Wonyenga Wopotozedwa - Dziwani zida zake zokopa

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Kodi mukufuna kudziwa pang'ono za onyengerera opotoka, muli patsamba lolondola chifukwa tikufotokozerani pang'ono zamalingaliro amunthu wonyenga. Uyu ndi munthu amene amafuna kukondedwa ndi aliyense. Kuphatikiza apo, amawongolera aliyense womuzungulira. Cholinga cha wonyengerera wokhotayo ndicho kuwononga wogwidwayo.  

Kodi Wonyenga Wopotozedwa ndi Chiyani?

Wonyengerera wopotoka angatanthauzidwe kukhala munthu amene amayesa kunyengerera aliyense kuti azitha kuwanyengerera. Adzachita zonse kuti akwaniritse zoyembekeza za nyama yake komanso omwe ali pafupi ndi wozunzidwayo watsopano. Mosiyana ndi narcissistic wopotoza, wonyenga wonyenga amasiya wogwiriridwayo mofulumira kwambiri kuti akapeze wina.

Wonyenga wonyenga adzakhala wothandiza kwambiri poyamba ndikusintha pakapita nthawi kuti akwaniritse zosowa zake zopotoka. Munthu wonyengererayo sangasonyeze zizindikiro zonyengerera mpaka wogwiriridwayo agweratu m’malo mwake.

Pamsonkhano woyamba, adzakudziwitsani zonse zomwe wapambana, kuti ali ndi moyo wamaloto, ndi wothamanga, ndi zina zotero. Ndikoyenera kudziwa kuti wonyengerera alibe malingaliro konse, palibe chofunikira kuposa kupambana kugonjetsa munthu watsopano. Chimene chimasangalatsa wonyengerera wolakwa ndicho kudziŵa kuti ena sapambana kwenikweni kuposa iye. 

Kodi wonyenga wonyenga amasewera chiyani?

Zimakhala zovuta kudziŵa ngati munthu amene ali patsogolo panu ndi wonyenga kapena ayi chifukwa chakuti amagwiritsa ntchito njira yanzeru kwambiri. Kwa onyenga awa, kunyengerera ndi nkhani yovuta kwambiri. Tiyeni tiwone pamodzi ndondomeko yokopa munthu wolakwika.

1. Chilombo chimachita chilichonse kuti chiwoneke ngati chosakanidwa ndi nyamayo

Pa gawo loyambali, wonyengerera amayesetsa kuti akope chidwi cha aliyense. Pofuna kukopa wozunzidwayo, adzachita chidwi choyamba ndikuwunikira zovala zake, kupambana kwake m'moyo komanso luso lake. Amayesa kusonyeza kuti ali ndi moyo wabwinoko ndipo wayamba kale kugwiritsa ntchito nyama yake yatsopano. FN ipangitsa anthu kukhulupirira kuti ndi anthu odabwitsa kwambiri padziko lapansi koma izi sizowona.

Onyengerera amayesa kutsanzira anthu angapo amphamvu zosiyanasiyana. Koma, izi siziri kwenikweni zomwe zili. Zopambana zonse ndi miyoyo yomwe amapeza ndi ya anthu ena. Wonyengerera wokhota amatsanziranso moyo wa munthu kuchokera mufilimu kapena m'buku. Chifukwa cha izi, amawonetsa umunthu wapadera komanso wosangalatsa kwambiri pamaso pa wozunzidwayo. Cholinga chake n’chakuti asonyeze kuti iye ndi wabwino kwambiri kuposa anthu ena amene ankawadziwa kale. Taona kuti munthu wonyenga wonyenga ndi munthu wamwano kwambiri. 

2. Kupitiriza kunyenga 

Wonyengayo amafunanso kuti akwaniritse zimene munthuyo amafuna kuti azigwirizana naye. Kuwombera kwachikondi kapena chikondi bomba zikhoza kuchitika kuti anyenge nyama. Otsatirawa adzakhala ndi mauthenga achikondi ndi zizindikiro zina zachikondi ngati ndi zomwe wozunzidwayo akufunafuna pachibwenzi. Wonyenga amadziwonetsa yekha ngati wodziwa kupezeka kwa wozunzidwayo kuti amupulumutse, kumuthandiza nthawi zonse m'moyo ndikuchotsa kuvutika kwake konse m'moyo wake wakale.

Kumbali ina, manja okongolawa ndi a nthawi yochepa kwambiri. Wonyengererayo angakhalenso pachiopsezo chachikulu ku nyama yake kotero kuti yomalizirayo imamchirikiza. Njira iyi imamupangitsa kuti aziimba mlandu wogwidwa ndi narcissistic wopotoza kenako akafuna kusiya chibwenzi.  

Kuzindikira wonyengerera wokhota

  • Ambiri mwa onyengerera achinyengo ali ndi bala mkati mwawo kuyambira ali mwana. Mukakumana ndi munthu wonyenga, ndikofunikira kuti mukhale odzichepetsa nthawi zonse. Wonyengerera amadziŵa kale zonse zokhudza anthu amene adzamuvutitse kumene ndipo amangofikira njira yosavuta kufikako.
  • Kuti muthawe zolinga zoipa za onyengawa, muyenera kukumbukira nthawi zonse kuti palibe munthu wangwiro. Muyeneranso kusamala ndi anthu omwe ali ndi chidwi kwambiri ndi mavuto anu onse chifukwa atha kukugwiritsani ntchito pokunyengererani. 
  • Nthaŵi zina anthu amene amatsatira chibadwa chawo amapeŵa kwa onyengerera achinyengo. Kutsatira chibadwa chanu kungathandize kuzindikira kuti ubale ndi munthuyu sungakhale wopindulitsa. Anthu ambiri amathamangira pachibwenzi chifukwa safunanso kukhala okha m'moyo kapena kufuna kudzaza kusowa kwawo kwa chikondi. Komabe, maubwenzi ozikidwa pa zosowazi nthawi zonse amatha kuvutika. 

Kodi mungadziwe bwanji masewera akuluakulu a wonyenga wonyenga?

Umu ndi momwe mungadziwire masewera onyenga:

  • Paubwenzi, wonyengerera amasewera masewera akusintha umunthu. Tsiku lina adzakhala wachikondi kwambiri ndiye tsiku lotsatira adzawononga wophedwayo. Wonyenga apitiliza kuchita izi muubwenzi wawo wonse. Pochita izi, nyamayo imamudalira kwambiri. 
  • Masewera a wonyengerera amayamba pomwe amalota wozunzidwayo. Akufuna kuwonetsa omalizawo kuti ubale wawo ndi wabwino komanso kuti udzakhala ubale woyenera nthano. Amayankha ku zilakolako zonse za wozunzidwayo ndiyeno amatenga zonse. Kuyambira pomwe nyama yake imayamba kudalira iye, wonyengayo akuwoneka kuti alibe chidwi. Nthawi zina zimasowa ndikubwereranso patapita nthawi popanda kufotokoza. 
  • Pambuyo pobwerera, wonyengayo amapanga mtundu wa nkhawa mwa wozunzidwayo. Adzayamba kudzifunsa mafunso ambiri okhudza ubale wawo, za wokondedwa wake, ndi zina zotero. Popanda kupeza mayankho, adzakhumudwa. Pambuyo pake, wozunzidwayo angaganize kuti ndi vuto lawo ngati wonyengayo (Kodi wonyenga angasinthire chikondi?) zimakhala ngati izi. Poona kuzunzika kwa nyama yake, wonyengererayo amadzazidwa ndi chimwemwe ndi chikhutiro. 

Wonyengerera Wopotozedwa - Kodi mungatuluke bwanji mumasewera anu?

Chifukwa cha kuzindikira kwake, munthu woponderezedwa amafuna kusiya ubale wake. Nazi njira zina zomwe zingakuthandizeni kuchotsa wonyengerera wopotoka. 

1. Dziwani kuti mukuvutika muubwenziwu

Wogwiritsa ntchitoyo akangoyamba kukhala patali, mumangoganiza kuti ndiye vuto lanu. Mumamva ngati mukufa kuchokera mkati ndipo mulibenso kukoma kwa moyo. Kulankhulana sikumachitikanso konse muubwenzi wanu. Chifukwa chake, mumadziwa kuvutika kwanu muubwenzi.

2. Dziwani wonyengerera wokhotayo ndi njira yake

Kuti mupulumuke kumasewera a manipulator, muyenera kudziwa kuti mnzanuyo ndi m'modzi mwa okunyengerera. Kumayambiriro kwa ubale wanu, adziwonetsera yekha ngati mwamuna wa maloto anu ndipo adzayesa kutsimikizira banja lanu kuti ndiye mpongozi wabwino kwambiri. 

Kuti akhale pafupi ndi wozunzidwayo, wonyenga amagwiritsa ntchito njira zosiyanasiyana:

  • Amanama.
  • Muwopsezeni wozunzidwayo.
  • Adzapatula nyama yake.
  • chepetsani mtengo wa wozunzidwayo.
  • Kuyesera kudzipanga wekha kukhala wozunzidwa.
  • Kunyoza ndi kuopseza ena.

3. Onani mmene zinthu zilili

Wogwiriridwayo samamvetsetsanso kalikonse pa moyo wake chifukwa cha kupusitsa kwa wonyengererayo. Mukhoza kuyamba ndi kutenga tsiku kuti muphunzire khalidwe lake lonse. Mukhoza kulemba zonse zomwe akunena, zomwe amachita, zotsutsa, ndi zina zotero. Pochita izi, mudzazindikira kuti pali zinthu zina zomwe sizili bwino m'moyo wanu.

4. Dziŵani zolakwa za wonyengererayo

Muyenera kudziwa zomwe wonyengayo wakhudzira umunthu wanu. Nthaŵi zambiri, zimawononga kudzidalira kwa wozunzidwayo. Podziwa izi, mukhoza kuyamba kuthetsa vutoli ndikuchoka m'manja mwake. Kuphatikiza apo, mumayambanso kudzikonda nokha momwe muliri. Kumbali inayi, muyenera kutsatiridwa ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo. 

5. Dulani kukhudzana konse ndi wonyengerera wopotokayo

Tsopano popeza mwamaliza masitepe anayiwa, ndi nthawi yotuluka pa manipulator. Mukatalikirapo, kudalira kwanu pa izo kumachepa. Muyenera kudula mitundu yonse yolumikizana ndi wonyengererayo. Mutha kuletsa kulikonse. Muyenera kupewa kuwauza adilesi yanu yatsopano. Muyenera kudziwa kuti wonyengerera sangafune kudzichiritsa yekha, choncho khalani kutali naye m’malo momuthandiza.  

6. Funsani katswiri wa zamaganizo 

Ndikofunikira kwambiri kukaonana ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo kuti atuluke muchinyengo cha onyenga. Wolusayo amasewera pa zofooka za wozunzidwayo ndipo amapereka zonse kumayambiriro kwa chiyanjano kotero kuti munthuyo amamudalira kwambiri. Cholinga chake ndi chakuti wozunzidwayo akhale pansi kwambiri pamene akufuna kuthetsa ubale wawo. Motero, kuti amangenso moyo wawo, wozunzidwayo amafunikira thandizo la maganizo. 

Maumboni a m'Baibulo

Nawa maumboni asanu ndi awiri a Baibulo pamutu wa "wonyenga wonyenga":

  1. Roudinesco, E. (2007). Mdima Wathu Tokha: Mbiri Ya Opotoza. Paris: Albin Michel.
  2. Anatrella, T. (2005). Kusiyana Koletsedwa: Kugonana, maphunziro, chiwawa. Paris: Flammarion.
  3. Cifali, M. (1994). The Narcissistic Pervert ndi mnzake. Paris: Dunod.
  4. Hirigoyen, M.-F. Kuzunza: Kuchitira nkhanza tsiku ndi tsiku. Paris: Syros.
  5. Tisseron, S. (2000). Manyazi: Psychoanalysis of a social bond. Paris: Dunod.
  6. Racamier, P.-C. (1992). Osokoneza Narcissistic. Paris: Payot.
  7. Roudinesco, E. (2024). "Dominique Pelicot ndi omwe amamutsutsa si amuna wamba." Le Monde.

Maumboni awa amapereka malingaliro osiyanasiyana pa lingaliro lakunyengerera molakwika, kuphatikiza njira zama psychoanalytic, chikhalidwe cha anthu komanso mbiri yakale.

Kutsiliza

Pomaliza, wonyengerera woipayo ndi wonyenga kwambiri, wokhoza kubisa umunthu wake weniweni kumbuyo kwa nkhope yokopa ndi yosamala. Kumvetsetsa njira zake zogwirira ntchito komanso kudziwa momwe mungazindikire khalidwe lake ndikofunikira kuti mudziteteze kwa izo. Ngati mukukumana ndi munthu woteroyo, njira zothetsera mavuto zilipo, kuphatikizapo kuzindikira, kusiya kuyanjana ndi chithandizo chamaganizo, kuti muthe kuyambiranso ndikumanganso kudzidalira kwanu.

Kufunsira: Narcissistic wopotoza bodza

Cristina Balan
Nkhani zaposachedwa kwambiri za Cristina Balan (onani zonse)

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