlangenwe nakho okunzima kobudlelwano, ukuntuleka kothando olungenamibandela nakho kungaba nomthelela ekwakhekeni kwe-ego enkulu nebuthakathaka kwabanye abantu, isici sokuzikhukhumeza.
• Kukhona izimpikiswano ezingokwengqondo eziphakamisa ukuthi ukungabi nalutho ngokomzwelo ebuntwaneni kungase kube nomthelela ekuthuthukiseni izici ze-narcissistic kwabanye abantu. Ama-Narcissists avame ukukhombisa isidingo esinganeliseki sokunakwa, uzwela oluphansi kwabanye, kanye nesifiso esiqhubekayo sokuqinisekisa ukugcwalisa isikhala somzwelo sangaphakathi.

Uma abazali bengama-Narcissistic Perverts maningi amathuba okuthi Ingane nayo ibe munye

• Ithonya labazali noma umndeni we-narcissistic pervert ekukhuleni kwengane ngokomzwelo kubalulekile, futhi ubudlelwano nabazali ababonisa izici ezihlanekezelekayo ze-narcissistic bungaba nemiphumela emibi kakhulu. Izingane ezikhuliswe endaweni lapho umzali oyedwa noma bobabili bebonisa ukuziphatha okuhlanekezelekile okungahle zivezwe iphethini yobudlelwano obunobuthi.
• Laba bazali, ngokuvamile ababonakala ngesidingo sabo sokubusa, ukulawula kanye nokuxhaphaza, bangaba nomthelela omubi ekuboneni ingane ngaye kanye nobudlelwano phakathi kwabantu. Ingane ingakwazi ukuthuthukisa izindlela zokuzivikela nezindlela zokuziphatha ukuze ibhekane nalesi simo esinzima, kodwa kunengozi yokuthi izozifaka ngaphakathi lezi zici ze-narcissistic.

I-Object Child ivame ukuba yiNcithakalo ye-Narcissistic

Abazali abaphatha izingane zabo njengezinto kunokuba abantu abazimele, futhi ababeka uthando lwabo nothando lwabo ngokuvumelana nalokho okulindelwe abazali, bangakha indawo elimaza ukukhula okunempilo kwengane.

Lokhu kuguquguquka komzali nengane kungakhuthaza ukuvela kwezimpawu ze-narcissistic ezinganeni, njengoba zifunda ukwazisa ukuzethemba kwazo ngokusekelwe kulokho okulindelwe ngaphandle kunokuhlakulela ukuxhumana okuyiqiniso nazo ngokwazo. Ukungabikho kothando olungenamibandela kungase futhi kuholele ekutheni ingane ihlale ifuna ukuvunyelwa nokuqashelwa, ngaleyo ndlela iphindaphinde amaphethini okuziphatha okunganaki.

Umama we-Fusional angenza ama-Narcissistic Perverts

• Umqondo wokuthi ubudlelwano be-fusional umama ohlanekezelwe onarcissistic kungaba nomthelela ekuthuthukisweni kwezici ze-narcissistic yisihloko esiyinkimbinkimbi nesiyimpikiswano kupsychology. Ubuhlobo obuseduze, lapho ingane incike kakhulu kumama nalapho imingcele ingafiphazwa khona, ingaba nomthelela ekukhuleni kobuntu, kodwa lokhu akusho ngokuzenzakalelayo ukuthi ingane izophenduka imbuka.
• Ezinye izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo zisikisela ukuthi ebuhlotsheni obuseduze obungenampilo, ingane ingase ibe nobunzima bokwakha ubunjalo bomuntu ngamunye, obungase buthinte izici ze-narcissistic ezifana nesidingo esidlulele sokunakwa, ukufuna njalo ukuqinisekiswa, noma ubunzima bokusungula ubudlelwano obunokulinganisela.
• Kodwa-ke, kubalulekile ukuqaphela ukuthi ukuthuthukiswa kwezici ze-narcissistic ku-multifactorial futhi kuncike ezicini eziningi, okuhlanganisa ufuzo, indawo yonke, okuhlangenwe nakho kwempilo, namanye amathonya. Akuzona zonke izingane ezikhuliswe ebudlelwaneni obusondelene ngempela ezihlakulela izici ze-narcissistic.
• Kubalulekile futhi ukugcizelela ukuthi igama elithi “impetha ye-narcissistic” licacile futhi livamise ukubekelwa impatho eyeqisayo yokukhohlisa nokubusa. Izingane eziningi ezikhuliswe ebuhlotsheni obuseduze azikukhulisi ukuziphatha okunjalo.

I-Codependency Soup – ubuthi ku-PN Abundance

• Kunemibono yezengqondo ephakamisa ukuthi ubudlelwano obuncikene ebuntwaneni bungaba nomthelela ekuthuthukisweni kwezimpawu ze-narcissistic kwabanye abantu. Ubudlelwano obuncikene bubonakala ngokuguquguquka lapho umuntu oyedwa encike ngokweqile ngokomzwelo komunye, nalapho inhlalakahle yomuntu oyedwa iboshelwe kakhulu komunye.
• Ku-a ubudlelwano obuncikene, ingane ingase ifunde ukwazisa umuzwa wayo wokuzethemba osekelwe ekuhlangabezaneni nezidingo ezingokomzwelo zabanye, kunokuba ithuthukise ukuzimela okunempilo ngokomzwelo.
• Kodwa-ke, kubalulekile ukuqaphela ukuthi ukuthuthukiswa kwezici ze-narcissistic kuyinkimbinkimbi futhi ku-multifactorial. Kuhileleke nezinye izici eziningi, njengezakhi zofuzo, indawo yomphakathi, nokunye okuhlangenwe nakho ekuphileni. Ubudlelwano obuncikene ebuntwaneni bungenye yezinto eziningi ezingaba nomthelela ekuthuthukisweni kobuntu.

I-Dysfunctional Family Dynamics – I-Triangulation kanye ne-PN

• Ubukhona be Amandla omndeni angasebenzi ingadlala indima ebalulekile ekuthuthukisweni kwe-narcissistic pervert. Izimo lapho ingane ivikelwe ngokweqile noma, ngokuphambene nalokho, inganakwa, ingaholela ekuhlanekezelekeni ekwakhekeni kokuzethemba futhi ikhuthaze ukuthuthukiswa kokuziphatha okukhohlisayo.
• Ukuvikela ngokweqile ngokweqile ohlangothini lwabazali, ngokuxakayo, kungaba nomthelela ekuthuthukisweni kwezimpawu ze-narcissistic ezinganeni. Lapho abazali befuna njalo ukuvikela ingane yabo ezinseleleni nasekuhlulekeni, ngokungazi bangase bakhuthaze ukuzibona ngokweqile nokuthembela ngokomzwelo.
• Amandla omndeni nawo angadlala indima ekudluliselweni kwezizukulwane zokuziphatha kwe-narcissistic. Uma abazali ngokwabo bebonisa izici ze-narcissistic, lokhu kungaba nomthelela ekuziphatheni kwengane futhi kuqhubekisele phambili umjikelezo wokuziphatha kwe-narcissistic emndenini.

Ukukhohlisa kanye namanga yonke indawo – Iqiniso le-PN

• Kunezinkomba zokuthi ukuxhashazwa njalo nokuqamba amanga ngesikhathi sobuntwana kungase kube nomthelela ekuthuthukisweni kwezimpawu ze-narcissistic kwabanye abantu. Abaphendukezeli be-Narcissistic bavame ukubonakala ngokuziphatha okukhohlisayo, isidingo esiqhubekayo sokulawula abanye, kanye nokuthambekela kokuqamba amanga ukuze bafeze izinhloso zabo. Lezi zici zingase zibe nezimpande ekuhlangenwe nakho kwasebuntwaneni, lapho umuntu angase afunde ukusebenzisa lawa masu njengendlela yokuzivikela noma ukukhohlisa ukuze azivumelanise nesimo esinzima.
• Uma ingane ikhulela endaweni lapho ukukhohlisa nokuqamba amanga kuyinsakavukela, ingase ikufake ngaphakathi lokhu kuziphatha njengamasu asebenzayo okuthola lokho ekufunayo noma ukuzivikela emiphumeleni emibi. Ukuntuleka kwezibonelo ezinhle kanye nokungabikho kohlaka lwezemfundo olukhuthaza ukuzibophezela nobuqotho kungaba nomthelela ekwamukelweni kokuziphatha okukhohlisayo.
• Kubalulekile ukugcizelela ukuthi ukuthuthukiswa kwezici ze-narcissistic kuyinkimbinkimbi futhi kuncike ezintweni ezihlukahlukene, okuhlanganisa ufuzo, indawo yomndeni, okuhlangenwe nakho kokuphila, namanye amathonya omphakathi. Akubona bonke abantu abachayeka ekukhohliseni nasekuleleni ebuntwaneni ababa nezici zokungalawuleki, kodwa lokhu okuhlangenwe nakho kungasiza ekulolongeni izici ezithile zobuntu. Ukwesekwa kwengqondo kungase kudingeke ukusiza abantu ngabanye baqonde futhi banqobe lezi zindlela zokuziphatha ezilimazayo.

Ukuntuleka Kwamamodeli Ahle – Ukuhlupheka Kwengane Ye-PN

• Ukuntuleka kwezibonelo ezinhle ngesikhathi sobuntwana kungaba nomthelela ngempela ekuthuthukisweni kwezici zokunganaki kubantu abathile. Amamodeli amahle abalulekile ekusizeni izingane zakhe umuzwa onempilo wokuzethemba, ukwakha ubudlelwano obunozwela, futhi zifunde amakhono abalulekile okuxhumana nabantu.
• Ama-Narcissistic perverts avame ukubonakala ngesidingo eseqile sokunakwa, ukungabi nozwelo kwabanye kanye nokufuna ukuqinisekiswa njalo. Uma ingane ikhula ingenazo izibonelo ezinhle zokubonisa ukuziphatha okufanele komphakathi, izindinganiso zokuziphatha, namakhono obudlelwane.
• Kodwa-ke, kubalulekile ukuqaphela ukuthi ukuthuthukiswa kwezici ze-narcissistic ku-multifactorial. Ngaphandle kokuntuleka kwezibonelo ezinhle, ezinye izici ezifana nezakhi zofuzo, okuhlangenwe nakho ekuphileni nendawo yenhlalo nakho kungase kube nendima. Abantu ngabanye basabela ngendlela ehlukile ezimeni ezifanayo, futhi akubona bonke abantu abakhula ngaphandle kwezibonelo ezinhle abahlakulela izici zokunganaki.

Ukuhlukunyezwa/Ukuhlukumezeka Ngokomzwelo noma Emzimbeni – Ingane eba yi-PN yingane ehlupheke kakhulu

• Kukhona izixhumanisi eziphakanyisiwe phakathi kokuhlangenwe nakho kokuhlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo, ngokomzimba, noma ukuhlukumezeka ngesikhathi sobuntwana kanye nokuthuthukiswa kwezici zokunganaki kwabanye abantu. Kodwa-ke, kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuthi akuwona wonke umuntu oye waba nokuhlangenwe nakho okubuhlungu ophenduka i-narcissistic pervert.
• Ukuhlukumezeka, okuhlanganisa ukuhlukumeza ngokomzwelo noma ngokomzimba, kungaba nomthelela ekukhuleni kwengane ngokomzwelo ngezindlela ezihlukahlukene. Ezinye izingane zisabela ekuhlukumezeni ngokwakha izindlela zokuzivikela, ezifana nokuziphatha kwe-narcissistic, ukuze zibhekane nobuhlungu obungokomzwelo nokungakwazi ukuzisiza.
• Lokhu kuziphatha kokunganaki kungase kube umzamo wengane wokuzivikela nokulondoloza umuzwa wokuzethemba esimweni lapho ilinyazwe kakhulu ngokomzwelo.
• Abantu abake babhekana nokuhlukumezeka badinga ukwesekwa ngokwengqondo ukuze babhekane nemiphumela yalokhu okuhlangenwe nakho enhlalakahleni yabo engokomzwelo nangokwengqondo.

Imiphumela Ebudaleni

• Izici ezihlanekezelwe ze-narcissistic ezinezimpande zabo ebuntwaneni zivame ukuqhubeka nokuba abantu abadala. Laba bantu bangase balondoloze ubudlelwano obunobuthi, baxhashaze ngokomzwelo labo ababazungezile. Ukuqonda umsuka walokhu kuziphatha kubalulekile ekuthuthukiseni izindlela zokwelapha ezifanele ezihloselwe ukunciphisa imiphumela elimazayo ebudlelwaneni babantu.
• Izimpawu zokuqala ze-narcissistic pervert ngokuvamile ziqala ukuvela ebuntwaneni. Laba bantu bavame ukubonisa ukuthambekela kokukhohlisa abanye, ukufuna ukulawula, nokuthuthukisa umuzwa ophakeme wokubaluleka kwabo. Lokhu kuziphatha kungabonakala ebudlelwaneni bomndeni, lapho ukukhohlisa okucashile kuba ithuluzi lakuqala lokufeza izinhloso zabo zobugovu.