Narcissistic Perverted Father – The Toxic Behaviors of the PN Father?

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Knowing how to deal with a father with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) can help you avoid the negative feelings that often result from this type of relationship. In this article, we'll discuss the effects a father with narcissistic personality disorder can have on his children, and offer advice on how to navigate and cope with the long-term relationship.

How to recognize a narcissistic perverted father?

The term narcissism or narcissist is often used these days. The truth is that most of us exhibit at least one (or sometimes more) of the common traits associated with narcissistic personality disorder, but that doesn't mean we all live with NP.

As the name suggests, the narcissistic pervert is a personality disorder, and disorders, by definition, disrupt normal mental and physical functions. It's important to keep this in mind because if your father is suffering from NPD, it can help to remember that his narcissistic behavior, while frustrating and confusing, is not his choice.

Signs of a PN father

A father with narcissistic personality disorder may exhibit several traits, including:

  • A pervasive pattern of behavior or grandiose fantasies.
  • Reaction to criticism with shame, rage or humiliation.
  • A constant need for extreme attention
  • Unrealistic need for admiration and appreciation
  • Envious to excess, to the point of anger
  • Showing signs of concern for success or power.
  • Disregard for the personal boundaries of others
  • Self-admiration to the point of arrogance
  • Gross lack of empathy for others
  • A false sense of entitlement.

In general, people with narcissistic personality disorder don't care too much about you. They're more likely to focus on what you can do for them and how to get you done the fastest.

Who is the narcissistic perverted father?

The most common narcissistic traits in fathers are an inflated ego, the need to always be right, and an unwarranted or false sense of entitlement. Few of us think that our fathers did everything it took to raise us. However, being raised by a narcissistic father goes beyond these limits. They focus intensely on their image as fathers and exercise control over the behaviors and decisions of their children and partners.

A narcissistic perverse father is excessively pretentious: he spends excessive time taking care of his appearance and that of his family. He seeks to be complimented and is more concerned with the visual aspect of a situation than the situation itself. He is excessively obsessed with success: In his mind, he sees himself as the most accomplished person in the room, and his grandiose narcissism keeps him isolated from any evidence that contradicts his perceptions.
No Emotional Support: Narcissistic evil dads have little empathy for others, and he may even be unable to recognize when a child needs his emotional support.

Narcissistic Perverted Father – How Does He Manipulate Their Children?

Here are five manipulative tactics narcissistic fathers use to control their children :

1. Emotional blackmail: 

The narcissistic father seems to be making a request, but it is actually a demand. If you say no, set limits, or tell them you'll come back later, he'll put more pressure on you and threaten you with consequences to try to get you to agree. If you still refuse, then he may punish you by sulking, making passive-aggressive statements, getting angry, withholding something important, or even threatening to use violence or sabotage. It's emotional blackmail.

2. Guilt through fear, obligation and guilt:

It is common for narcissistic fathers to use fear, obligation, and guilt on these children to evoke the kind of guilt that would cause us to give in to their desires, even at the expense of our own basic needs and rights.

3. Blame:

Narcissistic and toxic pervert fathers shame or even blame their children to put them down and devalue them further. It's actually very effective, as research has shown that when a person feels imperfect and defective, they tend to bend more to the demands of others.

4. Triangulation and comparison:

Narcissistic parents love to compare their children to other siblings or peers in an attempt to put them down further. They want their scapegoat children to fight for their approval and attention. They also want to make them feel inferior.

Relationship between the narcissistic perverted father and his daughter 

Girls whose father is a PN often report that their father was never able to give them what they needed growing up. They often feel that their relationship is not satisfying. It's also normal for them to remember having to compete with their siblings for parenting time or affection from their narcissistic father.

Some adult girls say the toxic relationship still has a profound impact on their lives. Many feel constantly vulnerable and always under pressure to do better, even as adults. People with narcissistic personality disorder are often perfectionists, and fathers can make their adult children, especially their daughters, feel insecure and inadequate, unable to receive love. and not deserving it.

Behavior of a PN father towards his daughter

A narcissistic pervert father will invariably be emotionally abusive, manipulating his daughter by blaming or threatening her. He can use her as a pawn in his own games or make her feel responsible for his happiness, and will deny her love and affection if she does not meet his expectations. In addition, he will not hesitate to expose it to gaslight if that suits him.

Many narcissistic fathers are also physically abusive, whether it's beatings, slaps, or some other form of violence. It is usually a way of asserting power and control over his daughter. And very often, most of the children living with a pn father, turn into narcissistic pervert teen.

Narcissistic Perverse Father – Toxic and Dangerous Behaviors for His Children?

Narcissistic pervert fathers often cause harm to their children. For example, they may disrespect boundaries, manipulate their children into denying them affection (until they perform well), and neglect to meet their children's needs because their needs come first.

Because image is very important to narcissists, they may demand perfection from their children. The child of a narcissistic father may, in turn, feel pressure to increase his talents, appearance, intelligence, or charisma. It can cost them dearly if they carry out their father's wishes and it can cost them dearly if they fail. There is no possible victory.

Narcissistic Pervert and his Family

The narcissist has a dichotomous view of humanity: humans are either sources of narcissistic supply (and, therefore, idealized and overvalued) or do not fulfill this function (and, therefore, are worthless, devalued). The narcissist gets all the love he needs from himself. From the outside it needs approval, affirmation, admiration, adoration, attention – in other words, externalized boundary functions of the ego.

  • He does not need - and does not seek - the love of his parents, his brothers and sisters, or to be loved by his children. He considers them as the audience of the theater of its exacerbated grandiosity.
  • The PN wants to impress them, shock them, threaten them, impress them, inspire them, get their attention, subjugate them or manipulate them.
  • It emulates and simulates a whole range of emotions and employs every means to achieve these effects. He lies (narcissists are pathological liars – their self is a fake).
  • The Narcissistic pervert plays the pitiful or, on the contrary, the resistant and the reliable. He astonishes and shines by exceptional intellectual or physical abilities and achievements, or by behaviors appreciated by the members of the narcissistic perverse family.

Childhood of the Narcissistic Pervert

Narcissistic perverts are characterized by a negative image of themselves. They lie to others and put them down in order to increase their own self-esteem. They act like they're better than others, need to be admired, and are aware of their manipulative skills, while feeling no empathy when they see others suffer.

Most often, narcissistic perverts are men. They can cause harm to their romantic partner, but it can also be a co-worker, friend, or family member. The causes of this behavior have not been identified, but psychologists believe that an overprotected childhood, with high expectations, may be the cause. On the other hand, narcissistic perverts might also have been abused or neglected as children.

Narcissistic Perverse Father – Leave or Stay?

Growing up with a dismissive parent or feeling like an unloved child can also be painful. If you're going through this, it's natural to feel confused and hesitant about what to do next and wonder what to do about a manipulative father. There are ways to take a closer look, set the necessary boundaries, and then decide how to move forward with this relationship.

The solution that works best is to reduce communication or eliminate contact with a narcissistic father. Developing a plan with a mental health professional can help you find safe tactics.

Slowly reducing contact is really helpful, it can be painful for both of you to suddenly stop talking to each other. What's more, they may feel sadness and loss the same way you do.

He may not have the emotional resources to express this grief appropriately, but that doesn't mean he doesn't feel it.

Bibliographic reference for understanding the behavior of a narcissistic perverted father

Here is a selection of bibliographical references on the theme of narcissistic perverted fathers:

  1. Fleming, J. (2013). The Narcissistic Pervert – Editions de l’Atelier.
  2. Marty, P. (2014). Toxic Fathers: When the Father is a Narcissistic Pervert – Editions The Book Courier.
  3. Levy, J. (2017). Psychoanalysis and narcissism – L'Harmattan Editions.
  4. Bouchard, M. (2018). The Narcissistic Pervert and his victims: Understanding to better defend yourself – Health Editions.
  5. Charpak, G., & Grégoire, L. (2016). Emotional manipulation in the couple – Albin Michel Editions.
  6. Sargueil, J. (2019). The Child and the Narcissistic Pervert: Understanding Better to Act Better – Editions The Spirit of the Times.
  7. Kahane, S. (2020). Narcissism: An Insidious Evil – Eyrolles Editions.

These books will allow you to explore the characteristics of narcissistic perverse fathers and their effects on children and family dynamics.

Conclusion

Cutting off communication with someone is an extreme measure and should generally be used as a last resort, especially when dealing with a family member. It's important to try to talk to the person, set boundaries, and create a relationship that doesn't negatively impact your life.

But if keeping in touch with a close PN is too painful or detrimental, severing ties and leaving may be the best course of action for your sanity. Remember: “You do it because your mental health, self-esteem and well-being are more important to you than maintaining a relationship with a narcissistic family member.”.

To consult:

Cristina Balan
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