La ugqweso lwe-narcissistic zange kuphinde kuthethwe ngaye kunangoku. Mhlawumbi uyazibuza ukuba le ndlela yokuziphatha izibonakalisa njani. Isiseko kukuxoka, ukwahlula ixhoba nokulenza lizive linetyala. Kunzima ukucacisa ukuziphatha okunjalo xa uphambene ngothando neqabane lakho okanye umfazi wakho.
Ubudlelwane kunye ne-manipulator-Ubudlelwane buhamba njani?
Ngokubanzi, inokwenzeka ngendlela engavumelekanga, njengalo naluphi na ulwalamano lwesibini. Awuyiboni into embi ezayo kwiiveki ezidlulayo. Kodwa kuqala uya kukulawula, ukuze umthande ngokupheleleyo.
Kugxininiswa kwasekuqaleni ukuba olu hlobo lomntu lunokuba ngumfazi.
Ngalo mntu, ukholelwa eluthandweni ekuqaleni kokubona, imvakalelo ongazange uyive ixesha elide. Uthando lwenu luyahambelana, yonke into ibonakala iqhelekile, kwaye nobabini niqala ukujonga kude kakhulu kwixesha elizayo.
- Amazwi othando kunye nezimbo zothando apheliswa ngokukhawuleza yintetho engafanelekanga kunye nokugculelwa. Uyaqaphela ukuba ngamanye amaxesha ubonakala engathandani kwaphela.
- Kwaye ke, uqala ukuqaphela okungaqhelekanga kwizijekulo zakhe, ngakumbi kumazwi akhe. Kodwa ixhoba liya kuqinisekisa ukuba yonke into kukungaqondani kunye nombono. Isizathu sikukuba ukwazi kakuhle kangangokuba angakulawula ngendlela athanda ngayo.
- Emva koko kuza ukuthotywa esidlangalaleni, kwindibano yosapho, ngexesha le-snack noogxa bakhe okanye phakathi kwabahlobo abasenyongweni. Wenza ihlaya ngokuchasene nawe kuko konke ukuzonwabisa, kwaye ngaphandle kwenjongo embi, nangona ibuhlungu ngqo kuwe. Usuke akubhidanise ngezongxengxezo ngesenzo sakhe, esithi wenzela nje ukuzonwabisa, yiloo nto ''i joke'' .
Ngaba i-manipulator ingatshintsha uthando?
Side sikholelwe ukuba impendulo yalo mbuzo inokuwacima onke amathandabuzo ethu. Ekubeni umntu ethandana nalo mntu, impendulo kufuneka ibe ngu-EWE, kuba uthando lususa bonke ububi kwaye lutshintshe isimo somntu. Ngelishwa impendulo ithi, HAYI.
Okokuqala, siqala ngengcambu yengxaki, i Umlukuhli ogwenxa ayiyi kutshintsha. Ngokutsho kwe-psychotherapist, "ukuba akachaphazeleki kancinci, amandla othando anokuhlala" (Anne-Clotilde Ziegler).
Kulumkele ukuba nethemba elilize lokuba umntu uya kutshintsha. Kwanokuba umnike lonke uthando nengqalelo ayidingayo, akanakukwazi ukutshintsha. Bonisa ukuba ufanelwe ngcono, ukuba ulufanele uthando lwakho.
Ngaba unokwenza i-manipulator ye-narcissistic ithandane?
Ngaphandle kokunqwenela ukuthomalalisa inkohliso yakho, ukukhohlisa kwe-narcissistic kukuqala kwaye kuqala yi-pathology. Ikwasisigulo ngokwasengqondweni. Umntu ogulayo akanazo iimvakalelo, nto leyo eyenza kube nzima kakhulu ukuba nobudlelwane bothando nomntu oqhelekileyo.
Nangona kunjalo, ingxaki enkulu ngokutsho kwengcali, “Okukhona ekuthanda, kokukhona ekutshabalalisayo. » Ngoko ke, ukuba ucinga ngokugcina ubudlelwane obuhlala buhleli nomntu one-pathology enjalo, uthando alusoze lwanele. Usenako ukulinganisa uthando olusakhulayo okanye lokwenyani, ngenxa yolonwabo lwakho olukhulu. Lumka, ukumenza athandane akuyi kuba lula.
Ukuba ubonisana nobungqina babantu abaye bangamaxhoba, uya kubona ukuba i-90% yabo baye baqaphela ukuba i-manipulator ayitshintshi kwaye ayiyi kutshintsha. Uyayazi into obuyilindele.
Kutheni i-narcissistic ingakwazi ukutshintsha?
Unomkhwa wokugxeka yonke into kwabanye. Akaze azamkele iimpazamo zakhe, kunye neziphumo zezenzo zakhe. Ukuze atshintshe, kwaye ngokukodwa ngenxa yothando, kufuneka asebenzise iindlela zakhe ezintathu ezingenakuhlukaniswa:
- Makayiqaphele ingxaki anayo, naleyo ayibangele ngempazamo yakhe;
- Makazive enesidingo sokwenza izinto ezintsha, ukuze utshintsho lwenzeke;
- Makenze ngokufanelekileyo;
Ngaphezu kwako konke, ungawathembi amazwi akhe, angabalulekanga ngokubanzi kwaye onke ancomayo. Jonga izenzo zakhe, izenzo zakhe ukuqonda ngokwenene iinjongo zakhe ukutshintsha.
Kaninzi, uyathanda ukuzigwagwisa ukuba akubeke phantsi. Ngaphezu koko, umntu ogqwethekileyo we-narcissistic uyakwazi ukuthetha ngaye njengomntu onesiphiwo sobulumko nolwazi, okhuliswe yinkcubeko, ukuba ungamkholisi kakhulu. I-manipulator iyakuthanda ukubandakanyeka kwiingxoxo ezingenamsebenzi ukuze ikucaphukise kwimibandela emininzi, njengeengxaki zentsapho, ubudlelwane bakhe bangaphambili, iingxaki zakho kunye ne-ex yakho.
Ungazi njani ukuba u-manipulator uyakuthanda?
Ukwazi ukuba umntu okhohlisayo uyalithanda ixhoba lakhe kunzima kakhulu. Ngokubanzi, ezi ntlobo zabantu ziyayazi indlela yokukhohlisa uthando lokwenyani, njengabantu abaqhelekileyo.
Ngokutsho kwe-psychotherapist, "Umhlaseli uya kuthanda njengoko uthanda into ezisela iwonga". Ukuba esweni ukuziphatha kwakhe, uya kubona ukuba uya kuvuthela kushushu kwaye kubanda, ukuba ubuxoki obugqwethekileyo ngokuzenzekelayo kuyo yonke into kwaye ngaphezu kwayo yonke into, akayi kucaca kwiimvakalelo zakhe.
Kungenzeka ukuba uziva ulungelelene, kuba ewe, kuya kubakho utshintshiselwano lokujonga, iimpawu ezahlukileyo zothando kunye nothando, kodwa oku kukukhohlisa nje, kunye ne-utopian.
Ireferensi yebhayibhilografi
Nazi iireferensi ezisixhenxe zebhayibhili ezijongana nombuzo wokuba kunokwenzeka ukuba umntu okhohlisayo atshintshe uthando:
- Hirigoyen, M.-F (1998). Ukuxhatshazwa ngokokuziphatha: Ugonyamelo olugqwethekileyo mihla le. EParis: eSyros.
- Tisseron, S. (2010). Iimfihlo zosapho: Ukusuka ekudluliseleni ukuya kwisityhilelo. EParis: PUF.
- Cyrulnik, B. (2001). Ilishwa elimangalisayo. EParis: Odile Jacob.
- USalome, J. (2004). Isibindi sokuba nguwe. EParis: uAlbin Michel.
- Ancelin Schützenberger, A. (1998). Yho, zinyanya zam!. EParis: Desclée de Brouwer.
- Cungi, C., & Lemoine, M. (2008). Zixelele kwaye unxibelelane. EParis: Retz.
- Lejoyeux, M. (2017). Ubuntu obunzima. EParis: Odile Jacob.
Le misebenzi inika iimbono ezahlukeneyo malunga nohlobo lokuziphatha okukhohlisayo kunye nombuzo wokuyilungisa ngothando.
isiphelo
Inyaniso iya kuxelwa, i-manipulator ayikwazi ukutshintsha. Kwelinye icala, inokubonisa indaleko ngokobuthathaka bexhoba layo. Ukuba uziva uloyiko oluqhelekileyo okanye amathandabuzo, uyazi ukuba angazisebenzisa njani ukuze afune utshintsho ngaphandle kokuhlala ixesha elide.
Nje, i-manipulator inokutshintsha, emva kokuqonda umonakalo owenziweyo ngeenxa zonke kuye. Kufuneka kuqala akwazi ukusibona isiseko sokwenene seengxaki zakhe aze ngaloo ndlela alwe needemon zakhe ezindala ukuze afezekise oku.
Olu tshintsho alunakuxhomekeka kuwe kodwa kuye kuphela. Kufuneka sivule amehlo akhe kwizenzo zakhe, simxelele ngokuthe ngqo ngeempazamo zakhe ngaphandle kokulungiswa. Le ndlela sesinye sezisombululo ezinqabileyo kwi-pathology yakhe.
Mhlawumbi ubulindele ummangaliso ngequbuliso kodwa ungakhohliswa. Kuphela yinguqu yokwenyani evela kuthi sonke, ngomoya wethu.
Amanye amanqaku kufuneka uwajonge:
- Indawo ebuthathaka ye-Manipulator
- Ukusabela kwe-Manipulator xa umshiyile
- Imen Es Mayday
- Iimpawu zokuKhanya ngegesi
- U-Imen nguMgqwethi weNarcissistic
- I-Narcissistic egqwethiweyo ye-manipulator
- Umbhexeshi ngokweemvakalelo
Ndinomdla ngengqondo, ndasebenza kwicandelo lezemali iminyaka eyi-10. Njenge-CEO ndilawule amaqela abantu abangaphezu kwama-200. Ingqondo yomntu wonke yindalo ngokwayo kwaye ngokuqinisekileyo isitshixo kwimpumelelo yala mashishini!
Ngesiza se-perversnarcissique.org kunye nesisa u-Je M'Aime, ndabelana ngolwazi lwam ngalo mbandela kunye namava am obomi kumxholo we-narcissism kunye ne-narcissistic perversion, isibetho kuluntu lwethu. Kum esi sifo yingxaki yokwenyani yempilo yoluntu, eyaziwa kancinci, nangona sichaphazela phantse isiqingatha sabemi ngokwemigangatho eyahlukeneyo.
Ikwayindlela yokunceda abantu, njengoko ndiye ndakwazi ukufumana uncedo kubantu endingabaziyo ubomi bam bonke. Akukho zigqwetheki narcissistic kuphela kweli hlabathi kwaye ngethamsanqa! Apha sinceda abantu baqonde okwenzekayo kubo kwaye badlulele kubomi obungenazo ii-narcissists - ubomi bakho obungcono! Awuwedwa kwaye unokwenza utshintsho ukuze uphile ubomi obanelisayo, obugcwele uxolo, imvisiswano kunye nothando!
- Iyure yesipili nge-15:00 p.m.: umyalezo wothando, iingelosi, umsebenzi -Disemba 2, 2025
- I-Electra's complex: Ukuqonda le nto inzima kayise nentombi -Disemba 2, 2025
- I-Emotional Blackmail: Ungayibona njani? -Disemba 2, 2025