Impembelelo kunye nokukhohlisa kungundoqo kwizicwangciso ezisetyenziswa ngabagqwethi be-narcissistic kubudlelwane babo.La yokusingatha Ngaba uhlobo lwempembelelo efihlakeleyo okanye efihliweyo, apho umntu afuna ukuya khona ukwalathisa iingcinga, iimvakalelo, okanye indlela yokuziphatha yabanye kwingenelo kabani, ngaphandle kwemvume enolwazi lomntu ophethweyo.
Ihlala isekwe kwi:
- la enobuqhetseba, ubuxoki,ukushiywa, okanye ukuzibeka ityala;
- un ukungalingani kobudlelwane;
- umnqweno woku ulawulo okanye ulawulo.
🔎 Umzekelo: ukwenza umntu azive enetyala ukuze enze into ebengayi kuyenza ngokwakhe.
🌱 Inkcazo yempembelelo (elungileyo okanye engathathi hlangothi):
L 'impembelelo, kwelinye icala, elubala nokunyaniseka. Ibhekisela kwisenzo sokwenza umntu atshintshe ingqondo okanye ukuziphatha kwakhe ngokubonisa izimvo zakhe, iingxoxo, okanye umzekelo, ngelixa ehlonipha inkululeko yomnye umntu.
Isenokuba:
- ukuqonda kunye nokubuyiselana;
- ngokusekelwe kwi isisa, ngokwengqiqo, iimvakalelo ezintle okanye zobunkokeli.
🔎 Umzekelo: Khuthaza ugxa wakho ukuba alungelelanise ngcono ngokubabonisa eyakho indlela esebenzayo.
⚖️ Ukuqhatha vs. Impembelelo: Uthelekiso
| Ikhrayitheriya | Ukunyanzelisa | Impembelelo |
|---|---|---|
| elubala | Ifihliwe, ngokungathanga ngqo | Vula, ngokucacileyo |
| Injongo | Ngokufuthi kukuzingca okanye ukuba nolunya | Ngokuqhelekileyo inobubele okanye ingathathi hlangothi |
| Ukuhlonela inkululeko yokuzikhethela | Ayihlonitshwa | Uhlonitshiwe |
| Izixhobo ezisetyenzisiweyo | Ubutyala, uloyiko, ukudideka, ukubopha kabini | Ingxoxo, uvelwano, umzekelo |
| wokuya | Ukungathembani, ukuxhomekeka, ukubandezeleka | Ukuzithemba, inkuthazo, ukuzimela |
Iziseko zengqondo zempembelelo kunye nokukhohlisa
Impembelelo kunye nokukhwabanisa kusekelwe kwiindlela ezinzulu zengqondo. I-narcissistic pervert ngobuchule isebenzisa ezi zixhobo ukuseka ulawulo lwakhe:
- Imfuneko yokuba ube: Sonke sifuna ukuziva samkelekile yaye sixatyiswa. I-narcissistic pervert idlala kule mfuno ngokutshintshana phakathi kwe-valorization kunye nokwaliwa.
- Ukuphindaphindana: Sithanda ukubuyisela oko sikunikiweyo. Umgqwethi we-narcissistic usebenzisa iimpawu zothando zobuxoki ukudala ukuziva unetyala.
- Ukuzibophelela kunye nokungaguquguquki: Nje ukuba sizibophelele endleleni, sithanda ukuzingisa. Umntu ogqwethekileyo we-narcissistic utyhala ixhoba lakhe ukuba lizinikele kancinci kancinci.
- Ubungqina boluntu: Sithembele kwindlela yokuziphatha yabanye ukuba ikhokele eyethu. Umntu ogqwethekileyo we-narcissistic ubeka ixhoba lakhe ukuba libe linye isalathiso sakhe.
- Igunya: Sithanda ukuthobela abantu abanegunya. Umgqwethi we-narcissistic uzibeka njengomphathi wolwazi nenyaniso.
- Ukunqongophala : Into enqabileyo ibonakala inqweneleka ngakumbi kuthi. Umntu ogqwethekileyo we-narcissistic wenza uthando lwakhe lunqabile kwaye luxabiseke emehlweni exhoba lakhe.
Ubuchule bokulawula kunxibelelwano
e. I ukuphindaphinda
- Umgaqo: Ukuphindaphinda umyalezo ukuze wamkelwe njengenyaniso. Imizekelo: iintengiso, ipropaganda yezopolitiko.
- Isiphumo: Ukudala umbono ongeyonyani ngenyani kunye nefuthe kwizigqibo ngaphandle kokucinga nzulu.
b. THE ukucoca
- Umgaqo: Ukutshintsha indlela ulwazi olubonwa ngayo ukuze kutshintshwe indlela olutolikwa ngayo. Umzekelo: "Oku akusikuko ukusilela, lithuba lokufunda."
- Isiphumo: Ukulawula iimvakalelo ngokuguqula imbono yemeko.
c. THE amandla egunya
- Umgaqo: Sebenzisa umntu onegunya ukucenga. Umzekelo: ingcali okanye umntu odumileyo ocebisa imveliso.
- Isiphumo: Ukudala uxinzelelo loluntu olwenza kube nzima ukubuza ulwazi okanye imfuno.
d. L'ubulungu beqela
- Umgaqo: Sebenzisa imfuno yokuba nefuthe ekuphembeleleni ukuziphatha. Umzekelo: "Wonke umntu wenza oku, kufuneka nawe."
- Isiphumo: Ukulawula izigqibo ngokusebenzisa kakubi umnqweno wokuhambelana neqela.
e. THE ukuphazamiseka kwengqalelo
- Umgaqo: Jonga iinkcukacha ezingabalulekanga ukuze uphephe ukuxoxa ngezihloko ezibaluleke ngakumbi. Umzekelo: ukuphazamiseka kwiindaba.
- Isiphumo: Ukufihla ulwazi olubalulekileyo okanye ukuphambukisa ingqalelo kwiingxaki ezibalulekileyo.
f. THE ulwimi lweemvakalelo
- Umgaqo: Ukusebenzisa iimvakalelo ezinamandla ukuvuselela isenzo ngaphandle kokuqiqa okusengqiqweni. Umzekelo: ukudlala ngoloyiko, ubutyala, okanye uvelwano ukuze ulawule abanye.
- Isiphumo: Ukuphazamisa izakhono zokuhlalutya ngokunzulu nokwenza umntu abe sesichengeni sokuchaphazeleka.
g. THE bopha kabini (isimo esiphikisanayo)
- Umgaqo: Nika ukhetho apho, kuzo zonke iimeko, umntu enyanzelekile ukuba akhethe isisombululo. Umzekelo: "Nokuba uyasamkela esi sicelo, okanye uchasene nathi."
- Isiphumo: Ukudala imeko apho umntu aziva evaleleke kwaye kufuneka enze ukhetho ngaphandle kokunye okunokwenzeka.
Ubuchwephesha bempembelelo efihlakeleyo ye-narcissistic pervert
I-narcissistic pervert isebenzisa yonke i-arsenal yeendlela ezifihlakeleyo zempembelelo:
- Ukulawula uvakalelo: Udlala ngeemvakalelo zexhoba lakhe, etshintshana phakathi kwamaxesha ovuyo olukhulu namaxesha okubandezeleka. Le yo-yo yeemvakalelo idala ukuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo.
- Le ukukhanyisa ngegesi : Wenza ukuba ixhoba lakhe lithandabuze imbono yalo ngobunyani, ngokukhanyela okanye ngokugqwetha izibakala. Oku kunciphisa ukuzithemba kwaye kukwenza uxhomekeke kwisigqibo sakho.
- La triangulation : Wazisa umntu wesithathu kubudlelwane ukuze avuse umona nokungakhuseleki. Oku komeleza ulawulo lwakhe ngokugcina ixhoba lakhe lizikhusela.
- Le thanda ibhombu : Ekuqaleni kobudlelwane, ugqithisa ixhoba lakhe ingqalelo kunye nothando. Oku kudala umanyano olomeleleyo kunye nombono onokuthi ixhoba lifune ukubuyela kulo.
- Unyango oluthuleyo: Ulohlwaya ixhoba lakhe ngamaxesha athi cwaka nokungakhathali. Oku kutyhala ixhoba ukuba lenze konke ukubuyisela ingqalelo yalo.
Ubutyala njengendlela yokulawula
La ukuxhaphaza ubutyala bubuchule bengqondo obudla ngokusetyenziswa ngabakhohlisayo ukulawula okanye ukuphembelela umntu ngokumenza uxanduva lwento ethile, edla ngokungalunganga. Le yindlela eqhelekileyo kubudlelwane obuyityhefu (usapho, uthando, ubuchwephesha, njl.njl.), apho i-manipulator ifuna ukumenza buthathaka omnye ngokudlala kwizazela zabo, ukuziphatha okanye iimvakalelo zabo.
🔍 Isebenza njani?
I-manipulator isebenzisa ubutyala:
- Ukwenza abanye baphendule ngezenzo zabo okanye iimvakalelo zabo.
- Ukufumana inzuzo ngaphandle kokubuza ngokuthe ngqo.
- Kuphephe ukuthatha uxanduva lweempazamo zakho ngokubeka ityala kwabanye.
- Ukugcina ulawulo lwengqondo ngokwenza buthathaka ukuzithemba kwexhoba.
🧠 Imizekelo ebambekayo:
-
Ubudlelwane bomzali nomntwana:
"Ngayo yonke into endikwenzele yona, uyandiphoxa..."
Oku kuthetha ukuba umntwana akanalo ilungelo lokuphila ngokokhetho lwakhe ngaphandle kokulimaza umzali. -
Isibini:
"Ukuba ubundithanda ngenene, ubuya kundenzela le nto."
Sityhala omnye ukuba enze ngokuchasene nemilinganiselo yethu okanye intuthuzelo yethu ngenxa yokoyika ukuphulukana nothando. -
Umsebenzi :
"Bendithembele kuwe, awuzukundiphoxa ngoku."
Nokuba umsebenzi oceliweyo awukho kwindawo yakho yoxanduva okanye sele ukulayishile.
🛡️ Uzikhusela njani?
- Chonga umzekelo: Zibuze ukuba ngaba ngokwenene unetyala ngento otyholwa ngayo.
- Ukuvavanya ukufaneleka kwesicelo: Ngaba sinobulungisa, silungelelene, okanye sigqithise?
- Ukubeka imida: Ukuthi hayi ngaphandle kokuzithethelela ngokungapheliyo.
- Jika umbuzo ujikeleze:
"Kutheni undenza ndithathe olu xanduva?" »
🔥 Yena Ukukhanyisa: Xa umntu ekwenza ungathandabuzi ubunyani bakho
Le ukukhanyisa ngegesi (okanye "ukujonga igesi" ngesiFrentshi, okubhekisa kumdlalo apho indoda iphambanisa umfazi wayo ngokuguqula iinkcukacha zokwenyani) ngumdlalo indlela yokukhohlisa ingqondo ejolise ukwenza umntu angathandabuzi indlela abona ngayo izinto, inkumbulo yakhe, okanye impilo yakhe yengqondo.
🎭 Isebenza njani?
I-manipulator iya:
- Ukukhanyela iinyani ezicacileyo ozibonileyo okanye ozivileyo.
- Nciphisa ukuzithemba kwakho kwisigwebo sakho.
- Baza kuyijika imeko ibe yimbi kuwe, bakutyhole ngokuba novelwano kakhulu, uloyiko, nokungazinzi…
- Yenza ukudideka ukuze ukwazi ukulawula nokulawula ngcono.
🧠 Imizekelo ebambekayo:
-
Ujongana nomntu ngobuxoki obucacileyo:
"Undixelele oko izolo."
👉 "Wenza izinto. Awuqondanga kwakhona." -
Uziva unomsindo okanye ulusizi malunga nemeko engalunganga:
👉 "Uneemvakalelo kakhulu, uhlala ubaxa."
-
Isimilo esibuhlungu siyakhatywa okanye sijikwe:
"Undikhwaze!" »
👉 "Nguwe ondihlaseleyo. Bendizolile."
⚠️ Iziphumo zokulayita igesi:
- Ukuzithemba rhoqo
- Ukuziva "uphambene"
- Ukunyuka kokuxhomekeka kwi-manipulator
- Ukwahlulwa okuqhubelekayo
🛡️ Uzikhusela njani?
- Ugcina umkhondo: imiyalezo, iidayari, ubungqina obucacileyo.
- Kholosa ingqiqo yakho: ukuba uvakalelwa kukuba kukho into engalunganga, kukho isizathu soko.
- Thetha nomntu ongathathi cala: abahlobo, ingcali yezonyango, umqeqeshi.
- Qinisekisa ukuba inyani yakho ayikuvumeli ukuba ikujike:
"Ndiyayazi into endiyibonileyo/endiyifumeneyo. Le ayiyongxoxo."
Iziqhulo ezibuhlungu
Les Iziqhulo ezibuhlungu yindlela echuliweyo yokulawula iimvakalelo. Badla ngokusetyenziswa Ukunyelisa, ukuhlazisa, okanye ukuthoba umntu phantsi kwesimo sokuhleka okanye sokuba nomsindo. Olu hlobo lokuhlekisa luxhomekeke kwinto yokuba ixhoba alinakuzikhusela ngaphandle kokubonakala linzulu kakhulu, linomsindo, okanye lingenamahlaya. Sekunjalo, linokuba nemiphumo ehlala ihleli ekuzithembeni nasekuzithembeni.
💥 Isebenza njani?
Iziqhulo ezibuhlungu:
- Zijolise kwiindawo ezibuthathaka zomntu (inkangeleko yakhe, ubukrelekrele bakhe, ubuthathaka bakhe, iziphene zakhe, njl.njl.).
- Bamjongela phantsi okanye bamjongele phantsi omnye umntu, ngoxa besenza ngathi yintlekisa nje.
- Balawula iimvakalelo: emva kokuqhula, ixhoba liziva lihlazekile okanye libuhlungu kodwa linobunzima bokulichaza ngaphandle kokubonakala "linzulu kakhulu" okanye "linovelwano".
- Ziqinisa ukungalingani kulwalamano: umntu okhohlisayo uzibeka ngaphezu komnye ngokumenza abe sesichengeni sokugculelwa ngokuphindaphindiweyo.
🧠 Imizekelo eqhelekileyo:
-
Kwinkangeleko yomzimba:
"Owu, utyebile kwakhona, huh?" Kuyakufanela, kuyahlekisa! » (Ngaphantsi koburharha, omnye ujongelwa phantsi emzimbeni wakhe.)
-
Kubukrelekrele:
"Kuyahlekisa, kodwa ngamanye amaxesha uyacotha ukubamba, akunjalo?" » (Ukuthotywa kubonwa “njengokuqhula” kwaye kujongela phantsi izakhono zomntu.)
-
Kwiziganeko ezinzima zobomi:
"Ngaba ngokwenene uyafuna ukutshata nalo mfana?" Uyamkhumbula ex yakho, akunjalo? Kuya kuba njalo! » (Ukuhleka kusekelwe ekubuzeni isiganeko esibalulekileyo nesomntu.)
-
Kubuthathaka okanye iimpazamo ezidlulileyo:
"Ah, uzophinda uyilibale lonto, andithi?" Uhlala unentloko emafini. » (Impazamo iyahlekisa, nto leyo ethintela umntu ekufundeni ngaphandle kokuhlekwa.)
⚠️ Iziphumo zeziqhulo ezenzakalisayo:
- Ukuphulukana nokuzithemba, njengoko ixhoba liqala ukuthandabuza ukubaluleka kwalo.
- Ukuziva uneentloni nangona kungekho sizathu sivakalayo.
- Ukwahlukaniswa kwezentlalo: ukuba abanye bajoyina ihlaya okanye bangayibuzi, oku komeleza ukuthotywa.
- Ukuxinezeleka kunye nokuxhalaba: ngokuphindaphindiweyo ukujongana namahlaya alolu hlobo, umntu unokuziva ehlala ekhusela.
🛡️ Usabela njani kolu hlobo lokuqhula?
- Thatha inyathelo emva: Musa ukuphendula ngokungxama.
- Misela imida eqinileyo:
-
"Andiluxabisi olu hlobo lwehlaya, aluhlekisi kum."
-
- Phendula ngokuhlaziya izinto ngendlela ezolileyo:
-
"Ndicinga ukuba awuqondi ukuba kubuhlungu kangakanani kum."
-
- Tshintsha umxholo okanye ungayihoyi ingxelo:
Ngamanye amaxesha, ukwala ukudlala umdlalo ohlekisayo kunokukhupha isixhobo se-manipulator.
Le I-narcissistic pervert ihlala isebenzisa i I-cognitive dissonance isetyenziswa njengesixhobo esifihlakeleyo sokulawula nokulawula amaxhoba. Injongo yalo kukudala ukuphikisana engqondweni yexhoba, likhokelela ekubeni lithandabuze inyani yabo, iimbono kunye neemvakalelo zabo. Oku kunokubangela ukudideka kwengqondo, ukuphelelwa ukuzithemba, nokuziva ungakhululekanga ngokwasengqondweni.
🔥 Indima ye-cognitive dissonance kwi-narcissistic pervert:
I-narcissistic pervert yingcali kubugcisa bokudala iimeko apho ixhoba livakalelwa ingxabano yangaphakathi. Ngokufaka iingcamango eziphikisanayo, umntu okhohlisayo wenza ixhoba lingasazi ukuba yintoni eyinyani, yintoni engeyonyani, aze agqibele ngokuzityhola okanye ukuzivumelanisa nenguqulelo egqwethekileyo yeziganeko ezicetywa ngumntu othanda izinto ezingaqhelekanga.
💥 Imizekelo ebambekayo yokungavisisani ngokwengqondo kwigqwethe le-narcissistic:
1. Ukunciphisa ukuziphatha kakubi:
-
Imeko: Umxhaphazi othanda ukuzingca uhlala ekugxeka, ekugxeka, okanye ekujongela phantsi. Kodwa kwangoko nje ukuba uphendule, uthi:
"Owu, kodwa ibiyintlekisa nje! Uyalungisa izinto!"
-
I-cognitive dissonance: Uyazi ukuba amazwi akhe ayebuhlungu, kodwa wenza ukuba uthandabuze ubunzulu bemeko. Uyazibuza enoba usabela kakhulu kusini na, nto leyo ekufaka ekungaqiniseki.
-
Isiphumo: Ukusoloko ufumana olu hlobo lokuphendula kukukhokelela ekubeni uzibuze ngendlela ozibona ngayo izinto uze uqale ukuziva unetyala ngendlela osabela ngayo. Oku kukushukumisela ukuba unyamezele ukuhlaziswa okungakumbi ngaphandle kokuzikhusela.
2. Imidlalo yokungakhathali kunye nokuqina kweemvakalelo:
-
Imeko: Umntu ogqwethekileyo we-narcissistic unokuthandeka ngendlela emangalisayo kwaye athathele ingqalelo ngenye imini, kodwa ukude ngokupheleleyo, nokuba ukhohlakele, olandelayo. Emva kwexesha lokuchaswa okanye ukungakhathali, babuya becela uxolo nezithembiso zokutshintsha.
"Uxolo, bendingafuni kukwenzakalisa, uyazi ukuba ubaluleke kakhulu kum."
-
Ukungavisisani kwengqondo: Ixhoba litshintshatshintsha phakathi kweenyani ezimbini eziphikisanayo: ukuziphatha okungakhathaliyo nokukhohlakeleyo kwelinye icala, kunye nokuxolisa kunye nexesha lokunika ingqalelo kwelinye icala.
-
Isiphumo: Olu mahluko ludala ukungavisisani engqondweni yexhoba, eliqala ukukholelwa ukuba mhlawumbi okwenzekileyo bekungekubi kangako, okanye ukuba umntu othanda izinto ezingaqhelekanga ngumntu onovelwano kakhulu "ofanelwe" lithuba lesibini.
3. Uqikelelo kunye nokuguqulwa kwendima:
-
Imeko: Umxhaphazi we-narcissistic wenza izigxeko ezingenasihlahla okanye akubeke ityala ngeempazamo zakhe. Baza kuveza ezabo iziphoso kuwe.
“Uzingca, awukhe ucinge ngam!” »
Okanye :
"Nguwe owenze lempazamo, kutheni usoloko undibeka endaweni yokuba ndilungise yonke into?" » -
Ukungaqondani kakuhle kwengqondo: Ngaphakathi entliziyweni uyazi ukuba awunaxanduva, kodwa indlela azama ngayo ukukweyisela ngenye indlela ikwenza uzithandabuze.
-
Impembelelo: Ngokusoloko utyholwa ngobuxoki, uqalisa ukucinga ukuba kuyinyaniso ukuba uziphatha ngokuzingca, nokuba akunjalo. Oku komeleza ukuziva unetyala kwaye kunciphisa ukugweba kwakho.
4. Ukwahlukaniswa kunye nolawulo:
-
Imeko: Umxhaphazi we-narcissistic uzama ukukwahlula kubahlobo okanye kusapho lwakho ngokwenza ukholelwe ukuba bachasene nawe okanye ababuqondi ubudlelwane. Basenokuthi:
"Uyabona, usapho lwakho / abahlobo bakho abakuthandi ncam, bahlala bezama ukwenza ukuba undithandabuze."
Okanye :
"Ukuba uyabamamela kwakhona, uya kuphelelwa yinto esinayo." -
I-cognitive dissonance: Ixhoba lizifumana liqhekekile phakathi kobudlelwane babo bangaphandle, obunyanisekileyo, kunye nomntu oxelela ukuba obu budlelwane buyingozi.
-
Isiphumo: Ugqibela ngokuzahlula kwabanye abantu kwaye ungathandabuzi uthando nenkxaso yabo bakungqongileyo. Ixhoba lixhomekeka ngakumbi kumxhaphazi othanda ukuzingca, olawula kancinci kancinci imeko-bume yakhe.
5. "Lityala lakho":
-
Imeko: Umxhaphazi othanda ukuzingca udla ngokusebenzisa ubuqhetseba ukuze akwenze uxanduva lokuziphatha kwakhe okubi. Emva kwengxabano okanye ingxabano, banokuthi:
"Ukuba ubungayenzanga loo nto, ngendingazange ndiphendule ngolo hlobo."
-
Ukungavisisani kwengqondo: Ixhoba liyazi ukuba ukuziphatha kwalo mntu uzithandabuzayo bekungafanelekanga, kodwa umntu okhohlisayo uyakwazi ukumenza angathandabuzi uxanduva lwakhe.
-
Isiphumo: Endaweni yokubona ukuba umntu othanda ukuzingca unesimo sengqondo esinobungozi, ixhoba liqala ukuziva linetyala kwaye licinge ukuba lilo elibangele loo meko, ngaloo ndlela linciphisa amandla alo kwaye lomeleze amandla omntu okhohlisayo.
🛡️ Indlela yokulawula i-cognitive dissonance kubudlelwane kunye ne-narcissistic pervert?
- Ukuthatha inyathelo emva: Kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuba le nto uyivayo ifanelekile kwaye ukukhohlisa komxhaphazi we-narcissistic kujonge ukudodobalisa imbono yakho. Musa ukubanjiswa ngumjikelo wokuphikisana.
- Ukubonisana nomntu wesithathu ongenanto yakwenza nomcimbi: Ukuthetha nomhlobo othembekileyo, ingcali yezonyango, okanye nelungu losapho kunokunceda ekufumaneni umbono ocacileyo ngeziganeko nokuqinisekisa inyani yangaphandle.
- Ukukhumbula iinyani: Ukubhala phantsi iziganeko, amazwi, kunye nokuziphatha komntu oxhaphazayo othanda izinto ezingaqhelekanga kunokunceda ukugcina umbono ochanekileyo. Oku kunceda ukuthintela ukoyiswa ziindlela zakhe zokukhohlisa.
- Misela imida eqinileyo: Funda ukuthi hayi kwaye ungavumi ukuqhathwa. Oku kunokuba nzima, kodwa kubalulekile ukukhululeka kule mpembelelo inobungozi.
Ulawulo lwengqondo njengokukhohlisa umgqwethi
Impembelelo ye-narcissistic pervert iphinda isetyenziswe kwinqanaba leengcamango kunye neenkolelo:
- Ukugqwethwa kwamaxabiso: Uyichaza ngokuthe ngcembe imilinganiselo yokuziphatha yexhoba lakhe ukuze athethelele indlela yakhe yokuziphatha kakubi.
- Ukusekwa kwezithintelo ezimbini: Ubeka ixhoba lakhe kwiimeko apho lingalunganga kungakhathaliseki ukuba lenza ntoni. Oku kudala ukubhideka kunye nokuziva ungenakuzinceda.
- Uqikelelo: Utyhola iziphene zakhe kunye nokuziphatha okuyityhefu kwixhoba lakhe. Oku kubetha imigca kwaye kwenza ixhoba lizive linetyala.
- Ulawulo lolwazi: Uyahluza aze agqwethe inkcazelo elinokufikelela kuyo ixhoba lakhe. Oku kubumba umbono wakhe wehlabathi ngokweminqweno yakhe.
La ukulawulwa ngu "ndinexhala ngawe"
La Iqhinga elithi "Ndixhalabile ngawe" liqhinga lokukhohlisa lisetyenziswa ngabakhohlisayo, amaxesha amaninzi kubudlelwane apho elinye iqela lizama ukulawula elinye phantsi kwenkathalo nenkxalabo. Umbono kukudala iimvakalelo zokuziva unetyala okanye ukuxhomekeka kwixhoba ngokwenza ngathi iinkxalabo eziveziweyo zomqhatha zisekelwe kwimpilo-ntle yabo okanye uthando ngomnye umntu. Oku kunokuba nenkohliso kakhulu, njengoko kubonakala kuneenjongo ezintle ekuqaleni, kodwa eneneni, yindlela imida yenkululeko, ukuchaphazela ukhetho okanye ukulawula iimvakalelo zomnye umntu.
???? Ingaba isebenza kanjani ?
Imanipulator:
- Sebenzisa ububele bakhe ngokwenza ngathi ukukhathalele.
- Iphazamisa ingqalelo kwiinjongo zikabani okanye indlela yokuziphatha eyityhefu.
- Ilawula iimvakalelo ngokudala umoya wokuxhomekeka okanye ukuziva unetyala, ikwenza ukholelwe ukuba awukwazi ukwenza unothanda ngaphandle kokulimaza omnye umntu.
🧠 Imizekelo ebonakalayo yokukhohlisa ngokuthi "Ndinexhala ngawe":
1. Ekulawuleni ubudlelwane bakho bentlalo:
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Imeko: Ufuna ukuchitha ixesha nabahlobo bakho okanye usapho, kodwa umqhathi uphendula ngolu hlobo:
“Yazi, ndinexhala ngawe. Abahlobo bakho abakuqondi ncam. Ndinexhala lokuba uchitha ixesha elininzi kunye nabo kwaye iyakwenzakalisa loo nto.”
- Ukuqhatha: Umntu oqhathayo udlala ngetyala lakho ngokwenza ngathi ukhathalele impilo-ntle yakho. Basebenzisa ixhala lakho njengesizathu sokukuqhelisa kude nabantu obathandayo kwaye bakwenze uxhomekeke ngakumbi kubo.
- Impembelelo: Ekugqibeleni, uziva unetyala ngokubona abo ubathandayo, okanye uqalisa ukuthandabuza iinjongo zabahlobo bakho. I-manipulator ngoko yomeleza ulawulo lwabo kubudlelwane bakho bentlalo.
2. Kukhetho lwakho lobuqu okanye lobuchwephesha:
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Imeko: Ufuna ukwenza utshintsho ebomini bakho, njengokutshintsha imisebenzi okanye ukufudukela kwesinye isixeko, kodwa umqhathi uyakuxelela:
"Ndikhathazeke ngokwenene ngawe, lutshintsho olukhulu. Ngaba uqinisekile ukuba lo ngumbono olungileyo? Andifuni ukuba wenze isigqibo esibi."
- Ukukhohlisa: Umbhexeshi usebenzisa "inkxalabo" yabo ukwenza ukuba ungathandabuzi ukhetho lwakho. Bakwenza ukholelwe ukuba, ukuba bayakuthanda okanye bakukhathalele, banelungelo lokuzibuza ngezigqibo zakho ezibalulekileyo.
- Isiphumo: Eli xhala likwenza uthandabuze, uqalise ukuthandabuza izakhono zakho kunye nezinto ozikhethayo, kwaye ugqibe kwelokuba ungayenzi into oyifunayo ukuphepha ukuphoxa okanye ukwenzakalisa umntu othi ukukhathalele.
3. Ngokuziphatha okanye imikhwa:
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Imeko: Uthatha indlela entsha, mhlawumbi esempilweni, yokuphila, kodwa umqhathi uphendula ngolu hlobo:
"Ndinexhala ngokwenene, uyazi ukuba oku kunokuba nemiphumo, ubusoloko unomkhwa wokuba ugqithise." Lumka, kunokuba kubi kuwe. »
- Ukuqhatha: Olu hlobo lokuthetha lulinge lokwenza ukuba ixhoba lithandabuze ukhetho lwalo, ngelixa lizibonakalisa njengoyena mntu unobulumko noyena mntu uxhalabileyo. Injongo kukuphembelela ngokwenza ukuba uthandabuze ukukwazi kwakho ukuzikhathalela.
- Isiphumo: Ixhoba ligqibela liziva linetyala ngezigqibo zalo, okanye liqale ukuthandabuza ukuba indlela yalo entsha yokuphila iyasebenza na.
4. Kwizigqibo zomphefumlo okanye kubomi bosapho:
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Imeko: Ufuna ukwenza isigqibo esikuxhalabisayo, njengokuphelisa ubudlelwane okanye ukutshintsha indlela ophila ngayo kwintsapho, kwaye umntu okhohlisayo ukuxelela oku:
"Ndinexhala ngawe. Ukuba uyenza le nto, unokuzisola, inokukwenzakalisa kakhulu. Andifuni wenzekaliswa."
- Ubuqhophololo: Uzama ukwenza ukuba ungathandabuzi ukuba uyakwazi ukwenza izigqibo ngokuzenza ixhoba aze akwenze uzive unetyala ngokufuna ukutshintsha okuthile ebomini bakho, nokuba oko kuyingenelo kuwe.
- Isiphumo: Usenokuqala ukukholelwa ukuba ukwimeko apho izigqibo zakho kufuneka ziqinisekiswe ngomnye umntu, okanye okubi nangakumbi, ukuba awukwazi ukwenza izigqibo ezifanelekileyo wedwa.
⚠️ Iziphumo zolu qheliso:
- Ukuziva unetyala: Umntu okhohlisayo ukwenza ukholelwe ukuba ukuba wenza ngokuchasene neenkxalabo zabo, uyazingca okanye ubeka ubomi bakho esichengeni.
- Ukuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo: Ngokwenza ukuba ungathandabuzi, i-manipulator yenza ukuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo, apho uqala ukuthembela kumgwebo wabo ngaphezu kowakho.
- Ukuzahlula: Ngokukwenza uthandabuze ubudlelwane bakho nabanye abantu, okanye ukhetho lwakho, umntu okhohlisayo angakukhuthaza ukuba uzehlukanise nabantu abakungqongileyo ukuze ukwazi ukulawula ngcono izenzo zakho.
- Ukuthintelwa kweeprojekthi zakho kunye neminqweno: Unokukhokelelwa ukuba uncame amaphupha akho okanye iiprojekthi ukuphepha "ukwenzakalisa" umbhexeshi okanye ukuphoxa ulindelo lwabo.
🛡️ Indlela yokuzikhusela kolu qheliso?
- Ukuqonda ukukhohlisa: Isinyathelo sokuqala kukuqonda ukuba akusiyo inkxalabo yokwenene, kodwa umzamo wokulawula phantsi kwengubo yobubele.
- Mamela iimfuno neminqweno yakho: Ukuba uvakalelwa kukuba isigqibo okanye isenzo silungile kuwe, kubalulekile ukusilandela, nokuba siyamkhathaza okanye siyamkhathaza omnye umntu.
- Beka imida ecacileyo: Funda ukubeka imida kwaye ungavumi ukwamkela iinkxalabo ezizama ukukhohlisa.
- Inkxaso yangaphandle: Ukuthetha nabahlobo, amalungu osapho, okanye ingcali yezonyango kunokukunceda ufumane umbono wangaphandle kwaye kukhulise ukuzithemba kwakho kuwe nakwizigqibo zakho.
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Iimpendulo eziqinileyo:
"Ndiyaqonda ukuba unexhala, kodwa esi sigqibo malunga nam kwaye yinto endicinga ukuba ilungile kum."
Iindlela zempembelelo kunye nefuthe ekuhambeni kwexesha
Impembelelo ye-narcissistic pervert iyenzeka ngokuhamba kwexesha ngeendlela ezininzi:
- Umjikelo wobundlobongela: Ukutshintshwa kwezigaba zengxwabangxwaba, ugqabhuko-dubulo kunye noxolelwaniso olugcina ixhoba linethemba kunye netyala.
- Ukuphazamiseka kokuqiniswa: Ukutshintshana okungalindelekanga kwemivuzo kunye nezohlwayo okudala ukuxhomekeka okuqinileyo ngokwasengqondweni.
- Ityala leemvakalelo: Ukuqokelelana kwemibingelelo kunye nezivumelwano ezidala imvakalelo yokuhlala kubudlelwane.
- Isazisi esiqhekezayo: Ukutshatyalaliswa okuqhubekayo kwesazisi sexhoba, endaweni yomfanekiso owenziwe ngumgqwethi we-narcissistic.
Imiba esemngciphekweni yokuphembelela kunye nokulawula
Izinto ezithile zikwenza ube sesichengeni ngakumbi kwimpembelelo ye-narcissistic pervert:
- Amanxeba obuntwana angasonjululwanga: Ukungaphumeleli kweemvakalelo kwangoko kunokudala iimeko ezifanelekileyo zokulawulwa kweemvakalelo. Oku kukwabizwa ngokuba ukwenzakala komama.
- Ukuzijongela phantsi: Ukunqongophala kokuzithemba kukwenza ube nobuntununtunu kubuchule bokuxabisa/ukunciphisa ixabiso.
- Uvelwano olugqithisileyo: Uvakalelo olukhulu kwabanye lunokusetyenziswa ngumgqwetheki we-narcissistic ukuphembelela ubutyala kunye nokuzinikela okugqithisileyo.
- Ukunciphisa iinkolelo: Iinkolelo ezithile malunga nothando okanye ubudlelwane zenza kube lula ukwamkela ukuziphatha okuyityhefu.
Impembelelo ye-neurobiological yempembelelo kunye nokuguqulwa kwe-PN
Impembelelo ye-narcissistic pervert ineziphumo ezinokulinganiswa kwingqondo:
- Ukuphazamiseka kwenkqubo yomvuzo: Utshintsho phakathi koqingqo-maxabiso kunye nokwaliwa kudala umlutha wokwenyani kubudlelwane.
- Ukusetyenziswa kwe-hyperactivation ye-amygdala: Imozulu yoloyiko nokungakhuseleki igcina ingqondo ikwimo esisigxina yokuphaphile.
- Ukuphazamiseka kwemveliso ye-serotonin: Uxinzelelo olungapheliyo luphazamisa ukulawulwa kwesimo kwaye lukhuthaza ukudakumba.
- Ukunqongophala kweOxytocin: Ukungazinzi ngokomzwelo kuphazamisa imfihlo yehomoni yokunamathisela.
Ikhonkco lempembelelo kunye nokuLawula kwi-Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Impembelelo kunye nokukhohlisa kunxulunyaniswa ngaphakathi kwisakhiwo sobuntu be-narcissistic pervert:
- Imfuno yolawulo: Imvakalelo ye-narcissist yokuba namandla onke imtyhala ukuba afune ukulawula yonke into emngqongileyo.
- Ukungabi naluvelwano: Ukungakwazi ukuzibeka kwimeko yomnye kwenza kube lula ukuziphatha okukhohlisayo.
- Ukufuna ukuqinisekiswa kwangaphandle: Isidingo esiqhubekayo sokunconywa sityhala i-narcissist ukuba imise enye emfanekisweni wayo.
- Umbono ohlukeneyo wobudlelwane: Ukutyekela ekucingeni abanye baze bajongele phantsi abanye kuphembelela umjikelo wolawulo.
I-Bibliographic reference kwimpembelelo kunye nokukhohlisa
Nalu uluhlu lweereferensi ezintandathu zebhayibhilografi ngempembelelo kunye nokukhohlisa:
- Cialdini, R.B. (2021). Impembelelo, uhlelo olutsha: Amandla okucenga. Ushicilelo lokuqala.
- Joule, R.-V., & Beauvois, J.-L. (2014). Incwadana encinci malunga nokukhohlisa ukuze kusetyenziswe abantu abathembekileyo. Ushicilelo Universitaires de Grenoble.
- Guéguen, N. (2011). IPsychology yokukhohlisa kunye nokungeniswa. Dunod.
- Breton, P. (2000). Intetho eguquliweyo. UkuFumana.
- Abgrall, J.-M. (2003). Ubuchwephesha bamaqela. Intlawulo.
- Nazare-Aga, I. (2014). Ii-manipulators ziphakathi kwethu: Ngoobani? Indlela yokuzikhusela kuyo? Les Editions de l'Homme.
Le mi sebenzi inikezela ngeembono ezahlukeneyo kwiindlela zempembelelo kunye nokukhohlisa kwiimeko ezahlukeneyo zentlalo kunye nezengqondo.
isiphelo
Ukuqukumbela, impembelelo kunye nokunyangwa kwe-narcissistic pervert isekelwe kwiindlela eziyinkimbinkimbi zengqondo. Ukuqonda le misebenzi kusivumela ukuba sichonge ngcono iimeko zolawulo kwaye silinganise ubungqongqo bazo. Kumaxhoba abasetyhini, olu lwazi luyimfuneko, nangona lubuhlungu, inyathelo lokuqala lokuzikhulula kwimpembelelo eyityhefu.
Ndinomdla ngengqondo, ndasebenza kwicandelo lezemali iminyaka eyi-10. Njenge-CEO ndilawule amaqela abantu abangaphezu kwama-200. Ingqondo yomntu wonke yindalo ngokwayo kwaye ngokuqinisekileyo isitshixo kwimpumelelo yala mashishini!
Ngesiza se-perversnarcissique.org kunye nesisa u-Je M'Aime, ndabelana ngolwazi lwam ngalo mbandela kunye namava am obomi kumxholo we-narcissism kunye ne-narcissistic perversion, isibetho kuluntu lwethu. Kum esi sifo yingxaki yokwenyani yempilo yoluntu, eyaziwa kancinci, nangona sichaphazela phantse isiqingatha sabemi ngokwemigangatho eyahlukeneyo.
Ikwayindlela yokunceda abantu, njengoko ndiye ndakwazi ukufumana uncedo kubantu endingabaziyo ubomi bam bonke. Akukho zigqwetheki narcissistic kuphela kweli hlabathi kwaye ngethamsanqa! Apha sinceda abantu baqonde okwenzekayo kubo kwaye badlulele kubomi obungenazo ii-narcissists - ubomi bakho obungcono! Awuwedwa kwaye unokwenza utshintsho ukuze uphile ubomi obanelisayo, obugcwele uxolo, imvisiswano kunye nothando!
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