La ukuguqulwa kwe-narcissistic akukaze kukhulunywe ngakho kakhulu kunamanje. Cishe uyazibuza ukuthi lokhu kuziphatha kuzibonakalisa kanjani. Isisekelo siwukuqamba amanga, ukuhlukanisa isisulu nokumenza azizwe enecala. Kunzima ukuchaza ukuziphatha okunjalo uma uhlanya ngothando nomlingani wakho noma unkosikazi wakho.
Ubudlelwano nomuntu okhohlisayo - Buhamba kanjani ubudlelwano?
Ngokuvamile, kungase kwenzeke ngendlela engavamile, njenganoma yibuphi ubuhlobo bomshado. Awuboni lutho olubi oluzayo emasontweni adlulayo. Kodwa okokuqala, uyokulawula, ukuze nithandane ngokuphelele naye.
Kuyagcizelelwa zisuka nje ukuthi lolu hlobo lomuntu lungaba ngowesifazane.
Ngalo muntu, uze ukholelwe othandweni ekuqaleni kokubona, umuzwa ongawuzwanga isikhathi eside. Uthando lwenu luyahambisana, yonke into ibonakala ijwayelekile, futhi nobabili seniqala nokubheka kude kakhulu esikhathini esizayo.
- Amazwi othando nezimpawu zothando aqedwa ngokushesha ukucasuka nokubhuqa. Uyabona ukuthi kwesinye isikhathi ubonakala engasathandani nhlobo.
- Bese-ke, uqala ukuqaphela okungaqondakali ezenzweni zakhe, futhi ikakhulukazi emazwini akhe. Kodwa isisulu sizokwenza isiqiniseko sokuthi konke kuwukungaqondi nje kanye nombono. Isizathu siwukuthi ukwazi kahle kangangokuthi angakuphatha ngendlela athanda ngayo.
- Bese kulandela ukuhlazeka esidlangalaleni, embuthanweni womndeni, ngesikhathi sokudla okulula nozakwabo noma phakathi kwabangane abaseduze. Wenza ihlaya ngokumelene nawe kukho konke ukuzijabulisa, futhi ngaphandle kwenhloso embi, nakuba kukulimaza ngokuqondile. Ube esekudida ngezaba ngesenzo sakhe, ethi ubefuna ukuzijabulisa nje, kube nje ''ihlaya'' .
Ingabe umuntu okhohlisayo angashintsha othandweni?
Sikholelwa nokuthi impendulo yalo mbuzo ingasusa konke ukungabaza kwethu. Njengoba umuntu ehlanyiswa uthando lwalo muntu, impendulo kufanele ithi YEBO, ngoba uthando lususa konke okubi futhi lushintsha isimo somuntu. Ngeshwa impendulo ithi, CHA.
Okokuqala, siqala ngomsuka wenkinga, i umyengi okhohlakele ngeke ishintshe. Ngokusho kwe-psychotherapist, “uma engathinteki kangako, amandla othando angahlala” (Anne-Clotilde Ziegler).
Qaphela ukubamba amathemba ayize okuthi umuntu uzoshintsha. Ngisho noma ungamnika lonke uthando nokunaka akudingayo, ngeke akwazi ukushintsha. Khombisa ukuthi ufanelwe okungcono, ukuthi ulufanele uthando lwakho.
Ungakwazi yini ukwenza i-narcissistic manipulator ithandane?
Ngaphandle kokufisa ukudambisa inkohliso yakho, ukukhohlisa kwe-narcissistic okokuqala nokuphambili kuyi-pathology. Ngisho ukugula kwengqondo. Umuntu ogulayo akanayo imizwa, okwenza kube nzima kakhulu ukuba nobuhlobo bothando nomuntu ovamile.
Kodwa-ke, inkinga enkulu ngokusho kochwepheshe, “Lapho ekuthanda kakhulu, kulapho ekuqeda khona. » Ngakho-ke, uma ucabanga ukugcina ubuhlobo obuhlala njalo nomuntu one-pathology enjalo, uthando alusoze lwanele. Usengalingisa uthando olusafufusa noma lweqiniso, ngenxa yentokozo yakho enkulu. Qaphela, ukumenza athandane ngeke kube lula kangako.
Uma uthintana nobufakazi babantu abake baba izisulu, uzobona ukuthi u-90% wabo ubonile ukuthi i-manipulator ayishintshile futhi ngeke ishintshe. Uyazi ukuthi ubulindeleni.
Kungani i-narcissistic pervert ingashintshi?
Unomkhuba wokusola yonke into kwabanye. Akawamukeli neze amaphutha akhe, nemiphumela yezenzo zakhe. Ukuze ashintshe, futhi ikakhulukazi ngenxa yothando, kufanele asebenzise izindlela zakhe ezintathu ezingenakuhlukaniswa:
- Makaqaphele inkinga anayo, naleyo ayibangele ngephutha lakhe;
- Makazizwe enesidingo sokusungula izinto ezintsha, ukuze kube noshintsho;
- Makenze ngokufanele;
Ngaphezu kwakho konke, ungawethembi amazwi akhe, ngokuvamile angabalulekile futhi athophayo. Bheka izenzo zakhe, izenzo zakhe ukuqonda ngempela izinhloso zakhe zokushintsha.
Okuningi, uyathanda ukuziqhayisa ngokukubeka phansi. Ngaphezu kwalokho, umuntu ohlanekezela u-narcissistic uyakwazi ukukhuluma ngaye njengomuntu onesiphiwo sokuhlakanipha nolwazi, okhuliswe ngamasiko, ngendlela ongayithandi ngayo. Umkhohlisi uthanda ukuhlanganyela ezingxoxweni ezingenamsebenzi ukuze nje akucasule ezindabeni eziningi, njengezinkinga zomndeni, ubudlelwano bakhe bangaphambili, izinkinga zakho nowayethandana naye.
Ungazi kanjani ukuthi i-manipulator iyakuthanda?
Ukwazi ukuthi umuntu okhohlisayo uyasithanda yini isisulu sakhe kuyinkimbinkimbi kakhulu. Ngokuvamile, lezi zinhlobo zabantu ziyakwazi ukukhohlisa uthando lwangempela, njengabantu abavamile.
Ngokusho kwe-psychotherapist, "umzingeli uzothanda njengoba uthanda into ekulethela udumo". Uma uqapha ukuziphatha kwakhe, uzobona ukuthi uzoshaya ukushisa nokubanda, ukuthi amanga ahlanekezela ama-narcissistic ngokuzenzakalelayo kukho konke futhi ngaphezu kwakho konke, akasoze acaca emizweni yakhe.
Kungenzeka ukuthi uzizwa uvumelana, ngoba yebo, kuzoba nokubukana, izimpawu ezihlukene zothando nothando, nokho lokhu kuwumcabango nje, ngisho ne-utopian.
Ireferensi yezincwadi
Nazi izikhombo eziyisikhombisa zebhayibhili ezikhuluma ngombuzo wokuthi kungenzeka yini ukuthi umkhohlisi ashintshele uthando:
- Hirigoyen, M.-F. (1998). Ukuhlukunyezwa ngokokuziphatha: Ubudlova obuhlanekezelwe nsuku zonke. Paris: Syros.
- Tisseron, S. (2010). Izimfihlo zomndeni: Ukusuka ekudluliseleni kuye ekwambulweni. EParis: I-PUF.
- Cyrulnik, B. (2001). Ishwa elimangalisayo. EParis: Odile Jacob.
- USalome, J. (2004). Isibindi sokuba nguwe. Paris: Albin Michel.
- U-Ancelin Schützenberger, A. (1998). Hawu, bokhokho bami!. EParis: Desclée de Brouwer.
- Cungi, C., & Lemoine, M. (2008). Zigomele futhi uxhumane. Paris: Retz.
- Lejoyeux, M. (2017). Ubuntu obunzima. EParis: Odile Jacob.
Lezi zincwadi zinikeza imibono eyahlukene mayelana nemvelo yokuziphatha okukhohlisayo kanye nombuzo wokuyilungisa ngothando.
Isiphetho
Iqiniso liyatshelwa, i-manipulator ayikwazi ukushintsha. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ingabonisa ukuziphendukela kwemvelo ngokobuthakathaka bezisulu zayo. Uma uzwa ukwesaba okuvamile noma ukungabaza, uyazi ukuthi angazisebenzisa kanjani ukuze afune ushintsho ngaphandle kokuhlala njalo.
Ngenjwayelo, umuntu okhohlisayo angashintsha, ngemva kokuqaphela umonakalo awudalile nxazonke zakhe. Kumelwe aqale akwazi ukubona isisekelo sangempela sezinkinga zakhe futhi kanjalo alwe namademoni akhe amadala ukuze afeze lokhu.
Ngakho-ke lolu shintsho alukwazi ukuncika kuwe kodwa kuye kuphela. Kumelwe sivule amehlo akhe ezenzweni zakhe, simtshele ngokuqondile ngamaphutha akhe ngaphandle kokulungisa. Le ndlela ingenye yezixazululo ezingavamile ku-pathology yakhe.
Cishe ubulindele isimangaliso esingazelelwe kodwa ungakhohliswa. Ushintsho lwangempela kuphela oluvela komunye nomunye wethu, ngomoya wethu.
Ezinye Izihloko okufanele uzihlole:
- I-Manipulator's Weak Point
- Ukusabela Kwe-Manipulator Lapho Umshiya
- Imen Es Mayday
- Izimpawu Zokukhanyisa
- U-Imen Uyi-Narcissistic Pervert
- Umkhohlisi ohlanekezelwe we-Narcissistic
- I-Emotional manipulator
Nginentshisekelo nge-psychology, ngasebenza emkhakheni wezezimali iminyaka eyi-10. Njengomphathi omkhulu ngaphatha amaqembu abantu abangaphezu kuka-200. I-psychology yawo wonke umuntu iyindawo yonke ngokwayo futhi ngokuqinisekile iyisihluthulelo sempumelelo yalawa mabhizinisi!
Ngesayithi perversnarcissique.org kanye nenhlangano esiza abantulayo i-Je M'Aime, ngabelana ngolwazi lwami ngale ndaba kanye nolwazi lwami lwempilo mayelana ne-narcissism kanye nokuhlanekezelwa kwe-narcissistic, usizi emphakathini wethu. Kimina lesi sifo siyinkinga yangempela yezempilo yomphakathi, eyaziwa kancane, nakuba sithinta cishe ingxenye yabantu ngamazinga ahlukahlukene.
Futhi kuyindlela yokusiza abantu, njengoba nami ngiye ngakwazi ukuthola usizo kubantu engingabazi kukho konke ukuphila kwami. Akukhona kuphela abahlanekezeli be-narcissistic kulo mhlaba futhi ngenhlanhla! Lapha sisiza abantu baqonde ukuthi kwenzekani kubo futhi badlulele empilweni engenazo ama-narcissists - impilo yakho engcono kakhulu! Awuwedwa futhi ungenza ushintsho ukuze uphile impilo eyanelisayo, egcwele ukuthula, ukuzwana nothando!
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