Intsomi yomamazala onobuzwilakhe kumkhwenyana wakhe okanye umolokazana wakhe usoloko ethotyelwa kwinqanaba lefilimu kunye nochungechunge lwescript. Ngokwenene, ubukho be-a umama wesibini ogqwethekileyo onarcissistic iya kukubonisa ukuba uyintoni na uMachiavellian kunye nomntu okhohlisayo.
Indlela yokuqonda umkhwekazi onetyhefu?
Ukwazi njani ukuqaphela umkhwekazi okhohlisayo? Kufuneka sele uyazi ukuba yintoni na narcissistic ugqwethiweyo umamazala. Ungumntu wase Machiavellian oya kuzama ukuzifaka kubomi beqabane lomntwana wakhe okanye iqabane. Ngokweenkcukacha, umyinge wamashumi amabini anesihlanu ekhulwini (25%) oomolokazana bathi abavani kakuhle noninazala. Kwaye i-60% inobudlelwane obubi kakhulu kunye nomama weqabane labo.
Idla ngokuzifihla kwizizathu ezifana nezi: “Ndiphuphuma luthando ngawe,” “Ndikuthetha oku ukuze kulungelwe wena”. Nazi iindlela zokuyiqaphela:
- Uya kufuna ukunika uluvo lwakhe, okanye ade alunyanzelise kwisibini kuyo yonke into abayenzayo.
- Uninazala ogqwethekileyo naye uya kuba nobunzima bokwamkela ukugxekwa.
- Kubantwana, uya kuzibonakalalisa ekuphakameni kwakhe, ade afikelele kwiindlela ezikhohlakeleyo zokubeka a utyekelo lweemvakalelo.
- Uyakwazi ukubonisa umlinganiswa onobundlobongela xa ethetha nabantu abamngqongileyo.
Izixhobo ezi-5 zokuxhaphaza umamazala weNarcissistic Pervert
Ukuze afezekise injongo yakhe, umkhwekazi we-narcissistic unokulawula ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo. Uya kuzisebenzisa ukuseka umbono wakhe. Amandla ayo ubukhulu becala axhomekeke eqongeni.
Iindlela ezinje nge-blackmail zezona zixhaphakileyo, ke nantsi eminye imizekelo:
- Iinyembezi zeNgwenya: Uninazala usenokubonakala ekwimeko elusizi. Uya kuqinisekisa ukuba unyana nomolokazana wakhe bayachukumiseka yimeko yakhe ukuze babe novelwano kuye. Imiboniso yeenyembezi ekhumbula ixesha elidlulileyo, ubuxoki obuqulunqwe kakuhle. Uya kumnika owona mdlalo ubalaseleyo wokuthambisa intliziyo yakho.
- Ukusetyenziswa koxinzelelo lwemali: Umamazala usenokuzama ukubarhwebesha ngoncedo lwemali. Kodwa oku kuhlala kunxulunyaniswa ne-quid pro quo yokwenza into ayithethayo ngamaxesha onke.
- Ukutyholwa ngokweemvakalelo: Esi sixhobo siluncedo ngokwenene kuye xa evakalelwa kukuba imeko ingaphaya kwamandla akhe. Kodwa kwakhona, xa isibini kubonakala kunzima ukuphembelela. Umama wesibini ogqwethekileyo we-narcissistic uza kujikisa abantwana kumzali wabo. Esi sixhobo sivumela umkhwekazi ukuba abe nempembelelo ebalulekileyo phezu kwesibini njengoko umlahli weemvakalelo.
- Shintshela ityala kwisibini: Obu buchule baziwa kakuhle ngabagqwethi be-narcissistic. Kubandakanya ukwenza ixhoba lizive linetyala ngemeko yomntu ogqwethekileyo. Ngoko ke abantwana bakamama womtshato wesibini baya kuziva benetyala. Usenokude asebenzise amazwi ahlabayo ngokuwabiza ngokuba ngabantu abangenambulelo nabangenantliziyo.
- Sebenzisa indima yakho njengomama: Angasebenzisa le ndlela kumntwana wakhe ukuze akujike. Oku kuthetha ukuba awusayi kuphinda ufumane inkxaso yomyeni okanye yenkosikazi yakho.
Impembelelo yokuziphatha kukamamazala we-narcissistic kwixhoba lakhe
Ukuziphatha kukamama wesibini onama-narcissistic kunokuba neempembelelo ezinzulu nezihlala zihleli kwixhoba lakhe, ngokuqhelekileyo umolokazana wakhe okanye umkhwenyana wakhe. Nalu uhlalutyo oluneenkcukacha zezi mpembelelo:
1. Ukuwohloka kokuzithemba
- Ukugxekwa rhoqo : Umkhwekazi othanda ukuhlambalaza udla ngokusoloko egxeka ixhoba lakhe, nto leyo enokusenza singabi nasimilo.
- Uthelekiso olungathandekiyo : Unokuthelekisa ixhoba lakhe ngokungafanelekanga nabanye abantu, eqinisa iimvakalelo zokungafaneleki.
- Ukungasebenzi kweemvakalelo : Ngokunciphisa okanye ukukhanyela iimvakalelo zexhoba lakhe, unokubangela ukuba ixhoba lithandabuze iimbono kunye neemvakalelo zalo.
2. Ukuxhalaba okungapheliyo kunye noxinzelelo
- Ukuhamba kumaqokobhe amaqanda : Ixhoba linokuthi lihlale lixhalabile, lisoloko lisoyika ukubangela ukusabela kakubi kumazala.
- Ukulindela iingxabano : Uxinezeleko olubangelwa kukulindela iimbutho zentsapho lunokuba nzima.
- Utshintsho : Ukuxhalaba kunokuzibonakalisa ngeempawu zomzimba ezifana nentloko, iingxaki zokugaya okanye iingxaki zokulala.
3. Ukuphazamiseka kobudlelwane bentsapho
- Uxinzelelo kwisibini : Ubudlelwane phakathi kwexhoba neqabane lalo bunokonakala, ngakumbi ukuba iqabane aliyiqapheli okanye liyilawule ngendlela eyiyo indlela kanina yokuziphatha.
- Ukuba likheswa yintsapho : Ixhoba lingaziqhelanisa nosapho olongezelelekileyo ukunqanda ukudityaniswa noninazala.
- Impembelelo ebantwaneni : Ukuba ixhoba linabantwana, basenokuchanabeka kwizinto eziguquguqukayo zentsapho okanye basetyenziswe njengeentsila kwiindlela zikamamazala.
4. Ukuthandabuza kunye nokudideka
- Ukukhanyisa ngegesi : Umkhwekazi we-narcissistic unokusebenzisa ubuchule bokukhohlisa ngokwasengqondweni, ekhokelela ukuba ixhoba lithandabuze ubunyani balo.
- Ukuphelelwa yintembelo kwisigwebo sikabani : Ngokuzibuza, ixhoba linokuphelelwa yintembelo kubuchule balo bokwenza izigqibo.
- Ukudideka ngokweemvakalelo : Ixhoba lisenokuba neemvakalelo ezingqubanayo, lihamba phakathi komnqweno wokwamkelwa nokuba nomsindo xa liphathwa kakubi.
5. Iimpembelelo zempilo yengqondo yexesha elide
- Uxinzelelo : Ukuvezwa ixesha elide kwindawo enetyhefu kunokukhokelela kwiziqendu zokudakumba.
- Uxinzelelo lwasemva koxinzelelo (PTSD) : Kwiimeko ezinzima, ixhoba linokuba neempawu ze-PTSD.
- Ingxaki yokuxhalaba ngokubanzi : Ukuxhalaba okungapheliyo kunokuqhubela phambili kwingxaki yokukhathazeka yehlabathi, echaphazela iinkalo ezahlukeneyo zobomi.
6. Ubunzima bobudlelwane
- Ukungathembi mntu : Ixhoba lisenokuba nengxaki yokuthemba abanye, kuquka nolwalamano olungaphandle kwesangqa sentsapho.
- Ukuveliswa kwakhona kwemizobo : Ngaphandle kolwazi kunye nomsebenzi wonyango, kukho umngcipheko wokuvelisa kwakhona amandla anetyhefu kobunye ubudlelwane.
- Ubunzima bokumisela imida : Ixhoba linokuba nobunzima bokuseka kunye nokugcina imida enempilo kubudlelwane bexesha elizayo.
Indlela yokulondoloza ngempumelelo ubudlelwane bakho kwiintambo zomamazala we-narcissistic?
Ukugcina ubudlelwane bakho, kufuneka ukwazi oko Ukukholisa umazala wakho akusiso isisombululo. Musa ukuzinyanzela ukuba ube yeyona nto ifanelekileyo ayibonisayo. Awusoze ube ngulo afuna ukumbona nomntwana wakhe. Zama kangangoko unako ukumkholisa uya kukomeleza ukubamba kwakhe phezu kwakho kwaye amkhuphe ngakumbi ubuntu obuyityhefu.
Eyona ndlela ilungileyo kukuvula amehlo eqabane lakho kwinto yokuba umamazala wakho ungumgqwetheki we-narcissistic. Ewe, kubalulekile ukuba le yokugqibela ibe kwicala lakho. Kuzakwenzeka ke ukuba nidibane niyeke lento izama ukwenziwa ngunyokozala. Ukuba awunaye kwicala lakho, kuya kuba nzima ukugcina okanye ukugcina ubudlelwane bakho.
Ngaba kunokwenzeka ukubaleka impembelelo yomamazala we-Pervert Narcissistic?
Ewe, kunokwenzeka ukubaleka impembelelo yomamazala ogqwethekileyo. Kuxhomekeke kuwe ukuba ulwe ukuze uzikhulule kwimpembelelo yawo. Oku kufuna umonde namandla. Intsomi yomama wesibini okhohlakeleyo iya kuvela kwaye unokude ungqubane neqabane lakho. Nangona kunjalo, kubalulekile ukusombulula ukushiya le meko inetyhefu ngazo zonke iindleko.
I-Bibliographic reference ngomamazala we-narcissistic
Nalu uluhlu lweembekiselo ezisixhenxe zebhayografi kumxholo othi "narcissistic mother-in-law":
- Racamier, uPaul-Claude (1986). "Phakathi kobuhlungu bengqondo, ukukhanyela kwengqondo kunye nokugqwetheka kwe-narcissistic". Ijenali yesiFrentshi ye-psychoanalysis, ukubhabha. 50, no.
- UJoly, uMarc noRoquebert, uCorentin (2021). "Ukusuka kumama okhohlakeleyo ukuya kwiqabane eligwenxa." Zilsel: Inzululwazi, iteknoloji, uluntu.
- Fromm-Reichmann, Frieda (1948). "Amanqaku okuphuhliswa kwonyango lwe-schizophrenics nge-psychoanalytic psychotherapy". Psychiatry, ukubhabha. 11, no.
- Nosal, uSerge (2020). Ukungazi nto kunye ne-narcissism emngciphekweni we-borderline ithi: ukuya kwisihloko sesithathu. ithisisi yobuGqirha, HAL.
- Diguer, uLouis et al. (2010). "Ukuqinisekiswa kwenguqulelo ethetha isiFrentshi ye-Pathological Narcissism Inventory". I-Pathological Narcissism Inventory.
- Psychologist.net (2024). “Oomama abakhohlakeleyo babaxhaphaza njani abantwana babo? ".
- Durand, G. (2020). "(Uku) khawube nomfanekiso-ngqondweni kaninazala ongenamntwana kwimodeli yosapho edibeneyo." Ijenali yaseQuebec yezengqondo.
Ezi zingqinisiso zibonelela ngesakhelo sokuqonda ukuziphatha kwe-narcissistic phakathi kobudlelwane bosapho kunye neentshukumo kunye nomamazala.
isiphelo
Ukuqukumbela, ubudlelwane kunye nomama wesibini okhohlakeleyo okhohlakeleyo bunokuba neempembelelo ezinzulu kwimpilo yengqondo, yeemvakalelo, kunye nobudlelwane bamaxhoba akhe. Ukuphathwa kakubi ngokweemvakalelo, ukunganyaniseki ngokweemvakalelo kunye nokugxekwa rhoqo kunokubangela ukuwohloka kokuzithemba, ukuxhalaba okungapheliyo, kunye noxinzelelo kubudlelwane. Nangona kunjalo, kuyenzeka ukuba uzikhulule kule mpembelelo ngokwazi ukukhohlisa kunye nokufumana inkxaso kwiqabane lakho. Unxibelelwano olucacileyo kunye nemida eqinile ibalulekile ukugcina ubudlelwane bunempilo kwaye ugweme ukuwela kumjikelo onetyhefu.
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Ngesiza se-perversnarcissique.org kunye nesisa u-Je M'Aime, ndabelana ngolwazi lwam ngalo mbandela kunye namava am obomi kumxholo we-narcissism kunye ne-narcissistic perversion, isibetho kuluntu lwethu. Kum esi sifo yingxaki yokwenyani yempilo yoluntu, eyaziwa kancinci, nangona sichaphazela phantse isiqingatha sabemi ngokwemigangatho eyahlukeneyo.
Ikwayindlela yokunceda abantu, njengoko ndiye ndakwazi ukufumana uncedo kubantu endingabaziyo ubomi bam bonke. Akukho zigqwetheki narcissistic kuphela kweli hlabathi kwaye ngethamsanqa! Apha sinceda abantu baqonde okwenzekayo kubo kwaye badlulele kubomi obungenazo ii-narcissists - ubomi bakho obungcono! Awuwedwa kwaye unokwenza utshintsho ukuze uphile ubomi obanelisayo, obugcwele uxolo, imvisiswano kunye nothando!
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