La kupotoza kwa narcissistic sichinayambe yayankhulidwapo kuposa pakali pano. Mwinamwake mukudabwa momwe khalidweli limadziwonetsera. Maziko ake ndi kunama, kupatula wozunzidwayo ndi kumupangitsa kudzimva kukhala wolakwa. Nkovuta kulongosola khalidwe loterolo pamene mwapenga m’chikondi ndi mnzanu kapena mkazi wanu.
Ubale ndi wonyenga - Kodi ubalewu ukuyenda bwanji?
Nthawi zambiri, zitha kuchitika mwanjira yoletsa kwambiri, monga ubale uliwonse wa banja. Simukuwona chilichonse choyipa chikubwera m'masabata omwe adutsa. Koma choyamba, iye adzakhala ndi ulamuliro pa inu, kotero kuti inu muzimukonda kotheratu.
Zimatsindika kuyambira pachiyambi kuti munthu wamtunduwu angakhalenso mkazi.
Ndi munthu uyu, mumakhulupirira ngakhale chikondi poyang'ana koyamba, kumverera komwe simunamvepo kwa nthawi yayitali. Chikondi chanu ndi chapakati, zonse zimawoneka ngati zabwinobwino, ndipo nonse mukuyamba kuyang'ana zamtsogolo.
- Mawu achikondi ndi zizindikiro zachikondi zimathetsedwa msanga ndi mawu achipongwe ndi chipongwe. Mumazindikira kuti nthawi zina amaoneka kuti alibe chikondi.
- Ndiyeno, mumayamba kuona zolakwika m'machitidwe ake, makamaka m'mawu ake. Koma wozunzidwayo adzaonetsetsa kuti chirichonse chikungokhala kusamvetsetsana ndi malingaliro. Chifukwa chake n’chakuti amakudziwani bwino moti amakunyengererani mmene akufunira.
- Kenako kumabwera kuchititsidwa manyazi pagulu, paphwando labanja, pakudya ndi anzathu kapena pakati pa mabwenzi apamtima. Amapanga nthabwala motsutsana nanu muzosangalatsa zonse, ndipo popanda cholinga choipa, ngakhale kuti zimakupwetekani mwachindunji. Kenako amakusokonezani ndi zifukwa zodzikhululukira pa zimene anachita, n’kunena kuti zinali zongosangalatsa basi '' joke'' .
Kodi wonyenga angasinthire chikondi?
Timakhulupiliranso kuti yankho la funsoli likhoza kuthetsa kukayikira kwathu konse. Popeza munthu amapenga m’chikondi ndi munthu ameneyu, yankho liyenera kukhala INDE, chifukwa chikondi chimachotsa zoipa zonse ndikusintha chibadwa cha munthu. Tsoka ilo yankho ndilo, AYI.
Choyamba, timayamba ndi gwero la vuto, ndi wonyenga wonyenga sichidzasintha. Malinga ndi psychotherapist, “Ngati sakhudzidwa pang’ono, mphamvu yachikondi ingakhalepo” (Anne-Clotilde Ziegler).
Samalani ndi kukhala ndi ziyembekezo zopanda pake kuti munthuyo asintha. Ngakhale mutamupatsa chikondi ndi chisamaliro chonse chomwe amafunikira, sangathe kusintha. Sonyezani kuti ndinu woyenera bwino, kuti iye ndi woyenera chikondi chanu.
Kodi mungapangitse munthu wonyenga kuti azikondana?
Popanda kufuna kufooketsa chinyengo chanu, kunyengerera kwa narcissistic ndiye choyamba ndi matenda. Ndi matenda amaganizo. Wodwala alibe malingaliro, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti zikhale zovuta kukhala ndi chibwenzi ndi munthu wabwinobwino.
Komabe, vuto lalikulu malinga ndi katswiriyu, “Pamene amakukondani kwambiri, m’pamenenso amakuwonongani. » Ngati mukuganiza zokhala ndi ubale wokhalitsa ndi munthu yemwe ali ndi matenda otere, chikondi sichidzakhala chokwanira. Iye akhozabe kutengera kuphukira kapena chikondi chenicheni, chifukwa cha chisangalalo chanu chachikulu. Samalani, kumupangitsa kuti ayambe kukondana sikudzakhala kophweka.
Mukafunsira umboni wa anthu omwe adazunzidwa, mudzawona kuti 90% ya iwo adawona kuti wowongolerayo sanasinthe ndipo sasintha. Mumadziwa zomwe mumayembekezera.
Chifukwa chiyani wopotoza wa narcissistic sangasinthe?
Ali ndi chizolowezi choimba mlandu ena onse. Iye savomereza zolakwa zake, ndi zotsatira za zochita zake. Kuti asinthe, makamaka chifukwa cha chikondi, ayenera kugwiritsa ntchito njira zake zitatu zosalekanitsidwa:
- Muloleni azindikire vuto lomwe ali nalo, ndi lomwe adayambitsa chifukwa cha vuto lake;
- Muloleni amve kufunika kopanga zatsopano, kuti kusintha kuchitike;
- Achite mogwirizana;
Koposa zonse, musakhulupirire mawu ake, omwe nthawi zambiri amakhala osafunikira komanso okopa. Yang'anani zochita zake, zochita zake kuti mumvetsetse zolinga zake zosintha.
Zambiri, amakonda kudzitamandira kuti akuike pansi. Kuonjezera apo, wopotoza wamatsenga amadziwa kulankhula za iyemwini monga munthu wopatsidwa nzeru ndi chidziwitso, yemwe ali ndi chikhalidwe, kuti musasangalale kwambiri. Wonyengayo amakonda kukambirana zopanda pake kuti akukhumudwitseni pazinthu zambiri, monga mavuto abanja, ubale wake wakale, mavuto anu ndi wakale wanu.
Kodi mungadziwe bwanji ngati wonyenga amakukondani?
Kudziwa ngati munthu wonyenga amakonda munthu wake ndizovuta kwambiri. Nthawi zambiri, anthu amtunduwu amadziwa kunamizira chikondi chenicheni, monga anthu wamba.
Malinga ndi psychotherapist, "chilombocho chidzakonda momwe umakondera chinthu chomwe chimakupatsirani kutchuka". Ngati inu kuwunika khalidwe lake, mudzaona kuti adzawomba otentha ndi ozizira, kuti narcissistic wopotoza mabodza modzidzimutsa mu chirichonse ndipo koposa zonse, iye sadzakhala omveka bwino mu malingaliro ake.
Zitha kukhala kuti mukumva kuyanjana, chifukwa inde, padzakhala kusinthana kwapang'onopang'ono, zizindikiro zosiyana za chikondi ndi chikondi, komabe izi ndizabodza, ngakhale zongopeka.
Buku lofotokozera
Nawa maumboni asanu ndi awiri a m'mabuku omwe akuyankha funso la kuthekera kwa wonyenga kusintha chifukwa cha chikondi:
- Hirigoyen, M.-F. Kuzunza: Kuchitira nkhanza tsiku ndi tsiku. Paris: Syros.
- Tisseron, S. (2010). Zinsinsi za m'banja: Kuchokera pakupatsirana kupita ku vumbulutso. Paris: PUF.
- Cyrulnik, B. (2001). Tsoka lodabwitsa. Paris: Odile Jacob.
- Salome, J. (2004). Kulimba mtima kukhala wekha. Paris: Albin Michel.
- Ancelin Schützenberger, A. (1998). O, makolo anga!. Paris: Desclée de Brouwer.
- Cungi, C., & Lemoine, M. (2008). Dzitsimikizireni nokha ndikulankhulana. Paris: Retz.
- Lejoyeux, M. (2017). umunthu wovuta. Paris: Odile Jacob.
Ntchitozi zimapereka malingaliro osiyanasiyana pa chikhalidwe cha khalidwe lopusitsa ndi funso lolisintha kudzera mu chikondi.
Kutsiliza
Kunena zoona, wonyenga sangathe kusintha. Kumbali ina, imatha kuwonetsa chisinthiko molingana ndi zofooka za nyama yake. Ngati mukumva mantha wamba kapena kukayikira, amadziwa momwe angagwiritsire ntchito kufunafuna kusintha popanda kukhalitsa.
Mwambiri, wonyenga akhoza kusintha, atazindikira kuwonongeka komwe wayambitsa mozungulira iye. Poyamba ayenera kuzindikira maziko enieni a mavuto ake ndipo motero kumenyana ndi ziwanda zake zakale kuti akwaniritse izi.
Choncho kusinthaku sikudalira inu koma pa iye yekha. Tiyenera kutsegula maso ake ku zochita zake, kumuuza mwachindunji zolakwa zake popanda kusintha. Njira iyi ndi imodzi mwazosowa zothetsera matenda ake.
Mwinamwake mumayembekezera chozizwitsa chadzidzidzi koma musapusitsidwe. Kusintha kwenikweni kokha kumachokera kwa aliyense wa ife, kupyolera mu mzimu wathu.
Zolemba zina zomwe muyenera kuziwona:
- The Manipulator's Weak Point
- Kuchita kwa Wonyenga Mukamusiya
- Ndi Mayday
- Zizindikiro Zoyatsa Gasi
- Imen Ndi Narcissistic Pervert
- Narcissistic wopotoza manipulator
- Emotional manipulator
Ndinkakonda za psychology, ndinagwira ntchito yazachuma kwa zaka 10. Monga CEO ndidayang'anira magulu a anthu opitilira 200. Psychology ya aliyense ndi chilengedwe mwachokha ndipo ndiye chinsinsi chakuchita bwino kwa mabizinesi awa!
Ndi tsamba la perversnarcissique.org komanso thandizo la Je M'Aime, ndimagawana zomwe ndikudziwa pankhaniyi komanso zomwe ndakumana nazo pamoyo wanga pa nkhani yachinyengo komanso kupotoza kwachipongwe, mliri wadziko lathu. Kwa ine matendawa ndi vuto lenileni la thanzi la anthu, lodziwika pang'ono, ngakhale limakhudza pafupifupi theka la anthu kumadera osiyanasiyana.
Ndi njira yothandizanso anthu, popeza ineyo ndakhala ndikutha kupeza chithandizo kwa anthu osawadziwa pamoyo wanga wonse. Palibe anthu opotoza a narcissistic padziko lapansi pano komanso mwamwayi! Pano tikuthandiza anthu kumvetsetsa zomwe zikuwachitikira ndikupita kumoyo wopanda anthu onyoza - moyo wanu wabwino kwambiri! Simuli nokha ndipo mutha kusintha kuti mukhale ndi moyo wokhutiritsa, wodzaza ndi mtendere, mgwirizano ndi chikondi!
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