Narcissistic Pervert and Sex – Sexuality of the Narcissistic Pervert

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e Sex with a narcissistic pervert is initially romantic and passionate, often becoming one-sided, transactional, even aggressive. Sexual narcissists prioritize their own gratification and sexual needs, lack empathy for their sexual partners. They thus expect frequent praise about their sexual performance and feel empowered to have sex whenever and wherever they want.

The Narcissistic Pervert and Sex in Seduction 

Sex with a narcissist is often nothing like ordinary sex. In some cases it can be exhilarating and seductive it's almost like you're playing together a graphic fantasy scene.

In other cases it looks like a negotiation tool it is a way for the narcissist to gain control and power.

Finally, it can also seem completely erratic or manipulative : at some point, the perverse seducer wants to be intimate, and the next moment he seems repelled by your affection. In other words, it's often difficult to know what the narcissist really wants from you.

Sometimes he seems obsessed other times he seems totally disinterested.

Narcissism and sexuality: a complex dynamic

Narcissism and sexuality have a close and complex relationship. For a narcissistic person, sexuality is often seen as a way to gain validation, admiration, and a sense of power rather than as an expression of intimacy and emotional connection. This dynamic can manifest itself in several ways:

  1. Objectification : The partner can be seen as an object of gratification rather than as a whole person.
  2. Performance : Sexual intercourse can become a “performance” aimed at proving one’s superiority or attractiveness.
  3. Lack of empathy : The needs and desires of the partner may be neglected in favor of personal satisfaction.
  4. Constant need for novelty : An incessant search for new conquests to feed the ego.
  5. Use of seduction : Seduction can be used as a tool of manipulation and control.
  6. Intimacy difficulties : Paradoxically, despite apparent sexual confidence, there can be a deep fear of emotional intimacy.
  7. Libido fluctuations : Sexual interest can vary drastically depending on the narcissistic needs of the moment.

For women in a relationship with a narcissistic partner, this dynamic can be particularly difficult. They may feel used, emotionally neglected, or constantly under pressure to satisfy their partner's needs for validation. It is important to recognize these patterns and understand that this behavior reflects the narcissist's internal issues rather than your own self-worth.

Developing healthy sexuality involves recognizing and valuing your own needs and desires, establishing clear boundaries, and seeking authentic emotional connection. If you find yourself in a relationship where your sexuality is constantly being used to feed your partner's ego, it may be beneficial to seek support, whether through therapy or support groups.

How does the PN make love? Danger to Avoid

Like everything with a narcissistic pervert, it's a cycle, so at first the relationship is amazing, then it starts to become mundane as their glow fades and quickly becomes just a mechanism to achieve orgasm.

  • You're approaching the stage of devaluation where it's just a matter of pretending to get off on it or they start toying with you and withholding their share.
  • PNs, are inveterate deceivers and they not only use sex as a currency but also as a way to feed off the supply (i.e. they take pleasure in order to feel sexy and no longer think about how they really feel).
  • Then comes the end of the cycle where they start insulting you and trying to humiliate you in the most vulnerable place, the bedroom.
  • It doesn't matter who you are, making you feel like nothing, as they do in every aspect of every relationship cycle. the two most beautiful things that humans share with their chosen partner, love and sex, and they see them as transactional, as currency; it is terribly heartbreaking.

Why does the Narcissistic Pervert Hurt love?

1. They need a lot of praise

In bed, this can sometimes translate to putting their own pleasure first. They want you to meet their needs, and if yours aren't being met, that's not really their problem.

That said, smugness can also mean he wants to please you so you can praise his skills and tell him what a caring partner he is.

So instead of telling you how much fun you had together, he may want you to describe, in great detail, how good he is at sex (sexual sadism) and how much you enjoyed the meeting.

She may be looking for that validation and approval every time you have sex. If you don't give them the admiration they expect, they may ask for more compliments or even get angry.

2. They don't care about your feelings.

A narcissistic pervert may even seem unaware that other people have feelings.

If your partner is showing symptoms of PN, you might feel like as long as he gets what he wants, nothing else matters.

He may have a very specific and detailed idea of ​​how your dating should go. The PN tells you what he wants to do, in what position, what to wear to bed and what to say during the act. It doesn't ask your opinion or take into account that you might want to try something else.

You may then feel more like an object than a partner.

What does a PN in bed want and how does he behave?

The question may seem simple, but the answers are much more complicated.

  • First of all, it is essential to understand that most narcissists seek above all to meet their own needs and secure their own pleasure.

But, as you've probably noticed, this pattern isn't exclusive to sex, it's an integral part of their personality.

  • They often come off as selfish and insensitive, putting their needs ahead of those of others. This mindset is the anatomy of what makes a narcissist a narcissist!

But different PNs will have different motivations for their sexual behavior.

Narcissistic Pervert Sexual Abuse

While sexual behaviors can manifest in a variety of ways, there are some signs to look out for. Sexual narcissists tend to enter intimate relationships with charm, flattering comments, and an abundance of love.

1. Prioritize Your Own Sexual Satisfaction

Sexual narcissists are preoccupied with their own satisfaction, ignoring the needs of their sexual partner. When their partner expresses a sexual need or preference, the sexual narcissist may ignore the request or accuse their partner of being controlling or selfish.

 2. Declare that they are not Sexually Satisfied

Although sexual FNs go out of their way to prioritize their own sexual satisfaction, they tend to report low sexual satisfaction and blame it on their partner. They may judge or criticize their partner's performance or suggest that sex has become boring and needs to change to meet the sexual narcissist's sexual needs. Sexual narcissists may imply (or even openly threaten) that they will seek satisfaction elsewhere if their partner does not do better. The narcissistic pervert and sex are two things that cannot be separated.

3. Aggression or violence

While aggression during sex can be perfectly healthy for some, it can indicate that someone is a sexual narcissist if they engage in unwanted sexual touching, sexual coercion, or rape. Aggression may occur periodically as a result of narcissistic rage, or it is possible that the sexual narcissist prefers all sexual encounters to be aggressive in nature.

4. A lack of empathy for the needs of the partner

Research suggests that while narcissists are in fact capable of empathy, they choose to use it only when it serves them. Sexual narcissists typically show a lack of empathy for their partner's needs in an effort to meet their own intimacy needs. They may do this by engaging in aggressive behavior or, more generally, by ignoring their partner's requests or preferences in order to prioritize their own.

The deviant sexuality of the PN

1. Sex is all about them

At some point, they may have devoted time and attention to your needs. He may even have made you happy in a way that no one else could match.

But this type of behavior is often synonymous with « love bombing« , and this is a common way to “attract” new partners in toxic relationships. When it comes to the first stages of sexual relationship, narcissists know how to appear generous and compassionate. They lavish their love on you, drawing you into their world without worrying about your feelings.

And once they captivated you? Sex for the narcissistic pervert becomes entirely selfish. They may pretend to barely satisfy you, but end up losing interest in your body, sex, or even kissing. This is because sex is only about their needs, wants, and expectations.

2. Sex is just a game

Now think about what sex can mean to the narcissist. To the narcissist, sex is not about bonding, connecting, or building intimacy. It is about “winning a game.” In this context, you are nothing more than a pawn in his quest for power, control, and personal gratification.

Sex is just one of the many ways they use to inflate their ego. So when they sleep with you, it's about maintaining and restoring their ego, not creating a powerful feeling of love.

Is a Narcissistic Pervert Hypersexual? 

Understanding the narcissistic pervert and sex can be complicated. Sex, in general, should be experienced as a pleasant and pleasurable act for both parties. If things still seem one-sided, that's a red flag to heed. Remember that sexual abuse is never okay. This basic rule applies in all circumstances.

Love requires trust and respect, and sexual abuse undermines the foundations of these two essential needs. If you think you've been sexually abused, it's not your fault. However, it is essential to take the best measures to protect yourself.

Start by reaching out to a source of support you trust.

Cristina Balan
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