Le abandonment syndrome kuxhumene kakhulu nokukhathazeka kokushiywa. Lesi simo sinemithelela eminingana ebudlelwaneni bomuntu, noma ngabe okothando, ubungane noma umndeni ngokwemvelo. Nakhu okubalulekile ukwazi ngakho.
Iyini i-abandonment syndrome noma ukwesaba ukulahlwa?
Abantu abane-abandonment syndrome banokwesaba okuqhubekayo kokulahlwa noma ukuhlukaniswa. Ebonakala ngezimpawu ezinjengokungavikeleki kanye ne-codependency, ama-syndromes okulahlwa awawona ukuxilongwa okusemthethweni kwempilo yengqondo.
Uma umuntu ebhekene nokucindezeleka okukhulu empilweni yakhe ngenxa yokwesaba ukulahlwa, uchwepheshe wezempilo yengqondo angase amhlole ukuthi unesimo esihlobene naso, njengokukhathazeka noma ukucindezeleka. Bobabili abadala kanye nezingane bangathola lo muzwa, ongabangela ukucindezeleka ngokomzwelo futhi kube yingozi kakhulu ekwakheni ubudlelwano.
Ivelaphi i-abandonment syndrome?
I-Abandonment syndrome ngokuvamile ivela ekuhlangenwe nakho okubuhlungu kwasebuntwaneni, ngokusho kochwepheshe abaningi bezengqondo. Lo muzwa onamandla wokushiywa, wenqatshwa noma wokuvalelwa ngaphandle kungenzeka ukuthi utholwe ngenxa yokuchayeka isikhathi eside kumuntu ongathembekile, ohlukumezayo noma ongekho (umzali, umzanyana, njll.).
Nakuba kuyiqiniso ukuthi ukwesaba ukulahlwa kungase kubangelwe kalula ezindabeni ezihlobene nomama kanye/noma ubaba, noma ibuphi ubuhlobo bungase bube yimbangela yesifo sokulahla. Ngokwesibonelo, ukushonelwa othandekayo nganoma isiphi isikhathi ezimpilweni zethu kungase futhi ukuboleka ekuthuthukiseni ukulahla syndrome. Ukwengeza, uma umlingani womshado noma umlingani wothando enquma ukuqeda ubuhlobo, lokhu kungaholela ekwesabeni ukulahlwa.
Izifo zezokwelapha nezengqondo, ukwenqatshwa kwezothando, ukuphathwa kabi emsebenzini noma ukungabi namathuba omsebenzi, noma ukucindezeleka ngokwezimali kungaba eminye imithombo ye-abandonment syndrome. Esimeni ngasinye, umuntu othintekile angase azizwe ethukuthele noma engaphephile, okungase kuphazamise ubudlelwano besikhathi esizayo.
Iyini imiphumela ye-abandonment syndrome?
I-Abandonment syndrome ingavela nge izimpawu ezingokomzwelo nezokuziphatha. Nakuba zingase zibonakale ngendlela ehlukile kwabanye abantu, izimpawu ezivame kakhulu zihlanganisa:
Ukukhathazeka kokulahlwa ngokuvamile kuhlotshaniswa nokuntuleka komshwalense. Ngokungabi nokuzethemba okuncane, abantu abanokwesaba ukulahlwa abazizwa bezolile emizweni yabo nobungane, umndeni, noma ubudlelwano bothando. Bazozizwa bengelutho futhi bakholelwe ukuthi abakufanele ukuba sebudlelwaneni nomuntu.
- Ukuncika ngokomzwelo
Ukuncika ngokomzwelo nakho kungenye yezimpawu ezixhumene nazo ukwesaba ukulahlwa. Ngempela, umuntu ohlaselwe yilesi sifo angasizwa isidingo sokuba khona kwabanye. Kuye, lokhu kuba khona kunomphumela oqinisekisayo futhi kusiza ukugwema ukukhathazeka.
- Ubudlelwano bezithandani obungalingani
Le abandonment syndrome kungabangela umuntu ukuba asunduze abanye, kodwa kungenzeka ukuthi kube nomphumela ophambene. Umuntu osaba ukulahlwa angase anqabe ukushiya umlingani wakhe, ngisho noma engene ebudlelwaneni obungenampilo. Angase esabe ukuthi ngeke akwazi ukuthola omunye umuntu noma akholelwe ukuthi akamfanele ukwelashwa okungcono.
- Kuphazamiseke ubudlelwano bomndeni
Kumuntu one-abandonment syndrome, ubudlelwano bomndeni buwumthombo wokukhathazeka. Ngokuvamile uba nobunzima bokwethemba abanye. Lokhu kuzoba nomthelela ekudaleni umoya onzima futhi onobuthi emndenini. Umuntu owesaba ukulahlwa ngeke akwazi ukuzisholo yena. Uzozizwa ephoxekile, esatshiswa, elahliwe futhi ekhungathekile. Ngenxa yalokhu, kungenzeka ukuthi uzoba kude, noma abe nolaka.
Indlela yokunqoba ukukhathazeka kokulahlwa?
Ukunqoba i-abandonment syndrome kungaba nzima. Kodwa akukephuzi kakhulu ukuqala ukwenza umzamo. Ikakhulukazi njengoba kungenzeka ukufunda amasu azokusiza.
Ngezindlela ezifanele, ungakwazi phulukisa futhi unqobe ukukhathazeka kwakho ukuze ukwazi ukukhuthaza nokugcina ubudlelwano obunempilo, obuhle empilweni yakho.
- Nquma isitayela sakho sokunamathiselwe
Sakha izitayela zokunamathisela phakathi nengane. Zincike endleleni abazali bethu abasiphatha ngayo. Bangathonya indlela esisabela ngayo kubantu kukho konke ukuphila kwethu ngemva kokuba sesikhulile.
Ukukhomba eyakho isitayela sokunamathiselwe ingakunikeza ukuqonda ngokwesaba kwakho futhi ikwenze ukwazi kabanzi ngokuziphatha kwakho. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ungafunda ukuxhumana nabanye ngezindlela ezinempilo. Nazi izitayela ezi-4 zokunamathisela eziyinhloko: okunamathiselwe okukhathazayo, okunamathiselwe okugwemayo, okunamathiselwe okungahlelekile, okunamathiselwe okuvikelekile.
- Hamba uzitholele wena
Nakuba kuvamile ukuba abantu abesabayo ukulahlwa ukuzizwa unamahloni, ukucabanga ngokwesaba kwakho kungakwenza kube lula ukukulawula. Lezi zinkathazo zivame ukujula futhi cishe ngeke ziphele uma ungazinaki. Ukubhekana nemizwa yakho kungakusiza wenze izinguquko ezinhle empilweni yakho.
- Funa usizo kumelaphi
I-Abandonment syndrome yi-a ububi obuyinkimbinkimbi futhi kungase kube nzima ukuzilawula uwedwa. Ngosizo lomelaphi, ungafunda kabanzi mayelana nokwesaba kwakho kanye nemvelaphi yakho. Isibonelo, i-psychotherapist izokwazi ukukusiza ukuthi uzikhulule ethonyeni lesikhathi esidlule esibuhlungu.
Shayela uchwepheshe wezempilo
Uzoqala qonda izimbangela zokulahla ama-syndromes ukuthi uhlangene. Lokhu kuzokusiza ukuthi uqale ukucubungula ukuhlukumezeka kwakho okwedlule futhi wakhe ubudlelwano obunempilo esikhathini samanje nasesikhathini esizayo.
I-bibliographic reference on abandonment syndrome
Nazi izikhombo eziyisikhombisa zebhayibhili ngesi-French ngendikimba ye-abandonment syndrome:
- Bowlby, J. (1983). Ukulahlekelwa: ukucindezeleka kanye ne-melancholy. Izinguqulo zenhlangano.
(Nakuba u-Bowlby engumbhali we-Anglo-Saxon, umsebenzi wakhe wokunamathisela ubalulekile ekuqondeni ukulahlwa kwesifo.) - I-Kernberg, OF (1999). Ukukhathazeka ngokwehlukana kanye ne-abandonment syndrome, e I-Psychoanalysis kanye ne-psychopathology. Paris: Éditions Dunod.
- Roussillon, R. (2005). Ubudlelwano bokunamathiselwe: imiphumela kubuntu kanye ne-psychopathology. I-Paris: Editions Erès.
(Lo msebenzi uhlola imithelela yokunamathiselwe kwasekuqaleni, exhunywe nesifo sokulahla.) - Favez, N. et al. (2009). Ubudlelwano bomzali nengane kanye ne-abandonment syndrome: izingqinamba nokungenelela. Ijenali yesiFulentshi yePsychoanalysis, 73 (2), 203-218.
- Guérin, E. (2010). I-Abandonment syndrome: izindlela zokwelapha nezomtholampilo. I-French psychiatry, 85 (4), 299-312.
- Bourguignon, M. (2013). Umthelela we-abandonment syndrome empilweni yemizwa nobudlelwano, e I-psychology yokunamathisela. I-Paris: I-PUF Editions.
- Mourot, G. (2017). I-Abandonment syndrome kanye nokuqina: isifundo secala kanye nezindlela zokwelapha. Ukubuyekezwa Kwengqondo, 62 (1), 45-58.
Lezi zikhombo zizokunikeza isiqalo esihle sokuhlola isihloko se-abandonment syndrome ngezindlela ezahlukene.
Isiphetho
Sengiphetha, i-abandonment syndrome iyiqiniso eliyinkimbinkimbi elithinta kakhulu ubudlelwano phakathi kwabantu, kungaba ezothando, ubungane noma umndeni. Ukuqonda umsuka wayo kanye nokubonakaliswa kwayo kubalulekile ukuze kuqalwe inqubo yokuphulukisa. Ngokuzihlola okuqotho kanye nokwesekwa kochwepheshe, kungenzeka ukunqoba lokhu kwesaba okukhubazayo futhi kwakhiwe ubudlelwano obunempilo nobulinganiselayo. Ngokusondela ku-abandonment syndrome ngozwela nokuvuleleka, wonke umuntu angaba nethemba lokuthola indlela eya ebudlelwaneni obanelisayo nobuyiqiniso.
Nginentshisekelo nge-psychology, ngasebenza emkhakheni wezezimali iminyaka eyi-10. Njengomphathi omkhulu ngaphatha amaqembu abantu abangaphezu kuka-200. I-psychology yawo wonke umuntu iyindawo yonke ngokwayo futhi ngokuqinisekile iyisihluthulelo sempumelelo yalawa mabhizinisi!
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Futhi kuyindlela yokusiza abantu, njengoba nami ngiye ngakwazi ukuthola usizo kubantu engingabazi kukho konke ukuphila kwami. Akukhona kuphela abahlanekezeli be-narcissistic kulo mhlaba futhi ngenhlanhla! Lapha sisiza abantu baqonde ukuthi kwenzekani kubo futhi badlulele empilweni engenazo ama-narcissists - impilo yakho engcono kakhulu! Awuwedwa futhi ungenza ushintsho ukuze uphile impilo eyanelisayo, egcwele ukuthula, ukuzwana nothando!
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